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Why did God allow polygamy - side discussion

steve said:
@rejoicinghandmaid , choice is not the fulcrum with my statement.
The guy either is or is not adequate. Yes, he can and should grow, but the woman that marries an inadequate male hoping to see him grow into an adequate man is making a big mistake that may cause her to suffer for the rest of her life. And it may very well be abusive for her progeny.

If, however, a family were to take on a second wife that has problems of one sort or another, it wouldn’t necessarily ruin anyone’s life. A pregnancy would, of course, be inadviseable until stability is realized.
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I see this very differently. The man who is not a good leader can choose to realize this and choose to become one, seeking God's help in this. The woman who doesn't have a clue about yielding or following can choose to realize this and choose to begin working on it with God's help. To say that neither or either the weak man/leader or the less than desirable unsubmissive woman does not have a choice in the matter of who they become in the Lord is to be fatalistic and unrealistic in God's economy. Praise God that this choice can be made at any time in one's life journey. Sooner than later is preferable! :) The CHOICE of whether one marries or not has nothing to do with the RIGHT of whether one marries in most situations. The CHOICE to become a better you can affect the outcome of whether one is considered eligible for matrimony--monogomous or polygomous--but it doesn't determine the RIGHT. A father could say you don't have the right to marry my daughter based upon who you are. That dad has based his decision upon a list of criteria a suitor had to meet to receive his daughter's hand in marriage. Another dad might well consider the young man completely eligible and give his daughter's hand even though the young man had been turned down by the first dad. The father's had the RIGHT to say who got their daughter. The daughter has the RIGHT to say who she will or will not marry in most 21st century scenarios. CHOICE is behind the RIGHT in every scenario.
 
I think that it would be naive to give a second wife the power to “utterly destroy the entire household”.
 
rejoicinghandmaid said:
The man who is not a good leader can choose to realize this and choose to become one, seeking God's help in this.
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He can and should, but the woman that makes a choice based on the belief that he will is taking a rediculous riskfor herself and her future children.
 
rejoicinghandmaid said:
@Asforme&myhouse -- I truly didn't realize you had made your comment in jest until continued on down through the thread--after I'd posted my long comment, of course! I didn't mean to offend you.
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Oh I’m sorry, I should’ve quoted @steve to clarify who i was talking to. The “naive” statement was directed at you :)

Edit: it WASN’T directed at you! Geesh I cannot type today
 
steve said:
He can and should, but the woman that makes a choice based on the belief that he will is taking a rediculous riskfor herself and her future children.
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And a man who makes a choice based on the belief a sociopath will be able to “blend into a family” is taking a ridiculous risk for himself, his current wife and all of his children.
 
steve said:
If, however, a family were to take on a second wife that has problems of one sort or another, it wouldn’t necessarily ruin anyone’s life. A pregnancy would, of course, be inadviseable until stability is realized.
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Would this man be denying his second wife sexual intimacy until these problems are resolved to avoid the possibility of children entering the picture?
 
WifeOfHisYouth said:
And a man who makes a choice based on the belief a sociopath will be able to “blend into a family” is taking a ridiculous risk for himself, his current wife and all of his children.
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@WifeOfHisYouth --sometimes I see men seeing themselves as "fix-it" solutions. No matter how much one may care about about another, the whole picture has to be considered and one's decisions hopefully will not just be directed at helping one person--the sociopath, but be responsible to long-range play out what would happen to the whole applecart for which one is responsible should that apple be thrown into the mix--regardless of how sweet, juicy, or red it looks.
 
rejoicinghandmaid said:
Hey, you're good--just saying--NOT trying to get in the "last word"! :) (wish I could remember how to get to those crazy emotiocons--I'd use one other than the smiley!)
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Again sorry, that was to Steve. :)

The emoticons are in the box above where you type. There is a smiley face, just click it and the emoticons show up at the bottom of your text box. :)
 
Asforme&myhouse said:
@steve have you ever heard of “family court”, CPS, restraining orders, “parenting plans”, the various and sundry “women helping women” organizations?
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Of course, they can make your life miserable but if you and your first wife are solid, they cannot destroy you.
 
Asforme&myhouse said:
Again sorry, that was to Steve. :)

The emoticons are in the box above where you type. There is a smiley face, just click it and the emoticons show up at the bottom of your text box. :)
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Ah yes, see it now--what a bimbo I am at times. I knew I'd used them before but just couldn't see it.:oops::confused::rolleyes:
 
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