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Teen Rebellion?

Obedient Christian girl

Obedient Christian girl

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Female
My father and I have been in disagreement for a few months now. I want to go to school for a midwife course but he'd like me to settle down before I go taking any courses or at the very least be engaged.
His reasoning for me waiting is that I'll want to quit the moment I get engaged, which isn't true. I don't have a history of quitting things once I get bored with them, I always see them to the end. Should I listen to him? Midwifery is an important skill for a woman at any stage in her life, then again he might just not want me to waste my money.
 
Obedient Christian girl said:
I want to go to school for a midwife course but he'd like me to settle down before I go taking any courses or at the very least be engaged.
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That is a strange suggestion, because once married you'd be unlikely to take any such courses, as you'd most likely start raising a family and become too busy for such studies. And once you've got newborns of your own, the hours just don't work for midwifery. Midwives are either young (before having their own children), or middle-aged (and finished breeding). You'd then get around to studying midwifery in 20 years time, once the children were older, if you were still interested. Are you sure you actually understand what your father is saying, or why he is saying it?

It's more likely he wants you not to study midwifery right now for reasons that you fail to understand. Listen to your father, and get clarification on what his actual reasons are for saying what he's saying.
 
FollowingHim said:
That is a strange suggestion, because once married you'd be unlikely to take any such courses, as you'd most likely start raising a family and become too busy for such studies. And once you've got newborns of your own, the hours just don't work for midwifery. Midwives are either young (before having their own children), or middle-aged (and finished breeding). You'd then get around to studying midwifery in 20 years time, once the children were older, if you were still interested. Are you sure you actually understand what your father is saying, or why he is saying it?

It's more likely he wants you not to study midwifery right now for reasons that you fail to understand. Listen to your father, and get clarification on what his actual reasons are for saying what he's saying.
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That’s an excellent point @FollowingHim , often times things like this are simply a misunderstanding. Communication is key.
 
I’m scratching my head over the change between “I obey my parents wishes first and foremost as they have my best interests at heart.” and this post.
 
@FollowingHim is probably correct about who generally performs as midwifes, but I personally know a number of exceptions. One of my very best friends when I lived in Nacogdoches was a woman who began her midwifery just before starting her own motherhood on the way to having 9 children -- but never stopped being a midwife. In one instance, she assisted with a home birth just hours before having one of her own children -- in the house of the earlier birth.

On the other hand, following the lead of your father is your most profound practice for following the lead of your husband. If you expect any suitor to first seek the approval of your father to court you, aren't you being inconsistent, as @steve suggests, when you consider going against your father's wishes for you but expect your future husband to obey your father's wishes?
 
FollowingHim said:
That is a strange suggestion, because once married you'd be unlikely to take any such courses, as you'd most likely start raising a family and become too busy for such studies. And once you've got newborns of your own, the hours just don't work for midwifery. Midwives are either young (before having their own children), or middle-aged (and finished breeding). You'd then get around to studying midwifery in 20 years time, once the children were older, if you were still interested. Are you sure you actually understand what your father is saying, or why he is saying it?

It's more likely he wants you not to study midwifery right now for reasons that you fail to understand. Listen to your father, and get clarification on what his actual reasons are for saying what he's saying.
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I just think he doesn't want to pay for it, haha. Otherwise he wouldn't care.
 
Obedient Christian girl said:
I just think he doesn't want to pay for it, haha. Otherwise he wouldn't care.
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Then that right there is a very good reason not to do it.

If neither he nor you can afford it, then you'd have to go into debt to study it, and the last thing you should ever do is start adult life with an enormous debt. Just because everyone else is jumping off the cliff doesn't mean you have to also. This is why parents are worth paying attention to.

He might be making other excuses because he thinks you'd take the real reason as an insult ("you don't love me enough to spend money you can't afford on me"), and he doesn't want to damage your relationship, so he's trying to come up with another reason you'd find more palatable.
 
FollowingHim said:
If neither he nor you can afford it, then you'd have to go into debt to study it, and the last thing you should ever do is start adult life with an enormous debt. Just because everyone else is jumping off the cliff doesn't mean you have to also. This is why parents are worth paying attention to.
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Also don't run off and join the military..as great as the GI Bill is...It's not exactly worth it in my opinion (I know from experience).
 
I believe To disagree with your father is not disobedience.
In disagreeing you are proving how important things are to you or not, or if you have real reasons or it’s a fleeting fantasy.
Sometimes you can negotiate for a different outcome.
Some have done this with God and swayed his mind.
In my house I encourage free thought, some disagreement and the discussion that follows.
My 16 year daughter old will openly disagree with me, and I encourage it. I’m thankful for it.
She has a mind of her own and I expect she will be a great asset as a wife / mother one day.
I am willing to admit I don’t know everything.( most of the time). She will often bring new information to the table that will inform any decision made. But when it’s important I will have the last say.
I don’t want her to hang on my every word. I want her to understand how to think for herself and make good decisions.
The world I grew up in was very different than the world we are in now, some things have changed dramatically.
It’s foolish not to use all of the resources in front of you for the best outcome.
 
Obedient Christian girl said:
I just think he doesn't want to pay for it, haha. Otherwise he wouldn't care.
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If it’s something you want to do for your future, have you suggested paying for it yourself? Working to pay for it while putting yourself through the requirements would lessen the financial burden to him. Win win
 
Midwifery is a good occupation, and one you don't necessarily have to take classes for. You can often find one to apprentice under, there are many midwives in WI.

You should however to listen to your father, even if you don't understand or agree. He may well have a better understanding of the wisdom of following that path. It's a good idea to settle down first, that should be your first priority in life. Your husband may not want you in that profession. And if you go into debt to pursue it you're likely to loose many prospects for a husband.

But having newborns of your own isn't necessarily an impediment to being a midwife, esp. if you're in a plural marriage. Many hands make light work. Though the only young midwife I've known did quit when she got married. But neither did she have help around the house.
 
We are raised to follow the Bible. My question to you is what does the Bible say about following your parents direction. It seems to be very cut and dry. Your father is giving you a direction he wants you to take. You are suppose to obey your parents and also he is not taking you away from God is he. Is your father Godly and you want a Godly man this choice of arguing with your father are you planting a seed to argue or disagree with your husband in the future. Your current actions you take now will determine who and how you act when you meet the one or ones I hope I am making sense
 
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