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Surrendering to YHWH: Following Torah, losing friends, strained family relationships and poly...

Mrs. Pacman

Mrs. Pacman

Member
Real Person
Female
I have not been in the forum much since joining because I much rather talk to ladies in person and build friendships that way. However, I am finding myself not able to confide in those who have been my friends since we began following Torah. My mother is my best friend and we have a close relationship, however my parents strongly disagree with us following Torah. They belong to an independent Baptist church where they are heavily involved and they think we are very wrong.
I don't really know where to start, but yesterday Pacman forwarded me a post talking about Karin getting healed from her knee problems. I have a lot of health issues and I have been seeking and praying for healing in my own life. But I do not feel like I've had an answer from the Father concerning my health. And it's been many years of going in circles trying to find the answer. So after reading that post it got me thinking, and I talked with my husband about it last night. And I realized that in my own life I haven't fully surrendered to following what the Father might have for my life. I hadn't been fully surrendered to the fact that He might lead my husband to take an additional wife someday. I want to have the heart that is surrendered if the Father does not call my husband to do that or be surrendered if that is YHWH's will for our lives. I feel like I've been holding on to it and just ignoring it. But I know that that is not a heart of surrender.
Then there's the other part of our lives, it's so hard for me to deal with the fear of losing dear friends that our kids have grown up together, and it's really hard to emotionally handle how it's going to feel when everybody finds out we follow Torah. How do you start all over? My family relationships are changed because of following Torah. It seems as if my whole life has been turned upside down. When I look back over my life it just seems like I've had such a happy life, and now everything's being turned upside down. I know that's not what Yahweh wants, I know He wants the best for me. Do any of you have experience that you can you share your thoughts and things that might help me through this and I would appreciate your prayers as I desire to live out God's will for my life. So all in all, I realized that Yahweh might not be bringing healing in my life, because I haven't surrendered over to him and these areas of my life that I need to get right. I've just been living in fear and I'm so overwhelmed by everything going on in our lives.
I'm sure you ladies understand, that all of these very emotional issues piled on top of taking care of my children, homeschooling and then wrapping up our homeschool year too! It just has me feeling completely overwhelmed.
Thank you!
 
Life is not for the faint of heart!

I have usually enjoyed good health, rarely ever get sick. Had a challenging couple weeks lately.
I was thinking about Karin's healing too.

What I remember about women getting healed in the bible was that when they were they rose up and ministered to people. I expect that was preparing food and such.

I do best one on one at building friendships too.

As I understand it, the only thing we can give our Father in heaven is our will. Everything else is already His.

I can sure relate to your post, and understand the difficulties that division over beliefs can bring.

Thanks for sharing you situation. If there is anything I can do in addition to praying please let me know.
 
Mrs. Pacman said:
I have not been in the forum much since joining because I much rather talk to ladies in person and build friendships that way. However, I am finding myself not able to confide in those who have been my friends since we began following Torah. My mother is my best friend and we have a close relationship, however my parents strongly disagree with us following Torah. They belong to an independent Baptist church where they are heavily involved and they think we are very wrong.
I don't really know where to start, but yesterday Pacman forwarded me a post talking about Karin getting healed from her knee problems. I have a lot of health issues and I have been seeking and praying for healing in my own life. But I do not feel like I've had an answer from the Father concerning my health. And it's been many years of going in circles trying to find the answer. So after reading that post it got me thinking, and I talked with my husband about it last night. And I realized that in my own life I haven't fully surrendered to following what the Father might have for my life. I hadn't been fully surrendered to the fact that He might lead my husband to take an additional wife someday. I want to have the heart that is surrendered if the Father does not call my husband to do that or be surrendered if that is YHWH's will for our lives. I feel like I've been holding on to it and just ignoring it. But I know that that is not a heart of surrender.
Then there's the other part of our lives, it's so hard for me to deal with the fear of losing dear friends that our kids have grown up together, and it's really hard to emotionally handle how it's going to feel when everybody finds out we follow Torah. How do you start all over? My family relationships are changed because of following Torah. It seems as if my whole life has been turned upside down. When I look back over my life it just seems like I've had such a happy life, and now everything's being turned upside down. I know that's not what Yahweh wants, I know He wants the best for me. Do any of you have experience that you can you share your thoughts and things that might help me through this and I would appreciate your prayers as I desire to live out God's will for my life. So all in all, I realized that Yahweh might not be bringing healing in my life, because I haven't surrendered over to him and these areas of my life that I need to get right. I've just been living in fear and I'm so overwhelmed by everything going on in our lives.
I'm sure you ladies understand, that all of these very emotional issues piled on top of taking care of my children, homeschooling and then wrapping up our homeschool year too! It just has me feeling completely overwhelmed.
Thank you!
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As I read your post I feel your pain, confusion and true desire to serve Yahweh. As a women also on this journey of healing and serving our Heavenly Father I have learned so much. The one thing I have learned over and over is, He needs us out of our comfort zone to stretch us and grow us (growing pains hurt). I won't pretend that I have the answers about healing but I do know we were created not to be ill. Sickness, pain and suffering was never the plan He has for us. Jeremiah 29:11 His plans are to prosper us. Prosperity is not just financial it is in our relationships, spiritually, and yes also in health.
I also live with chronic health issue and at times He gives me reprieve from pain. He does things all the time to remind me He has me and He loves me. Just the same as He does all His Children. When we seek His goodness around us we will find it. When we seek negatives we will also find those. When we loose our families For Yahweh He always sends someone to fill the void. Mark 10:29-30 Just be open to receive, even in the most unlikely persons.
Should your family be blessed with a sister wife I am sure you both will have some of those same issues and need the support of the other. It isn't an end but an addition.
I don't know if any of this helped but I am praying for you and send you love.

Blessungs and Shalom
Patricia
 
Mrs. Pacman said:
How do you start all over? My family relationships are changed because of following Torah. It seems as if my whole life has been turned upside down.
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Cling to your husband. Completely buy into his vision and embrace it 100%.

Reach out to others via the internet (even though that's not your usual MO). It helps to know you are not alone and crazy. :D

Listen and be comforted and sustained by the Holy Spirit reminding you of all the sweet blessings from your obedience.

<<I think it's made me put even more importance on my family. And, ok, it probably helps when the outside world already thinks you're strange, lol. Oh, and it certainly makes the idea of having a sister wife a bit more attractive. ;) >>
 
@windblown thank you! Yes, I agree...Jeremy was just saying that I need to get my eyes off of the situation with my parents and the fear of losing friends and focus on pleasing and following him.
I have a few dear friends and our children are so close. I am afraid of the pain that is coming when they find out we follow Torah. I am fairly confident they will not continue our friendship.
Thanks for responding, it was encouraging!
 
I have found over the years that there are soooooo many sweet dear women that follow Torah. My parents didn't know what to think but have figured out it's not just a phase after so many years. Always remember to put the L-rd first. If you do loose friends you will find you will be blessed with more. This lifestyle has been such a blessing. I would choose it over my old life anyday.
 
KayKay66 said:
I have found over the years that there are soooooo many sweet dear women that follow Torah. My parents didn't know what to think but have figured out it's not just a phase after so many years. Always remember to put the L-rd first. If you do loose friends you will find you will be blessed with more. This lifestyle has been such a blessing. I would choose it over my old life anyday.
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Thanks for the encouragement - my heart just aches for ny parents to come to the understanding as well. We used to be like minded in most things and this is creating such tension.
 
Mrs. Pacman said:
@windblown thank you! Yes, I agree...Jeremy was just saying that I need to get my eyes off of the situation with my parents and the fear of losing friends and focus on pleasing and following him.
I have a few dear friends and our children are so close. I am afraid of the pain that is coming when they find out we follow Torah. I am fairly confident they will not continue our friendship.
Thanks for responding, it was encouraging!
Click to expand...
You might be surprised at the acceptance you will get. I just told a good friend of mine and surprisingly she was ok with it and me. She said she didn't understand it and would like to learn more so she can understand but the point I am trying to make is I was stressing out so bad especially because I felt Yahweh was nudging me to share with her and like you I was so scared she would reject me and I would loose this friendship I love so much and she didn't. Trust Yahweh to lead you, you never know what He is speaking into your friends hearts and it may be that they have been curious and are afraid to say anything.
My friend and her husband are Torah observant but she didn't know poly was a thing amongst Torah. She asked me if it was Mormon foundations. I had to laugh. I explained I am a part of this group and we are all pretty Polly supportive Christians some are Messianic others are Christian and we are all just seeking to do God's will.
Try and trust Yah has you and you will be ok... all of you
 
Patricia C said:
You might be surprised at the acceptance you will get. I just told a good friend of mine and surprisingly she was ok with it and me. She said she didn't understand it and would like to learn more so she can understand but the point I am trying to make is I was stressing out so bad especially because I felt Yahweh was nudging me to share with her and like you I was so scared she would reject me and I would loose this friendship I love so much and she didn't. Trust Yahweh to lead you, you never know what He is speaking into your friends hearts and it may be that they have been curious and are afraid to say anything.
My friend and her husband are Torah observant but she didn't know poly was a thing amongst Torah. She asked me if it was Mormon foundations. I had to laugh. I explained I am a part of this group and we are all pretty Polly supportive Christians some are Messianic others are Christian and we are all just seeking to do God's will.
Try and trust Yah has you and you will be ok... all of you
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That's awesome! Thank you so much for sharing that with me! :):):)
 
Hey
Mrs. Pacman said:
I have not been in the forum much since joining because I much rather talk to ladies in person and build friendships that way. However, I am finding myself not able to confide in those who have been my friends since we began following Torah. My mother is my best friend and we have a close relationship, however my parents strongly disagree with us following Torah. They belong to an independent Baptist church where they are heavily involved and they think we are very wrong.
I don't really know where to start, but yesterday Pacman forwarded me a post talking about Karin getting healed from her knee problems. I have a lot of health issues and I have been seeking and praying for healing in my own life. But I do not feel like I've had an answer from the Father concerning my health. And it's been many years of going in circles trying to find the answer. So after reading that post it got me thinking, and I talked with my husband about it last night. And I realized that in my own life I haven't fully surrendered to following what the Father might have for my life. I hadn't been fully surrendered to the fact that He might lead my husband to take an additional wife someday. I want to have the heart that is surrendered if the Father does not call my husband to do that or be surrendered if that is YHWH's will for our lives. I feel like I've been holding on to it and just ignoring it. But I know that that is not a heart of surrender.
Then there's the other part of our lives, it's so hard for me to deal with the fear of losing dear friends that our kids have grown up together, and it's really hard to emotionally handle how it's going to feel when everybody finds out we follow Torah. How do you start all over? My family relationships are changed because of following Torah. It seems as if my whole life has been turned upside down. When I look back over my life it just seems like I've had such a happy life, and now everything's being turned upside down. I know that's not what Yahweh wants, I know He wants the best for me. Do any of you have experience that you can you share your thoughts and things that might help me through this and I would appreciate your prayers as I desire to live out God's will for my life. So all in all, I realized that Yahweh might not be bringing healing in my life, because I haven't surrendered over to him and these areas of my life that I need to get right. I've just been living in fear and I'm so overwhelmed by everything going on in our lives.
I'm sure you ladies understand, that all of these very emotional issues piled on top of taking care of my children, homeschooling and then wrapping up our homeschool year too! It just has me feeling completely overwhelmed.
Thank you!
Click to expand...
Hey, this is Kelly. I COMPLETELY understand what you are saying and thinking. I just wanted to tell you thank you for writing this! Love you girl!
 
Judgemenot said:
Hey

Hey, this is Kelly. I COMPLETELY understand what you are saying and thinking. I just wanted to tell you thank you for writing this! Love you girl!
Click to expand...
Thank you, Kelly :) I am really struggling with this. I am praying that my desires will be the Father's desires for me. Unfortunately, right now I am still terrified of the "what if's" for the future. It's so hard! I guess it's going to be a constant surrender ;)
 
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