The last person kicked out of our church was a lady about a hundred years ago, for dancing. But in the last couple of weeks my family and I have managed to accomplish just that. I thought I might post our response to the resolution against us brought before the business meeting. No, it didn't help. But speaking with several members privately about these issues did have the effect of several of the members publicly stating their intention not to be involved with the vote. Ironically, those that refused to vote were the ones that actually agreed to look at the scriptures we suggested. The others refused to look at the Bible at all. One man slammed it shut and said we were using a "polygamist version" (it was an NIV). Another lady said that "that book is garbage". Another said that "that's the problem - you need to get your nose out of the Bible". In the end, I simply lamented that after weeks of meetings, questioning, a visit from our state-level office, namecalling, and rejection, not a single Bible verse was leveled against us. My family and I are very much ok. By reaching out through email and meeting with a few pastors, we have found a place where we can worship together and be welcomed. Some of you more studious individuals might rightly point out where my references could have been better, or are used in a way you wouldn't, but remember this was written for a particular audience I know well. I have to say thanks to BF for making most of these arguments long before I did. So here it is:
To my Church family:
I have read about individuals being kicked out of their churches in the past because of offenses such as playing cards, or dancing, or cursing, or other such things. When any of us hear or read about the way churches were formerly run a century or more ago, we sometimes think that it might be prudent for the church to be as concerned about members behaving in a holy manner as they once were. We also sometimes are amused at the seemingly small offenses that were taken way too seriously in our eyes. Whether these ‘excommunications’, in retrospect, seem justified or not, it is nearly always the case that they are ancient history, relatively speaking. I do not personally know anyone, or know of anyone in this part of the world, that has had church fellowship denied them. “Church Discipline’ has been silent through the sins and debaucheries of many a member. Lying, stealing, and coveting [1] are winked at or ignored, even when the brother or sister is caught red-handed. Divorce, which God specifically says He hates [2], has never stopped a modern church member from being asked to teach Sunday school. Greed [3] isn’t punished, it is envied. Gluttony [4] isn’t discouraged; it is labeled as a glandular problem. Hatred [5] isn’t rejected; it is reserved for the proper political parties. Sloth [6] concerning the kingdom is an expected condition of a mature Christian. Lust [7] is giggled at. Pastors and Deacons may miss the mark on every single item Paul listed to Timothy [8], but if he be a man with a pulse, he can fill the role. Members may not knowingly worship any other gods before Him, but neither do they know Him to whom worship is due, because they do not read His word [9]. Churches may not be covering their light with a bushel basket, but it is only because the lamp was never lit in the first place [10]. Through everything that the modern body of Christ tolerates, the idea of ‘Church Discipline’ has remained a quirk of how things used to be done. An artifact. We might sweep what we can under the rug, but we never pull that rug out from under a sinner. Not anymore, anyway.
Yet now I and my family know firsthand what church discipline is all about. And apparently it is not about sin. I suppose I should cover that first. So then firstly, it should be noted that there is no sin where there is no Law [11]. And there is no Law making polygamy a sin. There are certainly Laws that tell how to do it right [12], but who ever heard of God telling us how to sin the right way? Why would God inspire a Law for something that he supposedly should have and could have simply banned? Polygamy has been practiced by believers the entire history of the world without God ever saying a word against it. Abraham was a polygamist [13] (and not just with Hagar). Jacob was also [14]. Gideon [15], Saul [16], David [17], Solomon [18], Elkanah [19], Esau [20]. This is not an exhaustive list, as the list of Biblical personalities with more than one wife would be very long. And it would include God’s portrayal of Himself [21]. It would also include Jesus’ portrayal of himself [22]. And that’s not just a metaphor; it is Jesus’ very real relationship with his people [23]. Why would God insist over and over that we view him as a sinner fit to be kicked out of his own kingdom? If polygamy is never called sin, and God calls himself a polygamist, then wouldn’t it make more sense to admit that it is not a sin? Or should we deduce that it must really be a sin regardless and God just wasn’t being very careful with his metaphors? What about David, who had many wives and was told by God that it was God himself that gave them to him, and that he would give him more if he asked [24]? Is God in the business of promoting sin? What about King Joash, who in one verse “did what was right in the eyes of the Lord”, and in the following verse is described as taking two wives [25]? What about the Song of Songs, written for Solomon’s 141st wife [26], and preached as a beautiful description of Christ’s love for the church? Why didn’t God inspire that work for Solomon’s first wife only, and reject all others? Why was Hannah not rejected? Why were Rachel, Zilpah, Bilhah, Zipporah, Abigail, Ahinoam, and countless other not-first-wives not rejected by God? It’s not as if God is not willing to identify sinful relationships and call his people out of them [27]. But He never called a man out of polygamy. On the contrary, His Law in a few places demands it [28]! Does God demand His people sin? Some argue that somehow the coming of Christ changes these rules. But God does not change [29], and Jesus did not do away with the Law [30]. He in fact has no problem using polygamy in his own parables about himself [31] and, although He is asked questions about marriage several times, he never once condemns plural marriages even though the practice was widely known in His time, as at all times in Jewish history. Even the very language used by the writers of the New Testament affirms and provides for the existence of polygamy in the churches [32]. Church historians also state that the practice was common.
I understand that polygamy is not a part of American culture. But to recognize something as unusual is a far cry from declaring it a sin. Sin is committed against God alone [33], and God has never condemned anyone for having more than one wife. So why am I and my family judged? Why does my church family condemn me where God does not? I think that part of the issue is a lack of Biblical knowledge. Please do not confuse what the culture around us deems ‘normal’ with the Law of God. The two do not always intersect. To take what the ebb and flow of the American legal system and popular opinion accept or prohibit as being akin to the word of God is to teach for the Laws of God what are really only the traditions of men [34]. Yes, according to American culture, having more than one wife is “bad”. But that has everything to do with a Roman Catholic influence which was itself influenced by pagan Rome. It has nothing to do with the Father or with Christ. Read your Bibles. Especially the many instances in the Old and New Testament where God describes his marriage to his people, and the multiple examples of what the Bible calls marriage. Then look at the state of modern American marriage. You will find that marriage the way it is now practiced looks nothing like what is found in the scriptures, but bears a striking resemblance to the dysfunctional relationships in the mythologies of the Roman gods and goddesses in which it is rooted. If lack of Biblical knowledge is the issue, then look into this yourself. Be like the Bereans that Paul met on his journeys [35]. Take what I say and compare it to what is readily available to you in the scriptures. See if I am telling the truth or not. Don’t act without knowing.
I also think however, that there is more at issue than just this. We have also been told that “it doesn’t matter if it’s Biblical or not”. That, to me, is a shocking statement. I have, in questioning, been chastised several times about “how this will look in the community”. It seems that, whether Biblical knowledge is an issue or not, there are those that wish to break fellowship with us simply because they wish to save face with the world. But to be concerned with being a friend of the world is to be an enemy to God [36]. Would you judge a brother and sister for making you look bad to those that are not a part of the family of God? Doesn’t the world know us by our love for one another [37]? Why are we trying to impress the world? Aren’t we supposed to be following God’s will, not man’s whim [38]? Perhaps you are unconvinced that I am doing what God has willed for me to do, but scripture tells us not to judge a brother when we don’t understand what he is doing, because we are not God that he should be following our will [39]. If the concern of the church is more focused on pleasing the unbelievers around them rather than building up and loving the believers among them, will God be pleased with you? If whether or not a particular action is Biblical or not simply doesn’t matter, then are we anything more than a community center? A country club? If you are worried that fellowship with my family will make you look foolish to those that are perishing, then I urge you to look foolish for me. I would do the same for you. The Word is foolishness to those that are perishing, but we are one body, and one family. And please do not say you love us with your mouth, but reject us with your actions. You could not do that and claim to know what love is [40]. Love and hatred is in action, not in sentiment.
[Some particulars edited out here for privacy] I hope you will take what I say to heart. It wouldn’t be to your benefit to keep my thoughts private [41]. I have great concern for our church because we are lukewarm [42]. We have been lukewarm for a long time now. This applies differently to men and women, to young and old, to new Christians and long-time members. We are complacent, and oftentimes complainers. We are hearers of the Word, but not doers. We rely more on tradition than on reading of the Word. We are concerned more about appearances than about truth. We would like to be entertained more than we would like to be edified. You are lukewarm. And I am afraid that because we are lukewarm, the Lord will spit us out [43]. I think that because we have been lukewarm for so long, God has put us in a position where we do not have that option anymore. If you reject my family, you do so without cause. You do so out of ignorance. You do so out of a concern for your reputation. God will have his answer. But if you do not reject us, then I understand that you will have to run the same gauntlet that I and my family have had to run. There would be questions that you would have to know the answer to, and rude comments, and disgust, and vitriol, and ultimately rejection. You could not be lukewarm and endure those things. You would have to be on fire for God. If you were to do that, then God would have His light in [placename edited for privacy]. But either way, you will not be lukewarm for long. You will either have to be hot, or you will prove to be cold. I would warn you that you are on a dangerous course. God Himself [44] was and is proud to call Himself “the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob”. Jesus repeated this title also [45], in being questioned about marriage no less. Abraham had two wives at one point in his life [46] and at least three later [47]. Isaac only had one wife. Jacob had four [48]. Yet God was not then and is not now ashamed to fellowship with them. He has not and will never reject them. He did not take away their ministry. He did not call their marriages sin. God was not too Holy to fellowship with these men, but are you too holy to have fellowship with my family which is arranged in the same way? Are you more holy than God? Are you more proud? Are you more perfect? He is their God, and He is my God also. Ultimately, the Lord is my defense. I lean on Him and His Word. If you do not do likewise, he will hand you over to those you are so eager to impress [49]. The world. You do not have to believe me, but now I have told you. We have loved our church family, and will continue to do so.
Scripture References
1- Exodus 20:15-17
2- Malachi 2:16
3- Proverbs 21:26
4- Proverbs 23:2
5- 1 John 3:15
6- Matthew 25:26
7- Matthew 5:28
8- 1 Timothy 3:2-7
9- Matthew 22:29
10- Matthew 5:14-16
11- Romans 4:15
12- Exodus 21, Deuteronomy 21
13- Genesis 16:3
14- Genesis 31:17
15- Judges 8:30
16- 2 Samuel 3:7
17- 1 Samuel 25:43
18- 1 Kings 11:3
19- 1 Samuel 1:2
20- Genesis 36:2
21- Jeremiah 3, Ezekiel 23
22- Matthew 25:1-13
23- Ephesians 5:25-32
24- 2 Samuel 12:8
25- 2 Chronicles 24:2-3
26- Song of Songs 6:8-9
27- Ezra 10:11
28- Deuteronomy 25:5-10, Exodus 22:16
29- James 1:17, Malachi 3:6
30- Matthew 5:17-19
31- Matthew 25:1-13
32- 1 Corinthians 7:2, 28
33- Psalm 51:4
34- Mark 7:7-9
35- Acts 17:11
36- James 4:4
37- John 13:35
38- Leviticus 18:4
39- Romans 14:1-12
40- Isaiah 29:13
41- Ezekiel 3:17-19
42- Revelation 3:15
43- Revelation 3:16
44- Exodus 3:6
45- Matthew 22:32
46- Genesis 16:3
47- Genesis 25:1-6
48- Genesis 29:27-28, Genesis 37:2
49- Luke 15:11-16
To my Church family:
I have read about individuals being kicked out of their churches in the past because of offenses such as playing cards, or dancing, or cursing, or other such things. When any of us hear or read about the way churches were formerly run a century or more ago, we sometimes think that it might be prudent for the church to be as concerned about members behaving in a holy manner as they once were. We also sometimes are amused at the seemingly small offenses that were taken way too seriously in our eyes. Whether these ‘excommunications’, in retrospect, seem justified or not, it is nearly always the case that they are ancient history, relatively speaking. I do not personally know anyone, or know of anyone in this part of the world, that has had church fellowship denied them. “Church Discipline’ has been silent through the sins and debaucheries of many a member. Lying, stealing, and coveting [1] are winked at or ignored, even when the brother or sister is caught red-handed. Divorce, which God specifically says He hates [2], has never stopped a modern church member from being asked to teach Sunday school. Greed [3] isn’t punished, it is envied. Gluttony [4] isn’t discouraged; it is labeled as a glandular problem. Hatred [5] isn’t rejected; it is reserved for the proper political parties. Sloth [6] concerning the kingdom is an expected condition of a mature Christian. Lust [7] is giggled at. Pastors and Deacons may miss the mark on every single item Paul listed to Timothy [8], but if he be a man with a pulse, he can fill the role. Members may not knowingly worship any other gods before Him, but neither do they know Him to whom worship is due, because they do not read His word [9]. Churches may not be covering their light with a bushel basket, but it is only because the lamp was never lit in the first place [10]. Through everything that the modern body of Christ tolerates, the idea of ‘Church Discipline’ has remained a quirk of how things used to be done. An artifact. We might sweep what we can under the rug, but we never pull that rug out from under a sinner. Not anymore, anyway.
Yet now I and my family know firsthand what church discipline is all about. And apparently it is not about sin. I suppose I should cover that first. So then firstly, it should be noted that there is no sin where there is no Law [11]. And there is no Law making polygamy a sin. There are certainly Laws that tell how to do it right [12], but who ever heard of God telling us how to sin the right way? Why would God inspire a Law for something that he supposedly should have and could have simply banned? Polygamy has been practiced by believers the entire history of the world without God ever saying a word against it. Abraham was a polygamist [13] (and not just with Hagar). Jacob was also [14]. Gideon [15], Saul [16], David [17], Solomon [18], Elkanah [19], Esau [20]. This is not an exhaustive list, as the list of Biblical personalities with more than one wife would be very long. And it would include God’s portrayal of Himself [21]. It would also include Jesus’ portrayal of himself [22]. And that’s not just a metaphor; it is Jesus’ very real relationship with his people [23]. Why would God insist over and over that we view him as a sinner fit to be kicked out of his own kingdom? If polygamy is never called sin, and God calls himself a polygamist, then wouldn’t it make more sense to admit that it is not a sin? Or should we deduce that it must really be a sin regardless and God just wasn’t being very careful with his metaphors? What about David, who had many wives and was told by God that it was God himself that gave them to him, and that he would give him more if he asked [24]? Is God in the business of promoting sin? What about King Joash, who in one verse “did what was right in the eyes of the Lord”, and in the following verse is described as taking two wives [25]? What about the Song of Songs, written for Solomon’s 141st wife [26], and preached as a beautiful description of Christ’s love for the church? Why didn’t God inspire that work for Solomon’s first wife only, and reject all others? Why was Hannah not rejected? Why were Rachel, Zilpah, Bilhah, Zipporah, Abigail, Ahinoam, and countless other not-first-wives not rejected by God? It’s not as if God is not willing to identify sinful relationships and call his people out of them [27]. But He never called a man out of polygamy. On the contrary, His Law in a few places demands it [28]! Does God demand His people sin? Some argue that somehow the coming of Christ changes these rules. But God does not change [29], and Jesus did not do away with the Law [30]. He in fact has no problem using polygamy in his own parables about himself [31] and, although He is asked questions about marriage several times, he never once condemns plural marriages even though the practice was widely known in His time, as at all times in Jewish history. Even the very language used by the writers of the New Testament affirms and provides for the existence of polygamy in the churches [32]. Church historians also state that the practice was common.
I understand that polygamy is not a part of American culture. But to recognize something as unusual is a far cry from declaring it a sin. Sin is committed against God alone [33], and God has never condemned anyone for having more than one wife. So why am I and my family judged? Why does my church family condemn me where God does not? I think that part of the issue is a lack of Biblical knowledge. Please do not confuse what the culture around us deems ‘normal’ with the Law of God. The two do not always intersect. To take what the ebb and flow of the American legal system and popular opinion accept or prohibit as being akin to the word of God is to teach for the Laws of God what are really only the traditions of men [34]. Yes, according to American culture, having more than one wife is “bad”. But that has everything to do with a Roman Catholic influence which was itself influenced by pagan Rome. It has nothing to do with the Father or with Christ. Read your Bibles. Especially the many instances in the Old and New Testament where God describes his marriage to his people, and the multiple examples of what the Bible calls marriage. Then look at the state of modern American marriage. You will find that marriage the way it is now practiced looks nothing like what is found in the scriptures, but bears a striking resemblance to the dysfunctional relationships in the mythologies of the Roman gods and goddesses in which it is rooted. If lack of Biblical knowledge is the issue, then look into this yourself. Be like the Bereans that Paul met on his journeys [35]. Take what I say and compare it to what is readily available to you in the scriptures. See if I am telling the truth or not. Don’t act without knowing.
I also think however, that there is more at issue than just this. We have also been told that “it doesn’t matter if it’s Biblical or not”. That, to me, is a shocking statement. I have, in questioning, been chastised several times about “how this will look in the community”. It seems that, whether Biblical knowledge is an issue or not, there are those that wish to break fellowship with us simply because they wish to save face with the world. But to be concerned with being a friend of the world is to be an enemy to God [36]. Would you judge a brother and sister for making you look bad to those that are not a part of the family of God? Doesn’t the world know us by our love for one another [37]? Why are we trying to impress the world? Aren’t we supposed to be following God’s will, not man’s whim [38]? Perhaps you are unconvinced that I am doing what God has willed for me to do, but scripture tells us not to judge a brother when we don’t understand what he is doing, because we are not God that he should be following our will [39]. If the concern of the church is more focused on pleasing the unbelievers around them rather than building up and loving the believers among them, will God be pleased with you? If whether or not a particular action is Biblical or not simply doesn’t matter, then are we anything more than a community center? A country club? If you are worried that fellowship with my family will make you look foolish to those that are perishing, then I urge you to look foolish for me. I would do the same for you. The Word is foolishness to those that are perishing, but we are one body, and one family. And please do not say you love us with your mouth, but reject us with your actions. You could not do that and claim to know what love is [40]. Love and hatred is in action, not in sentiment.
[Some particulars edited out here for privacy] I hope you will take what I say to heart. It wouldn’t be to your benefit to keep my thoughts private [41]. I have great concern for our church because we are lukewarm [42]. We have been lukewarm for a long time now. This applies differently to men and women, to young and old, to new Christians and long-time members. We are complacent, and oftentimes complainers. We are hearers of the Word, but not doers. We rely more on tradition than on reading of the Word. We are concerned more about appearances than about truth. We would like to be entertained more than we would like to be edified. You are lukewarm. And I am afraid that because we are lukewarm, the Lord will spit us out [43]. I think that because we have been lukewarm for so long, God has put us in a position where we do not have that option anymore. If you reject my family, you do so without cause. You do so out of ignorance. You do so out of a concern for your reputation. God will have his answer. But if you do not reject us, then I understand that you will have to run the same gauntlet that I and my family have had to run. There would be questions that you would have to know the answer to, and rude comments, and disgust, and vitriol, and ultimately rejection. You could not be lukewarm and endure those things. You would have to be on fire for God. If you were to do that, then God would have His light in [placename edited for privacy]. But either way, you will not be lukewarm for long. You will either have to be hot, or you will prove to be cold. I would warn you that you are on a dangerous course. God Himself [44] was and is proud to call Himself “the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob”. Jesus repeated this title also [45], in being questioned about marriage no less. Abraham had two wives at one point in his life [46] and at least three later [47]. Isaac only had one wife. Jacob had four [48]. Yet God was not then and is not now ashamed to fellowship with them. He has not and will never reject them. He did not take away their ministry. He did not call their marriages sin. God was not too Holy to fellowship with these men, but are you too holy to have fellowship with my family which is arranged in the same way? Are you more holy than God? Are you more proud? Are you more perfect? He is their God, and He is my God also. Ultimately, the Lord is my defense. I lean on Him and His Word. If you do not do likewise, he will hand you over to those you are so eager to impress [49]. The world. You do not have to believe me, but now I have told you. We have loved our church family, and will continue to do so.
Scripture References
1- Exodus 20:15-17
2- Malachi 2:16
3- Proverbs 21:26
4- Proverbs 23:2
5- 1 John 3:15
6- Matthew 25:26
7- Matthew 5:28
8- 1 Timothy 3:2-7
9- Matthew 22:29
10- Matthew 5:14-16
11- Romans 4:15
12- Exodus 21, Deuteronomy 21
13- Genesis 16:3
14- Genesis 31:17
15- Judges 8:30
16- 2 Samuel 3:7
17- 1 Samuel 25:43
18- 1 Kings 11:3
19- 1 Samuel 1:2
20- Genesis 36:2
21- Jeremiah 3, Ezekiel 23
22- Matthew 25:1-13
23- Ephesians 5:25-32
24- 2 Samuel 12:8
25- 2 Chronicles 24:2-3
26- Song of Songs 6:8-9
27- Ezra 10:11
28- Deuteronomy 25:5-10, Exodus 22:16
29- James 1:17, Malachi 3:6
30- Matthew 5:17-19
31- Matthew 25:1-13
32- 1 Corinthians 7:2, 28
33- Psalm 51:4
34- Mark 7:7-9
35- Acts 17:11
36- James 4:4
37- John 13:35
38- Leviticus 18:4
39- Romans 14:1-12
40- Isaiah 29:13
41- Ezekiel 3:17-19
42- Revelation 3:15
43- Revelation 3:16
44- Exodus 3:6
45- Matthew 22:32
46- Genesis 16:3
47- Genesis 25:1-6
48- Genesis 29:27-28, Genesis 37:2
49- Luke 15:11-16
:cross::bible:Blessings to you and your family!