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Is Monogamy a Key Cause of High Divorce Rates?

That’s an interesting point, but I’d challenge the assumption that only 20% of men historically engaged in polygyny, or that this limited its societal impact.

First, even if only a fraction of men actively practiced polygyny, its availability as a lawful and honored institution shaped the culture as a whole. The possibility of a man receiving another wife, especially a righteous, fruitful man, created natural accountability, healthy female competition, and a safeguard against idolatrous female dominance in the home. That alone preserved marriages better than our modern system does.

Second, the idea that only “wealthy men” could support multiple wives ignores both Scripture and historical examples. Jacob worked 14 years to marry two women. Elkanah had two wives, and Scripture doesn't portray him as a king or nobleman. Many agrarian and covenantal societies normalized polygyny as a practical necessity for productivity, survival, and household dominion. It wasn’t always about luxury, it was about fruitfulness and order.

Monogamy, on the other hand, as a universal mandate creates a bottleneck where high-value men are overburdened and lower-value men are excluded altogether. Meanwhile, women, told they must be the "only one", develop expectations no one man can meet without slowly collapsing under the pressure.

Polygyny may not have been common for all, but neither was successfully sustained monogamy. And if we’re judging systems by their fruit… it’s worth asking which one truly builds nations and households that last.
Thank You, Jason Cook. Good Summary of important aspects Man & Female Together
 
At the heart of the "one woman" pressure is Esau/Edomite Jealousy of the sons & daughters of the tribes of Yacob with the goal of eliminating all the seed of Shem, Abraham, Yacob so that Esau is the King of all the rest of Mankind; And then Esau can say to the King of the Universe "Ha Ha" I am more powerful than You;" while enjoying His plantation of slaves.
 
One "Biblical" argument for one female mate is from a misuse of the Greek word gune (woman & women) which the corrupt Bibles translate as a singular being. On top of that, the use of "One Woman" which really means, UNIFIED females....unified with a [Real Man]; And a Real Man is one who loves & Lives the "Weightier Matters of the Law: Truth, Mercy & Faith. There are 2 kinds of Man, anthropos meaning man faced (Look like a man); And the Real Man, Anner, which comes from a friend of Abraham who overcame the robber kings and rescued many people.
Even in Chinese this word apples to a REAL MAN, only the Chinese say Nanner.

Thus the Real Man from The Song of Solomon chapter 2, when compared with most males is an Apple Tree among the trees of the woods.
 
Eve was created of and for the Man, Apostle Paul said that man was not created for the woman (1 Corinthians 11: 7-9)
In Genesis 3:16 to Eve ..."thy desire is to thy husband, an He rules over thee'
For 10 thousand years of so, females have been the property of the man. If the city was conquered, the female was often taken by another man as His property.
 

We’ve all heard it said that polygyny leads to jealousy, chaos, and broken homes. But what if the truth is the opposite?​



What if the modern obsession with monogamy, especially forced monogamy, has created a fragile, unrealistic expectation of marriage? What if men were never meant to pour every ounce of leadership, provision, emotional connection, and physical energy into one woman, and what if that very burden is why so many burn out and walk away?

Let’s consider:

  • The Bible never commands monogamy.
  • Most of the patriarchs had multiple wives.
  • Monogamy is a Greco-Roman ideal, not a Hebrew one.
  • And the modern West, with its rigid one-man-one-woman model, has the highest divorce rates in history.

Could it be that monogamy isn't sacred, it's just normal in a broken world?
Could it be that polygyny is God's relief valve, His way to expand households, share the burden of womanly workload, and build stable generational families?


Let’s discuss it. Seriously, and Biblically.


—Jason Cook
Jason, you're not only asking the right questions — you're uncovering ancient truths that have been buried by modern religious tradition. The prevailing dismissal of polygyny is based more on Greco-Roman philosophy and Western cultural ideals than on anything God ever commanded or condemned in His Word.

Let’s bring some undeniable biblical facts and spiritual insights to the table:

📖 1. God Never Forbade Polygyny — He Planned His Kingdom Through It
Polygyny is not just “permitted” in Scripture — it’s a major part of how God built His holy people. Consider:

Jacob (Israel) had four wives — Leah, Rachel, Bilhah, and Zilpah — and from those wives came the Twelve Tribes of Israel, the literal foundation of God’s nation.

Abraham, father of the covenant, had children through Sarah, Hagar, and later Keturah — each relationship under God's direction or allowance.

David, a man after God’s own heart, had multiple wives and was still anointed king.

God Himself said:

“I gave you your master’s house and your master’s wives into your arms…”
— 2 Samuel 12:8

Not only was polygyny not condemned, it was used strategically by God to expand families, fulfill promises, and establish His covenant nation.

⚖️ 2. The Torah Regulates Polygyny — It Doesn’t Prohibit It
In fact, God's own Law (the Torah) includes protective regulations for polygynous households:

Exodus 21:10 — If a man takes a second wife, he must not reduce the rights of the first (food, clothing, conjugal).

Deuteronomy 21:15–17 — Inheritance laws assume polygyny, encouraging justice for sons born of different wives.

Deuteronomy 17:17 — Even the warning to kings not to “multiply wives” is about excess and falling into idolatry — not a ban on polygyny itself.

If God was opposed to righteous polygyny, would He write provisions into His eternal Law for how to do it justly? Never.

🧱 3. Monogamy as a “Sacred Norm” Is a Western Invention — Not a Biblical One
You’re exactly right when you say monogamy, especially legalistic exclusivity, is not native to Hebrew culture but was popularized through Greco-Roman influence.

The early Church gradually absorbed Roman customs, which celebrated monogamy for political, aesthetic, and philosophical reasons — not based on Torah or prophetic truth.

By the 4th century, under Constantine's empire, Christian doctrine began to reflect Roman marriage ideals — not biblical covenant practice.

What followed was not holiness, but a shift away from God's established family structure, and — as you pointed out — an explosion of divorce, adultery, and fractured homes.

🕯️ 4. The Modern Church Invokes Shame Where God Shows Favor
What does the modern church say?

“Polygyny causes chaos!”

But would God build His holy kingdom on an institution of chaos?

Let’s be clear:

Jacob’s four wives produced the Chosen People.

Moses’ father Amram had Jochebed and another woman.

Kings, prophets, and warriors operated in righteous polygyny — not condemned for it, but blessed.

And more to the point:

God never says it’s sin.
Churches say it is.
That’s a problem.

👑 5. Think Prophetic: The King's Household Must Be Multiplied, Not Minimized
Why did God allow righteous men to have multiple wives?

Because His Kingdom isn't built on nuclear isolation — it’s built on:

Covenant expansion

Household growth

Legacy through righteous seed

Polygyny, when done justly and lawfully, permits:

Larger, interdependent support systems

Distribution of provision and care

Stronger tribal/family networks across generations

Relief from impossible expectations placed on one spouse to be “everything”

Think of it this way: The "burden of modern monogamy" isn't marriage — it’s isolation in a system that God never prescribed.

💬 6. Paul Never Forbade Polygyny — He Required Marriage for Leaders
You mention 1 Timothy 3:2 — and you’re absolutely right. That Scripture says:

“Let an elder be the husband of one wife…”

This is not a ban on polygyny. It’s a requirement that:

Leaders be faithful, mature, and centered.

A baseline of experience in marriage exists before pastoring God’s people.

Moreover, Paul warned against those who would forbid marriage:

“The Spirit says in the latter times some will… forbid marriage…” — 1 Timothy 4:1–3

Much of today's doctrine has done exactly that — either by rejecting marriage entirely or defining it so narrowly that it opposes God's Word.

🌿 7. The Bride of Messiah Is Made up of Many — One Bridegroom, Many Brides
All throughout the Prophets and Revelation, God's people are the Bride. Not one person — a people.

Yeshua doesn't marry an individual — He marries a nation, a congregation, a prepared remnant. This is spiritual polygyny in imagery — one Groom, many betrothed.

In Matthew 25, the Parable of the Ten Virgins clearly depicts brides — only five of whom are prepared. The message is this:

Many claim the Bridegroom — but only those ready, obedient, and submitted will enter the wedding.

God is not confused about households. He created a multiplying covenant, not a restricted one.

🔥 8. Polygyny Is Not a Curse — It Was Never Called Sin
The argument that polygyny "leads to jealousy and chaos" is a reflection of sinful hearts, unrighteous execution, or modern individual expectations. In itself, it is holy when done righteously.

Jealousy wasn't caused by polygyny — it was exposed by it.

We blame the wrong thing:

We abandon God’s law

Reject His pattern

Call His chosen men "unrighteous"

Twist the fruit of man's rebellion to tarnish God’s design

Meanwhile, monogamy — as practiced today — is producing more adultery, abandonment, and moral confusion than at any other time in history.

✅ In Summary:
Polygyny is not only permitted by God — it was used by Him to form Israel, the priestly nation, and the entire framework of covenant.

God's Word never condemns it. It regulates it with justice.

The modern system of forced monogamy is shaped by Rome, not Torah.

Families are failing because we’ve replaced God’s provision with man’s preference.

The problem is not polygyny — it’s lack of righteousness, and a church that preaches man’s law over God’s.

If we are serious about restoring God's Kingdom, we cannot ignore the very structure He used to build it.

Final Thought:

“Woe to those who call evil good, and good evil…” — Isaiah 5:20
“The one who turns many to righteousness will shine like the stars forever.” — Daniel 12:3

Let’s stop hiding what God made holy.
Let’s stop defending divorce over diligence.
Let’s let God be true — and every man a liar. (Romans 3:4)

If you're ready for this conversation, then you're ready for truth the Church has feared for too long.

Let’s talk. Scripturally. Boldly. Faithfully.

— King Abraham Moses Solomon
Honor. Covenant. Kingdom.
 
I am wondering what previous posters mean by: II Corinthians 11:4. "Following a fake saves nothing."
Monogamy is a fake in light of thousands of years of Human experience. Here is an example that does not fit the idea of Monogamy.... in Numbers 31 where the Israelites destroyed a city and took the females captive. Then Moses told them to kill all the females that had "known" males, and kill all the males including children and take all the " virgin females" for Your selves. Not much doubt that some males got more than 1 virgin gal on top of what female or females he already had.
This story and it's aftermath would make perhaps the most famous or infamous sex movie ever.

Another aspect is Genesis 3:16 To Eve, the female,-The King of His Universe said, "Thou are under Thy Husband's power, and He has Dominion over thee.
On top of that, Eve was made for Adam. The Apostle Paul said females are made for Men (Anners); Those who put Truth, Mercy and Faith First in their lives. Therefore why should Good Men be limited to one female? If the Eagle is caged with chickens and their food, pretty soon the Eagle can no longer fly.
On another note, there are other clues, such as Christ dying so as to marry Israel lawfully; 1 Titus 1:6 "... husband of "one" wife, which really should be husband of unified wifes as one.
Furthermore, 1Corinthians 11: 8 & 9 For the Man is not of the woman (gune), but the woman for the Man(Aner): 9; For the Man is not created for the woman, but the woman for the Man.

The key to the issue, is for females (gunes) to be under a Man (anner) who has patterned Himself after Christ who is our MIghty one Al or El, and our Ah, and our Savior. Further more, the word gune relates to the woman as a garden, and the husband as he who plants, weeds, prunes and otherwise takes care of the garden.
 
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which really should be husband of unified wifes as one.
The word translated  wife, in Titus 1:6, is from γυναικὸς; a genitive feminine singular noun. The translation as wife is legitimate.

The Greek text, μιᾶς γυναικὸς ἀνήρ, translates literally as, of one woman a man. There is no specific Greek word for  wife or  husband. Cheers
 
I am wondering what previous posters mean by: II Corinthians 11:4. "Following a fake saves nothing."
Monogamy is a fake in light of thousands of years of Human experience. Here is an example that does not fit the idea of Monogamy.... in Numbers 31 where the Israelites destroyed a city and took the females captive. Then Moses told them to kill all the females that had "known" males, and kill all the males including children and take all the " virgin females" for Your selves. Not much doubt that some males got more than 1 virgin gal on top of what female or females he already had.
This story and it's aftermath would make perhaps the most famous or infamous sex movie ever.

Another aspect is Genesis 3:16 To Eve, the female,-The King of His Universe said, "Thou are under Thy Husband's power, and He has Dominion over thee.
On top of that, Eve was made for Adam. The Apostle Paul said females are made for Men (Anners); Those who put Truth, Mercy and Faith First in their lives. Therefore why should Good Men be limited to one female? If the Eagle is caged with chickens and their food, pretty soon the Eagle can no longer fly.
On another note, there are other clues, such as Christ dying so as to marry Israel lawfully; 1 Titus 1:6 "... husband of "one" wife, which really should be husband of unified wifes as one.
Furthermore, 1Corinthians 11: 8 & 9 For the Man is not of the woman (gune), but the woman for the Man(Aner): 9; For the Man is not created for the woman, but the woman for the Man.

The key to the issue, is for females (gunes) to be under a Man (anner) who has patterned Himself after Christ who is our MIghty one Al or El, and our Ah, and our Savior. Further more, the word gune relates to the woman as a garden, and the husband as he who plants, weeds, prunes and otherwise takes care of the garden.
What translation are you using?
 
To go back to thread title, here is causal mechanism.

Making divorce easier results in weaking of societal pressure as method of keeping marriage. So to keep marriage alive, it must be internally stronger which means husband must be more attractive than before to keep marriage.

Since monogamy only results in less effort put by husband after securing women and less dread felt by wife since she can't be replaced, end result must be weaker attraction felt by wife throught time.

Just possibilty of new wife would fix both effort by husband and increase wife's interest thanks to preselection.
 
I am wondering what previous posters mean by: II Corinthians 11:4. "Following a fake saves nothing."
Since that was me:

II Corinthians 11:4 is a clear warning by Paul about EXACTLY what happened, and has continued for 17 centuries:

If someone comes to you preaching "another Jesus whom we have not preached," or a "different spirit" or a "different gospel"
...which is EXACTLY what has been done whether it's "another jesus" who "did away with" His own Instruction about marriage, or anything ELSE they claim is "old" and no longer applies...
...Paul correctly warned that he was rightfully concerned that,
"you may well put up with it!"

He nailed it! Following a fake accomplishes nothing.
 
I think the corruption of the human heart is the primary cause of jealousy, chaos, and broken homes.

True faith in, and repentance to Christ, is the only answer to this problem.

Men and women abiding in Christ will build stable loving and God honoring families, whether monogamous, or polygynous.

Ungodly men and women will tend to wreck their families, both monogamous and polygamous.

Having found myself on both sides of this issue as of late, I think that what you’re expressing here is the honest truth. We’re sinners in need of grace of God to be progressively sanctified so that we can increasingly stop acting in sinful and self-destructive ways.
 
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