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What's on your wish list?

Joleneakamama

Joleneakamama

Seasoned Member
Real Person
Female
Ok, so I don't mean a yacht or a country estate, I was just wondering what specific quality you might hope to find in another family member (wife or sister-wife). I'm not looking for the list of must have's, but more like for the extra aspect you might even feel selfish for wishing for.

My hubby was sure he was gonna marry a blue eyed girl. All his family have.... guess what color eyes?..... well mine aren't blue and he has never once complained .....'bout that.... (Probably 'causs there's plenty of other worthy subjects to discuss lol)

So, I don't have a list of qualities....but I would really appreciate a co-wife that likes to sing. I find many tunes that can brighten a day or make a job go quicker, so if'n I ever have a sisterwife....I hope she can carry a tune and likes to. :)

How about anyone else?
 
It is kinda weird to say, but at this point I don't think I'm particularly interested in an additional wife in general, but only in one particular woman. I don't need to marry her. If nothing happens with her, I probably wouldn't consider it with anyone else. Though I am certainly interested in this woman, were she to marry a different man (that is a servant of Christ), I would be very happy for them.

I'm sure some of you will remember that I have discussed this female friend in the past. Here are the reasons I am interested in her. Maybe that relates to the question at hand.

1. She is clearly a "born again believer". I don't say "born again" lightly. I see the true Faith in her. She believes in Christ, and her faith shapes her life.
2. She deeply loves my wife, and my wife deeply loves her. They are very dear friends. Though my wife is strongly opposed to the "hypothetical" thought of polygyny, she might be willing to share her husband and life with this friend.
3. She desperately longs to marry and have a family of her own. Yet, at almost 30 she has absolutely no prospects that we are aware of. She is shy, serious, introverted, and a little chubby. She wants to marry, but isn't making progress towards it.
4. Her personality is similar and compatible to myself andy wife. We understand each other. We all love spending time together, and can happily talk for hours on end.
5. She is a hard worker, and carefully manages her money and resources.
6. She likes country life and is very traditional.
7. She has a good character. She is cheerful yet reserved, and is very trustworthy.
8. She loves my wife's cooking, and enjoys cooking herself.
9. She has beautiful blue eyes and looks similar to my family. My wife looks very different than us, (and is totally awesome). It's just nice to have one of each. :)
10. She is intellectually stimulating to me. She is intelligent, well read, thoughtful, and insightful. We have wonderful conversations.
11. She loves children, is good with them, wants to have them, and is still young enough to do so.
12. I have "tingles" for her. I still have"tingles" for my wife after almost 22 years of marriage. The tingles are different and the women are different, yet there are tingles for both.
13. She also has good talents and life skills in different areas than myself and my wife.
 
Sounds like a good thing @Bartato!

The upside to knowing about polygyny is you get to stay in the meeting potential partners stage after marriage. The downside is you get to stay in the meeting potential partners stage after marriage. ;)

Same with having children after losses.

You can't win if you don't play....but those that don't play don't risk loss or rejection.

Hope springs eternal. :)
 
Joleneakamama said:
Sounds like a good thing @Bartato!

The upside to knowing about polygyny is you get to stay in the meeting potential partners stage after marriage. The downside is you get to stay in the meeting potential partners stage after marriage. ;)

Same with having children after losses.

You can't win if you don't play....but those that don't play don't risk loss or rejection.

Hope springs eternal. :)
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Too true. I have been taught that you only take the necessary risks and anything else is only meant to hurt you and that thinking has stopped me from being myself so much. Like Branson, I would love to go but so many factors that go with it. Would love to meet all going but my brain goes "what if you get hurt?" It is paralyzing at times. I know it is a retreat but, as I said, I live with my heart on my sleeve and I've been burned in just not relationships but friendships as well. I can only be me but tend to attract people who tend to see kindness as a weakness to exploit.
 
I have very few things that I want in a SW. They're pretty basic - that she loves kids, loves God, and is willing to work on her marriage and our relationship. But one extra thing that I would love is that she could sew. I cannot sew. It's just not my thing. When we need to get the sewing machine out I need Samuel with me and it normally ends up with him doing the majority of the sewing because he has the skills and it's quicker.
 
Bartato said:
It is kinda weird to say, but at this point I don't think I'm particularly interested in an additional wife in general, but only in one particular woman. I don't need to marry her. If nothing happens with her, I probably wouldn't consider it with anyone else. Though I am certainly interested in this woman, were she to marry a different man (that is a servant of Christ), I would be very happy for them.

I'm sure some of you will remember that I have discussed this female friend in the past. Here are the reasons I am interested in her. Maybe that relates to the question at hand.

1. She is clearly a "born again believer". I don't say "born again" lightly. I see the true Faith in her. She believes in Christ, and her faith shapes her life.
2. She deeply loves my wife, and my wife deeply loves her. They are very dear friends. Though my wife is strongly opposed to the "hypothetical" thought of polygyny, she might be willing to share her husband and life with this friend.
3. She desperately longs to marry and have a family of her own. Yet, at almost 30 she has absolutely no prospects that we are aware of. She is shy, serious, introverted, and a little chubby. She wants to marry, but isn't making progress towards it.
4. Her personality is similar and compatible to myself andy wife. We understand each other. We all love spending time together, and can happily talk for hours on end.
5. She is a hard worker, and carefully manages her money and resources.
6. She likes country life and is very traditional.
7. She has a good character. She is cheerful yet reserved, and is very trustworthy.
8. She loves my wife's cooking, and enjoys cooking herself.
9. She has beautiful blue eyes and looks similar to my family. My wife looks very different than us, (and is totally awesome). It's just nice to have one of each. :)
10. She is intellectually stimulating to me. She is intelligent, well read, thoughtful, and insightful. We have wonderful conversations.
11. She loves children, is good with them, wants to have them, and is still young enough to do so.
12. I have "tingles" for her. I still have"tingles" for my wife after almost 22 years of marriage. The tingles are different and the women are different, yet there are tingles for both.
13. She also has good talents and life skills in different areas than myself and my wife.
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I know this was just a “hypothetical but after a bad day it made me smile for a minute knowing I was at least “mostly” (I can tick boxes #1, 3,and 5-11 ) on someone’s “wish list”. Lol
 
Stephanie812 said:
I know this was just a “hypothetical but after a bad day it made me smile for a minute knowing I was at least “mostly” (I can tick boxes #1, 3,and 5-11 ) on someone’s “wish list”. Lol
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I wouldn’t doubt that you rate quite highly on someone’s wish list, you seem like a nice person.
I would encourage you to make a post in the introduction section, we would like to know you a bit better.
 
This inspires me to expand my list.

I mentioned Kindness. Coincidentally, my wife announced to me a couple days ago that she's decided to adopt the motto engraved in the inside of a nice ring she acquired at our temporary hotel home a couple months ago: "Be kind and brave." So I will start my list with those. I've noticed that many of us are choosing either qualities exactly like our current wives or the opposite. Both make sense. We are looking, of course, for more. Some of that more is more of ourselves that we can give, but some of that more is also discovering ways in which a new woman in our family can be a helpmeet in ways that our current wives are not the strongest. So I'm looking for the following (only the first seven are imperatives; none of the rest are deal breakers one way or another; they are roughly listed in order of importance):
  • Kind
  • Brave, including being willing to suffer relatively minor slings and arrows standing tall for polygyny
  • Trustworthy
  • Either a member of the Body of Christ or at the very least open to recognizing that Christ is the Messiah
  • Comfortable with the value of patriarchy
  • Has any number of children from 0 to 13
  • Understands proper discipline and is either fully willing to discipline her children or allows me to do so
  • If she wants more children, she must baby me through a vasectomy reversal -- and be grounded about the fact that our children will not have me around for at least the second half of their lives but will still be damn lucky not only to exist but to have me as a father
  • Willing to hold my hand in public while I'm also holding Kristin's
  • Committed to all aspects of family survival
  • Not a Kool-Aid Drinker (about Wuhan Flu, The Shot, post-modern progressivism, etc.)
  • Prefers non-fiction to fiction
  • Willing to learn why I occasionally use psychedelics but very rarely use alcohol or any other hard drugs
  • Sapiosexual
  • Not averse to being sexually attracted to another woman
  • Affectionate
  • Passionate or grounded or both
  • Loves to cook
  • Loves or hates to clean but will do it anyway, just like we already do!
  • Won't mind not having to do the laundry
  • Beautiful in my eyes, but at the same time different from Kristin's beauty
  • Tall or short
  • Health conscious
  • Loves to bicycle, especially in front of me
  • Likes a good car vacation
Those who know me well will likely immediately notice that something in particular is obviously missing, but it is missing on purpose. We already have enough of that in our family. And, no, I won't play guessing games about this.
 
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I am in awe of the ability that some have in making lists, my brain runs dry very quickly in those attempts.

But I will say that one thing that is very important to me is that the families spiritual beliefs need to be understood and embraced.
Can two walk together, except they be agreed?
Much less 3, 4, 5, 6?
 
steve said:
I am in awe of the ability that some have in making lists, my brain runs dry very quickly in those attempts.
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And I am in awe of the ability that some here have in keeping it simple.

That is why you and I are invaluable to each other.
 
Honestly, following being a Godly woman whom I actually got on well with and had a good nature, in terms of skillset I'd be looking for someone who complimented my first wife. I know my wife's strengths and weaknesses, and can see what different strengths I would like a second wife to have (and what weaknesses she could have which my first wife would complement her on!). However, if I were to make a list of those wants for a second wife, they would essentially be a list of what I perceive as my first wife's weaknesses, and I don't want to post such a list here.
 
FollowingHim said:
Honestly, following being a Godly woman whom I actually got on well with and had a good nature, in terms of skillset I'd be looking for someone who complimented my first wife. I know my wife's strengths and weaknesses, and can see what different strengths I would like a second wife to have (and what weaknesses she could have which my first wife would complement her on!). However, if I were to make a list of those wants for a second wife, they would essentially be a list of what I perceive as my first wife's weaknesses, and I don't want to post such a list here.
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Oh yes, you'll get such a side eye from her... <.<
 
FollowingHim2 said:
Lol. Honestly, I hadn't thought about it. I already posted one of my weaknesses above. But he's right, and he's thoughtful and loving, and that's why I love him :D.
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And it's a darn good thing you found him, because if you hadn't you might have had to marry a monster like me!

;)
 
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