• Biblical Families is not a dating website. It is a forum to discuss issues relating to marriage and the Bible, and to offer guidance and support, not to find a wife. Click here for more information.

Of babies and employers...

redfox

Member
We're coming up on a dilemma of sorts, and aren't sure how to handle it. We're hoping that others may have some insight or experience.

Sw is due in December with her first child, and hubby would like to be able to take off of work, but isn't really sure how. Now, I think most of us know that babies come when they're good and ready, and timing that is quite difficult. It's also not preferable to induce simply for the benefit of timing vacation (though we have done that before as well).

Hubby wants to be able to take off of work, but if he calls in sick he has to have a doctor's note or it's an unexcused absence. He's only allowed 3 UE's per 6 mos, so it doesn't leave much wiggle room. Everyone knows he's married with 6 kids, and I'm due next summer, so it's not like he can just say 'my wife's having a baby can I go home?' without someone raising eyebrows. His brother works there too, so keeping it quiet could be difficult.

So other than inducing the baby, what other options are there to help him get around some of these things? What have you all done in your experience, how have you handled these things? Any tips?

Another thought, we're both interested in the same midwife center (it's the only one in any reasonable distance), but we're concerned that they'll notice that it's the same father... and might get suspicious. So we're not really sure how to handle that.
 
Ok I have an idea... My husband was able to stay home from work in order to assist me because I was sick. I had to go get a dr's note but we just used the walk in clinic and the dr didn't do any tests at all after we discussed things. Basically I told him I felt like I either had the flu or food poisoning and wouldn't have come in at all except that I needed a dr's note. He totally understood wrote out the note how I needed it written. Something generic like " so and so was accutely ill and husband provided care." I don't know if there's a way to get a dr's note for someone in the family saying that your husband needed to stay home and provide care for that day. My husband only needs to give a day's notice before taking vacation time, I don't know your company's policy... but for us we'd just call in that day and schedule vacation time after that.
As for the birthing clinic... Perhaps a hair cut for that dad and different clothes? ;)

Hope you're able to work things out!
 
It's quite possible, in the providence of God that he may not be able to have his desire. Pray for it though and rejoice in whatever the Lord provides.
 
Probably really no way for him to take paternity leave for the SW... That might just be the reality of the situation.

As for the birthing center/midwives, well, midwives tend to not judge as heavily as doctors and hospitals and have dealt with multiple religious type situations, so pretty much I just wouldn't say anything at all and not worry if they notice it is the same dad because likely they won't say anything to you anyway. Unless there is obvious abuse of the woman, midwives pretty much mind their own business and just take care of the woman and assist during delivery. Chances are even if they disagree they will keep their mouth shut and just do what is best for the mom. I know a lot of midwives and they tend to be the least judgemental of all and anyway, given the tenuous basis of midwifery care in this country most don't want to start anything that could lead to attention on them in any way shape or form.

As for the actual birth, he might just need to call in sick for the day and take the unexcused absence. Do pray that labor happens on his normal days off though as it would draw less attention anyway. God is able!

~Becca
 
Thanks Becca :)

I had suggested finding a "gay friendly" midwife simply for that reason. If they're willing to be supportive of something like that, they're likely to not really care much about a person's living situation in general.

I thought I had found a mw at a different center, but she's expensive. And, bless her heart, she thinks she has a large family with three kids ;) :lol: I have to laugh because I'm working on #7, and she thinks she has a large family ;)
 
Back
Top