"Poly" makes me cringe

[paterfamilias]

No, I said,


We're all in different situations so will address the topic how it suits at the time. You do you. Shalom

Certainly, I don't see how my shorthand representation was inaccurate. It was not intended to be a quote.
In fact, in person I tend to probably do something not dissimilar to you albeit likely less but not no biblical references. Just have a conversation with them, answer their questions and try to sketch out an image for them. Most come away less scandalized than they might have enjoyed and generally somewhat disappointed at it being just a different kind of marriage rather than something worthy of a tabloid.

 

[paterfamilias]

Ah, bacchanalian sex in ‘70’s exploitation flicks……it was the best of times it was the worst of times.

Lol, he gets my silly banter

 

[Keith Martin]

Ack! You are gonna make me work for it?
View attachment 2645

Pretty much what I had in mind.
My notion with respect to (shudder i hate talking in those terms about real and important issues) branding polygyny is primarily a desire to push back against cultural misperceptions about the perfectly normal families either practicing or wishing to practice a perfectly natural form of marriage but also against the big institutions who do not recognize us.
Amusingly on other social media sites the profile photo is of the Don Quixote in the saddle and charging.

OK, thanks; that's much more clear. You and I are just different parts of the elephant. I never hesitate to expound on plural marriage when it's relevant in a conversation/discussion, but I'll leave it to you and others to take the role of the bats who hit the wind farm blades (my inner imagery of what the net effect of tilting at windmills amounts to). What you're hoping for (creating mass acceptance of biblical polygyny) is certainly laudable, as long as the impression isn't being created that plural marriage is superior to mono marriage. To that extent, I would dispute the meme, because I don't think those two 'pictures' above are the same picture. I would change my mind if you substituted 'acceptability of plural marriage as a legitimate choice' for 'plural marriage,' because I can't agree that plural marriage is the only way to demonstrate masculinity, headship, leadership or resilience.

 

[Bartato]

OK, thanks; that's much more clear. You and I are just different parts of the elephant. I never hesitate to expound on plural marriage when it's relevant in a conversation/discussion, but I'll leave it to you and others to take the role of the bats who hit the wind farm blades (my inner imagery of what the net effect of tilting at windmills amounts to). What you're hoping for (creating mass acceptance of biblical polygyny) is certainly laudable, as long as the impression isn't being created that plural marriage is superior to mono marriage. To that extent, I would dispute the meme, because I don't think those two 'pictures' above are the same picture. I would change my mind if you substituted 'acceptability of plural marriage as a legitimate choice' for 'plural marriage,' because I can't agree that plural marriage is the only way to demonstrate masculinity, headship, leadership or resilience.

masculinity, headship, leadership or resilience

Patriarchy

Patriarchy can be monogynous or polygynous. The existence of polygyny (even if a man chooses not to practice it) supports and enforces patriarchy (the Biblical model).

 

[Bartato]

I like the terms "Biblical marriage" and "Patriarchal marriage"

 

[Brenna]

I am fully aware that most will think I am simply picking nits here but the fact remains that every time I see that term I cringe. It is the bandwagon jumping that the polyamory crowd did a long time ago in rebranding themselves away from the swingers label. I just really dislike the association in the publics mind between the keys in the fishbowl or poly "networ" type and the plural marriage type.
Yeah yeah I know one can grow into the other but it doesn't help the image of the plural marriage set to be painted with the same brush as the hedonisticlly motivated as well as being immediately associated with child brides and abuse in people's minds.

I like the fact that there have been some attempt to show plural marriage in pop culture the last few years and to show that we are somewhat normal people and not fully kookie but I sure would not mind a bit of a rebranding as it were on our end to widen the gap in peoples minds between the different types of poly. The more positive advantages to plural marriage highlighted the better.

I am not sure to go about emphasizing the difference between the two without setting up a site of my own with that specific goal in mind and much as I might like a project where in I can promote plural marriage, I don't know that I have time for it. Maybe if another Mrs Right comes along that would free up some time and we could make it a family project.
Maybe there are more shows or documentaries in the works that help to show us in a positive light. Fingers crossed.


If the mods think there is a better spot for this topic then feel free to move it obviously. Just did not seem to fit comfortably in any of the categories.

Makes sense to me, thank you, I'll be changing my terminology on that point, plural marriage, or, polygyny, biblical marriage, or, patriarchal marriage..

 

[paterfamilias]

Makes sense to me, thank you, I'll be changing my terminology on that point, plural marriage, or, polygyny, biblical marriage, or, patriarchal marriage..

Woo hoo, I have a convert.
Glad that my reasoning made sense.
I like plural marriage the most myself as it is unambiguous and very clear about this is marriage and not some weird thing that needs to be explained.