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What is the biblical basis for contraception?

Disclaimer: Because this forum hosts a broad range of people with differing views and many folks aren't even Christians, while I can't limit participation on this thread to sincere, pious believers in the Lord Jesus Christ, I want to declare my target audience from the outset in aiming to solicit other opinions on this.

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This issue of artificial contraception is something I've thought about off and on over the past decade, and I'd like to see where other folks land on this issue.

As someone who has, for the majority of my walk with the Lord, considered himself a Protestant, I find myself considering the sin of Onan and sodomy more broadly as something inherently unfruitful. I can't help but wonder: is coitus interruptus and other forms of contraception a type of sodomy? Or even a type of divorce, if we define divorce as man putting asunder what God has brought together (e.g. divorcing the procreative and unitive aspects of intercourse by using artificial contraception)?

One set of my in-laws were effectively Quiverfull, and this is what originally put me in a headspace to start thinking about this issue. In my life before I knew the Lord, when I lived as a heathen, the pursuit of pleasure was the ultimate goal. It was only according to His mercy that I hadn't fathered dozens of children by the time I finally settled down and got married.

Now that I have the opportunity to pursue plural marriage, I can't help but wonder if this isn't an opportunity to pivot and exalt God as the Sovereign Lord who opens and closes the womb.

In my research about contraception, I was struck by what the Reformers actually taught. Martin Luther called Onan's sin "shameful" and said contraception is "against nature" and "a disgraceful thing." John Calvin, commenting on Genesis 38, wrote that "the Lord will avenge all such frauds" against the procreative purpose of marriage. Heinrich Bullinger stated that "they who use potions or charms that they may not conceive, or that they may bring forth death, are guilty of murder." John Wesley condemned contraception as contrary to God's design. This was the unanimous Protestant position for over three hundred years.

In my research about contraception, it seems even the goalposts around conception have changed post-Lambeth. Life used to be declared as occurring after fertilization, not implantation. Once the point at which life begins was redefined, a lot of modern contraceptives would no longer be considered abortifacients.

The timeline bears this out. The 1930 Lambeth Conference was the first Protestant body to permit contraception, a full thirty years before the Sexual Revolution is typically dated. But widespread acceptance consolidated during the 1950s and 1960s, right as the Pill received FDA approval in 1960. The shift on when life begins followed a similar pattern, moving from fertilization to implantation during the mid-century period. These theological changes did not merely respond to the Sexual Revolution. In many ways, they enabled it.

As my wife learned about how contraception really works, she became troubled by this. It was one of the motivations for a tubal ligation, which honestly might be an even greater sin. While she regrets this decision now, I think she probably only regrets the decision in light of plural marriage becoming more likely, as opposed to a godly sorrow for preferring to choose instead of God when she would get pregnant. This is despite a majority of our children being conceived on contraception. I include this information to make plain my position: while it's easy for God to overrule mankind's puny attempts at asserting procreative autonomy, I'm struggling to see how such resistance would be pleasing to Him.

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TL;DR: If God is sovereign, and we've been commanded to be fruitful and multiply, and He opens and closes the womb, and children are a gift, are we not engaging in sinful unbelief and an unrestrained pursuit of unfruitful pleasure by preventing pregnancies?
 
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I think the whole debate is silly. God was talking to Adam and Eve when he said to be fruitful and multiply. There's no general commandment to so so. He was talking specifically to the only people in the universe who were capable of carrying on the human race.

Personally, I believe the quality and of our parenting is much more important than the quantity of our children. Having too many children can even be irresponsible. We have to be able to properly care for them. It's a big responsibility. I wouldn't put a specific number on it because every family is different, but I've definitely seen families who had an irresponsible number of children.
 
Early in marriage, after our first was born, I realized that breast feeding might not space the babies for me like it did for some. I hated the thought of trying to prevent something as wonderful as a child so I prayed, and asked God to please give me as much time not pregnant as pregnant, please let them be 18 months apart at least. The first baby I miscarried was due 18 months to the day after our second son. Likely because I used the fabric softeners that my mom in law gave me, my hormones got very out of balance after that. After figuring that out, and correcting things we had a daughter, then another miscarriage, then three boys in a row, then a miscarriage, then another girl, then a miscarriage, then we lost triplet boys and then after them...another miscarriage. I always figured another healthy baby would make the losses more bearable..we had another daughter before a final miscarriage. She is going on nine. I have not gotten pregnant again and it's been around 7 years. The only time I remember any trying to avoid children was after I was induced with the triplets. Partly because of the drug I was given and partly because we needed a bit of time otherwise to heal.
I know of no one who would wish their children away. On the other hand I know of many who wish they had more. I am comfortable with the choice we made. At the same time it is deeply personal and I don't judge the choices of others.
 
Early in marriage, after our first was born, I realized that breast feeding might not space the babies for me like it did for some. I hated the thought of trying to prevent something as wonderful as a child so I prayed, and asked God to please give me as much time not pregnant as pregnant, please let them be 18 months apart at least. The first baby I miscarried was due 18 months to the day after our second son. Likely because I used the fabric softeners that my mom in law gave me, my hormones got very out of balance after that. After figuring that out, and correcting things we had a daughter, then another miscarriage, then three boys in a row, then a miscarriage, then another girl, then a miscarriage, then we lost triplet boys and then after them...another miscarriage. I always figured another healthy baby would make the losses more bearable..we had another daughter before a final miscarriage. She is going on nine. I have not gotten pregnant again and it's been around 7 years. The only time I remember any trying to avoid children was after I was induced with the triplets. Partly because of the drug I was given and partly because we needed a bit of time otherwise to heal.
I know of no one who would wish their children away. On the other hand I know of many who wish they had more. I am comfortable with the choice we made. At the same time it is deeply personal and I don't judge the choices of others.

I'm sorry you had to go through all that. Do you think that has anything to do with your positive attitude on plural marriage - because you wanted more children than you were able to have?
 
I'm sorry you had to go through all that. Do you think that has anything to do with your positive attitude on plural marriage - because you wanted more children than you were able to have?
No, I really don't think so. It was a bit hard realizing that was over for me. I had to ask my husband to please stop joking that I might be pregnant. It was easier for me to just not consider it possible. I do love the little ones. I got the privilege of being there and actually catching the two my sisterwife has had. ..and they call me mama too....or now "Mama Joween" in contrast to "My mama" for the 3 year old who certainly knows the difference. I am Addy's mama, but her mama 2.

I thought it would be neat to raise children together with a sisterwife.. her oldest is older than my youngest. God in His wisdom brought the right someone at the right time.
 
I wouldn't put a specific number on it because every family is different, but I've definitely seen families who had an irresponsible number of children.
My husband's mom had 14. One of her daughters used to say her mama had too many...and I would always ask her if she thought her mom should have stopped before her...or after her? That daughter now has 11 of her own. The world record was 69 children for one mother set in the seventeen hundreds.
When you accept the verse that says to "Fear YHWH and guard His commands for this is the whole duty of man" and He told you to teach them His Law...His ways. The responsibilities we have toward our children no longer include paying for secular education.
 
My husband's mom had 14. One of her daughters used to say her mama had too many...and I would always ask her if she thought her mom should have stopped before her...or after her? That daughter now has 11 of her own. The world record was 69 children for one mother set in the seventeen hundreds.
When you accept the verse that says to "Fear YHWH and guard His commands for this is the whole duty of man" and He told you to teach them His Law...His ways. The responsibilities we have toward our children no longer include paying for secular education.

I don't think there's any particular number that's too many, but people need to be ready to provide and care for the children they bring into the world. Some people have larger capacities than others.

The worst offender I know doesn't have what most people would consider a lot of children, but the kids are neglected and they can't afford to provide for them. And they still keep having more when they're already beyond their capacity. I don't think that's what God wants for our families.

At the same time, I have no doubt there are people who capable of caring for 14 kids. I think that's awesome and I envy them. I would love to have more kids if I marry a second time.
 
I'm at an age where I see the pill as a form of murder. If the egg is fertilized and can't embed to live and grow, then a child is being killed.

It's much cleaner than abortion, and abortion is much cleaning than sacrificing a toddler to the flames for Molech, but the result is the same.

Over my life I have expected many women to be on birth control. Whether I made her do it or not, I feel my agreement with it at the time makes me complicit. My wife had two miscarriages really quickly back to back after coming off the pill.

Getting to the question of "If God is sovereign, and we've been commanded to be fruitful and multiply, and He opens and closes the womb, and children are a gift, are we not engaging in sinful unbelief and an unrestrained pursuit of unfruitful pleasure by preventing pregnancies?"

Yes I agree. I think you summarized my feelings well and I can't offer anything more. Sex includes reproduction. If we are using even a condom and there is no pregnancy being stopped at all, then we are acting against Yahweh's design for us. It's rebellion.
 
I'm at an age where I see the pill as a form of murder. If the egg is fertilized and can't embed to live and grow, then a child is being killed.

It's much cleaner than abortion, and abortion is much cleaning than sacrificing a toddler to the flames for Molech, but the result is the same.

Over my life I have expected many women to be on birth control. Whether I made her do it or not, I feel my agreement with it at the time makes me complicit. My wife had two miscarriages really quickly back to back after coming off the pill.

I'm not sure if I agree birth control pills are the same as abortion, but they have such a high risk of causing harm to babies, I don't think it's right to use it. I met a guy once who was born blind because his mom was on birth control. It's not worth the risk. It can cause all kinds of complications if you become pregnant while on taking it.

But I don't think there's anything wrong with preventing pregnancies through natural means. I love kids and I want more, but I don't think it would be responsible for me to have them back to back constantly. I know other people can do it, but our family just doesn't have the ability to do that. We're already stretched thin.

Getting to the question of "If God is sovereign, and we've been commanded to be fruitful and multiply, and He opens and closes the womb, and children are a gift, are we not engaging in sinful unbelief and an unrestrained pursuit of unfruitful pleasure by preventing pregnancies?"

Yes I agree. I think you summarized my feelings well and I can't offer anything more. Sex includes reproduction. If we are using even a condom and there is no pregnancy being stopped at all, then we are acting against Yahweh's design for us. It's rebellion.

We aren't commanded to be fruitful and multiply. Adam and Eve were. This idea has no biblical basis. But I love kids and I encourage everyone to have as many as they can handle! 😀
 
I don't think there's any particular number that's too many, but people need to be ready to provide and care for the children they bring into the world. Some people have larger capacities than others.

The worst offender I know doesn't have what most people would consider a lot of children, but the kids are neglected and they can't afford to provide for them. And they still keep having more when they're already beyond their capacity. I don't think that's what God wants for our families.

At the same time, I have no doubt there are people who capable of caring for 14 kids. I think that's awesome and I envy them. I would love to have more kids if I marry a second time.
Where in the Bible are we told each kid needs his or her own room, their own tv, phone, tablet, laptop, designer lable clothes and shoes, restaurant style meals, etc., etc.?

Some of the families I grew up amongst didn't have beds for each of their kids so the small ones topped-and-tailed. We thought nothing of it as we were barely any better off. Where I live now many families have a mat for each person in the house (hut!) and they sleep on the floor. A typical modest western home is like a palace in comparison to some of the local people's homes I've been in. Contraception is limited here and probably unavailable in the provinces. Families are large, yet the kids play and laugh, and survive quite well. Funny thing is, as the population becomes more affluent more kids are becoming obese, and cases of diabetes is skyrocketing. Personally, I think people could afford to have more kids if they weren’t so materialistic and selfish. Just my $0.02. Shalom
 
Where I live now many families have a mat for each person in the house (hut!) and they sleep on the floor. A typical modest western home is like a palace in comparison to some of the local people's homes I've been in.

We are living so modestly I fear to share the details. Sometimes it feels like third world conditions.

Yet, we have a new second home we are getting close to moving in to. It needs a little more work then that will be done. Our kids are still little and growing with a third on the way.

My children have a blessed life with laughter and games all the time. We have great fun together. We have a strong spiritual life. I own almost twenty sheep (never saw that coming!) a thriving business, I'm able to genuinely help righteous causes all over the nation.

We are building the infrastructure to make shofars, tallit, all kinds of things. Our writing and art businesses are still in motion and we will soon have an office four times the size of what it is now. I'm making money, more than I ever have, the land is paid off. I just bought a fourth vehicle, a big people mover for a future expanded family. I just got up the nerve to charge way more than ever before and still come in at a lower rate than the industry standard. My time is in fierce demand.

We have a plywood floor with a small mattress and almost no electricity. All this is possible BECAUSE of humble living. If I was trying to impress others or had chosen a greedy insecure wife then I would be able to accomplish nothing. It would be fruitless, I would constantly be spending on trivial things.

Now I KNOW I can take care of more family members. It's just a matter of continuing to increase in HEADSHIP and STEWARDSHIP. Those are my frontiers.
 
What would y'all have married women who need birth control for medical reasons do then? Not have sex with her husband?

I don't know much about this. Share more.

Oral contraception came about less than a hundred years ago. Did these medical reasons exist before the advent of the sexual revolution or are they new problems we didn't struggle with before?

Can these problems be tied to pesticides, lifestyle issues, chemical addictions? I hear this argument occasionally and it always comes off as a political emotional bludgeon more than a practical scenario.

You know what? I'll do some of the legwork on this one because "what if I chose to marry a woman who was on oral contraceptives for the verbally expressed purpose of medical issues alone?" How would I overcome this issue:

 
Oral contraception came about less than a hundred years ago. Did these medical reasons exist before the advent of the sexual revolution or are they new problems we didn't struggle with before?
Most women throughout history didn't have the amount of periods that women have today. That's not a bad thing. It's a sign that women today are healthy enough to have periods. Not everything new has to be a result of something devious or unhealthy.
 
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Can these problems be tied to pesticides, lifestyle issues, chemical addictions? I hear this argument occasionally and it always comes off as a political emotional bludgeon more than a practical scenario.
Men do tend to think that way, they're not the ones who deal with it. Like I said before, it's not something fun to share the details of as a woman. Some prefer to likely voice their issues and concerns and leave it at that because they're going to be asked if they've tried "alternatives" by everyone because it's always the first question, and yes a lot of women have, but sometimes defending that requires details that are personal and not fun to discuss.
 
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"In summary, according to multiple references throughout The Physician’s Desk Reference, which articulate the research findings of all the birth control pill manufacturers, there are not one but three mechanisms of birth control pills:

1. inhibiting ovulation (the primary mechanism),

2. thickening the cervical mucus, thereby making it more difficult for sperm to travel to the egg, and

3. thinning and shriveling the lining of the uterus to the point that it is unable or less able to facilitate the implantation of the newly fertilized egg.

The first two mechanisms are contraceptive. The third is abortive."


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"For example, the Food and Drug Administration–approved product information for OCs in the Physicians' Desk Reference states,
Although the primary mechanism of this action is inhibition of ovulation, other alterations include changes in the cervical mucus, which increase the difficulty of sperm entry into the uterus, and changes in the endometrium, which reduce the likelihood of implantation.

"Since there is evidence to support the existence of postfertilization effects and because it is impossible to know in advance which patients would find the potential for this effect objectionable, we believe that the lack of information regarding postfertilization effects in patient information materials about OCs represents a potential failure to provide complete informed consent. Furthermore, if this mechanism of an OC violates the moral requirements of a woman, then failure to disclose this information seriously jeopardizes her autonomy. If information about the mechanism of an OC is deliberately withheld or misstated, then an unethical deception occurs."


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"When breakthrough ovulation occurs, then secondary mechanisms operate to prevent clinically recognized pregnancy. These secondary mechanisms may occur either before or after fertilization. Postfertilization effects would be problematic for some patients, who may desire information about this possibility."


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Don't get me started on IUDs.

 
It reminds me of the spiritual stronghold abortion creates in a woman.

The abortion industry, on the one hand, vehemently denies that babies are babies. They plead innocence of wrongdoing. At least, that's the way it used to be.

Now that argument is over and the abortion industry has publicly acknowledged that it is murder. Leftist comedians mock people for believing otherwise. Witches demand the sacrifice of children in the statehouse as a religious sacrament. California schools teach about the merits of Aztek human sacrifice and how they were just so misunderstood.

The stronghold on women works this way, spiritually. The mother does the unthinkable, coaxed by her peers and the system she has chosen. The action is celebrated. Then when confronted by contradictory information the mother cannot process the data. She has been spiritually blinded. What would it mean, for the remainder of her life, every day, to have in her mind that she chose to be a murderer and was happy about it? This is NOT a state of mind which someone who sees themselves as "a good person" and a victim (certainly never a perpetrator) can accept. This creates an existential threat against the victimhood status of the narcissist.

This potential revelation must, for permanent and always, be now defended against. It would create an accountability too great to mentally survive. So now the mother must find other mothers and convince them to do it too! It must stay good, and positive, and be kept continually as a purpose of celebration.

The spiritual stronghold is powerful. It cannot be gone against. It will generate as much blindness and lack of empathy as required to prevent any threat to it.

At least, that is how it has been. Now in the last five years the tone has shifted. Now they declare on stage before cameras that they are happy murderers and would do it again. And it's good to do it to kids outside the womb too, now they say. The spiritual world is shifting. The evil is taking off the mask. We are going headfirst into Canaanite practices and it is being normalized with haste.

Now ask me how the Bible says that followers of the One True God are supposed to treat murderers and Canaanite child sacrificers.
 
Men do tend to think that way, they're not the ones who deal with it. Like I said before, it's not something fun to share the details of as a woman. Some prefer to likely voice their issues and concerns and leave it at that because they're going to be asked if they've tried "alternatives" by everyone because it's always the first question, and yes a lot of women have, but sometimes defending that requires details that are personal and not fun to discuss.
My grandpa used to help a lot of women with herbs, and even a treatment that manually shifted a "tipped uterus." Also there is a book by Mindy Pelz, Fast Like A Girl with information that has helped many women reverse PCOS and lose weight....and have children. I knew several women before I was even 20 that used hormonal birth control for years, then when they wanted children were unable to conceive. I have pretty much concluded that what is called health care now in the US hospitals and practices of alopathic doctors is more like death care. Drugs for everything, with doctors paid by the manufacturer for how many scrips they write, vaccines....same story. Selective reporting making things like MMR appear to be 100% effective while the insert lists measles as a KNOWN SIDE EFFECT. They do that by counting all "cases" of measles post vaccination as "vaccine reactions" which is true....but also misleading. Children can shed that live virus after too and SPREAD measles. But you are the kook if you'd rather your child GET MEASLES (like my sisterwife's son did as a baby from a vaxed kid) than get the injection.
Motherwort is an herb that can regulate the menses. I have a friend who shared that magnesium deficiency, and vit d deficiency can both make a woman's cycle heavy or painful. My husband has a niece who had an awful time....but only until she had her first child.
 
My grandpa used to help a lot of women with herbs, and even a treatment that manually shifted a "tipped uterus." Also there is a book by Mindy Pelz, Fast Like A Girl with information that has helped many women reverse PCOS and lose weight....and have children. I knew several women before I was even 20 that used hormonal birth control for years, then when they wanted children were unable to conceive. I have pretty much concluded that what is called health care now in the US hospitals and practices of alopathic doctors is more like death care. Drugs for everything, with doctors paid by the manufacturer for how many scrips they write, vaccines....same story. Selective reporting making things like MMR appear to be 100% effective while the insert lists measles as a KNOWN SIDE EFFECT. They do that by counting all "cases" of measles post vaccination as "vaccine reactions" which is true....but also misleading. Children can shed that live virus after too and SPREAD measles. But you are the kook if you'd rather your child GET MEASLES (like my sisterwife's son did as a baby from a vaxed kid) than get the injection.
Motherwort is an herb that can regulate the menses. I have a friend who shared that magnesium deficiency, and vit d deficiency can both make a woman's cycle heavy or painful. My husband has a niece who had an awful time....but only until she had her first child.
I don't necessarily disagree, I wouldn't advocate for women to take pills or very many at that. Alternatives are always better but life doesn't stop while you try to find alternatives that may or may not work. I struggled for years with female issues because I went to male doctors and while I know some women who have had great experience with their male doctors, myself, family and friends have not had good experiences with them taking these sort of issues seriously at all.

I have a friend at the moment who's husband is a doctor, he's one of those who does not just write unneeded prescriptions excessively like most, he's an amazing doctor, who always suggests alternatives and lifestyle changes before medication but guess what? His own wife is on birth control after years of them trying alternatives and not having much success, he actually recommended the type of birth control that my cousin is having great results with.

I've considered it myself recently, because about a year ago I became friends with a neighbor who works for a doctor, he runs one of those alternative clinics. He's helped me feel a lot better overall, I get an IV drip every month as well. One of the reasons I saw him initially was due to the female issues I had slowly making a comeback, well for some reason the natural remedies he had me on made it so much worse, I had to stop those. I still get the IV drips, and the only thing that has helped me with any of this recently is lots of exercise but I still take 3 ibuprofen 800s per month for the pain during "that time."

However, all of my health issues related to this started in my mid 20s, when I was likely the healthiest I've ever been in my entire life, it happens to be the exact age that my mother had her hysterectomy, and my sister had hers from cancer. I was at a healthy weight, playing sports and working 12 hour shifts, and I still couldn't move because of the pain. I don't think these things are as simple and easy to figure out as people make them to be. I've had "christians" tell my friends with endometriosis to "just get pregnant," claiming that would help, and my friends miscarried without ever having taken birth control.
 
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