Interested in polygyny, but how do I know if I could really live it?

[alwayscurious]

I've been drawn to the idea of polygyny for a while. On vacation recently, I pictured sharing this moment with a husband, a sister-wife, and a bunch of kids, and it felt really warm. But I know a daydream isn't daily life, and I don't want to romanticize it.

For those living it, or who have lived it: how did you know you were ready to pursue it seriously? What surprised you most? And what do you wish you'd tested or talked through beforehand?

I'd love honest answers, including the hard ones. Thanks!

 

[steve]

We are never really ready.
But focus on becoming the best you that you can be. Polygyny will bring out the parts of you that you wouldn’t have thought about working on.

Just know that the enemy of our souls both hates and fears it and will come against you if you are showing any proclivity for doing it in a righteous manner.

 

[frederick]

Hi @alwayscurious, thank you for posting a very important question that everyone needs to honestly consider. Polygyny is marriage, biblically exactly the same as a first marriage; one man united to one woman. The need to consider any marriage is exactly the same; are you ready to be united in a permanent union to this person?

It is most tragic that many enter into marriage with the thought in the back of their minds that says, Hey, I'll give it a try and if it doesn't work out I'll get a divorce! That's wrong. Planning and/or being "open" for failure is not an option. Jesus said, So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate” (Matthew 19:6).

If you can unreservedly commit to the union, you are ready; if you don't want to or can't, then don't! Life is a journey, and walking it in union with another is a wonderful experience. If he has other women for you to walk along side with, you have an opportunity to enjoy it all the more and to share an amazing experience. Start the journey when you are 100% ready to walk to the end, not before. Blessings and Shalom.

 

[alwayscurious]

Hi @alwayscurious, thank you for posting a very important question that everyone needs to honestly consider. Polygyny is marriage, biblically exactly the same as a first marriage; one man united to one woman. The need to consider any marriage is exactly the same; are you ready to be united in a permanent union to this person?

It is most tragic that many enter into marriage with the thought in the back of their minds that says, Hey, I'll give it a try and if it doesn't work out I'll get a divorce! That's wrong. Planning and/or being "open" for failure is not an option. Jesus said, So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate” (Matthew 19:6).

If you can unreservedly commit to the union, you are ready; if you don't want to or can't, then don't! Life is a journey, and walking it in union with another is a wonderful experience. If he has other women for you to walk along side with, you have an opportunity to enjoy it all the more and to share an amazing experience. Start the journey when you are 100% ready to walk to the end, not before. Blessings and Shalom.

Thank you for your thoughtful and thorough response.