• Biblical Families is not a dating website. It is a forum to discuss issues relating to marriage and the Bible, and to offer guidance and support, not to find a wife. Click here for more information.

What's on your wish list?

Keith Martin said:
Because, absent her effort, every new human being would require everyone else to do a little more of what they've already been doing in their realms of the division of labor in order to take care of the new person as well.

This is a basic of the principle of economy of scale. If an environment is well-oiled, everything necessary to take care of everyone's needs is distributed among those who already exist in the environment. If a new person who contributes nothing is added to the mix, the workloads of everyone else will generally increase a bit. However, if the new member is a fully-participating contributor to the environment, the work loads of everyone else will decrease a bit, and, generally, the work load of the new member decreases the most, because previously, she or he would have been doing everything for herself or himself.
Click to expand...
you are right Keith Martin. But as a baseline I assume that every new person is willing to contribute the necessary part. Except perhaps a newly joining 2nd or 3rd wive. who might need some guidance for the start
 
meister said:
you are right Keith Martin. But as a baseline I assume that every new person is willing to contribute the necessary part. Except perhaps a newly joining 2nd or 3rd wive. who might need some guidance for the start
Click to expand...
Yeah, well, we ALL need a little guidance, at the very least, don't we?

It's, however, not at all uncommon for women to appear here and throughout life who present themselves as desiring to join a family for which their only substantive duties would be sex and child rearing. Such an individual would be a net drain to everyone else, including any pre-existing children.
 
Keith Martin said:
However, if the new member is a fully-participating contributor to the environment, the work loads of everyone else will decrease a bit, and, generally, the work load of the new member decreases the most, because previously, she or he would have been doing everything for herself or himself.
Click to expand...
Well stated. It doesn't take much longer to prepare a bit more food when you are already feeding (right now with guests) 12 people. Laundry is another matter though, as even a tiny baby adds a lot of that!!
Time with hubby for a wife that has lots to do gets hard to come by....especially morning time when breakfast and chores MUST be done. "Job share" might make life better....but only if the wife didn't end up with a young lost someone as a co-wife that has to be told everything or managed like one of the children.
 
Joleneakamama said:
Well stated. It doesn't take much longer to prepare a bit more food when you are already feeding (right now with guests) 12 people. Laundry is another matter though, as even a tiny baby adds a lot of that!!
Time with hubby for a wife that has lots to do gets hard to come by....especially morning time when breakfast and chores MUST be done. "Job share" might make life better....but only if the wife didn't end up with a young lost someone as a co-wife that has to be told everything or managed like one of the children.
Click to expand...
those "young lost someone co-wives" deserve at least a chance to get settled.
 
meister said:
those "young lost someone co-wives" deserve at least a chance to get settled.
Click to expand...
Of course! But as PeteR stated in his recent blog post, many modern women have an exaggerated idea of their importance in marriage (princess syndrome) and probably also imagine their individuality and personal attributes are "prime real estate" for lack of a better way to put it.

Practically speaking, many modern women know very little about household management, (cooking, cleaning, gardening, laundry, teaching children, paying bills) and they may have unrealistic hollywood garbage ideas about love and intimacy too.

So, many a cute package has little real substance, or practical down to earth skills to bless a husband or family with.....yet they might also have great "self esteem." I am not really as pessimistic as I might seem in print, and I am also the sort that can love and appreciate someone and understand where they are coming or starting from.

For me the number one important attribute a woman should have...(and this is what I tell our sons to value in a prospective mate) is fear of YHWH. I know of nothing else that will make an emotional creature stay when the road gets rough and "feelings" are less warm and fuzzy. When the going gets tough....many modern women quit.

Faith and professed belief are manifested in how one meets the daily responsibilities of life. How does she handle redirection? How does she take correction? Does she throw a hissy fit and do a drama queen meltdown or just say ok and make the adjustment?

Just a few thoughts in print.
 
Joleneakamama said:
Of course! But as PeteR stated in his recent blog post, many modern women have an exaggerated idea of their importance in marriage (princess syndrome) and probably also imagine their individuality and personal attributes are "prime real estate" for lack of a better way to put it.

Practically speaking, many modern women know very little about household management, (cooking, cleaning, gardening, laundry, teaching children, paying bills) and they may have unrealistic hollywood garbage ideas about love and intimacy too.

So, many a cute package has little real substance, or practical down to earth skills to bless a husband or family with.....yet they might also have great "self esteem." I am not really as pessimistic as I might seem in print, and I am also the sort that can love and appreciate someone and understand where they are coming or starting from.

For me the number one important attribute a woman should have...(and this is what I tell our sons to value in a prospective mate) is fear of YHWH. I know of nothing else that will make an emotional creature stay when the road gets rough and "feelings" are less warm and fuzzy. When the going gets tough....many modern women quit.

Faith and professed belief are manifested in how one meets the daily responsibilities of life. How does she handle redirection? How does she take correction? Does she throw a hissy fit and do a drama queen meltdown or just say ok and make the adjustment?

Just a few thoughts in print.
Click to expand...
well. his decision to let a "young lost someone" join in should be well considered. Therefor he has to check the newbys traits like humility and obedience before.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top