Of all the failures in my life, I see this one as the most survivable.
-
Biblical Families is not a dating website. It is a forum to discuss issues relating to marriage and the Bible, and to offer guidance and support, not to find a wife. Click here for more information.
Who should offer marital advice?
- Thread starter MemeFan
- Start date
What about the visible fruit of the last 5 years?
Seriously, bragging about your future victories……, I mean, that doesn’t somehow feel hollow to you?
Again, you think everything can be fixed through attraction (leading to sex), which can itself be achieved with dominance and touch.No, sex isn't my advice.
My advice is to generate attraction of which sex is consequence and proof it exists.
Method for generating attraction is dominance which universally ladies do find attractive. Touch also important, although not primary role.
Both sex itself and touch will generative bonding which will function as cement in relationship keeping them together.
This doesn't mean they won't have other issues, but now they will want to stay together which will make them both to consider mutually pleasing solutions.
You know if couple is to stay together, they have to think us, not what is good for me. How to propose to move minds into us category? Logic?
This is basic redpill advice and key reason why it works. There is reason better communication doesn't works. What makes you think so?
Btw, this proves you, @steve and @MrB failed to learn from @Eristhophanes.
Attraction is sociological and biological basis of marriage. It's existence means both members of couple want to have children together.
Strangely how institution which only exist because of children suddenly becomes workable after primary actors start to want to have children together. I wonder why?
This is only part of marriage.
Yes, it is "basic redpill advice", but most "redpill" speakers are not teaching how to achieve marriage, they are teaching how to get casual sex. The advice they give certainly will work to get casual sex, and short relationships. However, it is not sufficient to achieve lasting marriage.
@MemeFan, most of us men have had successful marriages for many years. Some have had multiple successful marriages. Some have had both failed and successful ones (giving even more learning opportunities). There is an enormous wealth of knowledge about marriage here. When you dismiss @steve, whose marital experience is extensive and well known, in favour of learning from redpill speakers talking about "game", you demonstrate yourself to be both unwise and unteachable.
No.
This knowledge is based on practical experience way of more men than that are here and who tried more different stuff with women that you can think.
So, sampling includes both more people, trying more different things and way more serious thinking about female nature than it could ever exist on this forum.
Empirically, they are better info source.
Yes, there is some knowledge, but does this forum has monopoly on world best experts on marriage? Off course, not.
Regarding redpill, you can start here:
Your issue is assuming wisdom is asking for advice only here. Yet, only thing which makes sense is asking everyone potentially useful which includes people not on this forum.
And regarding marriage isn't only sex. Yes, off course. But, without sex there is no reason for marriage.
Not at all. Do go and learn from everywhere you can. My issue is that to be a teacher of marriage you need actual experience of marriage, not just second-hand information from others and fragmentary experience gleaned from short-term relationships. I fully support you being a student of marriage from everywhere you can get information, good on you. I just want you to remember that still just makes you a student, not an experienced teacher, and temper your advice accordingly.
@MemeFan you are teaching second hand knowledge. That’s fine for things like math. Facts are facts and variables like personalities don’t change the results.
Theory about marriage is just that, theory, until you’ve done the lab work. It can come from very smart teachers who have proven it in their labs, but that doesn’t make it expandable to all situations.
If attraction is the key element, what happens when attraction wanes and there is attraction to someone new? Like so many marriages today, I’m not in love with you anymore.
Marriage has to be built on commitment, attraction is what draws them together but the choice to commit to one another is the foundation.
None-Christian marriages may very well be all about attraction but this site has the title of Biblical Families.
Theory about marriage is just that, theory, until you’ve done the lab work. It can come from very smart teachers who have proven it in their labs, but that doesn’t make it expandable to all situations.
If attraction is the key element, what happens when attraction wanes and there is attraction to someone new? Like so many marriages today, I’m not in love with you anymore.
Marriage has to be built on commitment, attraction is what draws them together but the choice to commit to one another is the foundation.
None-Christian marriages may very well be all about attraction but this site has the title of Biblical Families.
That may well be true, guys.
But we all know that there are some of us here with lots of actual experience, and knowledge gained from a level of understanding of Scripture, and obedience to YHVH that has blessed our marriages, that is simply NOT ALLOWED any more to be openly discussed here.
That remains not only a tragedy, but a blight. And a blind-spot.
I agree completely. And I'd add the considerations needed for culture and spiritual/religious convictions. Having a wife from a very different cultural situation has been a big learning curve for me. Perhaps @Bartato would agree as he has a wife from a different cultural background(?)
Peter wrote, Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered (1Peter 3:7). There is a lot for women to learn about men and men to learn about women, and some things require learning "on the job" because not all women are the same.
Not every wisdom can be gleaned from books however, we are much further ahead on the wisdom scale when we learn from scripture and godly men. In addition, ordinary life gives experience often with a high tuition cost. Broken souls and broken families happen to the most learned men and women.
I don't need to be marriage teacher same as calculus teacher doesn't need to know graph theory.
I have used advice I saw and it works.
My experience has confirmed words of my teachers.
I refuse such vomiting inducing vision of life. I refuse to die at 35 and wait 50 years for funeral.
Commitment first usually means making acceptable for wife to make me fat as pig and ugly as pig with lipstick. If husband stop being attractive, then he can't leave me is what many women think, not consciously.
I don't think all women are like that, but temptation is there. Best way to defeat competition is by not having one.
And commitment first usually also means making acceptable for wife to start weighting as truck and being supported. C'mon.
I prefer being dead than live in such horror show where such disregard for your partner and children and your health is called commitment.
I desire life and passion and fire. If some of those weaken, do bloody obvious and create them again. Hello.
When I wake up I want to see inspiring body and big smitten eyes.
None of Christian marriages can't escape laws which govern social relationship. Being Christian doesn't make you exception from them.
I just realized.
Sex isn't marriage, that is correct, but sex is what makes marriage different than any other social relationship, therefore is must be basis of marriage. If such cornerstone starts failing, rest of building with follow.
Being “Christian” is to be governed by Yah’s laws, not by societal laws which govern social relationships.
You have a very strange reaction to commitment, which is Biblically expected.
There are natural laws which we must obey. They are totally separate from Yah's laws. Same with social laws.
If I call you moron, will you be happy? No. Proof of social laws.
Regarding commintment, I obviously expect more from relationship than accepting minimum called not leave.
I'm not sure I understand you correctly, so please excuse me if I missed your point. A young woman here recently said she has two priorities in her relationship with her man; "to keep his belly full and his balls empty." She said he is less likely to want to replace her if she always takes care of those two things first. Another woman said she knows that men want sex, so she said she will make sure she gives him the best sex she can.Commitment first usually means making acceptable for wife to make me fat as pig and ugly as pig with lipstick. If husband stop being attractive, then he can't leave me is what many women think, not consciously.
You seem to be dealing with women with a different perspective than the young women around here. Cheers
I don't brag, nor need.
I just watch my trajectory of growth now and expected growth and draw obvious conclusion. It's already similar or somehow faster than average with starting point way worse (details not important, multiple years of horrow show where multiple people close were near mental breakdown).
Anyway, vizualisations are forms of proven performance improvement. Together with expectations of victory they build confidence and morale.
And time I invest in building capabilities and more attention of what exactly to learn are already showing results. I expect to invest way more. Naturally, after fixing more issues I do expect even better results.
Sow more, sow better = great results.
And yes, I'm starting to put myself under regime like world class athletes, so naturally I will finish ahead of most since most won't bother.
It's on instict, not what these ladies say.
Really, it's very easy to take relationship for granted since you have taken care of your relationship/reproduction needs. So why put more energy into relationship?
Even better if you put less effort and get same relationship. Horewer, this requires cooperation of partner which must be willing to destroy his ability to find another partner which won't happen. So you need to destroy their ability of replacing you which means lowering their attractivness.
Honey, I hope you like those special cookies is what wife thinks where after year of very good and too much cookies husband has 10 years too much.
I was warned of this complacency. I had opposite problem.
Can we move this debate to a separate thread?
I nominate the trash can
Last edited:
Sorry Daniel, one moment...
Usually girls are gotten after for wanting to marry handsome men. Why would we want to marry handsome men and then purposefully according to you, try to make them unattractive? That just defeats the point and is counter-intuitive.
Girls who like to cook for their husbands do it because they know men like a few things (women, food and weapons) so the better cook a girl is, the more likely she is to hook a man. If she thinks he will stay for her cooking she probably is either a) thinking that when they both get old and ugly at least he will still love her cooking or b) she wants to be the wife and has grown up expecting that men will just cheat no matter what (whether he is fat, old, ugly, or average.) I have met girls who have thought both ways.
That's because no girl actually wants that
Usually girls are gotten after for wanting to marry handsome men. Why would we want to marry handsome men and then purposefully according to you, try to make them unattractive? That just defeats the point and is counter-intuitive.
Girls who like to cook for their husbands do it because they know men like a few things (women, food and weapons) so the better cook a girl is, the more likely she is to hook a man. If she thinks he will stay for her cooking she probably is either a) thinking that when they both get old and ugly at least he will still love her cooking or b) she wants to be the wife and has grown up expecting that men will just cheat no matter what (whether he is fat, old, ugly, or average.) I have met girls who have thought both ways.