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Advice appreciated

V

Victorious

Member
Real Person
Male
Hi all,
I haven't posted much but enjoy getting on here when I can. Some of you may remember that soon after joining I attended a retreat in MO and immediately separated from my wife and grown children.
Nearly 2 years later I am with a great woman who connects withme and we talk Bible and headship regularly. Best couple years of my life.
Now my first wife, with whom there has been very little communication, is courting me. Yesterday she sent an email professing her love with a link to a song.
I feel that I would greatly benefit with regular direct communication from one or two elders if there are any available. I cannot afford a subscription to man of options or such. I don't connect well on forums lke this. Phone or email would be preferable to me
In my heart it feels like I am asking who has an automobile to donate? I would value direct interaction and accountabiliy on that level.
If you are willing, message me and Ill send my email and phone.
Thank you!
Victorious
 
I’m a bit confused, you need both a vehicle and counsel?
 
Victorious said:
Needing a vehicle was a word picture of how much I would value access to ongoing sound counsel. I realize that the time and energy it takes to guide another is significant, and I do not make such a request lightly.
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Ahh, thank you.
I would be willing to see if I could be of help.
 
Shalom.
What exact help are you looking for? What qualifications are you looking for from your advisors?
 
Victorious said:
Hi all,
I haven't posted much but enjoy getting on here when I can. Some of you may remember that soon after joining I attended a retreat in MO and immediately separated from my wife and grown children.
Nearly 2 years later I am with a great woman who connects withme and we talk Bible and headship regularly. Best couple years of my life.
Now my first wife, with whom there has been very little communication, is courting me. Yesterday she sent an email professing her love with a link to a song.
I feel that I would greatly benefit with regular direct communication from one or two elders if there are any available. I cannot afford a subscription to man of options or such. I don't connect well on forums lke this. Phone or email would be preferable to me
In my heart it feels like I am asking who has an automobile to donate? I would value direct interaction and accountabiliy on that level.
If you are willing, message me and Ill send my email and phone.
Thank you!
Victorious
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I don't see what is problem here.

8f your new wife is poly accepting, then just start sleeping with old.

Old is probably very interested in you. Only potencial issue is old wife accepting of new wife or will she try to destroy marriage with new wife.

Rest of potencial issues are logistic (living together) or communication.
 
MemeFan said:
I don't see what is problem here.
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Really?

MemeFan said:
Old is probably very interested in you.
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Question is why. What changed?

MemeFan said:
Only potencial issue is old wife accepting of new wife or will she try to destroy marriage with new wife.
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Ding ding! That’s the huge problem he’s trying to overcome. Is it jealousy that set in? Is she intent on reclaiming territory? The mind of a woman is an enigma to men.
MemeFan said:
Rest of potencial issues are logistic (living together) or communication.
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Oversimplification to the point of ignorance.
 
Mojo said:
Really?
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We are lacking enough data to be more precise. But world of cause and effect in ruled by power law distribution which means few factor have massive and oversize effect which means it's almost certainly some of those few factors and therefore it's possible to speculate with high degree of confidence.

His tone sound normal. So what situation is probable.

A) Old wife didn't find his enough attractive, decided to find greener pasturea, found out he was way more attractive that she thought, didn't found anyone better and now wants back

B)Psycho who totally destroyed his life, got bored and now wants to do round 2 of destruction, while he is totally blind of whole situation

Probability of situation B is possible, but practically zero, so we can assume it's not happening.

Mojo said:
Question is why. What changed?
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Preselection because he got new wife, missing out previous good life...things like that.

Mojo said:
Ding ding! That’s the huge problem he’s trying to overcome. Is it jealousy that set in? Is she intent on reclaiming territory? The mind of a woman is an enigma to men.
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Either old wifey is willing to share or not. Simple yes/no answer. You are so in your mind and situation is complex, you don't see obvious simplicity.

If old wifey is willing to share, then next issue is logistic. When there is will, there is way.

Mojo said:
Oversimplification to the point of ignorance.
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There is also overcomplication to the point of ignorance. When you look at so much irrelevant factors that you can't see forest from there.
 
Victorious said:
Hi all,
I haven't posted much but enjoy getting on here when I can. Some of you may remember that soon after joining I attended a retreat in MO and immediately separated from my wife and grown children.
Nearly 2 years later I am with a great woman who connects withme and we talk Bible and headship regularly. Best couple years of my life.
Now my first wife, with whom there has been very little communication, is courting me. Yesterday she sent an email professing her love with a link to a song.
I feel that I would greatly benefit with regular direct communication from one or two elders if there are any available. I cannot afford a subscription to man of options or such. I don't connect well on forums lke this. Phone or email would be preferable to me
In my heart it feels like I am asking who has an automobile to donate? I would value direct interaction and accountabiliy on that level.
If you are willing, message me and Ill send my email and phone.
Thank you!
Victorious
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Can you get on the men’s video chat?
 
As long as we are not defining marriage as having gone to bed with someone.
That would be adultery, not marriage.

If she actually committed herself in marriage to another, then yes, she cannot be received back into the marriage.
Someday I will learn more about why that is such a big deal to Yah. I mean, He is the God of second chances, but not on that situation.
 
steve said:
As long as we are not defining marriage as having gone to bed with someone.
That would be adultery, not marriage.

If she actually committed herself in marriage to another, then yes, she cannot be received back into the marriage.
Someday I will learn more about why that is such a big deal to Yah. I mean, He is the God of second chances, but not on that situation.
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I agree with your understanding on what would cross the line and what would not.
 
KayKay66 said:
One thing to think about is if she remarried in the time away. If so, can't go back.
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The OP said he had separated from his wife, not divorced her. Therefore, any sexual relationship she had been involved in would be adultery, so not irreconcilable.
steve said:
As long as we are not defining marriage as having gone to bed with someone.
That would be adultery, not marriage.
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If there had been no divorce, yes, it's adultery plain and simple.
 
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