sister-wife vs. wife-in-law

[Mark C]

Any suggestion is a good as anyone elses, but nah.... "Wife in law" sounds like something has progressed between you and your mother in law. (God forbid!) And now since a mother in law can not be a wife, she must be a "wife in law" ... (shudder!)

Agreed. "Wife-in-law" is just abysmal...especially when one realizes that it attempts to confuse "in-law" with His "Law", when the opposite should be the case!

Which leads me to suggest that, from a grammar and 'style' perspective, to write sister/wife is superior to "sister-wife", even though I'm not fond of the term.

Helpmeet (from the KJV Genesis) is still far better, IMO. It's complimentary to Proverbs 31, and at least sounds somehow more "Biblical" to the clueless...

 

[Anonymous]

Mark, please note that in Genesis it is "help meet", not helpmeet and share with me your observations, please. This is something I feel contributes to the confusion that many have regarding marriage. Interested in your insights.

Thanks,
John

 

[PolyPride]

I think there's some room for compromise here. What if a husband was married to 2 wives who were sisters, couldn't we all just agree that the word for those sisters to call each other would be a sister-wife-in-law?

 

[Mark C]

Mark, please note that in Genesis it is "help meet", not helpmeet and share with me your observations, please.

I submit that it doesn't really matter, John. We're talking about choosing and using a term that simply does NOT (at least preferably) carry a lot of "baggage" in the form of either existing preconceptions, or excessively negative semantic connotation. But it must have enough connection to the language to make sense; better still if it is somehow memorable.

To some extent, in that situation, the observation of Lewis Caroll's Humpty Dumpty is then correct.* Since we are discussing how to best convey meaning in a context which most people do not understand, or even sometimes acknowledge, the question is how to pick a new term so that it imparts the proper understanding...or at least the right "flavor".

And I'll try to spell it in such a way that the new noun means just what I choose it to mean.

Blessings,
Mark


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* From Through the Looking Glass:

""When I use a word it means just what I choose it to mean, nothing more, nothing less..." was Humpty’s scornful response. "The question is," said Humpty Dumpty, "which is to be the master, that’s all".

 

[CecilW]

We're talking about choosing and using a term that simply does NOT (at least preferably) carry a lot of "baggage" in the form of either existing preconceptions, or excessively negative semantic connotation. But it must have enough connection to the language to make sense; better still if it is somehow memorable.

In that case, I submit that "co-wife" might be best of all.

"Sister wife" is well understood in poly circles but can leave others going, "Hunh?"

"Wife-in-law" not only wouldn't feel intuitive for me, but still makes me shudder a bit as well, though if PolyPride really wants to try using it, he certainly has MY blessing.

"Step-wife" might be clear, as the mother of my step-children, but would still need some explaining.

"Co-wife", like "co-worker", seems crystal clear. "How many co-wives do you have?" seems as clear as "How many wives does your husband have?" Maybe even less awkward.

 

[PolyPride]

I think "help meet" sounds too Shakespearian or Elizabethean and may not fit well with modern day culture. I thought "wife-in-law" would be accepted more legally and would be humorous, but maybe not. "Sister-wife" is too Mormonish and sounds a little outdated just as "help meet" does. "Co-wife" sounds good in that it's simple. BestFriendsForever (BFF) sounds good to me also because as Lissa mentions it inspires something positive to attain to.

I don't know if there's a way to reconcile making a word look or sound attractive while at that same time have it be sensible and without conflict with the Bible, but those were my intentions in replacing sister-wife. Just as others have mentioned, everyone has their own taste in these things.