@ZecAustin, weren't we just talking about our sons?...
From National Review: The Feminization of Everything Fails Our Boys
From National Review: The Feminization of Everything Fails Our Boys
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Raising boys in a feminized world
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And that's why my younger sons will never darken the door of a government re-education camp and why I am frantic to be a part of an alternative community so that my sons and daughters have the option to not have to live in this lunacy.
Excellent article that helps demonstrate the crisis we are facing. I met a man in the hallway at work several weeks back. The first thing I noticed about him was the metrosexual look, and the second thing I noticed? His arms. It seemed his biceps were the size of my wrists. I don't know the man, but my guess he that he is proud of how fit he is, and perhaps he even runs marathons, but he is one of the last folks I'd want to have watching my back in the zombie apocalypse.
This reminds me of a funny saying I saw yesterday. It was a picture of a quite muscular woman (btw, that is NOT a look I appreciate), and the words above and below her said:
I had a boy tell me the other day I looked like a man. I told him, "If you'll start using more weights, one day you can too."
This reminds me of a funny saying I saw yesterday. It was a picture of a quite muscular woman (btw, that is NOT a look I appreciate), and the words above and below her said:
I had a boy tell me the other day I looked like a man. I told him, "If you'll start using more weights, one day you can too."
@aineo, I'm not seeing the words above and below.
@ZecAustin, I hope you and I are going to talk about alternative community at the retreat....
@ZecAustin, I hope you and I are going to talk about alternative community at the retreat....
Preach it Pastor Zec! ... I second that!
P.S. My little man Noah (now 5months) could make a good future husband for your new little girl! ... I think that's called "family planning"! Lol
I was meaning the last two sentences were surrounding the woman in the picture - above and below her.
Noticing this issue was one of the first things (of several) that started me down the path of really investigating the differences between male and female (reminder: I'm still single). I work with my church in a Wednesday night children's ministry focused on Bible memorization (Awana, for those who know of it), and I noticed over several years that the girls were consistently completing the curriculum handbooks at a higher rate than the boys, which didn't make any sense to me. Furthermore, the boys were more likely to be on ADHD meds, or to have apathy about the whole program, or to cause "trouble" for various reasons. This was all very confusing to me, because it was pretty much the opposite of my experience (e.g. I was home-schooled, then got straight A's throughout college), so I started wondering about how boys were being treated by society and how I could help them.
Digging further, I realized that this was a wider phenomenon in our culture, with schools more focused on helping girls while abandoning boys. One excellent book about this that I started reading last year (though I haven't made it even half-way through yet) is Christina Hoff Sommers' "The War Against Boys: How Misguided Feminism is Harming Our Young Men". It was published in 2000, so all of its stats are from the 80's and 90's, but I'm sure things have only gotten worse since then. From there, I started falling into watching logical tear-downs of feminist ideology on youtube, and ended up distracted by that.
Bottom-line: I'm still not sure how to best help boys memorize, but I'm more willing to try different approaches -- and to encourage and help them to take responsibility for their own progress, while allowing them space to fail if they don't. I had one boy tell me this year that I was "savage," and the same boy also tell me that I was his favorite teacher. So that's something, I guess? Unfortunately, I'm a bit disheartened that Awana has begun changing its curriculum (again) to include a "discussion" time, because I haven't seen that sitting around in a circle talking about things is a particularly useful way for most boys to learn.
Digging further, I realized that this was a wider phenomenon in our culture, with schools more focused on helping girls while abandoning boys. One excellent book about this that I started reading last year (though I haven't made it even half-way through yet) is Christina Hoff Sommers' "The War Against Boys: How Misguided Feminism is Harming Our Young Men". It was published in 2000, so all of its stats are from the 80's and 90's, but I'm sure things have only gotten worse since then. From there, I started falling into watching logical tear-downs of feminist ideology on youtube, and ended up distracted by that.
Bottom-line: I'm still not sure how to best help boys memorize, but I'm more willing to try different approaches -- and to encourage and help them to take responsibility for their own progress, while allowing them space to fail if they don't. I had one boy tell me this year that I was "savage," and the same boy also tell me that I was his favorite teacher. So that's something, I guess? Unfortunately, I'm a bit disheartened that Awana has begun changing its curriculum (again) to include a "discussion" time, because I haven't seen that sitting around in a circle talking about things is a particularly useful way for most boys to learn.
I don't know where I read it, perhaps it was even here, but I recently read that ADHD meds might have a good purpose, but more often than not they are used to take the boy out of the boys.
Don't make boys sit to memorize. Give them a wooden sword/sticks or for safety and sanitys sake give them an aluminum covered paper sword-and each swing of the sword is a word or phrase. As they swing the sword they take a step...(They're memorizing Gods Word- which is sharper then a two edged sword.).. expect a level of chaos in the beginning. sitting properly and reciting/rehearsing is for girls. I saw this play out when I got to help in a summer vacation school, about 15 years ago. The boys were separated from the girls for "sword drill". They began at an x marked by tape on the carpet that marked their starting point and a few zigzags of tape to follow as they quotedthe verse as a group. I was surprised that thisworked. I've seen my son walk around thehouse to memorize something for school orstudy for a test. I think many boys just aren't wired to sit. Many songs stick with kidsbecause of hand motions or clapping, such as "we will, we will, rock you" whether you aresitting or standing with this 'song' you are moving your hand and stomping your feet.Putting verses into song format is alsohelpful, mostly for girls though, btw thesword thing was with 3rd -5th grade boys.
So piggy backing off this, and the fact that males and females are different, I have a question to ask.
Where do you draw the line of what is 'boy' stuff, and what is inappropriate? I grew up without brothers, just one sister, and a father who was not very manly, so raising boys is new to me.
My 9 year old is drawing pictures of things like aliens decapitating good people who are fighting them, with rather graphic outcomes. He wants to watch movies like Jurassic Park and Star Wars, and has no problem with seeing people dying. Everything seems to be about death and fighting right now. It was before too, but not as detailed and graphic as it is now.
At what point is this going too far? What movies are OK for him to watch? I don't want him getting the idea that death is OK, I think it's a serious matter and not something for play. I also know that when I went to see Jurassic Park when it first came out I was 9 or 10 years old and I freaked out. I didn't sleep for about a week and had nightmares for longer.
I don't want to put my fears or problems onto him, or stop him from being a boy. But there has to be a line right? I mean, I wouldn't be OK with him beating up other kids. So is the line play VS not play?
Where do you draw the line of what is 'boy' stuff, and what is inappropriate? I grew up without brothers, just one sister, and a father who was not very manly, so raising boys is new to me.
My 9 year old is drawing pictures of things like aliens decapitating good people who are fighting them, with rather graphic outcomes. He wants to watch movies like Jurassic Park and Star Wars, and has no problem with seeing people dying. Everything seems to be about death and fighting right now. It was before too, but not as detailed and graphic as it is now.
At what point is this going too far? What movies are OK for him to watch? I don't want him getting the idea that death is OK, I think it's a serious matter and not something for play. I also know that when I went to see Jurassic Park when it first came out I was 9 or 10 years old and I freaked out. I didn't sleep for about a week and had nightmares for longer.
I don't want to put my fears or problems onto him, or stop him from being a boy. But there has to be a line right? I mean, I wouldn't be OK with him beating up other kids. So is the line play VS not play?
Sarah, that is a tough question. Here's my opinion. Many boys were designed to be warriors: full of energy, a desire to be strong, and a desire to be powerful. They were also designed with curiosity, the ability to make decisions quickly (even if they are wrong), and a desire to lead. To be certain, there are girls who also have some of these desires, but that isn't the purpose of this post. All that said, how can we allow boys to be boys without allowing them to think they can kill someone and it is okay? The funny thing is, we didn't have as much of that 30 years ago as we do now, and boys still played out war in their backyards, so I think there is more to it that just their inclinations. I suspect we aren't doing a good job as a society in teaching them there is a time and a place for those things, and there is nothing wrong with their desire to explore and build up their "skills", but the "skills" should only be exercised when it is called for.
You may have hit the nail right on the head in that there is a line between make believe and real, and there is also a powerful teaching that should come from their fathers to help them know what is acceptable and what isn't acceptable.
I suspect I have more to say on this, but I am being distracted a bit now. More to come, probably.
You may have hit the nail right on the head in that there is a line between make believe and real, and there is also a powerful teaching that should come from their fathers to help them know what is acceptable and what isn't acceptable.
I suspect I have more to say on this, but I am being distracted a bit now. More to come, probably.
@FH2. Teach him the difference between a shepherd (dog) and a wolf The first has a crucial role in society and by nature is required to be the equal of the wolf. Both kill but there are huge differences between the two
Thanks. Some of these ideas overlap with things I've been trying. I've learned to embrace a certain chaos, and I have no problem with them standing or walking around while studying. I've sometimes allowed them small textured objects to hold as they're studying (this was before fidget spinners became popular), or even a low level of music. The last two have to be done carefully, and in limited amounts, to not become a distraction either to the child, or to others. I've bounced balls back and forth with one boy, and clapped out rhythms with another.
The problem I struggle with is motivation. No amount of "you ought to do this" works; that's not a valid motivation for many boys. I think that girls are more likely to be driven by social expectations, while boys need a more tangible goal to strive for. "Gamification" is a good idea, though.
Boys are so weird, but we love 'em, right?
As far as what is acceptable-if you're not okay with aliens, Star Wars or other shows, swiftly redirect or correct. Survival shows are great at this stage. Mom to mom here-be prepared for re enactment, things may disappear or be destroyed, but he's playing out what is being put in. It gets his mind and hands going to ' what can I create or destroy'. Those necessary motor and critical thinking skills are being taught. If he's not a reader get some audiobooks that are more along the lines you'd like to see him pursue. Quickly or slowly redirect or correct what is put before his mind and heart.
Anyway, teach him murder is sin. Self defense and war are different. You could steer him towards John Wayne. It's about guns and horses, No/to little language to gaurd against, there's bad guys and good guys and it's more real life then Star Wars and such. Westerns are classics, this generation has no idea what they're missing out on
Feminization even fails women.
In a debate I heard that in the UK only 6% of women now identify themselves as feminist due to the massive overreach of the movement.
This isn't something for you to be concerned with. It's his father's job and he will know almost instinctually what is appropriate for the boy.
Someone mentioned survival shows..these are a firm favourite for my 8yr old boy.He's all the time practising and on occasion,improving on skills and tips hes learned from them.Apparently when hes big hes going to be a Soldier for God,a hunter and a farmer.In that order: ).He's all the time on the go so academic skills are best mastered whilst whittling,planning traps or designing a shelter lol.
I have hunted big game since before my children were born. I really love to hunt. I was pleasantly surprised when my son was younger and had such an interest in the outdoors. My wife would allow the children to each pick a show to watch for about 30-45 min a day. While my oldest (a girl) liked to watch educational cartoons like Dora the Explorer, my 2-3 yr old son almost always "needed to watch my huntin show". He is now 14 and the last 6 years or so he has been my little hunting partner and has turned into quite the hunter. He took 3 deer last year to my 1 and 2 of them were nice 8 pointers, one from 223 yards with a perfect heart shot with modern rifle, the next one the following morning with black powder at 25 yards and the doe a couple of weeks later at 18 yards with modern rifle. All of them from publicly hunted land.
He has always had toy guns and bows and weapons, however, we were always super gun safety conscious and though he was allowed to play cowboy & indians and shoot 'em up, he was never, ever allowed to point even his toy guns at real people. He had to learn gun safety with a toy gun. Action open and empty, finger off the trigger and muzzle control.
He has always had toy guns and bows and weapons, however, we were always super gun safety conscious and though he was allowed to play cowboy & indians and shoot 'em up, he was never, ever allowed to point even his toy guns at real people. He had to learn gun safety with a toy gun. Action open and empty, finger off the trigger and muzzle control.
We've got a great pic somewhere of him running around the house in his undies with tomahawk's and pistols and swords all tucked in