So some of this might be personal opinion and some of it might have Biblical basis. Anyway I will just state the following, whichever it is.
If I was married to a woman, I would be ok if she had a certain type of friendship at a very shallow level with some men, who she happens to meet occasionally by necessity, such as coworkers, in a common project or ministry, etc., but avoids meeting during unnecessary situations.
But I would feel it is an inappropriate friendship if she regularly starts going to events with a man, such as lunch, movies, etc in which I am not present.
And there are other types of friendship that I would consider appropriate or inappropriate. And it could be completely non-physical and I could still feel it is inappropriate.
Should men follow these same boundaries of friendship toward women. Or are their boundaries different because they can have more than one woman but woman can only have one man.
Would it be appropriate for instance for a man to be friends with many women he is not married to but forbid his wife from having the same kind of friendship with men?
Would it be OK for a man to want to marry a woman who has never had a boyfriend but at the same time, have multiple girlfriends because of polygyny. Or would that be a heartless and inappropriate double standard if he wants to marry a woman who has never had a boyfriend (other than possibly himself, and even then he might prefer to marry her without dating the old fashioned and debatebly purer way.) I am assuming that he does not do anything physical not even kiss or hold hands with the girlfriends. If a man wants to marry a woman who has never had a boyfriend does that mean he should never have a girlfriend (or does polygyny change that?)
If a man really likes a woman who has never had a boyfriend but she is still trying to decide if she is going to be his girlfriend or wife yet, is it OK for him to get a girlfriend without telling her but still expect her not to get a boyfriend if she is to marry him? If she believes in polygyny but her and or her parents frown down upon dating and she suddenly finds out about his girlfriend do you think she would get angry and get a boyfriend or decide not to marry the man?
By the way I do not have any secret girlfriend at the moment. I am just contemplating if that would hurt the feelings of a polygyny believing woman (who he wants to marry) or if she would probably be OK with it.
I came up with my thinking about this under the monogamy only position. And it is as follows
I would want a woman to only be devoted to me, so I should go for a woman who has never had a boyfriend. And I want to be only devoted to her, so I should not get a girlfriend unless I am nearly 100% sure I plan to marry her (so I thought under the assumption of the monogamy only position.)
Since a man can have more than one wife, does that make my thinking about not having girlfriends invalid if I want to marry a woman who has never had a boyfriend and is emotionally devoted to me only
So I want women's opinions on this, would it hurt you if a man wants you not to date anyone other than him, even before you get married, but at the same time have multiple girlfriends. Would it hurt a woman's feelings if he rejected her for marriage only because she had boyfriends in the past (even though she did not do anything physical with them) but at the same time the man had girlfriends (who he did not do anything physical with)
I am asking because I would not want to do anything to hurt the feelings of my future wives. By the way so far [as of the date I posted this] (to a large extent out of my own concern for saving myself for the right women) I have never had an official person who I called girlfriend or who called me boyfriend. I want to know if I should continue to avoid getting a girlfriend if it is important to me to marry a woman who has never had a boyfriend, or if it is OK for me to have girlfriends but only marry women who have not dated anyone other than me because men are permitted to have multiple wives, but a woman is only permitted to be married to one man.
Also perhaps this whole discussion is silly because there might be multiple definitions of boyfriend and girlfriend.
Some of my wording might be incredibly unclear or even mean something totally different then I intended so make sure you ask me, instead of jumping to wrong conclusions if you felt something I said makes me look bad.
If I was married to a woman, I would be ok if she had a certain type of friendship at a very shallow level with some men, who she happens to meet occasionally by necessity, such as coworkers, in a common project or ministry, etc., but avoids meeting during unnecessary situations.
But I would feel it is an inappropriate friendship if she regularly starts going to events with a man, such as lunch, movies, etc in which I am not present.
And there are other types of friendship that I would consider appropriate or inappropriate. And it could be completely non-physical and I could still feel it is inappropriate.
Should men follow these same boundaries of friendship toward women. Or are their boundaries different because they can have more than one woman but woman can only have one man.
Would it be appropriate for instance for a man to be friends with many women he is not married to but forbid his wife from having the same kind of friendship with men?
Would it be OK for a man to want to marry a woman who has never had a boyfriend but at the same time, have multiple girlfriends because of polygyny. Or would that be a heartless and inappropriate double standard if he wants to marry a woman who has never had a boyfriend (other than possibly himself, and even then he might prefer to marry her without dating the old fashioned and debatebly purer way.) I am assuming that he does not do anything physical not even kiss or hold hands with the girlfriends. If a man wants to marry a woman who has never had a boyfriend does that mean he should never have a girlfriend (or does polygyny change that?)
If a man really likes a woman who has never had a boyfriend but she is still trying to decide if she is going to be his girlfriend or wife yet, is it OK for him to get a girlfriend without telling her but still expect her not to get a boyfriend if she is to marry him? If she believes in polygyny but her and or her parents frown down upon dating and she suddenly finds out about his girlfriend do you think she would get angry and get a boyfriend or decide not to marry the man?
By the way I do not have any secret girlfriend at the moment. I am just contemplating if that would hurt the feelings of a polygyny believing woman (who he wants to marry) or if she would probably be OK with it.
I came up with my thinking about this under the monogamy only position. And it is as follows
I would want a woman to only be devoted to me, so I should go for a woman who has never had a boyfriend. And I want to be only devoted to her, so I should not get a girlfriend unless I am nearly 100% sure I plan to marry her (so I thought under the assumption of the monogamy only position.)
Since a man can have more than one wife, does that make my thinking about not having girlfriends invalid if I want to marry a woman who has never had a boyfriend and is emotionally devoted to me only
So I want women's opinions on this, would it hurt you if a man wants you not to date anyone other than him, even before you get married, but at the same time have multiple girlfriends. Would it hurt a woman's feelings if he rejected her for marriage only because she had boyfriends in the past (even though she did not do anything physical with them) but at the same time the man had girlfriends (who he did not do anything physical with)
I am asking because I would not want to do anything to hurt the feelings of my future wives. By the way so far [as of the date I posted this] (to a large extent out of my own concern for saving myself for the right women) I have never had an official person who I called girlfriend or who called me boyfriend. I want to know if I should continue to avoid getting a girlfriend if it is important to me to marry a woman who has never had a boyfriend, or if it is OK for me to have girlfriends but only marry women who have not dated anyone other than me because men are permitted to have multiple wives, but a woman is only permitted to be married to one man.
Also perhaps this whole discussion is silly because there might be multiple definitions of boyfriend and girlfriend.
Some of my wording might be incredibly unclear or even mean something totally different then I intended so make sure you ask me, instead of jumping to wrong conclusions if you felt something I said makes me look bad.
)
