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Hi everyone!
I appreciate your feed back, I think there is a lot of encouragement here.
Harsh monogamy of the Baptists I grew up with just doesn’t make space for these ideas, its harmful two fold;
The “one wife” picture inherently creates a “picture” before the wife, polygamy must look beyond the one wife image to begin with. My fundamentalist up bringing has prepared me my whole life to be “the” perfect wife, you could imagine the pressure, wouldn’t God want women to be in company with other wives to be better.
while of course I fully subscribe to the picture of the biblical wife, by being more then one differences in wifehood are accepted, husbands are served better, more children are brought forth, wives experience less pressure.
just thoughts. Maybe if out of my territory.
 
FollowingHim said:
Except your wife @cnystrom is a prefect wife, while mine is a perfect wife. I really wouldn't want a prefect wife, personally, I'll settle for perfect. :D
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I don't want a prefect wife, and I even more vehemently don't want a perfect wife. A perfect wife could only be fooled into marrying me and would likely at best just barely tolerate me as she quickly learned my imperfections.

Now, if I take what you're asking, @Joy, to be, What would be ideal in a wife?, I would say:

a. Willingness to take full responsibility for making an assessment in advance of agreeing to marriage of whether or not the potential man is a fit leader for her -- and then, once marriage has ensued, recognizing that taking full responsibility for having made that assessment entails being entirely submissive to his good leadership. If he changes radically and stops being the good leader he once was, and no amount of feedback about that change persuades him to return to his leadership role, then it would be reasonable to consider ending submission. However, just because that good leadership isn't altogether entirely consistent, or just because the wife grows tired of being submissive is no excuse to abandon following her leader. Marriages are destroyed by too many chiefs and not enough Indians.

b. The ideal wife also has sometimes wavering but generally undying passion for her husband. It is tremendously more important for women to be attracted to their husbands than it is for men to be attracted to their wives, and the main reason for this is that women are far more discriminating than are men when it comes to who they think are hot. One rarely hears about a woman, "Oh, she'd hook up with anything in pants," but it's not that unusual to hear the reverse. Also begging for this quality in wives is the fact that, while women are unquestionably more dependent on men than vice versa, men have even more of a core need to be wanted and desired than do women -- and the evidence of this is how difficult it is for most men to admit it.

There is nothing in the world to beat a nice, kind, obedient, horny wife who looks at you like you're their version of the guy in those original Diet Coke commercials.

I don't disagree with the sentiments about good Christian upbringing, but there are too many arguments about what that even means (and too many mainstream Christian churches these days who are very purposefully bringing their girls up to be good little fascist feminists) to use that as a driving general requirement, other than -- of course -- to determine before marriage that the two of you see eye-to-eye when it comes to issues of faith.
 
My biggest desire, is to have a wife who is wiling to stick with it through the most difficult circumstances. Too many women want to back out when the going gets rough! The ideal wife realizes that there will be good times and there will be bad times, and when those bad times come, it's not time to cut bait and leave.
 
Joy said:
Hi everyone!
I appreciate your feed back, I think there is a lot of encouragement here.
Harsh monogamy of the Baptists I grew up with just doesn’t make space for these ideas, its harmful two fold;
The “one wife” picture inherently creates a “picture” before the wife, polygamy must look beyond the one wife image to begin with. My fundamentalist up bringing has prepared me my whole life to be “the” perfect wife, you could imagine the pressure, wouldn’t God want women to be in company with other wives to be better.
while of course I fully subscribe to the picture of the biblical wife, by being more then one differences in wifehood are accepted, husbands are served better, more children are brought forth, wives experience less pressure.
just thoughts. Maybe if out of my territory.
Click to expand...
I am a Southern Baptist myself. Last year I was kicked out of a leadership position, after I told my pastor in an email, that I disagreed with his position and statements he made in a sermon. Later they asked me not to promote polygamy while on campus. Then in August, I was removed from the orchestra. The orchestra director asked the people to pray for me, but didn't want to tell anybody why. I was given an opportunity to come back to the orchestra, if I were willing to recant, and not send the pastor any more emails about anything I disagreed with him on. I told the worship leader that I would really miss playing there, because his requests were not acceptable. I haven't been kicked out of the church yet. I have been very discreet, but have still had opportunities to explain to various members, while off campus, where I stand. I have also been told that if I do get a second wife, I will probably be asked to leave the church. I have an eye open for a few churches around here, that I will visit, if and when that happens. Suffice it to say, I know all about how harsh the Baptist church is with regard to polygamy.

A couple weeks before the Corona Virus shut down, our Bible study class went through Romans 1. I was shocked to hear members of our Bible Study class defend homosexuality. The pastor hardly ever preaches against it. That is a sharp contrast from the pastor of my former church, who never hesitated to bring up the issue, as well as the issue of abortion. I know where my church stands on these issues, but it is sad to see them cower in the corner, when they have an opportunity to bring those things up, but of course, if you bring up polygamy, they have no qualms about shutting you down.
 
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what makes a perfect wife is what God chooses for the man. one man thinks it’s this set of things, another thinks it’s that, one has an idea it’s some other characteristic, and finds out He chose to send what the man needed, not what the man wanted.
God gives good gifts to his children.
 
cnystrom said:
Keith nails it. If only I could find another woman who looks at me like you're their version of the guy in those original Diet Coke commercials.


:)
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I also happen to be married to the most wonderful fulfilling man with not a six pack but a keg and his salt and pepper is starting to show as well. Lol! And I, as the fit workoutaholic am always looking at him with lust. My King treats me so amazing I can't help but have overwhelming desire for him ALWAYS. He makes life worth living and I don't care what he looks like to anyone else. He is my sexy man and he floods me and my 8 children with his love so overflowing I can't wait to share it with a sister wife one day.
 
^^^ Pure Gold ^^^
 
Joy said:
Hi everyone!
I appreciate your feed back, I think there is a lot of encouragement here.
Harsh monogamy of the Baptists I grew up with just doesn’t make space for these ideas, its harmful two fold;
The “one wife” picture inherently creates a “picture” before the wife, polygamy must look beyond the one wife image to begin with. My fundamentalist up bringing has prepared me my whole life to be “the” perfect wife, you could imagine the pressure, wouldn’t God want women to be in company with other wives to be better.
while of course I fully subscribe to the picture of the biblical wife, by being more then one differences in wifehood are accepted, husbands are served better, more children are brought forth, wives experience less pressure.
just thoughts. Maybe if out of my territory.
Click to expand...
I have the same religious background as you do. Although I love the wonderful people who gave me the Gospel, I realize that most independent fundamental Baptists simply refuse to believe the Bible when it comes to polygyny. They have been blinded by false teaching. I think the conclusions you mentioned are spot on.
 
Joy said:
What makes a perfect wife in polygamy
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The same as what makes a perfect wife in monogamy.

Perfect wives are the result of the diligent cultivation of the husband; the molding, shaping of an imperfect person into the sanctified helper he needs her to be. So the most important characteristic for a women is to be teachable and eager to please.
 
blessedwith1 said:
I have the same religious background as you do. Although I love the wonderful people who gave me the Gospel, I realize that most independent fundamental Baptists simply refuse to believe the Bible when it comes to polygyny. They have been blinded by false teaching. I think the conclusions you mentioned are spot on.
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We baptists need to have our own Section. There is a lot that we have experienced that we can relate to with one another.
 
Daniel DeLuca said:
We baptists need to have our own Section. There is a lot that we have experienced that we can relate to with one another.
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If a bunch of Baptists all ask me for a Baptist section, like the Hebrew Roots have a section, I can easily make it. Same goes for any other denomination. My only stipulation is that there needs to be a practical reason for it, a reason it would be useful to the community to organise the forum that way, and it needs to be something people will actually use.
 
FollowingHim said:
If a bunch of Baptists all ask me for a Baptist section, like the Hebrew Roots have a section, I can easily make it. Same goes for any other denomination. My only stipulation is that there needs to be a practical reason for it, a reason it would be useful to the community to organise the forum that way, and it needs to be something people will actually use.
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I was born and raised Baptist.
I don’t feel any need at all for our own section, maybe an All Things Baptist thread would show the need or lack thereof.
 
Mark C said:
I was born and raised Methodist - then United Methodist, then Baptist, Presby, more Baptist, et al...didn't see too much difference on the things that turned out to really matter.
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It’s great to have been tampered with.

Thank you, Harold Hill.
 
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