This idea comes up often. Who sinned first or more is a fruitless conversation. Both husbands and wives are given their respective commands and neither command is contingent on the actions of the other. A wife of an unbelieving husband is still commanded to submit to her husband and in this way convert him. Husbands must love and care for their unsubmissive disrespectful wives. Jesus was the Perfect man and people rebel and reject his rule everyday. There is no reason to believe a man could ever be good enough that his wife would not be inclined to be rebellious/irreverent because the nature of mankind is to be rebellious.
On the other hand, as fellow heirs of grace, we should do all we can to make following God as easy as possible for our brothers and sisters. In that vein a man trying to be like Christ will make it easier for his wife to do her part and vice versa. But our sin is on us individually. Thank God for His mercy and forgiveness of sins.
The slant within the church is to entirely blame men for all women's bad behavior.
Both are a problem. Men are the first problem, for their refusal to restrict women. But women are still culpable for their behavior. A marriage to the right man doesn't magically fix a bad woman. They are still the overwhelming culprits in blowing up marriages. Every indication is, given enough sin in her life, she'll be unable to pair bond and highly likely to blow up her relationship; no matter how 'good' the man is.
The divorce rate in the church is only marginally better than the world. Unless you're Amish or similar where the community actually enforces the rules against divorce.
To clarify, my position, is not about blame or who sinned first, it is about
responsibility as men. We, as men, are responsible for the women we choose to be our wives and/or the women ABBA YAH gifts us with. Her behaviour is more than likely a byproduct of her history. That's why a young virgin woman is easier to handle and preferable to many men, but, that doesn't mean that a young virgin woman is perfect either.
Whether a man marries a young virgin woman or a woman who previously was engaged in whoredoms and now has children, our responsibility as men is still exactly the same before YAH, to love her individually and them collectively, as 'Christ' loved the church and gave himself for it.
So, as a man I take full responsibility for the women in my life, and I teach other men to do exactly the same. There is no room to complain to our father in heaven
"...the woman that you gave me...".
I tried it only once and he was not interested in my complaint at all.
I state again, when we, as men, are a man as YAH God made man to be, it allows a woman to become the woman YAH God created her to be.
As men we have to learn how to hold and nurture roses, and be a lapidarist.
...A wicked woman is given as a portion to a wicked man: but a godly woman is given to him that feareth the Lord... Sirach 26
As men I would strongly suggest reading Sirach especially chapters 25 & 26
.