For years, I knew that the Word of God allowed for a man to have more than one wife. During that time I just did not think it as a practice for today. I assume that this is from having a fear of man as well as the traditions and commandments of men(monogamy only heresy). All of which the Bible warns against.
I would say about a year ago, I felt a strong urge and desire to take another wife and maybe a third for various reasons. Some months ago I came across this site and it has given me great insight on coming out and being open about my belief and desire to practice biblical plural marriage. For this to happen as we know, must be of Christ, in Christ and in His timing. As a result, on His timing, pieces must come together. Here is what has happened so far...I have been married to the wife of my youth for many years. We are both devout for Christ and believe every Word of God.
About a year ago, The Lord put a very nice kind, Christian woman on my heart. The first time I saw her was about ten years ago at a community place that she, my wife and I frequent often ( I am remaining vague for the time being for reasons found below). I was extremely curious about this person the moment I saw her but at the time was under the monogamy only deception and left it as... I hope she is saved or gets saved. Anyway over the years and through activities at this community place (very appropriate), I would always see her but not approach her as she seemed extremely kind but private. I wanted to respect her space. Around a year ago I started to really be moved about living biblical plural marriage and this woman was really on my mind and in my heart and she continues to be to this day. Right around this time(around a year ago), she had to leave our town/city for an unknown length of time to a far away and dangerous place. So... Ten years after first seeing her, I approached her for our first conversation.
My first thought was to ask her if she had or has a Christian background. She mentioned excitedly that she did. She mentioned that she grew up in religion but got saved about a year and a half earlier. I asked her if she loves Jesus. She said that she loves Him very much which I was very happy to hear. From that point we would have quick conversations about things of the faith or how our day was and leave it at that. She is very kind, polite and respectful so she kept and keeps our interactions very appropriate. Anyway she left our town/city for some months and has since returned. Well... over this time my care and affection for her has grown to deep levels that only Christ can give me comfort with as I work through this. Over this time I have been hanging out on the forum and picking up advice and working my thoughts out.
So...Since her return, we have been able to have short conversations. Conversations about where she went, how she is feeling, and where faith can have an impact on all of that. During these conversations she mentioned that she likes talking with me. I really think that we have a connection. She just keeps it short and simple. I imagine that being under the monogamy only deception she does not want to show anything or give anyone fuel for gossip. I respect that very much.
Just about two weeks ago while at this community place(if anyone wants to know the community place, pm me. I just am not ready to come fully out as my wife is working through this and may someday read this), I was in an area working and she was standing next to me doing her thing which is completely normal. I felt as though it was time to broach a question with her that I learned from reading posts on here. It was as if it was God ordained... I was like, man no way... I am not going to do this. So I did.
I asked her randomly if she ever saw the tv show Sister Wives. She said yes she had. I said pretty wild about having multiple wives yes? She said it was with a smile. I mentioned to her that God is quite ok with men having more than one wife and pointed to King David and that the only time he was rebuked for having multiple wives was when he took Bathsheba. I used other examples as well. She asked about the legality of it and I mentioned that it is only illegal to apply for a second active marriage license and mentioned that only recently in history that the government got into the business of marriage but that marriage is between God and mankind. She did see that God does allow for a man to have more than one wife. She said that it gives her something to think about. Since then, she seems a bit more shy around me and is taking some space which I completely understand. Even if nothing comes of this, I am so glad that Christ gave me the strength to bring up the topic. So, I am going to give God the room to open or close this door
Not two days later I was sitting around and not sure but may have said something to myself as, if my wife comes and sits next to me, I am going to tell her my thoughts on biblical plural marriage and wanting to live it. Well within a minute she sat down next to me... Oh goodness. I'm not going to do it.... So I did.
Well... My wife does know that God allows for a man to have more than one wife so I did not need to go there. What I said was, "You know how God allows for a man to have more than one wife?" She said that she did. I then told her that I wanted to live it out. Here is what has happened...
All Glory to God our Saviour (KJV spelling)...
Initially as you can imagine she was a bit shocked had some questions. We talked for a bit and she went to work. That night if I remember correctly she came back a bit quiet. No, really quiet. She was sitting outside so I walked out and asked her how she was doing. She was really upset and we talked for a long time(I am going to spare the details in case she ever reads this). She was having the same fears and thoughts expressed by other first wives here (thank you all for your testimonies). I tried to assure her the best I could that she is the wife of my youth, that I am zealous for her and that we (my wife and I), are for life. I asked her to not leave me, that I loved her and told her again that I am not going anywhere, I am zealous for her and that we are for life. We left it at that.
At some point in the next day or two, my wife mentioned that she did some reading (I have no idea what or where... did not ask), and she came to the realization that she has no control over me, that biblically I could take on more wives (I believe in not taking a divorced woman/Not trying to start debate on that I promise).
Note... So a couple of things here at play... This was a great realization(having no control over me), for my wife and break away from the feminist, matriarchal desire to usurp the husband and control him. God was at work here. Since this time, my wife has changed in attitude for the better in all areas of our marriage. It has been amazing. Praise The Lord!
When my wife was humble enough to realize that God is in control and I belong to Him and not her things got better. I must say that I do realize I do not need her permission to take on another wife, but I need and want her buy in for a couple of reasons. I want my family unit to be blessed, loving and kind and bought in. I also want to keep myself from jumping off a cliff half cocked marrying for an ignorant reason to a person who could rip my family apart. So, for me to live biblical plural marriage, I need Christ to work in the heart of my wife and in the heart of any future possible wife. As a result, I told my wife I am not going to bring up the topic again because she said that she does not want any part of it. I am good with this because to me plural marriage is worthless if I loose my first wife and child over it. So again, I am happy to let go and let God as they say and charlie mike. If God moves on this, He will stir her heart and she will bring it up.
In closing if nothing else comes of this, I have shed the fear of man by telling my wife along with any past fear of man (specifically with my wife) and am living more and more in bold confidence as the head of the house. As a husband, I am to love and give myself to my wife(s), as Christ loved and gave himself for the church. I notice that the church never doubts Christ love. The wife of my youth will no longer doubt my love for her. Since then, my wife seems the happiest she has ever been in our marriage and we have been acting like newly weds. Thanks be to God!
I would say about a year ago, I felt a strong urge and desire to take another wife and maybe a third for various reasons. Some months ago I came across this site and it has given me great insight on coming out and being open about my belief and desire to practice biblical plural marriage. For this to happen as we know, must be of Christ, in Christ and in His timing. As a result, on His timing, pieces must come together. Here is what has happened so far...I have been married to the wife of my youth for many years. We are both devout for Christ and believe every Word of God.
About a year ago, The Lord put a very nice kind, Christian woman on my heart. The first time I saw her was about ten years ago at a community place that she, my wife and I frequent often ( I am remaining vague for the time being for reasons found below). I was extremely curious about this person the moment I saw her but at the time was under the monogamy only deception and left it as... I hope she is saved or gets saved. Anyway over the years and through activities at this community place (very appropriate), I would always see her but not approach her as she seemed extremely kind but private. I wanted to respect her space. Around a year ago I started to really be moved about living biblical plural marriage and this woman was really on my mind and in my heart and she continues to be to this day. Right around this time(around a year ago), she had to leave our town/city for an unknown length of time to a far away and dangerous place. So... Ten years after first seeing her, I approached her for our first conversation.
My first thought was to ask her if she had or has a Christian background. She mentioned excitedly that she did. She mentioned that she grew up in religion but got saved about a year and a half earlier. I asked her if she loves Jesus. She said that she loves Him very much which I was very happy to hear. From that point we would have quick conversations about things of the faith or how our day was and leave it at that. She is very kind, polite and respectful so she kept and keeps our interactions very appropriate. Anyway she left our town/city for some months and has since returned. Well... over this time my care and affection for her has grown to deep levels that only Christ can give me comfort with as I work through this. Over this time I have been hanging out on the forum and picking up advice and working my thoughts out.
So...Since her return, we have been able to have short conversations. Conversations about where she went, how she is feeling, and where faith can have an impact on all of that. During these conversations she mentioned that she likes talking with me. I really think that we have a connection. She just keeps it short and simple. I imagine that being under the monogamy only deception she does not want to show anything or give anyone fuel for gossip. I respect that very much.
Just about two weeks ago while at this community place(if anyone wants to know the community place, pm me. I just am not ready to come fully out as my wife is working through this and may someday read this), I was in an area working and she was standing next to me doing her thing which is completely normal. I felt as though it was time to broach a question with her that I learned from reading posts on here. It was as if it was God ordained... I was like, man no way... I am not going to do this. So I did.
I asked her randomly if she ever saw the tv show Sister Wives. She said yes she had. I said pretty wild about having multiple wives yes? She said it was with a smile. I mentioned to her that God is quite ok with men having more than one wife and pointed to King David and that the only time he was rebuked for having multiple wives was when he took Bathsheba. I used other examples as well. She asked about the legality of it and I mentioned that it is only illegal to apply for a second active marriage license and mentioned that only recently in history that the government got into the business of marriage but that marriage is between God and mankind. She did see that God does allow for a man to have more than one wife. She said that it gives her something to think about. Since then, she seems a bit more shy around me and is taking some space which I completely understand. Even if nothing comes of this, I am so glad that Christ gave me the strength to bring up the topic. So, I am going to give God the room to open or close this door
Not two days later I was sitting around and not sure but may have said something to myself as, if my wife comes and sits next to me, I am going to tell her my thoughts on biblical plural marriage and wanting to live it. Well within a minute she sat down next to me... Oh goodness. I'm not going to do it.... So I did.
Well... My wife does know that God allows for a man to have more than one wife so I did not need to go there. What I said was, "You know how God allows for a man to have more than one wife?" She said that she did. I then told her that I wanted to live it out. Here is what has happened...
All Glory to God our Saviour (KJV spelling)...
Initially as you can imagine she was a bit shocked had some questions. We talked for a bit and she went to work. That night if I remember correctly she came back a bit quiet. No, really quiet. She was sitting outside so I walked out and asked her how she was doing. She was really upset and we talked for a long time(I am going to spare the details in case she ever reads this). She was having the same fears and thoughts expressed by other first wives here (thank you all for your testimonies). I tried to assure her the best I could that she is the wife of my youth, that I am zealous for her and that we (my wife and I), are for life. I asked her to not leave me, that I loved her and told her again that I am not going anywhere, I am zealous for her and that we are for life. We left it at that.
At some point in the next day or two, my wife mentioned that she did some reading (I have no idea what or where... did not ask), and she came to the realization that she has no control over me, that biblically I could take on more wives (I believe in not taking a divorced woman/Not trying to start debate on that I promise).
Note... So a couple of things here at play... This was a great realization(having no control over me), for my wife and break away from the feminist, matriarchal desire to usurp the husband and control him. God was at work here. Since this time, my wife has changed in attitude for the better in all areas of our marriage. It has been amazing. Praise The Lord!
When my wife was humble enough to realize that God is in control and I belong to Him and not her things got better. I must say that I do realize I do not need her permission to take on another wife, but I need and want her buy in for a couple of reasons. I want my family unit to be blessed, loving and kind and bought in. I also want to keep myself from jumping off a cliff half cocked marrying for an ignorant reason to a person who could rip my family apart. So, for me to live biblical plural marriage, I need Christ to work in the heart of my wife and in the heart of any future possible wife. As a result, I told my wife I am not going to bring up the topic again because she said that she does not want any part of it. I am good with this because to me plural marriage is worthless if I loose my first wife and child over it. So again, I am happy to let go and let God as they say and charlie mike. If God moves on this, He will stir her heart and she will bring it up.
In closing if nothing else comes of this, I have shed the fear of man by telling my wife along with any past fear of man (specifically with my wife) and am living more and more in bold confidence as the head of the house. As a husband, I am to love and give myself to my wife(s), as Christ loved and gave himself for the church. I notice that the church never doubts Christ love. The wife of my youth will no longer doubt my love for her. Since then, my wife seems the happiest she has ever been in our marriage and we have been acting like newly weds. Thanks be to God!
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