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Why stop at 2 wives, why not 3 or 4 or 5...?

As I think on the question of weather/why a man would take 2, 3, ect wives, the question that I ask is why does an man want even one?
she is good looking, she has character traits that he likes, she has a heart devoted to YHWH and many more. But I also believe that YHWH has put in us men the desire and NEED to protect and provide, to conquer (I mean that in that we all want to win, be it the game, the woman, ect.)
, to be a leader. No where in Scripture do I see that it is required that a single woman and her offspring fill this need completely. Therefore is it not reasonable for a man to desire to continue to fill these God given/created needs? In effect it becomes a question of why not. Which, leads me to my next point/question. I see frequently across this forum men saying something to the affect of "I don't feel that I can take care of the wife I have let alone two or three". Might I put forward that I doubt that any of us where really, truly ready and able to take care of our first wife the way we know we should? I believe that YHWH uses marriage as a tool to refine us, to make us look more like His Son. The picture that comes to mind is that of a rock tumbler. You put in a couple of rough, sharp rocks, turn it on and let it run for a while and when you pull the rocks out they are smooth and shiny, the more rocks you put in the faster and more thoroughly the process is completed. This is what marriage does/can do to us.
So, my question is, instead of saying " I don't think I can handle this" could or should we say "YHWH, I desire to love my women as Yehushuah loves the church, apart from you I can do nothing, please give me the strength and courage to follow your Sons example. Father, wives are a blessing from you and I desire your blessing.
Now, I am a man who tends to look at things and say "I can learn that". This is how I look at marriage be it the first or second ect.
Growth is always preseaded by an overload of some kind so it stands to reason that one will not have the strength or love for another wife until he has her. You don't get stronger by thinking about lifting weights but by actually lifting them. Likewise, YHWH could, by His grace, give us a nature of selflessness, but most often He chooses to put something in our life to teach us these things.
These are just the ramblings of a man trying to figure things out. Thoughts and comments are welcome as I am always trying to refine my thoughts and beliefs.
 
Two is plenty for me! I wouldn't want more!
 
Hi,

I did not grow up in Christian Polygamy but I was Lead to it by GOD,
I will say that I am called to not have 2, 3, 4, 5 but 1000 Wives.
I will Build Temple of GOD and call together all who Follow GOD,
we are not meant to be so far apart we should be together so I call you.

I know that it will not be easy for man to do all that must be done,
But it is GOD who will make it happen not man.

GOD BLESS you all.
 
I am no expert, as I have only one wife and a sister in law that is very dear to me(but not a sexual partner). However, I do feel any family ought to live under the same roof to experiment true family life. multiple housing then seems to me out of the question.
Federic
 
Of course, I agree. Any real family should live together under the same roof. The rich experience of daily living cannot be complete otherwise. Still, it seems so difficult in so many ways to support many wives-as most gentlemen in this forum agree. So what to do?
Ideas please. Will we end up being just a bunch of wannabes?
 
We should stop before thirty six thousand five hundred wives correct?

365 new wives a year for 100 years = 36500 wives

It would be improper for one man to marry 36500 wives correct? (Unless the man was God "manifest in the flesh" (see 1 timothy 3:16 KJV))
 
Nathan7 said:
This might be annoying to some, but here's my take:

Given that I think we need to provide even better for our wives and families, than the World, or even most of the Church, does - not just materially or physically or time-wise, but love, guidance, protection and more - I think that most men will hit their personal "wall" long before 10 or even the Isaiah 4:1 7 wives. Of course, some are not even up to one, and I think the vast majority should stop at one. Of the rest, I think very few are able to properly meet needs beyond 2 or 3 wives. In fact, I'll just throw down the gauntlet and say that in 14 years of being around Christian plural marriage, I don't believe I've yet met a man who I though would be up to properly loving and providing everything for 4 women. The only men I've met with 4 or more wives, in fact, were clearly NOT up to that challenge, and thus failed miserably, in one way or another. We need to focus on the quality in our plural marriages, not the quantity.

Maybe God will raise up better men than we yet are, or have yet seen, who'll provide for 7 wives without breaking a sweat, with all 7 of those hearts going pitter-patter all the time. But I haven't seen it yet. Just sayin'.

So your personal 'limit' is not in the Word - it's in you. If you want to raise your limit - be a better husband to your current wife/wives.
Click to expand...

Thank you for sharing that Nathan. Every word of what you said I know to be fact. I truly hope all readers take it to heart and gain some much needed wisdom from your words.

In Him,
Deborah
 
P.S. I saw this thread under "New Posts" when I went surfing and I did not see it was under "Gentlemen Only," so...sorry guys...didn't mean to intrude. :oops:
 
You're excused, many of us have made the same mistake in the ladies section at some point!
 
Dear All,

I have three wives and I would say that it is not too many or too few but just right numb er of blessings for us. Some polygamous men opt, sometimes because there wives feel more comfortable with it, to keep them in separate houses. If you have to support separate house holds then I could see where the economic burden might become too much but if your wives get along enough to live under one roof then economies of scale start to kick in. That is how it has worked for us anyway.

For me, since I am a Christian, I have been led by the Holy Spirit to marry the wives I have and thus have I believe by faith that God would not give me more than I could handle. Thus far my confidence in my Father has proved correct.

What I do think is that the more wives you have the greater the degree of harmony and submission has to be practiced. I think some may stop at 2 simply because they A. cannot find another woman willing to join as a third or B. There is incomplete harmony between the present wives to the extent that it is impractical to add any more to the fray.

To me it is not a question of number but rather a question of how many God wishes to add to your family. Therefore, whatever number God chooses for you, will be the perfect amount.

Blessings,

Justin
 
Welcome to the forum Justin, it's great to have you here, and congratulations on the family God has given you. I really like your attitude of finding God's will and following that. It would be good to get to know you better.
 
Dear Following Him,

Nice to meet you too. I look forward to learning more about what is going on in this neck of the polygamy world.

God bless,

Justin
 
Please know this is not meant in a derogatory manner towards the forum whatsoever, but it could be that those men with larger families don't have the time or interest to be here. Families that have 4+ wives are generally well engaged with one another and a vast number of friends and family.
 
Courting4Life, you're dead right there. It is easy to get the impression that we're a bunch of monogamous and single people discussing polygamy theoretically, with a few polygamists. But in reality the many polygamous families associated with this forum just post less frequently than the non-polygamous people with questions. The polygamous families communicate more in person, they are too busy with life to be so active here. Not a criticism, nor is that universal, it's just what tends to happen.

I would encourage anyone to go to retreats and meet people in person, the balance of families is a bit different there, attending retreats in person is rightly a higher priority for many than engaging in online discussion.
 
A thought that came to me while showering - so it might be all wet ... :-)

Considering Isa. 4, it is not only the number (7) that is interesting, but also that they are willing to forego being cared for in relation to food & clothing. Hard times there with a reaction from the women. In addition consider that it has been the traditional division of labor for women to be responsible for textile production (spinning, weaving, sewing) and indeed to be involved on food production (garden) as well as providing help where needed.

What I am getting at is that the model where the man is alone responsible for providing the necessities of life - supporting his wife/wives - is really an anomaly; I'd say an upper middle class ideal that has little application for those of us in the trenches, as it were.

I submit, therefore, that this "upper middle class" ideal should not be used to determine if a husband is being a good provider/ doing his duty.

Further, let us not lose sight of the worsening economic situation. It is and will increasingly be the case that the aforementioned ideal will be unattainable for the vast and ever increasing majority of people.
 
I believe that the reason that the seven women choose this particular guy is that he already has several wives and is proving that he is who they want to be attached to.
The family is the one place where "From each according to their ability and to each according to their needs" applies. Their statement reflects this, they are not looking for a free ride.
I grew up in a large family in which my father took the responsibility to provide seriously. He worked hard outside of the home while engineering and growing a home-based business. We never made it above lower middle class, but we were family and my mother was at home.

I get real uncomfortable when guys use this passage to justify a business plan whereby the income is produced by their wives working away from the home.
 
Hi, Steve: Yes, about working outside the home I could not agree with you more, seeing as it is written that the woman should be a keeper at home.
 
I also believe if it is meant for us to have more than 2 wives God will provide that. I know my second wife was lead to me from God. I am in the process of talking to some possible 3 rd wife ladies. But it is important to be in prayer with our father asking for his guidence. We had one lady that was with us but turned out to be a scammer. So we all have to be in deli gent prayer.
In Gods love
Steve
Ps Cecil enjoyed your trip to tulsa and would love to have you come visit again
 
Its not about the number but the number YHWH has selected for you! In our case we have an agreement in place for peace and security of the wives who may have struggles with being stretched even more.
 
Anonymous said:
Dear All,

I have three wives and I would say that it is not too many or too few but just right numb er of blessings for us. Some polygamous men opt, sometimes because there wives feel more comfortable with it, to keep them in separate houses. If you have to support separate house holds then I could see where the economic burden might become too much but if your wives get along enough to live under one roof then economies of scale start to kick in. That is how it has worked for us anyway.

For me, since I am a Christian, I have been led by the Holy Spirit to marry the wives I have and thus have I believe by faith that God would not give me more than I could handle. Thus far my confidence in my Father has proved correct.

What I do think is that the more wives you have the greater the degree of harmony and submission has to be practiced. I think some may stop at 2 simply because they A. cannot find another woman willing to join as a third or B. There is incomplete harmony between the present wives to the extent that it is impractical to add any more to the fray.

To me it is not a question of number but rather a question of how many God wishes to add to your family. Therefore, whatever number God chooses for you, will be the perfect amount.

Blessings,

Justin
Click to expand...
What is the general consensus around here? All under one roof, or separate the wives? What do you men think?
 
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