• Biblical Families is not a dating website. It is a forum to discuss issues relating to marriage and the Bible, and to offer guidance and support, not to find a wife. Click here for more information.

Troubled

Evo

Evo

Member
Female
Hello
I'm a little bit bothered by something.
I'm gonna be a second soon.
It was really hard to convince my family, today in Africa people have adopted the western culture and Christianity that doesn't allow polygyny.

People in villages don't care, they still practice it but in the cities not many practice it.
They criticize you and look at you differently.

Some call you a witch, b***, they disrespect you
Some say you you're desperate, you didn't find a suitable man so you taking someone's else husband (which is not true, it's sharing)

People here are really judgemental, they love to talk about people's life.

We got a flat and will shift there, the Landlord hasn't seen him yet. But the day he will see him, he will see the ring and I fear how he's going to consider me after that.
He and his wife will look at me differently. (We're not closed, just that they are there every day as there are works being done on other flats; meaning we will meet on the stairs, corridor....)

My man and I work at the same place. So our colleagues are going to judge us, mostly me.
They will gossip.
How can I fall pregnant, when it will show my colleagues who didn't know about the marriage will know and even if they did know they will gossip more.

I am so respected at work; they consider me as a woman of character and value.

It's really stressing and makes me sad.
But that's what I really want.
How to cope with the way people will be looking at me?
Or what they will say about me?

I would love to hear from you all.
And mostly second, how do you do?
 
I'm a first and only wife, so not the perspective you were seeking advise from, but I hope to offer encouragement.

Evo said:
People here are really judgemental, they love to talk about people's life.
Click to expand...

Sadly, many people only get half of "Live and let live" and don't realize the natural boundries between what is and is not their business.

I realized years ago that the only thing I had to lose was other monogamy minded christians (especially the women) thinking I was like them and treating me like a "normal" wife. That is something I would happily give up to have a sisterwife. For me another loved family member is going to WAAAYYY outweigh the "benefit" (so called and fickle) of those self righteous Christians or humanists acceptance of my moral biblical choice.

I hope you can find the strength to grow your "don't give a darn" a bit. Not because you don't care about those people, but because you catch the vision of being a good example of true christian love as a family, and in the way you handle what the world throws at you.

May you make those that may judge you envious of the family you three build together. :)
 
Sounds exactly the same as in Western countries. Especially the amount of judgement and hate from Christians.

But we're not from this world, are we? We're from a spiritual kingdom, and we serve a king that knows what's best for us, regardless of what others say or think. People will always find something to judge and criticise, from the smallest of things to the largest. This happens in any country, all over the world.

John 15:18-19, “If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first. If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world. That is why the world hates you.

Ephesians 6:12, For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.
 
Joleneakamama said:
I'm a first and only wife, so not the perspective you were seeking advise from, but I hope to offer encouragement.



Sadly, many people only get half of "Live and let live" and don't realize the natural boundries between what is and is not their business.

I realized years ago that the only thing I had to lose was other monogamy minded christians (especially the women) thinking I was like them and treating me like a "normal" wife. That is something I would happily give up to have a sisterwife. For me another loved family member is going to WAAAYYY outweigh the "benefit" (so called and fickle) of those self righteous Christians or humanists acceptance of my moral biblical choice.

I hope you can find the strength to grow your "don't give a darn" a bit. Not because you don't care about those people, but because you catch the vision of being a good example of true christian love as a family, and in the way you handle what the world throws at you.

May you make those that may judge you envious of the family you three build together. :)
Click to expand...

Thank you:)
 
FollowingHim2 said:
Sounds exactly the same as in Western countries. Especially the amount of judgement and hate from Christians.

But we're not from this world, are we? We're from a spiritual kingdom, and we serve a king that knows what's best for us, regardless of what others say or think. People will always find something to judge and criticise, from the smallest of things to the largest. This happens in any country, all over the world.

John 15:18-19, “If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first. If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world. That is why the world hates you.

Ephesians 6:12, For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.
Click to expand...


You are right.
But sometimes it's hard.
It's hard to lose people you're uses to.
This marriage might break some friendship.

To tell you the truth even the family's reaction wasn't good
They even told me if I want to go I can but they will not take the dowry.

They said awful things to me.
Every memeber of the family called me to make me change my mind.
I was really under pressure.

That was on the family's level. What when outsiders will hear about it?
How are they going to treat me at work?
 
I'm sorry about your family. That must be very difficult. We have found that just the mention of PM gets family quite upset, but not our friends. There are Christian friends we haven't told, but secular ones we've told do not care at all. They already think we're different for having 7 children, and for being Christians in the first place, what's one more thing? I think you might find that outside of your family people are really not that concerned at all.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top