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Husband = Idol ??

Oh I idolise Samuel. I do. There are times when he's regretted something he's said in a sermon or something even on here and said he's wrong and I'm like what? How could he be wrong? He's perfect! And he speaks so darn well and with so much wisdom that it's easy to get carried away in it and forget that he can be wrong and he is NOT perfect like Jesus.
And Lord help anyone that says anything critical against my husband lol, I'll remember forever like an elephant. Samuel couldn't care less, but I do.

Actually it's something that I've had to change lately. Because I do see areas where he could improve, and it's OK to see those and accept them, and support him as I can. I also have to realise that he's going to disappoint me, because he's not perfect, and I need to deal with that. It's been a big thing for me, it's been quite a trial believe it or not. But I think coming out the other side it's a good thing, and it makes our relationship stronger in the end.
 
Idol, as in making him your god that you worship instead of the Living God?
 
@FollowingHim2, I'm thinking more specifically making him your idol, above God, rather than "idolizing" him which is a bit different, I think?
@Well loved wife, can you explain more of how he was your idol?
And, yes, @WifeOfHisYouth, I believe that is the definition of idolatry, is it not?

Maybe I should've gone into more detail....

Years ago when I still had a ladies' group to attend, I was cautioned by one lady not to make my husband my idol. I had been talking about submission and of course was met with extreme resistance. That has been in the back of my mind since.

To be completely honest, I listen to sermons and interpret scripture into "the metaphor." When the psalmist says, "Serve the Lord with gladness," my mind instantly replaces "Lord" with "husband." My relationship with my husband is completely parallel to my relationship with God. In fact they started simultaneously. And I put way more effort into being a good wife to my husband than I do to God. Am I literally worshipping him AS God? No, obviously not.

So, again, how does one make their husbands their idols and is it even a thing?
 
I think more women have a problem with thinking too little of their husbands, and not respecting them enough, but can see how it could be a problem at either extreme end.
I expect more damage is done by tearing down men then is done by lifting them too high.
With Sarah being the example given wives to emulate in the new testament I see no reason to qualify when a woman should obey or submit with any exceptions. Abraham asked her to do things that could have resulted in her marriage being broken by adultery with a king, and we don't know if she was aware of Abrahams plans to sacrifice her only child but it is not recorded at any rate.

Her story is found in Genesis so with the bible unwritten she didn't have it as some standard she could use to measure her husband against. She also didn't have a pastor, sunday school teacher, women's bible study or prayer group to influence her thinking causing her to object to her husband's decisions, or even question him.
Men answer to their authority, God almighty. Women answer to their men. God judges hearts so women really cannot lie about their motivation for any action. The verse that states "who are you to judge another man's servant? To his own master he stands or falls" should keep women from stabbing their men in the back. The proverbs 31 wife has her husband's back....it says he can trust her and she will do him good all the days of his life.
Authority means accountability. This means that the wife doesn't need to fear the consequences of obeying her husband with practically no exceptions, as long as it is obedience and not a conspiracy to lie to the holy spirit.
That is what time allows me to write at the moment.
 
I loved him more then God.
I trusted and relied on my husband more then God. I would take my requests to my husband not to God.
My husband did a series on The Family and how the husband was accountable for what went on in the home. It was about that time I realized my actions of submission was to keep him happy with me. I was in need of his devotion and favor. My husband was MINE. I really had to evaluate this heart issue.
Now I’m so grateful to God that I get to take care of, love, serve with, and OBEY this wonderful man.
It was a heart thing for me. I had to choose whom I served- God or man. I serve God by serving and submitting to my man, but my heart is His, my husband is His.
Maybe that is also part of why PM isn’t so heart wrenching anymore?
Now I submit to him heartily as to the Lord, with gladness -I know my heart is right with my God and my husband.
I think there’s something or someone that can be an idol or more important then our relationship with our God. It can even be ourselves, our ideals, our dreams. Funny thing about idols, we can hide them from many people, but God knows.
@windblown when women discourage submission to our husband, take a few seconds and consider who it’s coming from. Is her husband happy? I don’t know how to explain this- how is her home, is it disrespectful, is she talking negatively towards her husband or father wether they’re in the wrong or not?
I’ve seen sweet women who are utterly disrespectful and dishonoring towards there husbands! Just take caution, their motives may be to keep you from being a godly example.
When you said your relationship with your husband is completely parallel to your relationship with God, is very interesting to me. I think that’s about where I’m at. My husband and I are one, how I treat my husband affects my relationship with God. How I serve my God affects my husband. I love and serve both and I’m under both of their covering.
There’s such joy in taking care of my husband.
 
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windblown said:
When the psalmist says, "Serve the Lord with gladness," my mind instantly replaces "Lord" with "husband." My relationship with my husband is completely parallel to my relationship with God. In fact they started simultaneously. And I put way more effort into being a good wife to my husband than I do to God.
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I don’t think this is a wrong view. That is our role as wives and by serving our husbands with gladness we are worshing God in the process. The head of man is God and the head of women is her husband. I don’t think it is wrong to reverence our husbands as long as we don’t get to the point that we think he gives us salvation. By being a good wife, we are in return pleasing the Father.

I think we tend to lose sight by thinking we should be doing more around us (in church programs and such) and forget about the importance of our roles in our homes. If we were taking care of others and failed to do the main task of being a good wife to our husband in the home, and a good mother to our kids we failed at the very thing God has called us to do.
 
Yes your husband can become an idol and its really quite easy for it to happen. For me I would say that I look to Kevin for immediate stuff for example "I'm feeling alot of anger today" he helps me to calm down and figure out the cause of the anger. At that point I turn to G-d for a long term solution. I have a problem with expressing myself in a way that I keep things inside so there are so many feelings that I don't know what is causing me to act out (The other day I was crying and didn't know why through talking with Kevin I came to realize that I was stressing out because my dad was in the hospital and my mom was stuck at home with no way to get there if he got worse) I know that I could easily make an idol out of Kevin by letting him be more important to me than G-d so I make sure that I look to Him as well as my husband.
 
Thank you all for your responses. I have to say that I don't buy the whole "idolatry can be anything" argument based on the fact that the definition for its counterpart "adultery" is soooooo specific. WLW, you gave me much to ponder, thank you. I don't really know where to go from there... All I can do is follow my husband's lead... Although that right there is my dilemma, isn't it....:(
 
Just follow, ask God to show you the error of your ways and if/when He shows you, work on making a course change according to Truth. If you let Him, He will search your heart and give you the strength to do the next thing, if you ask.
So many times I’ve prayed ‘Lord, change my heart or his, shine your lamp on our path’. He gives a peace that passes ALL understanding. Our fears, insecurities, bitterness, and pride can keep that peace outside of our ‘hearts reach’. Following isn’t easy when you can’t see what’s ahead. We all should trust the one we’ve committed our lives to, wether we can see or understand the what is requested of us.
Let me say I’m not a perfect follower, I don’t believe everything my husband does and I have a hard time trusting. My husband’s character and God’s grace has made it easier to walk with my husband wether I understand or have peace concerning the situation.
 
windblown said:
Thank you all for your responses. I have to say that I don't buy the whole "idolatry can be anything" argument based on the fact that the definition for its counterpart "adultery" is soooooo specific. WLW, you gave me much to ponder, thank you. I don't really know where to go from there... All I can do is follow my husband's lead... Although that right there is my dilemma, isn't it....:(
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Do you know why following your husband’s lead is your dilemma? (I don’t need to know-but you do). I had the privilege of taking a walk with a friend and just talking through so much of my insecurities, hurt and distrust issues. She kept asking me why or where are those feelings coming from? Are these feelings, or true of his character? If you can get away from responsibilities for even 30 minutes and pour your heart out to God, it really helps. But don’t stop there-go to your husband and talk through stuff, you two are one.
I can’t tell you how that conversation helped me to see so much of my baggage I had carried from growing up. I had to work hard and unload each issue and be done with them so I could move on to a better unity with my God and my husband as well as my children.
Maybe all we can do for now is follow our husbands, do it, but girls you don’t have to stay there. There becomes a joy when we GET to follow or ‘walk’ with your husband. It will come.
I asked my husband recently ‘how can two walk together if they be not agreed?’ I won’t post his answer for now- but as soon as I said it my mind went to ‘ choose to let my disagreement be a non issue and walk as one in this area’.
I don’t agree with everything he believes or may do, but they’re NON-argument, issues.
However, we discuss them (from time to time), for my clarification, usually. Sometimes letting go of our ‘rights’ as American women is part of the dying to ourselves to be Godly women.
 
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Joleneakamama said:
Given that we are pointed to Sarah as the example of a godly woman we should emulate, what makes you think there is a difference between being a good wife and a good christian?
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Well, that's exactly why I'm asking. :) Maybe it would've been easier if I'd used a poll. It looks like so far there's 2 of you that say "no" and 3 "yes." I wonder what the mens' response would've been...;)
 
Don’t you know by now-all men like to be idolized.:p:rolleyes: Probably like to be treated like a king too. Now there’s a poll.
 
windblown said:
Well, that's exactly why I'm asking. :) Maybe it would've been easier if I'd used a poll. It looks like so far there's 2 of you that say "no" and 3 "yes." I wonder what the mens' response would've been...;)
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Really, it may come down to where the wife’s relationship with her husband and God is at ? Maybe?
 
Wait!!! If they are treated like gods we get to be treated like goddesses. Woohoo I’m in!!:p
Seriously, @FollowingHim2 im very interested in your wisdom and thoughts!!
 
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