Paul,
I will not claim to be the leading authority on this issue, but I do have quite a bit of experience in this area so I will comment. There is a wrong doctrine that is found in many ‘Spirit-filled’ churches today, as I have seen. They say that speaking in tongues is necessary in order to confirm the baptism of the Holy Spirit. This wrong line of thinking came from a man named Smith Wigglesworth, who was called the modern day apostle. He was a very powerful man of God and thousands were saved, healed and many resurrected through him. He lived in the late 1800’s to early 1900’s. One of the things I read in his writings was that he believed that if someone did not speak in tongues, then they did not receive the baptism of the Holy Spirit. Even though he never actually joined the movement, he was the source of the modern Pentecostal movement. Smith Wigglesworth was right about many things, but wrong about this one and the people who followed him picked up this error and have continued to propagate it.
One of the reasons I believe that God did NOT give me the gift of tongues and I did not speak in tongues when I received the baptism of the Holy Spirit, is so that I can speak against this wrong belief. Speaking in tongues is a sure sign of the baptism of the Holy Spirit, but it is not the only sign. Therefore, it is sufficient, but not necessary. I got what people call Holy laughter when I received the baptism of the Holy Spirit. What it felt like to me was when my parents tickled me as a child. It felt as if someone was tickling me and I laughed hysterically as I rolled on the ground. No one was touching me though. A couple of people came and did touch me during the episode and they fell over laughing uncontrollably as well. It was a wonderful experience, but when my throat began to hurt from all the laughing and when I finally managed to say, “I can’t take it anymore.” It stopped immediately. God will never overcome our free will. The people who prayed for me to receive the baptism of the Holy Spirit laid hands on me over and over again trying to ‘impart’ tongues to me, but they never came. These people kept saying over and over to just let it come out and I tried, but nothing happened.
Speaking in tongues is overrated and I believe often done more in the flesh than in the Holy Spirit, (which would support what Mark said about the recordings being played backward not sounding too much like God). There was obviously a problem for the early church as well, which is why Paul wrote what he did on the subject of the spiritual gifts, including tongues. I like to think of I Corinthians chapters 12-14 as a sandwich. Chapter 12 is one slice of bread and describes the gifts of the Holy Spirit, (not to be confused with the ministry gifts from Jesus as laid out in Ephesians chapter 4, though there is some overlap). Chapter 14 is the other slice of bread and outlines the operation of these gifts in the congregation, so that every thing is done in order and unbelievers do not come into the church and see everyone just speaking in tongues and think they are all crazy, etc. However, chapter 13 is the meat and tells of ‘a more excellent way’ than all of this and that is LOVE. You see even if we have all the gifts, but fail to be obedient to God and treat our fellow man, (who is made in His image) with the proper respect; those gifts will do us no good in the end. I believe there are far too many disobedient and carnal ‘tongue-talking’ Christians on the face of the planet. What I like to rather see as evidence of the baptism of the Holy Spirit is a change in a person’s character so that they look more like Jesus.
I will step out on a limb here and say that the people who are going off about tongues with you and your wife are probably not that ‘Christ-like’, otherwise they would not be shoving the thing down your throat so much. My advice is to pray about it. If God wants you to speak in tongues, then He will see to it that you do. However, I would say that it is much more important that you and your family learn to obey God quickly in everything and treat even your enemies with proper respect, but especially be good to the brethren, (which are obedient Christians, not just someone who claims the title and does not do walk the walk). This is love and will profit you much more than any tongues. Tongues have their place and I have seen them operate powerfully, but a lot of what the church does today is not what God originally intended to be done in this area.
I have a teaching on the doctrine of baptisms which covers the baptism of the Holy Spirit that may help. I also cover the gifts in my other teachings, such as ‘Christianity 101’. You can get them off my web site at
http://www.perfectchristian.110mb.com or
http://perfectchristian.hostrator.com, (no www in the last address).
Be blessed,
Dr. Ray