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Welcome from a seeking family in Middle Georgia

domwraith

domwraith

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Greetings. My Wife is the one that keeps bringing up the idea of a "Sister Wife". She loves the support system, female friendship and shared marital duties of having a Sister Wife. I admit to seeing this as a WIN/WIN but wonder if we make it worthwhile for our Sister wife. I do see how it is a real benefit to a single Mom.

Before we got married I told my now wife I wanted 3 or 4 kids but if she was unable to have kids that was OK . The Doctors said No kids for her, but God said 4. We have 2 wonderful kids, girl 8 and boy 4 with an angel baby in heaven.

Four years ago my wife became disabled with limited walking. She finds it difficult to fulfill her marital duties, cooking, cleaning and yes Sex is included. She would be able to sit in her chair and care for an infant by the sister wife, changing diapers aside. She spends most of her day crafting one project or another. She has made it clear that any Sister Wife must be a Crafter :-)

Did God whisper in my ear, "get a sister wife", NO. Do I see his "Fingerprints" in my life leading Us to Plural marriage, Definite YES. I am just trying to figure out how this all works in Day 2 Day terms.

I have seen that PM is a Hot button that can cause people to go up in Flames at the mention of PM. Even Christians that are accepting of others. I was taught that PM is Evil. But you see examples of Godly men in plural marriages all over the Old Testament. Our Lord Jesus may not have spoken in favor of PM , but is it not interesting that I can find No condemnation of PM in my Bible. Whereas Adultery is condemned in about every book of the Bible.

I have faith that if this is truly God's will, he will introduce Us to the woman that will become our Sister wife.

"Coincidence is Coincidence until it becomes clear that it is God's will" A young child (my daughter) totally out of character wakes in the early hours to wake Grandma sleeping in the same room. 'Grandma, I am hungry' Most of Us would say, 'Go Back to Sleep, honey'. Grandma gets up and takes her to the kitchen. Minutes later there is a horrible sound from the bedroom where the ceiling fan fell on the spot occupied by Grandma's head moments earlier. God's Fingerprints, I Believe!

10/06/2012 Update

My wife feels God has given her a ministry however feels that a Sister wife may compromise her message. We will need to see what God brings us. I think God wants Us to have a Sister wife. Ok, I sure could use the help caring for my family.
 
Welcome domwraith, remember Jesus making the parable of ten brides, would he speak of PM in such a positive manner if he did not approve? I am sure you will find support and guidance here on Biblical Families.
 
Welcome to BF from the Pacific Northwest domwraith. I look forward to reading your posts and learning more about you and your family.
 
Greetings and welcome!

The ten virgins is the first thing that comes to my mind as well. A recent post actually addressed this passage and the fact that the original language implies their having been betrothed ....making them fiances of the bridegroom. Most people flame up over PM due to sheer ignorance of original languages, verbal tenses and nuances. Once they study God's word in such a framework, that truth becomes obvious.

Then they just have to get past the personal prejudice that is pounded into us from feminist idiologues. "He has two wives?!? ...That oppressive, greedy, perverted SOB!!!!!" LOL

Keep us updated on your journey. Know that the road before you may not be easy, but there are usually many benefits to taking the road less traveled. God bless.

Will
 
Handling Awkward Questions

I was reading an interesting post by CecilW "Handling Awkward Questions"

I have been wondering about that. Unlike the Brown family on TLC's reality show Sister Wives. NOT going to announce in public that we are polygamist. We are an older couple, late 40's, with children under 10. I am looking for a second wife in her 30's. So to a casual glance you see a young mother with 2 kids and her parents. Which I might just let go by without comment. But listening to the kids call Grandma, Mommy could raise questions. I have thought of referring to my second wife as the Nanny. Which is correct as far as that goes. It will require the input of our Sister Wife.

I would not wish to offend anyone. But our situation may be a little unique. My wife is disabled and entering the "Change". Our relationship, not to embarrass her, has become Platonic. My mother-in-law is 87, my wife may not see the end of this decade (60y.o.). She originally suggested a Sister Wife, to provide a female caregiver for the kids, a wife to provide for me in ways she is no longer able to do and an adult female friend for her. Of course we will provide a ready made family and a sense of belonging to our Sister Wife depending on her needs.

DomWraith
 
Re: Handling Awkward Questions

domwraith said:
I have thought of referring to my second wife as the Nanny. Which is correct as far as that goes. It will require the input of our Sister Wife.

DomWraith
Click to expand...

I can understand your predicament with your young children and family, but perhaps you can look into living in a more liberal area, rather than asking a wife to be closeted? I would not accept that myself and I cannot imagine many women wanting to, it is quite humiliating, especially if you would like children with her. Are you to be an Schwarzenegger and be that man whose Nanny's children look far too much like him? I think it is a bad tactic that would create more gossip and interference than being open may do.

As an unmarried woman, I cannot imagine feeling less a part of a family, less like I belong, if I am asked to be kept a dirty secret. Many women do not have the stamina for that, especially if we have been raised outside of Polygamist communities and not only have a social expectation of monogamy but also a social expectation of being an acknowledged wife, you may be able to convince a woman of the former, but the latter?? Less so. . .

There has also been much understanding of divorced couples who live together (for the sake of the children) but one parent has another committed relationship or has remarried. That is another possibility which would negate the idea of asking your Wife to pretend to be your family's servant.

Bels
 
I agree entirely with Bels on this. You've got to think of the woman's feelings here. At the moment it comes across that you've got your own set plans about how you think this is all going to work out, and you are leaving little room for either God to say "ah, but THIS is MY plan", or your next wife to say "actually, I wouldn't like that".

You've even decided what age you want your second wife to be, but it sounds like you're just looking so haven't found her yet. How do you know what age she will be? How do you know when she will come along? You don't. Only God does.

Focus on being the best husband you can be to the wife you have, while you wait on God. And remember that your next wife will be just as much your wife as your first, deserving just as much respect, and will have emotions just like any woman that you need to lovingly cater for.

The way to present your family to the world will be a lot clearer once the three of you can sit down and pray about it together, you don't need to figure it out now.


On another note, is your wife late 40's or late 60's? Not that it matters much here, you just said two different ages in your last post.
 
I appreciate getting another perspective. As I mentioned, it will require discussion of all parties concerned.

I have never had a Nanny so I admit I see a Nanny as a member of the family and not as a servant (something else, I have no experience with)

Of course a Sister Wife should be treated as a member of the family and not as a servant.

My wife is 46 y.o.. What I said is she has health issues and may not live to see "60", or her daughter graduate school let alone get married. She wants a replacement mother/wife already part of the family and not having to fill the position after the fact.

I have seen Christians "go up in Flames" over Sister Wives. I was brought up that way. However the Bible condemns Adultery, and the most righteous Men in the Bible (disregard the Kings) have more than one wife, I have noticed that polygamy has been condemned for the abuses and excesses. Look at abuses and excesses in Monogamy, maybe we should just eliminate marriage altogether. (bad joke) If Jeffries had been labled a Pediphile rather than Polygamist, no one would blame his lifestyle rather than his being a Pediphile.
 
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