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This weekend's Ladies Retreat

I am with you

p.s. judging from the opposition that the enemy has provided, they ain't just playin tiddly-winks :D
 
It was awesooommmmeeee...............let's do it all again :)

Oh wait.

I need to catch up on some sleep first.........NOT that I was in anyway staying up late talking, you all know me better than that! :lol:
 
Welcome back. Would love to hear how things went.
 
Had a wondreful time.
 
So after the kids went to school this morning I was talking to my husband and telling him how I ended telling the butter dish story at the women's retreat (and I know AliT is reading "butter dish" with an English accent). For those of you that were not there we were discussing how something may not be important to you personally, but it becomes an important detail simply because it is important to the other person.

I went to fix lunch today and there was my butter dish, completely clean and dry and sitting in the cupboard waiting for fresh butter. He took the opportunity to clean it for me when I was at the retreat. What an awesome husband he is.....I love him so much.
 
I had a wonderful time this weekend. Better than I'd ever thought possible! The last year has been terribly difficult for me. I have every reason in the world to be 100% against plural marriage. However, the Lord has brought this truth to light in my life, and there is no turning back now. I have fought too long and too hard for it. I have lost much, but I have also gained much.

I met some amazing ladies this weekend, some for the first time face to face, others not. Some I'd known from online, some I hadn't. I'm grateful for the things they spoke into my life, the things they prayed over me. There are some pretty amazing, strong, beautiful women that have wonderful hearts for the Lord.

Thanks, ladies, for making my first time back in the poly circles most amazing!

A special thanks to JulieB for pushing through the opposition and having "Captivating" be such a huge part of this retreat. It challenged me and made me a better person. Thank you, Julie for speaking into my life the way that you have, and for always loving me, even when I wasn't easy to love!

CB
 
What an awesome time with the ladies! I am continually amazed at how gracious, brave and wise our ladies can be. I am so thankful to each one of them that they took the time and money to show up. It was a true blessing to get to know some new faces and to hear what God had been doing in the hearts of these women for the last year. Thank you to all who prayed for this year's Women's Retreat. I believe it went so well only because of the prayer covering we had. I, especially, want to thank all the ladies who prayed for me as I prepared and shared the things I believed God had put on my heart.

Looking forward to next year already. :)
 
This retreat was hands down, the best one yet, and they have all been awesome! I hitched a ride from ATL down to Orlando with four of the FL crew because I am going to be attending another conference there, so I had the oh-so-valuable opportunity to "debrief" on the way. What we concluded that was one of the best things about this retreat is that it was readily apparent that the women had done some very hard work in the personal growth department in the months since the last women's retreat, and with some, since the general retreats of last year.

There were first timers there, and I was so proud of their transparency.It is scary to open up to a room of strangers, and I was glad they sensed they were safe and could do it. There was much "confess your faults one to another that you may be healed," with a genuineness that was far removed from just dumping, but coupled with a desire to triumph. I was also so proud of the way women responded to the Holy Spirit to step up and pour out as they felt led to do so , and ecstatic about the way women confronted their fears, took risks with each other, and, I think it's safe to say, came away in better shape than the one they were in when they arrived.

Many,many thanks do Julieb for all her hard work, both in her soul and spirit. She indeed nourished us, and, just as importantly, allowed us to give back to her, to me a sign of a healthy body, one in which every joint supplies.

Thanks to all of you for the way you loved me and mine this weekend. May God bless each of you richly. :D
 
I had a wonderful time, too, especially in prayer with everyone, and lingering around the table at mealtimes. We laughed, we cried, and sometimes, we laughed until we cried! And I'll never sell the video I took of how many ladies it takes to check a car's tire pressure; I don't care how much money I'm offered!!! LOL "Behold how good and how pleasant it is for the brethren [and sistren?] to dwell together in unity" (Psalm 133:1) Thank you, ladies, for your encouragement and example in following the Lord Jesus Christ, no matter your location, age, or calling.

Kelly
 
Thinking about how important these retreats are...and wondering if anyone else would think it is weird if a man asked/required his wife and any "he wants her to be wife" to attend one of these....
 
Hi All,

I must say, it was a challenge to even get to the ladies retreat! The enemy really came against me, and I know others too, to NOT make it to the retreat...but, praise the Lord that we prevailed and had our socks blown off at all the Lord did during the retreat.

Last year, I could hardly stay in the room during the meetings, and some I actually was unable to attend due to the attacks of the enemy against me. The sensitivity and anxiety were more than I could handle. Why? Well, as our dear carolinabutterfly so honestly said in her post...(paraphrased)...I, too, have been "four-square against" (a term I steal from the movie Benny & Joon) polygamy! Yet, here I am! I, too, could never allow the enemy to steal the truth in the Word that plural marriage is Biblical. The Lord God Almighty had mercy and grace upon me and sent me to a loving, safe family who love me dearly. Their love and the Lord's mighty hand has moved upon my heart and spirit and have renewed my faith and trust that Biblical Plural Marriage can be done right and righteously! I am not the same person I was last year...

The ladies at the retreat spoke such sweetness and truth to me about who I really am and the changes they have seen in me since last year. I found myself shaking my head back and forth saying "no...it can't be"...I could not see it because I still feel the battles inside. They helped me so much to see that even though I still fight the anxiety and fear that I HAVE changed. My dear sisterwife, Ali (AKA Gator, which believe it or not, no one ever came up with before, which I find baffling and hilarious and oh so special to me) listed off rapidly all the precious things she sees in me and the talents and gifts she sees in me. After each one, she "made" me answer with a "yes" or "no" with that anointed authority in the Lord she gets (I'm sure you all have seen what I'm talking about!). I had to tell the truth and admit to a "yes" to each thing she listed and tears fell down my cheeks. Along with all of the things the ladies listed off too, I was touched very deeply im my heart and spirit. I love my sisterwife beyond words and the closeness and love I felt from the ladies was breathtaking. You had to be there to really see and understand the sweetness and love that was present in the Holy Spirit!

I have attended many retreats that go back way before BiblicalFamilies with the Benders, and believe me, this retreat was by far the best I ever had the privalege to attend. I so look forward to the next ladies retreat to reunite in a beautiful and precious communion with my dear BiblicalFamilies ladies!

I also thank Julie for all she did and went through to provide the enviornment and leadership that opened the door to profound experieces between all the ladies and all the Lord was able to do. I think we are going to see much, much more results in the days to come in the women's lives that attended the retreat. The Lord only began to change us there....it was a fire that started and will spread within our lives because of the depths that "Captivating" reached us all. I am only half way through the book at this time, but on a daily basis, God is changing me for His glory! I praise the Lord for all He did and is doing in our community of women!

I have more to share with you all...what God was able to do in me...so hold on to your hats when I post the depths of fortitude I have chosen to hold onto against the enemy that has raged against me to try to make me run screaming from poly! It has been a long time coming and very, very difficult, but has reaped glorious results!

Love you all!
Deborah
 
Paul not the apostle said:
Thinking about how important these retreats are...and wondering if anyone else would think it is weird if a man asked/required his wife and any "he wants her to be wife" to attend one of these....
Click to expand...
how about "strongly encourage" their significant and semi/soon-to-be significant others?
to be honest, deborah was under such attack that she was not sure that she could handle going. if I would have pushed her she would not have gone. period!

to me the "forsake not the gathering together" admonition applies strongly for those who embrace poly in any way. I think that it is essential for the gals to receive the mutual support that they give each other. we live in a society in which they are very alone in their beliefs, many having lost relationships with close friends and family members.
not to mention that the growth that they are experiencing is wonderful whether they are in poly or not. :)
 
to be honest, deborah was under such attack that she was not sure that she could handle going. if I would have pushed her she would not have gone. period!
Click to expand...

What my beloved husband said here is true. I was having a struggle to the death inside myself over Captivating. That book has turned me inside out and back again! It has been hard to read from the very first page. I have gone through a lot of abuse in my life, and it brought pain and anger up in me in ways I really could not discern. That alone was frustrating because I could not identify the depths of where it all was coming from. It has exposed things in me that I had put in a coffin, boarded and nailed with railroad stakes, and buried way beyond six-foot under! I thought I was safe by doing that, but Captivating promptly dug it up and put it in my face quite rudely, and I was seriously angry about that. But, I also knew in my spirit that the Lord had a deep purpose for doing so, and even though my first and repeated thought was to take a blow torch to the book, I chose to continue reading it. Problem was that I really did not know if I could handle going to the retreat and facing anything that was discussed about Captivating. I really didn't know if I could hold together, and I did not want to have a melt down in front of all the ladies.

If Steven would have pushed me or even remotely manipulated me at any time during the midst of the fight-to-the-death I was experiencing, I would not have gone. It would have been such an easy distraction to shift my focus onto him pushing me and get angry with him instead of dealing with my own pain at that point. I would have harden my heart against going to the retreat in a heartbeat, because, believe me, I was looking for an out I could justify. Obviously, that brought up another problem the Lord reminded me about. Within the month I started reading Captivating, I told Steven that the Lord revealed to me I had an oppositional spirit I needed to get deliverance of (which, by the way, was dealt with at the retreat and I am currently overcoming). Thankfully, he never used that tid bit of information against me to push or manipulate me into going to the retreat...that would have been a big no-no to me. He dealt with me in the knowledge of who I am am and who he knows I want to become in the Lord. He gave me the space I needed to find my way, and he encouraged me to seek the Lord to find out what He wanted me to do about going. He told me it was up to me whether I went or not, but he encouraged me not to let the enemy cause me to miss out on all the Lord had planned for retreat.

I am so very appreciative of how he handled the situation with me. His love and sensitivity to me and the encourangement he gave me to hear from the Lord and follow what He wanted me to do was a huge part of why I did go. This is just one more reason (among a zillion others) why I am so head-over-heels, hopefully and madly in love with my husband! Thank you Steven! I adore you!

Love you all,
Deborah
 
This is an excellent illustration of the need for a husband to sensitively and carefully deal with his wife in the right way for her individually. I would consider it perfectly acceptable for a husband to require his wife to attend a retreat or do anything that would be to her benefit, but only if this is something that would be appropriate for her. This could be completely counterproductive for some, as Deborah has illustrated. In this case Steve treated her lovingly in the way that was appropriate for and appreciated by her. Every woman is different, and a man must know his wife (or wives) well, and understand the reasons why they might be reluctant to attend a retreat (or do anything else that would be beneficial for that matter).

A woman who does not wish to attend because she is dealing with complex emotional issues, is more likely to perceive a requirement negatively, as a personal attack, an added complication on top of what she's already dealing with, that would make her less likely to comply and would strain the relationship with her husband.

On the other hand, a woman who did not wish to attend simply because she was shy, or didn't want that money spent on herself, may perceive a requirement to attend as exactly the gentle nudge she needs to combat her fears and actually walk through the door, and may greatly appreciate it, at least afterwards.

KNOW and LOVE your wife! She may be completely different to Deborah - but she might be very similar also.
 
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