This author defends the use of porn, do you guys agree?
https://biblicalgenderroles.com/2016/10/16/christian-blogger-says-porn-is-good/
https://biblicalgenderroles.com/2016/10/16/christian-blogger-says-porn-is-good/
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Is Porn Use good for Christians?
- Thread starter sun
- Start date
Sun, what do you think about it?
If you've got an opinion yourself that you'd like to discuss, I might put some time into responding.
If you've got an opinion yourself that you'd like to discuss, I might put some time into responding.
I believe the author has a very valid point. I am surprised at such a point of view because I traditionally associate Christian condemnation of porn by conservative right wing preachers. This is a statement from his site:
"That last statement about a strict, repressive religious upbringing is absolutely true. The highest numbers of compulsive porn users who use porn irresponsibly or get into other sexual troubles are people that are raised in strict fundamentalist homes.
If you repress human sexuality and do not allow it to be exercised in normal and healthy ways, it will inevitably lead to true perversion (as opposed to perceived perversion) and every type of sexual sin imaginable."
I agree that Christians in American in particular conservative denominations suppress human sexuality by flawed interpretation of the Bible. The Songs of Solomon is pretty explicit about sexuality. I believe this same attitude and misinterpretation of scripture extends to polygamy as well. I find his outlook of porn and the bible quite interesting. I never knew there could be a positive view of pornography from a biblical perspective. It is the same surprise I had when I found this website and researched about polygamy.
I think human sexuality needs to be seen as normal, healthy and human. Women and especially men should not be made to feel guilty about having sexual thoughts and desires.
I think that it is very clear from the society around us that pornography is, as a general rule, harmful. This is why many secular people oppose pornography also. Something doesn't need to be clearly condemned in the Bible as sinful to be a bad idea.
I do take the author's general point that, if you really dig hard into scripture, an argument can be made that pornography is not explicitly condemned. Having said that, we are told not to "uncover thy neighbour's wife", and we're also told that a man who sleeps with a virgin is required to marry her. This means that every woman doing porn, who are not virgins, are at least to be considered betrothed if not married to another man. This means that it is sinful for us to "uncover" them, to see them naked. It would be pretty difficult to find porn that didn't violate this (except for some child porn, which is obviously wrong for plenty of other reasons).
I'd put this into the grey area of "potentially arguable scripturally, but don't do it". The practical implications of that are
I also thoroughly agree with this:
I do take the author's general point that, if you really dig hard into scripture, an argument can be made that pornography is not explicitly condemned. Having said that, we are told not to "uncover thy neighbour's wife", and we're also told that a man who sleeps with a virgin is required to marry her. This means that every woman doing porn, who are not virgins, are at least to be considered betrothed if not married to another man. This means that it is sinful for us to "uncover" them, to see them naked. It would be pretty difficult to find porn that didn't violate this (except for some child porn, which is obviously wrong for plenty of other reasons).
I'd put this into the grey area of "potentially arguable scripturally, but don't do it". The practical implications of that are
- If you're deciding what to do tonight, choose not to do porn. But:
- If you're looking back on your life and trying to figure out where you sinned in the past so you can confess your sin to God, don't worry about seeing the odd bit of porn because scripture isn't entirely clear, pay attention instead to the stuff you are certain was sinful (from clear scripture and/or clear personal conviction).
I also thoroughly agree with this:
But the solution to that is to exercise human sexuality "in normal and healthy ways" - in other words, find a good wife and take her to bed. The church has certainly repressed sexuality by refusing to talk about it except in hushed tones as something seemingly "dirty", by discouraging marriage of mature teenagers and promoting long engagements and late marriages (long times of temptation), by refusing polygamy and thus increasing the temptation to adultery... This is a major problem. The solution is not to simply then justify the perversions that result by saying that they aren't technically banned by scripture, but rather to promote marriage - ie encourage mature young people struggling with temptation to marry, help married couples to truly satisfy each other's desires, and when that is not enough encourage married men struggling with temptation to marry additional wives.
http://therevoltingman.weebly.com/what-does-god-say-about-pornograpy.html
This link is to a study I posted to an aborted attempt at a website. It expresses my heartfelt thoughts on the subject of "porn".
This is an issue that I believe has been trumped up to drive some men out of the church, place others in a false bondage and give still others an excuse to shirk their duties.
Like many things; such as smoking, gambling, drinking,swearing, hobbies and overeating, it can get out of hand. And I don't think anyone would classify it as healthy. It will be progressively minimized in the maturing Christian's life. But God doesn't regulate it so we can't. The normal laws concerning sex apply though and while there is a lot of freedom there in principle, in practice there can be a lot of restrictions.
This link is to a study I posted to an aborted attempt at a website. It expresses my heartfelt thoughts on the subject of "porn".
This is an issue that I believe has been trumped up to drive some men out of the church, place others in a false bondage and give still others an excuse to shirk their duties.
Like many things; such as smoking, gambling, drinking,swearing, hobbies and overeating, it can get out of hand. And I don't think anyone would classify it as healthy. It will be progressively minimized in the maturing Christian's life. But God doesn't regulate it so we can't. The normal laws concerning sex apply though and while there is a lot of freedom there in principle, in practice there can be a lot of restrictions.
That is an excellent article Zec.
The primary secular issue I first noted with pornography in my comment above is that it is clearly "harmful", by which I was referring to the amount of damage it causes in marriages. However, a large part of that damage is not caused by pornography in and of itself, but by the emotional reaction of a wife to her husband's use of pornography (or vice versa). The pornography combined with the wife's disapproval of pornography causes enormous tension and marriage failure. This can be prevented by removing the porn - but it also must be admitted that the tension could be equally prevented by removing the wife's objection to the porn... So even marital failure cannot in itself be evidence that porn is harmful.
The Bible doesn't speak explicitly against pornography - but when you get into the details of any particular case, it often involves lusting after a married woman (ie a woman whom we should consider to be married, whether or not she considers herself to be), which is forbidden. This means in practice it may often be sinful, yet only in an indirect way, as it is not explicitly prohibited.
And I think most of us must admit that we gladly look at a statue of a nude woman on a fountain in a local park and don't think anything of it, don't even stop the kids from looking, because we don't even register it as being a problem at all. It's just a statue. The same goes for famous old artwork. The line between art and "porn" is blurry, and that too should give us pause for thought.
I'm not promoting porn use, for many reasons. But I would certainly encourage people to relax about it enough so that it doesn't destroy their marriage if it does occur.
The primary secular issue I first noted with pornography in my comment above is that it is clearly "harmful", by which I was referring to the amount of damage it causes in marriages. However, a large part of that damage is not caused by pornography in and of itself, but by the emotional reaction of a wife to her husband's use of pornography (or vice versa). The pornography combined with the wife's disapproval of pornography causes enormous tension and marriage failure. This can be prevented by removing the porn - but it also must be admitted that the tension could be equally prevented by removing the wife's objection to the porn... So even marital failure cannot in itself be evidence that porn is harmful.
The Bible doesn't speak explicitly against pornography - but when you get into the details of any particular case, it often involves lusting after a married woman (ie a woman whom we should consider to be married, whether or not she considers herself to be), which is forbidden. This means in practice it may often be sinful, yet only in an indirect way, as it is not explicitly prohibited.
And I think most of us must admit that we gladly look at a statue of a nude woman on a fountain in a local park and don't think anything of it, don't even stop the kids from looking, because we don't even register it as being a problem at all. It's just a statue. The same goes for famous old artwork. The line between art and "porn" is blurry, and that too should give us pause for thought.
I'm not promoting porn use, for many reasons. But I would certainly encourage people to relax about it enough so that it doesn't destroy their marriage if it does occur.
That means a lot coming from you Samuel. Thank you.
Having discussed this further with Sarah to understand how my posts above are perceived by others, I realise I need to add an additional comment.
Pornography can seriously impact the sexual relationship between a man and his wife. It can cause a man to start expecting his wife to act in unnatural ways she would be uncomfortable with. It can even ultimately result in him failing to be able to actually have sex with her at all. It can be extremely damaging. The production of certain forms of porn can also involve abuse. Although I have already stated repeatedly that I would discourage porn use, I really cannot stress this enough. Porn is a very bad idea, for a whole host of reasons, which are very well documented elsewhere. This is common knowledge (which is why I didn't see a need to write it down initially), and I do not intend to contradict it in any way whatsoever.
When I recognise the ambiguities of scripture on this matter, and suggest relaxing dogmatic attitudes slightly, what I mean is relaxing "you get that filthy porn out of our house or I'm divorcing you" to "your porn use is a problem for our marriage, how may we work together to reduce and ultimately stop it?". Scriptural ambiguity simply gives us the flexibility to have loving, constructive and collaborative personalised approaches to work through such issues, and take time to do so when needed (possibly a lot of time in some cases), rather than jumping to black-and-white confrontational ultimatums. I do not in any way intend to imply that pornography is fundamentally acceptable.
Pornography can seriously impact the sexual relationship between a man and his wife. It can cause a man to start expecting his wife to act in unnatural ways she would be uncomfortable with. It can even ultimately result in him failing to be able to actually have sex with her at all. It can be extremely damaging. The production of certain forms of porn can also involve abuse. Although I have already stated repeatedly that I would discourage porn use, I really cannot stress this enough. Porn is a very bad idea, for a whole host of reasons, which are very well documented elsewhere. This is common knowledge (which is why I didn't see a need to write it down initially), and I do not intend to contradict it in any way whatsoever.
When I recognise the ambiguities of scripture on this matter, and suggest relaxing dogmatic attitudes slightly, what I mean is relaxing "you get that filthy porn out of our house or I'm divorcing you" to "your porn use is a problem for our marriage, how may we work together to reduce and ultimately stop it?". Scriptural ambiguity simply gives us the flexibility to have loving, constructive and collaborative personalised approaches to work through such issues, and take time to do so when needed (possibly a lot of time in some cases), rather than jumping to black-and-white confrontational ultimatums. I do not in any way intend to imply that pornography is fundamentally acceptable.
One thing that comes to mind for me with regards to porn use is addiction. Just like with other vices that have been mentioned here, addiction to porn is damaging in a large part due to it keeping a person from a more full relationship with God. Of course, that can be said about addiction to food too.
Here is the really damaging issue with porn. It gives wives an excuse to sit in judgement of their husbands and to rebel. This is why there should be no restrictions put on porn other than those that depict specific acts already forbidden in scripture. Now in practice this will eliminate a lot of porn upfront.
But giving women an issue that has a powerful sway over them, namely the hoarding of sexual power which is their main problem with polygyny itself, and a perceived spiritual superiority, which is also a major area of temptation for many wives, is far more dangerous than anything "porn" that doesn't depict prohibited acts might do.
This is an area where we make null the Words of God; that expressly command a high level of submission from wives, with a tradition of men; that images that arouse sensual feelings are sinful.
But giving women an issue that has a powerful sway over them, namely the hoarding of sexual power which is their main problem with polygyny itself, and a perceived spiritual superiority, which is also a major area of temptation for many wives, is far more dangerous than anything "porn" that doesn't depict prohibited acts might do.
This is an area where we make null the Words of God; that expressly command a high level of submission from wives, with a tradition of men; that images that arouse sensual feelings are sinful.
I'm just going to address the title question. "Is porn good for Christians?"
Jesus set the bar on good pretty high when He repelled the title 'good' in Mark 10 18.
And Jesus said unto him, Why callest thou me good? there is none good but one, that is, God.
I bring up that point because 'good' is not a word to be thrown around lightly.
2 Peter 3
10But the day of the Lord will come like a thief. The heavens will disappear with a roar, the elements will be dissolved in the fire, and the earth and its works will not be found.
11Since everything will be dissolved in this way, what kind of people ought you to be? You ought to conduct yourselves in holiness and godliness
Holiness is the act of keeping oneself pure by not sinning, and refusing to touch anything that has been touched by sin. Holiness is the principal issue behind not eating meat if you find that it has been offered to an idol.
Godliness is the lifestyle of good works, worship, and abstinence from sin motivated by the fear (phobos) of the Lord.
These things are the correct manner to conduct yourself for coming face to face with God.
Therefore I would say that Holiness and Godliness are "Good for a Christian". I'm going to make a narrow-eyed understatement and say I do not believe that porn rises to the level of good. Highly recommend a word study on the word good (agathos G18) for some background on what the bible says actually is good and see where pornography might fit.
Further more if looking at a married woman with desire is adultery, then wanking it to porn of a woman whom is married is adultery and by definition is not good.
But James T. Christian is willing to go to the next level and do some research because he is very legalistic Motivated.
And he is able to determine that the young lady whose frantic copulation he is about to witness is nothing more than the perfect definition of a harlot for whom Christ died.
and therefore more or less fair game, under the law of Moses.
I would like to tell James (whose spank session has already been delayed) that harlotry is DISTASTEFUL to God, and he regards the wages of a harlot to be as defiled as the price of the sale of a dog, and He refuses to allow even the money from such things to be brought into the temple. (Deut 23:18).
Harlotry is not 'good' for Christians. But James, who by this time has ants in his pants, would like to point out that he is not hiring a prostitute himself... because that would be joining Christ to a harlot and that just won't do...( 1 Cor 6:15) he is merely watching and wanking.
I'll direct him back to the adulterers who were only watching and desiring, and still called adulterers by Christ. If a man does it in his thoughts and desires, it is done in his heart.
It is not good for christians.
But really, James already knew that. James doesn't care about that. Not right now. He'll worry about that sometime when he's fussing with the tissue paper or something. Right now James just wants to know if he can get away with it. But I'm really not here to help James feel comfortable with the how this sin compares relative to other sins, I'm here to address whether or not porn is GOOD for CHRISTIANS.
So I wanted to know what the author of that article might think of as 'good porn' and he had already obliged with this article.
https://biblicalgenderroles.com/the...ctually-be-a-ministry-and-be-honoring-to-god/
If you don't want to read the article in it's entirety allow me to bring forward a quote of what this guy thinks is a good thing.
"In the same way we as Christians should support the production of pornographic movies that adhere to a Christian worldview of sex.
That means movies that use only married actors to perform sex scenes.
It also means that these movies do not have types of sexual activities that violate God’s law such as homosexual acts and orgies.
From an amateur perspective, we should encourage Christian married couples to produce nude images and images of sex acts that are within the bounds of God’s law."
hah. This guy. This wolf in sheep's clothing. This cloud without rain. Do you understand that it doesn't matter how many good things this guy has to say about patriarchy or biblical gender roles? In it is the poison pill. "We should ONLY look at and desire OTHER MEN'S WIVES." Oh and if the missus is game, you should film her for other people's 'edification'.
Do you understand that Balak only had to send in the harlots to turn God against Israel? Do you think God would turn a blind eye to these preceedings? I assure you He would not.
So much for that guy. His definition of good porn revolves strictly around 'other men's wives'. I suppose i should pose the question: What's your definition of good porn? Although I can honestly say I'm not optimistic about the results of that question.
Philippians 4:8
Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things.
Jesus set the bar on good pretty high when He repelled the title 'good' in Mark 10 18.
And Jesus said unto him, Why callest thou me good? there is none good but one, that is, God.
I bring up that point because 'good' is not a word to be thrown around lightly.
2 Peter 3
10But the day of the Lord will come like a thief. The heavens will disappear with a roar, the elements will be dissolved in the fire, and the earth and its works will not be found.
11Since everything will be dissolved in this way, what kind of people ought you to be? You ought to conduct yourselves in holiness and godliness
Holiness is the act of keeping oneself pure by not sinning, and refusing to touch anything that has been touched by sin. Holiness is the principal issue behind not eating meat if you find that it has been offered to an idol.
Godliness is the lifestyle of good works, worship, and abstinence from sin motivated by the fear (phobos) of the Lord.
These things are the correct manner to conduct yourself for coming face to face with God.
Therefore I would say that Holiness and Godliness are "Good for a Christian". I'm going to make a narrow-eyed understatement and say I do not believe that porn rises to the level of good. Highly recommend a word study on the word good (agathos G18) for some background on what the bible says actually is good and see where pornography might fit.
Further more if looking at a married woman with desire is adultery, then wanking it to porn of a woman whom is married is adultery and by definition is not good.
But James T. Christian is willing to go to the next level and do some research because he is very legalistic Motivated.
And he is able to determine that the young lady whose frantic copulation he is about to witness is nothing more than the perfect definition of a harlot for whom Christ died.
and therefore more or less fair game, under the law of Moses.
I would like to tell James (whose spank session has already been delayed) that harlotry is DISTASTEFUL to God, and he regards the wages of a harlot to be as defiled as the price of the sale of a dog, and He refuses to allow even the money from such things to be brought into the temple. (Deut 23:18).
Harlotry is not 'good' for Christians. But James, who by this time has ants in his pants, would like to point out that he is not hiring a prostitute himself... because that would be joining Christ to a harlot and that just won't do...( 1 Cor 6:15) he is merely watching and wanking.
I'll direct him back to the adulterers who were only watching and desiring, and still called adulterers by Christ. If a man does it in his thoughts and desires, it is done in his heart.
It is not good for christians.
But really, James already knew that. James doesn't care about that. Not right now. He'll worry about that sometime when he's fussing with the tissue paper or something. Right now James just wants to know if he can get away with it. But I'm really not here to help James feel comfortable with the how this sin compares relative to other sins, I'm here to address whether or not porn is GOOD for CHRISTIANS.
So I wanted to know what the author of that article might think of as 'good porn' and he had already obliged with this article.
https://biblicalgenderroles.com/the...ctually-be-a-ministry-and-be-honoring-to-god/
If you don't want to read the article in it's entirety allow me to bring forward a quote of what this guy thinks is a good thing.
"In the same way we as Christians should support the production of pornographic movies that adhere to a Christian worldview of sex.
That means movies that use only married actors to perform sex scenes.
It also means that these movies do not have types of sexual activities that violate God’s law such as homosexual acts and orgies.
From an amateur perspective, we should encourage Christian married couples to produce nude images and images of sex acts that are within the bounds of God’s law."
hah. This guy. This wolf in sheep's clothing. This cloud without rain. Do you understand that it doesn't matter how many good things this guy has to say about patriarchy or biblical gender roles? In it is the poison pill. "We should ONLY look at and desire OTHER MEN'S WIVES." Oh and if the missus is game, you should film her for other people's 'edification'.
Do you understand that Balak only had to send in the harlots to turn God against Israel? Do you think God would turn a blind eye to these preceedings? I assure you He would not.
So much for that guy. His definition of good porn revolves strictly around 'other men's wives'. I suppose i should pose the question: What's your definition of good porn? Although I can honestly say I'm not optimistic about the results of that question.
Philippians 4:8
Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things.
I remember thus guy now. You're exactly right Slumber, he should be shunned. Watching married women have sex is completely indefensible. This has been around for a while. I found this "godly porn" back when I was first discovering polygyny. Thankfully I found the Duke of Marshall at the same time. I don't think I would have fallen for this foolishness but one never knows. I've fallen for some foolishness in my time.
I think this same guy/group had another push centered around some more weirdness as well.
I think this same guy/group had another push centered around some more weirdness as well.
I'll have to scope out the Duke of Marshall. I don't think I've heard of him before. I think there's a lot of good wisdom and sense that needs to be addressed that deviates from the official 'party line' of the modern church, but for sure this guy isn't it 
I have to admit, I have struggled with this thread. As I see it right now, there are two related points being discussed here. First, is there anything biblically wrong with porn? This could also be reworded as "Can someone thump on their Bible and condemn me for looking at naked women?" Second, "Is porn use good for Christians?"
With regards to the first point, I consider this to fall under the heading, "Lawful but not beneficial". If we are specifically asking if a man can be biblically condemned for porn use as long as it fits all other criteria in the Bible? The answer to this seems to be no. Is it beneficial? I think the second point addresses that.
With regards to the second point, I would say this: I cannot think of a way that looking at porn glorifies God*. Perhaps one could argue that "naked woman" could be substituted for "sunset" in the following sentence, therefore glorifying God:
"Wow, look at that beautiful sunset! How can one deny His glory viewing something so beautiful?!"
I've not heard a man ever speak of viewing naked women in this way though.
Here's what this comes down to for me: I am seeking to glorify God in my life in all I do, and over time I find that is eliminating some things I formerly found to be acceptable or even worthwhile.
*I am confident that someone can point out other things in our lives that are okay but do not glorify God, some of which could undoubtedly be substituted for the word "porn".
With regards to the first point, I consider this to fall under the heading, "Lawful but not beneficial". If we are specifically asking if a man can be biblically condemned for porn use as long as it fits all other criteria in the Bible? The answer to this seems to be no. Is it beneficial? I think the second point addresses that.
With regards to the second point, I would say this: I cannot think of a way that looking at porn glorifies God*. Perhaps one could argue that "naked woman" could be substituted for "sunset" in the following sentence, therefore glorifying God:
"Wow, look at that beautiful sunset! How can one deny His glory viewing something so beautiful?!"
I've not heard a man ever speak of viewing naked women in this way though.
Here's what this comes down to for me: I am seeking to glorify God in my life in all I do, and over time I find that is eliminating some things I formerly found to be acceptable or even worthwhile.
*I am confident that someone can point out other things in our lives that are okay but do not glorify God, some of which could undoubtedly be substituted for the word "porn".
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This is wrong on so many levels.
Seriously, guys, even if you wanted to separate covetousness from the notion of being sexually attracted to the wife, which sounds an awful lot like mental gymnastics to justify one's behaviors...
You'd still be heightening yourself sexually as you watch a naked man in a sexual situation. Dangerous much?
Okay, so how do murders and adulterous proceed out of our hearts? simple, we make room to entertain things which breed sin.
So, before you partake, maybe you should ask yourself what kind of fruit trees that seed will bring forth.
Seriously, guys, even if you wanted to separate covetousness from the notion of being sexually attracted to the wife, which sounds an awful lot like mental gymnastics to justify one's behaviors...
You'd still be heightening yourself sexually as you watch a naked man in a sexual situation. Dangerous much?
Okay, so how do murders and adulterous proceed out of our hearts? simple, we make room to entertain things which breed sin.
So, before you partake, maybe you should ask yourself what kind of fruit trees that seed will bring forth.
Obviously, there is no way in which porn could be called "good". But why do people do it? I wonder how many situations go something like this:
Man has a legitimate, God-given desire for more than one woman. God has designed him to be a highly motivated, highly successful man who has the potential for great achievement in all areas of his life - he is on his way to be a successful businessman, church leader, top specialist employee - whatever he does, he has the drive to do abundantly. And the same drive applies to marriage - he is fundamentally a man who could also have multiple wives. He is the man God designed him to be.
But he doesn't understand this. He only knows that he has feelings for more than one woman - and assumes these feelings must come from Satan. Satan latches on to this as a weak point to attack him. Satan encourages him to dwell on the physical lust side of this desire, to fantasize about other women, about sexual acts his wife wouldn't be comfortable with but maybe another woman would be... The man becomes more and more frustrated.
He prays against Satan. He asks for God to remove this desire for multiple women. Satan is knocked back, a bit - the temptations reduce somewhat - but the fundamental desire for more than one woman does not go away. However much he prays against Satan, this desire doesn't leave. Because the fundamental desire doesn't actually come from Satan, but from God, who has no intention of taking it away, that's the way he intended to make this man. But the man doesn't understand this. He thinks that God won't answer his prayers, and he can't understand why. He should be praying for a legitimate outlet for these feelings - another wife - but he doesn't do that, or doesn't act on it if God does bring someone along because he thinks that would be sinful. He just keeps praying a prayer that God will never grant, because it is against His will.
And Satan comes straight back, with even more temptation. Now Satan starts showing him his secretary, the neighbour's wife, the hot young atheist at the bar... Plenty of opportunities to be unfaithful to his wife, and in some cases for even deeper sin.
The man realises that he is at a serious risk of having an affair. He cannot allow this. He has to do something about this lust, that God won't deliver him from. He has to satisfy it somehow, but in a way that won't destroy his marriage, because he loves his wife, and in a way that involves as little sin as possible.
So he turns to pornography. Because it doesn't actually involve having sex with anyone else, so is less harmful than the alternative. And provided his wife never finds out, it will actually make her happier, because he'll be able to put less pressure on her to satisfy his frustrations herself...
This works for years. But Satan is there all along, pushing him into harder porn, keeping reminding him of his hot secretary... And eventually the man does slip further, and has an affair.
And his wife finds out. Then finds out about the porn. And her world falls down around her.
Now he is a man who did pornography for a decade or so, getting more and more intense over time, and finally had an affair. In the eyes of his wife, his pastor, and even possibly himself (because he really hasn't realised what's going on either), clearly a little bit of porn led to more porn and ultimately all this porn caused him to have an affair. Porn is clearly the problem. He needs to be cured of his porn addiction. And he can't live with his wife and kids until he is fixed...
But porn (bad as it may be), was NOT the problem. It was NOT the cause of his affair. It was only a symptom. Even the affair was only a symptom. All the counseling he is now to go through will not cure his problems, just attack the symptoms.
The fundamental problem is that God designed him to be a polygamist, but his society forbids polygamy and has convinced even him that polygamy is evil.
He is a steam engine, but in a country where steam engines are forbidden to travel on the tracks, so the outlet valve for his steam has been fixed shut. He just keeps on building up pressure until the steam leaks out in all sorts of places it shouldn't be. The only solution offered is to pour water on the fire. Nobody even considers letting him actually direct that steam into the pistons and drive off down the tracks as his Maker intended. The tracks haven't been used for so long in that country they're so overgrown nobody even remembers they are there. Nobody's ever seen a steam engine drive out the door, none of the engines have any examples to follow so most would probably crash even if they tried. Everyone just thinks steam engines are to look nice sitting in a shed and to blow their whistle occasionally. With this malfunctioning one, all they can see are the clouds of steam in the wrong places, the pressure in his boiler is only seen as a problem, and all they can think of to solve the problem is emasculation. Yes, the leaking steam is bad. Yes, it should be stopped. But they have completely missed the point. The problem only exists because the engine has been kept stuck in the shed.
Man has a legitimate, God-given desire for more than one woman. God has designed him to be a highly motivated, highly successful man who has the potential for great achievement in all areas of his life - he is on his way to be a successful businessman, church leader, top specialist employee - whatever he does, he has the drive to do abundantly. And the same drive applies to marriage - he is fundamentally a man who could also have multiple wives. He is the man God designed him to be.
But he doesn't understand this. He only knows that he has feelings for more than one woman - and assumes these feelings must come from Satan. Satan latches on to this as a weak point to attack him. Satan encourages him to dwell on the physical lust side of this desire, to fantasize about other women, about sexual acts his wife wouldn't be comfortable with but maybe another woman would be... The man becomes more and more frustrated.
He prays against Satan. He asks for God to remove this desire for multiple women. Satan is knocked back, a bit - the temptations reduce somewhat - but the fundamental desire for more than one woman does not go away. However much he prays against Satan, this desire doesn't leave. Because the fundamental desire doesn't actually come from Satan, but from God, who has no intention of taking it away, that's the way he intended to make this man. But the man doesn't understand this. He thinks that God won't answer his prayers, and he can't understand why. He should be praying for a legitimate outlet for these feelings - another wife - but he doesn't do that, or doesn't act on it if God does bring someone along because he thinks that would be sinful. He just keeps praying a prayer that God will never grant, because it is against His will.
And Satan comes straight back, with even more temptation. Now Satan starts showing him his secretary, the neighbour's wife, the hot young atheist at the bar... Plenty of opportunities to be unfaithful to his wife, and in some cases for even deeper sin.
The man realises that he is at a serious risk of having an affair. He cannot allow this. He has to do something about this lust, that God won't deliver him from. He has to satisfy it somehow, but in a way that won't destroy his marriage, because he loves his wife, and in a way that involves as little sin as possible.
So he turns to pornography. Because it doesn't actually involve having sex with anyone else, so is less harmful than the alternative. And provided his wife never finds out, it will actually make her happier, because he'll be able to put less pressure on her to satisfy his frustrations herself...
This works for years. But Satan is there all along, pushing him into harder porn, keeping reminding him of his hot secretary... And eventually the man does slip further, and has an affair.
And his wife finds out. Then finds out about the porn. And her world falls down around her.
Now he is a man who did pornography for a decade or so, getting more and more intense over time, and finally had an affair. In the eyes of his wife, his pastor, and even possibly himself (because he really hasn't realised what's going on either), clearly a little bit of porn led to more porn and ultimately all this porn caused him to have an affair. Porn is clearly the problem. He needs to be cured of his porn addiction. And he can't live with his wife and kids until he is fixed...
But porn (bad as it may be), was NOT the problem. It was NOT the cause of his affair. It was only a symptom. Even the affair was only a symptom. All the counseling he is now to go through will not cure his problems, just attack the symptoms.
The fundamental problem is that God designed him to be a polygamist, but his society forbids polygamy and has convinced even him that polygamy is evil.
He is a steam engine, but in a country where steam engines are forbidden to travel on the tracks, so the outlet valve for his steam has been fixed shut. He just keeps on building up pressure until the steam leaks out in all sorts of places it shouldn't be. The only solution offered is to pour water on the fire. Nobody even considers letting him actually direct that steam into the pistons and drive off down the tracks as his Maker intended. The tracks haven't been used for so long in that country they're so overgrown nobody even remembers they are there. Nobody's ever seen a steam engine drive out the door, none of the engines have any examples to follow so most would probably crash even if they tried. Everyone just thinks steam engines are to look nice sitting in a shed and to blow their whistle occasionally. With this malfunctioning one, all they can see are the clouds of steam in the wrong places, the pressure in his boiler is only seen as a problem, and all they can think of to solve the problem is emasculation. Yes, the leaking steam is bad. Yes, it should be stopped. But they have completely missed the point. The problem only exists because the engine has been kept stuck in the shed.
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I know this is a really old post, but I came upon it while checking to see if BiblicalGenderRoles was ever involved in this community and a search came up with this thread and a few others.
@The Revolting Man, I really appreciated your article. Especially the end of it addressing men and women using struggles with pornography to undermine male leadership.Not just pornography, but the male sex drive in general. I have been thinking about that a lot lately. @Keith Martin also brought up the issue of women thinking they don't have to submit to a husband who is anything less than Christ. I think the error in that thought process should be continued to be addressed here and in Christianity as a whole. Even people who misunderstand biblical families should be receptive to 1 Cor. 7.
Just as an update, BiblicalGenderRoles deleted both of the previously linked blog posts. It was actually his blog that first opened the door to my understanding of polygyny. It was researching Matt. 5:27-28 that actually led me to his blog (https://biblicalsexology.com/does-the-bible-condemn-sexual-fantasy-masturbation/). I dislike his tactics, but a lot of what he says seems pretty solid.
@The Revolting Man, I really appreciated your article. Especially the end of it addressing men and women using struggles with pornography to undermine male leadership.Not just pornography, but the male sex drive in general. I have been thinking about that a lot lately. @Keith Martin also brought up the issue of women thinking they don't have to submit to a husband who is anything less than Christ. I think the error in that thought process should be continued to be addressed here and in Christianity as a whole. Even people who misunderstand biblical families should be receptive to 1 Cor. 7.
Just as an update, BiblicalGenderRoles deleted both of the previously linked blog posts. It was actually his blog that first opened the door to my understanding of polygyny. It was researching Matt. 5:27-28 that actually led me to his blog (https://biblicalsexology.com/does-the-bible-condemn-sexual-fantasy-masturbation/). I dislike his tactics, but a lot of what he says seems pretty solid.