I remember "Act in haste, repent at leisure" marrying is an act, and a vitally important decision. ...so It's not a significant change.
-
Biblical Families is not a dating website. It is a forum to discuss issues relating to marriage and the Bible, and to offer guidance and support, not to find a wife. Click here for more information.
GRR... I am annoyed at two of our more public voices
- Thread starter Man_in_the_Middle
- Start date
Marry in haste, repent at leisure
Meaning:
Get to know somebody very well before you marry them, or you may regret it later.
Background:
The sentiment of this proverb has been traced back to Edmund Tilney's, A briefe and pleasant discourse of duties in mariage, called the flower of friendshippe, published in England in 1566:
This loue must growe by little and little,
and that it may be durable, must by degrées
take roote in the hart. For hasty loue is soone gone.
And some haue loued in post hast,
that afterwards haue repented them
But the first known expression in broadly its modern form is in William Congreve's comedy of manners The Old Batchelour, 1693:
Thus grief still treads upon the heels of pleasure:
Married in haste, we may repent at leisure.
In between these dates, Shakespeare took a stab at the concept in The Taming of the Shrew (1590/1592)
Katharina
No shame but mine: I must, forsooth, be forced
To give my hand opposed against my heart
Unto a mad-brain rudes by full of spleen;
Who woo'd in haste and means to wed at leisure.
I told you, I, he was a frantic fool,
Hiding his bitter jests in blunt behavior:
And, to be noted for a merry man,
He'll woo a thousand, 'point the day of marriage,
Make feasts, invite friends, and proclaim the banns;
Yet never means to wed where he hath woo'd.
Now must the world point at poor Katharina,
And say, 'Lo, there is mad Petruchio's wife,
If it would please him come and marry her!'
And Lord Byron expressed it elegantly in Don Juan (1819-24)
Now hatred is by far the longest pleasure;
Men love in haste, but they detest at leisure.
Copied from:
Why do we say Marry in haste, repent at leisure?
Marry in haste, repent at leisure: The source of this phrase and how to use it.
www.bookbrowse.com
BiblicalLiteralist
Member
What I think is trying to be said is as long as the man is willing and able to meet the responsibility that comes with another wife (Exodus 21:10), his motivations for desiring her are irrelevant.
Now whether or not his desire will be fullfilled is up to The Most High. He can desire all he wants it doesnt mean it will be fulfilled (Proverbs 16:9).
Now whether or not his desire will be fullfilled is up to The Most High. He can desire all he wants it doesnt mean it will be fulfilled (Proverbs 16:9).
Last edited:
"as the man is willing and able to meet the responsibility that comes with another wife, his motivations for desiring her are irrelevant."
FACT.
FACT.
Darn shame about all those husbands who mysteriously died after buying an object to enslave.
Ha!Darn shame about all those husbands who mysteriously died after buying an object to enslave.
They are not objects but they were bought. And if a man valued her, he would pay a pretty penny for her. And, she would know she was valued by how much he was willing to give for her.Mine will get an initial bride payment with the rest of the value in how much I pester, tease, titillate, frustrate and otherwise find ways to interact!
Just be careful who that other wife is. A man should want to bring in someone that helps build his household and not destroy it.
it is interesting that anything that can be built can also be destroyed. A wise builder will consider how all the pieces fit together before building.
Anyone that fails to manage their building, will soon end up with a ruins instead of a mansion...
Therein lies the other part of the challenge. Especially in today's perverted society where they teach up is down, and down is up.
Plenty of examples in Scripture where a bad wife destroyed everything that a man built. That's why a man should fulfill all righteousness when adding additional wives. That means do it according to the way the Father in Heaven wants it done. No pagan wives - no matter how gorgeous they may be on the outside. Beauty fades away - it doesn't last. She agrees to be biblically sound in terms of what is expected from her from the Creator. You get her father's permission. Just a few things to consider.
Oh, so since... "I know they are here," let's bring the YouTube/Patron disagreement to BibFam.no. I have not "gone" to them. I know they are here. I am throwing it out here for discussion. They are welcome to chime in anytime...
This is not a matter of sin against me where I would need to "go to a brother" and then later "go to the assembly"
We are here, engaging in a community of like minded people regarding a truth in the word of God. This is the best place for this conversation that I can think of. No malice....
The Bible says...
Matthew 5:23-24 KJV Therefore if thou bring thy gift to the altar, and there rememberest that thy brother hath ought against thee; (24) Leave there thy gift before the altar, and go thy way; first be reconciled to thy brother, and then come and offer thy gift.
I know it says "ought against thee" BUT you have ought against @PeteR and bringing the disagreement here makes it look like you are not holding your own there. So let's bring it here because... "We are here, engaging in a community of like-minded people regarding a truth in the word of God."
because you think... "This is the best place for this conversation that I can think of.".
I think the best place for this conversation is where it started, in a community of like-minded people regarding the truth, in the word of YaHWeH, and not too different platforms to spread him out thin.
Edward.... Perhaps you have not thought this out very well...
In the public forum, I support him, as I stated previously. I am all over in the comments under his videos, supporting him as he helps to share the truth of biblical families.
Here, in the confines of this community of like minded people, of which the two I called out are members, I sought to bring to light the points that are made publicly that need refined. Within this community, we have discussed this both pro and con and they can see where people who largely agree with them, see differences in how the arguments should be made. This is coaching 101. You don't do it in the other teams huddle.
I have stated over and over that this is not being done with malice as you would like to believe. I would even have to ask why, instead of discussing the points made, are you wanting to argue for Pete as if he is not capable of speaking for himself. Which, he has demonstrated many times he is more than capable of doing. If you go back and look at this very thread, I think you will note that Pete is not very angry with me. He made a point about me being anonymous here and then after I gave him a solid answer about that, he moved on. I do not think he is as offended as you are.
I do not know if you are a bible follower or not but the bible teaches us not to be easily offended. I recommend you take a quick look in the mirror and see how that verse sits with you.
Well said Megan!
I think the only thing that makes me uncomfortable in a man saying “he wants more wives to fill his sexual desires” …. I feel and this is my opinion and belief, that can change so hopefully no one will verbally beat me up. I feel that statement, makes the union solely about sex, it cheapens the union and not the life, the commitment. It is a huge commitment for everyone involved to live a poly life for God! We as women in western society are not raised with this thinking or mentality of “sharing a husband.” To get to a place where you can openly live the life boldly without conviction of what the world says, is huge!
There are many obstacles for everyone to overcome. When the focus is on fulfilling a sexual desire it “cheapens “ the reason. Either you are doing it for Godly reasons or you are doing it for sex. If you are solely in it for “sex” then stop using God as an excuse.
We all, and I mean every person from the bloom of youth on knows what married and unmarried couples do. So why does that even have to be stated? It is implied when a man says he has multiple wives that he enjoys sex. Great! You like sex what else do you like besides what is between her legs? When a man comes to me and says I like sex and his topic of conversation is about sex he has lost me before ever having me.
Ok that is my thought, I’m done.
If a man is only interested in sex, then he shouldn't get married even once.
Right? There is a WHOLE lot to like about wives that is aside from sex and given the portion of time within a span of time that is devoted to that activity vs. ALL the other things that go on in life, overly focusing on sex without considering the "whole enchilada" shows a remarkable lack of fore thought!But to make the argument that I am waiting for God to give me a wife and I do not have my own plan or desires is silly. God favors those who make plans. He tends to bless the work of our hands instead of just miraculously granting things to us.
if a man approaches a woman and all he can think about is sex, she would be taking a huge risk to proceed with that man. He should be all about his purpose in life and his wife or wives should a lower focus for him than his purpose. Making women your focus is a lack of purpose...
Proverbs 5:19, As a loving deer and a graceful doe, Let her breasts satisfy you at all times... .If a man is only interested in sex, then he shouldn't get married even once.
But to make the argument that I am waiting for God to give me a wife and I do not have my own plan or desires is silly. God favors those who make plans. He tends to bless the work of our hands instead of just miraculously granting things to us.
if a man approaches a woman and all he can think about is sex, she would be taking a huge risk to proceed with that man. He should be all about his purpose in life and his wife or wives should a lower focus for him than his purpose. Making women your focus is a lack of purpose...
Ok, sex and breasts.
@Man_in_the_Middle Here I am amazed at how many men screech the word "feminist" at every female who disagrees with them. Then proceed to label any men who feel said- women have a valid point as "white knights." All while being too little of a man to make a post where these women you incorrectly name call can actually defend themselves.
The tares show up every-time. It is amazing how often the feminists disagree with me.
I imagine many women disagree with you. The majority of women are nonconfrontational. I think you've mistaken their politeness and silence as applause.The tares show up every-time. It is amazing how often the feminists disagree with me.
You know, I'm old enough to where name-calling no longer bothers me as much as it should. Particularly via random men from the internet. However, it's pretty insensitive to call a young lady such names, I've seen you do so repeatedly. We've all been young once, we've all gone through stages in life where we're attempting to sort through things, who we are and where we fit in. I have someone very special to me who is Maia's age and the age of many other young ladies who are far too often on the receiving end of such labels.
Please keep in mind that it's extremely difficult for young ladies these days to do anything right in the eyes of men. On one hand they're being encouraged to sleep around and treat abortions as birth control, and on the other they have "conservative" men dismissing every opinion and thought they form for themselves as "feminist" indoctrination. While that may not be a burden on a woman such as myself, especially at my age, it's everything to young women. You're only pushing them further away. No one wants to learn biblical truth from people like that.
Please keep in mind that it's extremely difficult for young ladies these days to do anything right in the eyes of men. On one hand they're being encouraged to sleep around and treat abortions as birth control, and on the other they have "conservative" men dismissing every opinion and thought they form for themselves as "feminist" indoctrination. While that may not be a burden on a woman such as myself, especially at my age, it's everything to young women. You're only pushing them further away. No one wants to learn biblical truth from people like that.
Last edited:
Feminism is the antithesis of the Patriarchy. The Patriarchy is the order created by God himself. I do resist feminism and the ideology of all that goes with it. We are in a forum dedicated to Biblical Families. Not Polygny. The Patriarchy.
I don't know why tares grow in wheat fields... But, they do show up.
Your choosing to self identify is classic because the mentality that goes with it MUST resist men who are leaders and teaching other men to be leaders also...