poly2_2011
New Member
Access Comments on the PB & J Files
Hello to all Biblical Families. I am (well lets call me Jen) and I am the 2nd wife. My SW (Beth)is also a member on here we are both brand new here. Hubby we will call peter. lol, yes PB and J. when we post we will be the PB and J files. Beth and i intend to blog on here as we have seen the other blogs and think that our story would be helpful as well as would enjoy the support and interation we would receive back.
As for how we are set up, Beth stays at home with the kids and is currently taking a break from finishing her teaching degree, I work nights 4 nights a week (working on changing to a day job) and Peter works mostly days as a manager at a retail store, so occasionally works nights.
Peter and Beth looked for a SW for 2 years before we met online. I was only online for 2 months when they contacted me through a poly dating site. We had to establish our relationship without meeting in person as I was soo far away in Canada.
I was only looking for families that lived in the south due to multiple reasons. I had not really hit it off with anyone else when they contacted me. I was very open and continued talking to other families until I felt a deep connection with Peter (which didn't take long). It was like it was meant to be.
Peter and Beth had given up for a time and had gone off the site for a prolonged period before they felt the need to look again right before they found me. I, in turn, had been looking at Polygyny for quite some time before I felt the pull to put up a profile.
God was definitely steering our actions and hearts when He brought us all together. Beth was reluctant to talk to me on the computer at first (she hates video) but we determined to chat vocally through skype and we felt like we had known each other our whole lives almost immediately. It didn't take long and we all knew we had found our soul mates.
We began to plan for my children and I to move down south. At first we were going to move in the summer of 2012 but that seemed soo far away. However, i did not want to move my kids in the middle of the year. So we decided to hurry up and take a leap of faith and move down in summer 2011.
I had a lot of preparation to do. I had to finish renovating my house, sell it, and get all the paperwork and school stuff set out.
The school stuff was difficult because the school year starts and ends on different dates up there than down here. But i persevered and with much support from my friends and my future partners in life I got it all done.
We said goodbye to family and friends and loaded up the dogs and our few remaining possessions in the truck and the camper and set off on a very long drive. It was quite an adventure and we made many stops and even made it through a tornado. Bbut eventually we got here and moved into the house next door to Peter and Beth. took 8 days in total, with myself the only driver of course. I stopped to visit family for 2 days when we were about 1 day out from our new home.
This journey became a transformation for not only our location but the closer we got the lighter my heart became and the more anticipation I felt, (and admittedly I normally do not have much patience for loud children and dogs on long trips, i am working on that). I believe that because what i was doing was so right that I was lifted above my normal foibles and was given more strength to make it through that trip, turning what could have been a huge trial into an adventure fondly looked back upon.
When we finally all met face to face it was almost anti-climatic. I was actually feeling a bit let down at first but as we continued i realized that the whole reason it wasn't a "Wham" moment was because we were already sharing our souls and we all fit so well that it was as if we were pieces sliding into a hole in a puzzle that had been yearning to be all together and searching for its lost piece all along. It has truly been shocking how well we all do together.
I admit to having my fears that I was jumping in too fast and gonna end up in over my head. I even had backup plans as to where we would go and how we would live if need be. I am happy to say they were not necessary. Thank God. There were issues of course as there will always be when combining two families into one but much fewer and easily resolved then they could have been.
I had planned on going slow once we got here and giving my children time to adjust to the new concept as well as the new people and the move, but as things went along it became clear that my extreme caution was unnecessary. We came down in June and by August we felt comfortable enough to move into the main house with Peter and Beth and their children.
This course of action brought its own challenges as we were now trying to squeeze 9 people into a 4 bedroom house. We put the girls in one room, the boys in another, Beth kept her room, and I got my own room. We then attempted to cram all of the stuff we brought with us into my room. :lol:
My Children are a little older and have lived with me their whole lives so they know my rules and quirks and phobias and behave accordlingly (mostly), whereas Peter and Beths 3 oldest children are not that old and do not know me as well as my own daughters (obviously) and are not quite as good at taking care of material things.
This is where I must admit that I have an irrational attachment to the material things that I brought with me simply because I purged so much before i came . So the things I brought were the things that had meaning or necessity. I really am trying to release my mental hold on "my" things and try to think of them as our things, but it is hard.
Also i feel the need to defend myself and say i am not all that materialistic, the things I prize the most are books and photos and the things I chose to keep that were expensive. I have issues with when they don't take care of them not because they are important to me but because they represent alot of effort on my part to attain in the first place and I feel that the person who misuses them is being disrespectful of me when they are careless. I make every effort to take care of everyone else things and the stuff they have invested in, so feel that it should be returned.
OK short rant done. I apologize, apparently I do still have issues that I need to deal with. Needless to say I ended up in a cramped room with not much space to move around in. Sometimes i feel like those people on "hoarders", buried in my own stuff. We are attempting to alleviate the space issue through organization and yet more purging. Really i need to invest in another space for the things that are for work or sewing or jewelry making all of which are activities i do, or did and miss.
Peter and I joined as man and wife on Sept 11, 2011. We did not go on a honeymoon or do anything extra special but the timing just felt right. Peter, Beth, and I will be going on a trip together soon to celebrate both Peter and I joining and Beth and Peter's anniversary.
Beth did experience some jealousy issues and has been asking God for help to deal with them and leaning on both Peter and I for support as well. She is not sure why I don't have jealousy issues as well and I think it hinders her in recovering from her own jealousy because she feels guilty for having the jealousy feelings. I try to reassure her that it is a lifetime of false morality pushing her to feel that way and she needs to not expect herself to just be OK with it. She truly believes this is what we are all meant to do and that God has led us to this lifestyle.
Oddly it has not affected Beth's and my relationship negatively, although it has put stress on relations between Peter and Beth. Also as Beth is feeling closer to me and as Beth and I experience a deeper love for each other she is dealing with the jealousy better.
I feel the need to point out that while I expected to have a best friend relationship with Beth i did not know I would love her. She is a beautiful soul and deserving of all the love she receives as she is so sweet and caring of everyone around her. She is profoundly affected by those in need and tries her best to help everyone she comes in contact with and some she doesn't come in contact with. She is quite empathetic and is helping me to see myself in a new light and helps me to take a step back when I have done something rashly. She helps me to be a better person and I love her all the more for it.
This lifestyle and these wonderful people have been so loving and supportive, and all without sacrificing who they are, that i weep for the me that missed being with them for the many years I searched for the place I fit into. My life before this choice has had many struggles that have left many scars on my soul and both Peter and Beth help to heal them every day.
Do not get me wrong; we have had our struggles and our arguments. But we have managed to resolve them all with minimal consequences and have been able to return fully to our light hearts rather then letting anything fester to come out again later. I believe that particular part is a key component of this lifestyle choice.
Also we have all three of us had to take the role of mediator at some point. Again a key point where i think that poly lifestyle fits me better at least in that someone outside of the argument can pull the two of us that are disagreeing to look at our arguments rationally without prejudice, and so we come to an agreement faster and with less hurt feelings.
I am leaving this introduction at that since it appears my short note is turning into a small book. :lol: I hope to hear from many of you and develop some true friendships with like minded individuals that we do not have to hide our choices from for fear of repercussions. Goodnight all or in my case good day since i must still continue to work for the remainder of the night.
Hello to all Biblical Families. I am (well lets call me Jen) and I am the 2nd wife. My SW (Beth)is also a member on here we are both brand new here. Hubby we will call peter. lol, yes PB and J. when we post we will be the PB and J files. Beth and i intend to blog on here as we have seen the other blogs and think that our story would be helpful as well as would enjoy the support and interation we would receive back.
As for how we are set up, Beth stays at home with the kids and is currently taking a break from finishing her teaching degree, I work nights 4 nights a week (working on changing to a day job) and Peter works mostly days as a manager at a retail store, so occasionally works nights.
Peter and Beth looked for a SW for 2 years before we met online. I was only online for 2 months when they contacted me through a poly dating site. We had to establish our relationship without meeting in person as I was soo far away in Canada.
I was only looking for families that lived in the south due to multiple reasons. I had not really hit it off with anyone else when they contacted me. I was very open and continued talking to other families until I felt a deep connection with Peter (which didn't take long). It was like it was meant to be.
Peter and Beth had given up for a time and had gone off the site for a prolonged period before they felt the need to look again right before they found me. I, in turn, had been looking at Polygyny for quite some time before I felt the pull to put up a profile.
God was definitely steering our actions and hearts when He brought us all together. Beth was reluctant to talk to me on the computer at first (she hates video) but we determined to chat vocally through skype and we felt like we had known each other our whole lives almost immediately. It didn't take long and we all knew we had found our soul mates.
We began to plan for my children and I to move down south. At first we were going to move in the summer of 2012 but that seemed soo far away. However, i did not want to move my kids in the middle of the year. So we decided to hurry up and take a leap of faith and move down in summer 2011.
I had a lot of preparation to do. I had to finish renovating my house, sell it, and get all the paperwork and school stuff set out.
The school stuff was difficult because the school year starts and ends on different dates up there than down here. But i persevered and with much support from my friends and my future partners in life I got it all done.
We said goodbye to family and friends and loaded up the dogs and our few remaining possessions in the truck and the camper and set off on a very long drive. It was quite an adventure and we made many stops and even made it through a tornado. Bbut eventually we got here and moved into the house next door to Peter and Beth. took 8 days in total, with myself the only driver of course. I stopped to visit family for 2 days when we were about 1 day out from our new home.
This journey became a transformation for not only our location but the closer we got the lighter my heart became and the more anticipation I felt, (and admittedly I normally do not have much patience for loud children and dogs on long trips, i am working on that). I believe that because what i was doing was so right that I was lifted above my normal foibles and was given more strength to make it through that trip, turning what could have been a huge trial into an adventure fondly looked back upon.
When we finally all met face to face it was almost anti-climatic. I was actually feeling a bit let down at first but as we continued i realized that the whole reason it wasn't a "Wham" moment was because we were already sharing our souls and we all fit so well that it was as if we were pieces sliding into a hole in a puzzle that had been yearning to be all together and searching for its lost piece all along. It has truly been shocking how well we all do together.
I admit to having my fears that I was jumping in too fast and gonna end up in over my head. I even had backup plans as to where we would go and how we would live if need be. I am happy to say they were not necessary. Thank God. There were issues of course as there will always be when combining two families into one but much fewer and easily resolved then they could have been.
I had planned on going slow once we got here and giving my children time to adjust to the new concept as well as the new people and the move, but as things went along it became clear that my extreme caution was unnecessary. We came down in June and by August we felt comfortable enough to move into the main house with Peter and Beth and their children.
This course of action brought its own challenges as we were now trying to squeeze 9 people into a 4 bedroom house. We put the girls in one room, the boys in another, Beth kept her room, and I got my own room. We then attempted to cram all of the stuff we brought with us into my room. :lol:
My Children are a little older and have lived with me their whole lives so they know my rules and quirks and phobias and behave accordlingly (mostly), whereas Peter and Beths 3 oldest children are not that old and do not know me as well as my own daughters (obviously) and are not quite as good at taking care of material things.
This is where I must admit that I have an irrational attachment to the material things that I brought with me simply because I purged so much before i came . So the things I brought were the things that had meaning or necessity. I really am trying to release my mental hold on "my" things and try to think of them as our things, but it is hard.
Also i feel the need to defend myself and say i am not all that materialistic, the things I prize the most are books and photos and the things I chose to keep that were expensive. I have issues with when they don't take care of them not because they are important to me but because they represent alot of effort on my part to attain in the first place and I feel that the person who misuses them is being disrespectful of me when they are careless. I make every effort to take care of everyone else things and the stuff they have invested in, so feel that it should be returned.
OK short rant done. I apologize, apparently I do still have issues that I need to deal with. Needless to say I ended up in a cramped room with not much space to move around in. Sometimes i feel like those people on "hoarders", buried in my own stuff. We are attempting to alleviate the space issue through organization and yet more purging. Really i need to invest in another space for the things that are for work or sewing or jewelry making all of which are activities i do, or did and miss.
Peter and I joined as man and wife on Sept 11, 2011. We did not go on a honeymoon or do anything extra special but the timing just felt right. Peter, Beth, and I will be going on a trip together soon to celebrate both Peter and I joining and Beth and Peter's anniversary.
Beth did experience some jealousy issues and has been asking God for help to deal with them and leaning on both Peter and I for support as well. She is not sure why I don't have jealousy issues as well and I think it hinders her in recovering from her own jealousy because she feels guilty for having the jealousy feelings. I try to reassure her that it is a lifetime of false morality pushing her to feel that way and she needs to not expect herself to just be OK with it. She truly believes this is what we are all meant to do and that God has led us to this lifestyle.
Oddly it has not affected Beth's and my relationship negatively, although it has put stress on relations between Peter and Beth. Also as Beth is feeling closer to me and as Beth and I experience a deeper love for each other she is dealing with the jealousy better.
I feel the need to point out that while I expected to have a best friend relationship with Beth i did not know I would love her. She is a beautiful soul and deserving of all the love she receives as she is so sweet and caring of everyone around her. She is profoundly affected by those in need and tries her best to help everyone she comes in contact with and some she doesn't come in contact with. She is quite empathetic and is helping me to see myself in a new light and helps me to take a step back when I have done something rashly. She helps me to be a better person and I love her all the more for it.
This lifestyle and these wonderful people have been so loving and supportive, and all without sacrificing who they are, that i weep for the me that missed being with them for the many years I searched for the place I fit into. My life before this choice has had many struggles that have left many scars on my soul and both Peter and Beth help to heal them every day.
Do not get me wrong; we have had our struggles and our arguments. But we have managed to resolve them all with minimal consequences and have been able to return fully to our light hearts rather then letting anything fester to come out again later. I believe that particular part is a key component of this lifestyle choice.
Also we have all three of us had to take the role of mediator at some point. Again a key point where i think that poly lifestyle fits me better at least in that someone outside of the argument can pull the two of us that are disagreeing to look at our arguments rationally without prejudice, and so we come to an agreement faster and with less hurt feelings.
I am leaving this introduction at that since it appears my short note is turning into a small book. :lol: I hope to hear from many of you and develop some true friendships with like minded individuals that we do not have to hide our choices from for fear of repercussions. Goodnight all or in my case good day since i must still continue to work for the remainder of the night.
In other news I can not wait for our tax return to get here so we can go shopping. Neither Jen nor I have any formal wear for the cruise so it is a must that we go buy us some clothes. It has been a long time since I have bought myself anything so I am really excited. 