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Biblical Headship = Healthy trees?

Stuckinthewoods

New Member
Male
I have been meditating a lot lately on the concept of biblical headship and what exactly it means. God has been speaking to me about it all using the example of, strangely enough, trees. As an arborist, I know trees pretty well, and I feel God often bringing to my mind the concept of "co-dominant stems" as it relates to the family structure.

As trees grow, they will sometimes sprout additional "stems" that begin to compete for dominance. While they are small, this is not a big deal, but everyone who knows much about pruning knows that it is important to "establish the leader/main stem" by pruning away potential co-dominant stems as soon as possible.

Small trees can maintain a number of co-dominant stems for much of their lifespan, but if a tree grows to great size, major problems will enevetably rise. Without a clear leader, the union (that is literaly what it is called, ironicaly, but colloqually, this known as a "crotch" 😅) of the stems will always be a weak point because of the basic anatomy of a tree. It may be fine for a while, but as storms come along later in life, the wind will blow the separate stems around in different directions, further weakening the already compromised union.

What results is a catastrophic mess, as can be seen in the attached photo of my backyard from a few weeks ago. This is exactly what happened to this tree- if you look closely, you can see how one of the co-dominant stems broke off at the base of the union, where compromise is exhibited by the "dirty-looking wood" where the two stems never properly attach together because of their co-dominant nature.

This being said, I believe a picture of biblical headship is the picture of a structurally healthy tree: one where there is a clear "main stem", with clear branches dispersed throughout it to create a beautiful and productive canopy.

Here's the thing: a trunk (stem) by itself is nothing. It cannot photosynthesise, nor draw in water and nutrients from the ground. It is simply a structure to support the components, which are the actual producers of life. It needs the branches and leaves just as the branches and leaves need the structure of the main stem to grow strong and tall and reach toward the sun.

I think you know what I'm getting at, but let me lay it out:

Husbands: We are to be the "main stem", providing structure and stability to the family unit. We must maintain a clear headship, lest we end up like the poor tree in my backyard.
Wives: You are to be the branches: the epicenters of nutrient production of the tree. You take raw components and turn them into something beautiful. The entire organism would starve without you, and would never produce fruit (figuratively, but also literally: children).
The roots are the grounding of the entire organism in the word of God. Without it, the whole tree is compromised in every way.

I believe this is the overall structure of the healthy family, as laid out in Ephesisans 5:

22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. 25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her... 28 In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, 30 because we are members of his body. 31 “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” 32 This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. 33 However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

People seem to love hammering home the "Wives submit to your husbands" part, while neglecting the fact that the passage focuses even more on husbands loving their wives. Keep in mind 1 Corinthians 7:4: For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. We are the same organism with clear roles that, when played out in a healthy way, are a fountain of life.

I believe this also speaks to biblical polygyny as well, how one main man can join with multiple women (per Genesis 2:24). The branches are united to the main stem itself, but therefore have become part of the same organism through their separate union to the same structure. Multiple unions: one organism, through the headship of the main stem.

Ok, enough about trees. Maybe go climb one today and contemplate how your role as a part of an organism needs pruning or support.

God bless, and happy Independence Day!
 

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People seem to love hammering home the "Wives submit to your husbands" part, while neglecting the fact that the passage focuses even more on husbands loving their wives.
Within this forum, you may find people being vocal about wifely submission but that is only in response to the overwhelming vocalization we hear about men ought to love their wives as Christ loved the church. It is just a balancing of the messages...

Should husbands love their wives? Absolutely and that is not simply a feeling, it is reflected in how they treat them. In private as well as in public...

I have advocated for love towards others for years. Towards wives, children, brothers, neighbors and enemies. When I focus on one, people think I am ignoring the other. It is just impossible to focus on all, or it is not a focus.
In broad terms though, yes, show love to all.

I have been meditating a lot lately on the concept of biblical headship and what exactly it means. God has been speaking to me about it all using the example of, strangely enough, trees. As an arborist, I know trees pretty well, and I feel God often bringing to my mind the concept of "co-dominant stems" as it relates to the family structure.
I love the analogy! Thanks for the imagery and the overall thought!!
 
Ummmm, carrying the analogue a bit too far.
It doesn’t differentiate between a man with one wife and monogamy only.
And a tree with only two or three branches isn’t a very full tree. Pretty skimpy.
 
Within this forum, you may find people being vocal about wifely submission but that is only in response to the overwhelming vocalization we hear about men ought to love their wives as Christ loved the church. It is just a balancing of the messages...
Yes, sorry if that came across as pointed to this community, that was not the intent. It's just something that I've heard a lot in my life in general. But on the other side, in this political climate, it's easy for a Christian to focus too much on the "loving" side, without headship/submission side... Hence why I've been contemplating the juxtaposition between the two sides, because in the middle is where I believe "Godly headship" actually falls.
 
Haha- not what I was trying to imply necisarrily, but still funny 😄 Although I know a number of couples that this diagram might actually apply to...
When a limb insists on being the only one.....
..and limiting the tree's potential. I'd say that is a picture with truth communicating impact, as dominating wives are about that attractive!


I liked your post. The other aspect of the strong central leader is that the weight of all the limbs hangs on it. People who disparage that role are usually those who have not benefited from it....or completely lack thankfulness. Trees growing this way are also are more stable as the canopy develops based on sunlight. It's hard to beat the strength and balance of a central leader tree.
 
Yes, sorry if that came across as pointed to this community, that was not the intent. It's just something that I've heard a lot in my life in general. But on the other side, in this political climate, it's easy for a Christian to focus too much on the "loving" side, without headship/submission side... Hence why I've been contemplating the juxtaposition between the two sides, because in the middle is where I believe "Godly headship" actually falls.
James Dobson wrote a book years ago (I’ve grown less fond of James over the years, but that’s beside the point) called “Dare to Discipline”. Some of the general points apply to marriage in that if you truly love your wife and family, you will emphasize submission and accountability for all. It gets lost in modern culture but too much soft soap love has been the ruin of a culture.
 
James Dobson wrote a book years ago (I’ve grown less fond of James over the years, but that’s beside the point) called “Dare to Discipline”. Some of the general points apply to marriage in that if you truly love your wife and family, you will emphasize submission and accountability for all. It gets lost in modern culture but too much soft soap love has been the ruin of a culture.
I want to ❤️ this, but that could send too strong of a message.
Consider this post a double like.

Respecting your wife and your marriage requires “tending” like a garden does. Digging out weeds, bulldozing the landscaping. Too much loving acceptance and you have a royal mess.
 
I have been meditating a lot lately on the concept of biblical headship and what exactly it means. God has been speaking to me about it all using the example of, strangely enough, trees. As an arborist, I know trees pretty well, and I feel God often bringing to my mind the concept of "co-dominant stems" as it relates to the family structure.

As trees grow, they will sometimes sprout additional "stems" that begin to compete for dominance. While they are small, this is not a big deal, but everyone who knows much about pruning knows that it is important to "establish the leader/main stem" by pruning away potential co-dominant stems as soon as possible.

Small trees can maintain a number of co-dominant stems for much of their lifespan, but if a tree grows to great size, major problems will enevetably rise. Without a clear leader, the union (that is literaly what it is called, ironicaly, but colloqually, this known as a "crotch" 😅) of the stems will always be a weak point because of the basic anatomy of a tree. It may be fine for a while, but as storms come along later in life, the wind will blow the separate stems around in different directions, further weakening the already compromised union.

What results is a catastrophic mess, as can be seen in the attached photo of my backyard from a few weeks ago. This is exactly what happened to this tree- if you look closely, you can see how one of the co-dominant stems broke off at the base of the union, where compromise is exhibited by the "dirty-looking wood" where the two stems never properly attach together because of their co-dominant nature.

This being said, I believe a picture of biblical headship is the picture of a structurally healthy tree: one where there is a clear "main stem", with clear branches dispersed throughout it to create a beautiful and productive canopy.

Here's the thing: a trunk (stem) by itself is nothing. It cannot photosynthesise, nor draw in water and nutrients from the ground. It is simply a structure to support the components, which are the actual producers of life. It needs the branches and leaves just as the branches and leaves need the structure of the main stem to grow strong and tall and reach toward the sun.

I think you know what I'm getting at, but let me lay it out:

Husbands: We are to be the "main stem", providing structure and stability to the family unit. We must maintain a clear headship, lest we end up like the poor tree in my backyard.
Wives: You are to be the branches: the epicenters of nutrient production of the tree. You take raw components and turn them into something beautiful. The entire organism would starve without you, and would never produce fruit (figuratively, but also literally: children).
The roots are the grounding of the entire organism in the word of God. Without it, the whole tree is compromised in every way.

I believe this is the overall structure of the healthy family, as laid out in Ephesisans 5:

22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. 25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her... 28 In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, 30 because we are members of his body. 31 “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” 32 This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. 33 However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

People seem to love hammering home the "Wives submit to your husbands" part, while neglecting the fact that the passage focuses even more on husbands loving their wives. Keep in mind 1 Corinthians 7:4: For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. We are the same organism with clear roles that, when played out in a healthy way, are a fountain of life.

I believe this also speaks to biblical polygyny as well, how one main man can join with multiple women (per Genesis 2:24). The branches are united to the main stem itself, but therefore have become part of the same organism through their separate union to the same structure. Multiple unions: one organism, through the headship of the main stem.

Ok, enough about trees. Maybe go climb one today and contemplate how your role as a part of an organism needs pruning or support.

God bless, and happy Independence Day!
Thank you very much for sharing, this helped me understand something God has been trying to explain to me. God bless
 
Within this forum, you may find people being vocal about wifely submission but that is only in response to the overwhelming vocalization we hear about men ought to love their wives as Christ loved the church. It is just a balancing of the messages...

"Wifely submission" is a natural response to the God-Inspired Manly Headship of the husband.

If a man aspires to keeping God at the center of his House then wifely submission is a natural response.

I really don't like putting things on the man all the time but guess what men? God created YOU first. You were created to be leaders and you were created to build your House.

I am so sorry but if your Headship is dependent on a woman's submission then you're not the head of your house, she is.

You have to be the clear and unambiguous Head of your House even if you were to live alone.
 
"Wifely submission" is a natural response to the God-Inspired Manly Headship of the husband.

If a man aspires to keeping God at the center of his House then wifely submission is a natural response.

I really don't like putting things on the man all the time but guess what men? God created YOU first. You were created to be leaders and you were created to build your House.

I am so sorry but if your Headship is dependent on a woman's submission then you're not the head of your house, she is.

You have to be the clear and unambiguous Head of your House even if you were to live alone.
All this is so good. Thanks.
 
During church yesterday, an expansion on this whole concept hit me, but from a different direction:

The tree metaphor that I brought up was clearly in relation to Godly family structure, but as "Christ is the head of the church" (Eph. 5), this metaphor, of course, applies to the context of Christendom. Christ is the main stem of the tree, and we are the branches (John 15:5 much? Duh, I can't believe I didn't think of that before). As the main stem (aka structure and strength of the "organism of the church"), Jesus enables the church, as his individual branches, to be the producers.

Sure, Jesus shows up all the time and brings unbelievers unto himself (Paul, for example, or the many modern Muslims who are encountering Jesus in their dreams- read Tom Doyle if you're curious). Still, as the inheritors of the Earth, WE are the ones that Yahweh is trying to enable to bring Heaven to Earth. Christians on all sides of the fence often neglect the weightiness of this call. We need to step it up!

Also, where does the Old Testament fit into modern Christianity exactly? We all know that Jesus said, "I have not come to abolish the law, but to fulfill it" (Matthew 5:17), but it hit me that most of the stability of a tree is the "dead" inner portions of the "xylem" layer. The "living" layers of the tree are simply the outside of the tree, but without a strong "core" of previously "living-now-dead" material, the tree would simply fold like a giant woody maccaronni noodle.

As Christians, we should not live in the law apart from the gospel. Additionally, we don't live the gospel without the framework of Old Testament law. Christians often seem to sway too hard one way or another, but I believe that walking in the footsteps of Christ means living married to both the Old and New Covenants. (Didn't mean to take that direction but, hey- this is a poly forum after all 😄). But seriously, both the new and old covenants are beautiful: worthy of love, respect, and understanding. Read literally the first Psalm if you need convincing in the power and beauty of the law.

The Old Covenant existed so that the New Covenant could. Just as layers continue to grow on a tree, the latter builds on the former to expand, produce more fruit, and grow closer to the sun.

Ok, I promise I'll get off the tree thing! I'm just excited about what the Lord is teaching me, and I pray it blesses you as well.
 
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