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Introducing me :)
- Thread starter Brandy
- Start date
I'm not so sure why so many people around here equate sleeping together with marriage; it's certainly not.
Sleeping together without asking permission from the father of the bride is at most theft and at least extreme dishonor to her family and to her: "such a thing should not happen in Israel"; I'm referring loosely to the "church" as Israel since Paul does so.
If this gal was married to someone else and she got a gov't divorce, not a religious divorce, then it was outright adultery to sleep with her.
** edit: to clarify, a religious divorce requires permission from the elders at her congregation. It's amazing how sexual deviancy is tolerated today just to get things under the rug (well it already happened oh well, people throw up their hands with no fear of the L-rd) **
It's the username of one of my wives here, @eshetchayil [a noble wife, woman of valor] though she doesn't feel comfortable on the forums any more. Strange her username seems to not come up either, maybe she was deleted?
Word, I teach the single men in my congregation that it is wrong to pursue a woman who even has a boyfriend.
I'm using Yeshua's method of hedging here (don't even look at another man's woman with lust...) etc.
It's impossible to know if the boyfriend has stolen her, (i.e. violated her sexually because he was not man enough to hold on to his lust and demonstrate his respect for her).
That's a shame, Ish, I would've loved to get to know your wives better
. Just to make it clear, if her profile was deleted, it was because either you or she asked it to be done. She also may have her privacy settings high so she can't be searched.
I don't think it is wrong to pursue a woman who has a boyfriend. It's just something I wouldn't ordinarily recommend, unless she is a former girlfriend, and he is trying to win her back or something on that order. boyfriend/girlfriend "relationships", are by no means permanent, but my son is very respectful of any young lady he has for a girlfriend, and I have never seen him get physical with her.
Thanks Sarah!That's a shame, Ish, I would've loved to get to know your wives better
Probably the high settings thing. I was thinking maybe there was an inactive time limit or something like that as she hasn't been on in years (though I wanted them both to be active as well). Maybe this will change
yes it's just a hedge. I don't teach them it's a sin to pursue another man's girlfriend, just it's unwise ... Your take makes sense to me.
She's still here. @Eshet Chayil
Agreed - marriage is both intent / agreement, and sleeping together. In a secular context, I would consider a decision to become "engaged" and live together long-term to satisfy the intent / agreement requirement, and they're sleeping together, so they're married (or at least it's best to consider them married, if there is to be any disagreement on whether they truly are). On the other hand, engagement alone or being someone's "boyfriend"/"girlfriend", without any of the rest, is neither marriage nor betrothal.
I agree sex alone isn't marriage.
I agree with this as a sensible hedge. I just disagreed with engagement and betrothal being used interchangeably.
Cool! Maybe when the antisemitism dies down here, I can get them both involved again. I think their current maturity in Plural marriage could offer some insights to other gals. I don't want them to be stressed with the current climate here for now. I am glad the account is still active! Thanks for looking it up for me.
I agree, and believe the other women would love to get to know them.
I would also point out that the women tend to chat on ladies chat, not on the forum, so see a very different side of things to what you are focussed on. Even if there are posts on the forum you find offensive, that doesn't mean they will even see them in the parts of the forum they would most likely choose to spend their time in. If I were you I'd encourage them to attend the ladies chat one day and just see what they think. I can't say what that's like as I obviously never attend myself, but by the sound of it they seem to discuss food more than anything else!
I really appreciate having you here in this forum, and the work you do to knock down a lot of that anti-semetic rhetoric I've seen here. That stuff just really turns my stomach.
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One thing I will say, because I am in complete agreement with @IshChayil that the woman SHOULD get married to the man who defiles her, but I don't believe that she IS married to him. While I am not interested in any woman who is sleeping around, I won't hold her past against her, if she has shown herself to have left that lifestyle. Of course, I would have to be concerned about diseases that I wouldn't want to transmit to my wife, but there is a clear difference between a woman who has done things in her past, and a woman who continues to make the same mistakes. I am also mindful of the fact that the pool of women who are willing to consider joining a family, is unfortunately rather small, and I know that I myself am less than perfect, but I want someone who is striving to please our Maker.
Welcome!
Shalom and welcome to the group