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Not in the market, but...

S

Shadowjak's Dancer

Seasoned Member
Real Person
Male
So, after having watched and participated in the discussion threads for a number of years, I've noticed that a number of 1st wives actually suggested Biblical Polygyny to their husbands. Also, there have been a number of women looking to be a 2nd or 3rd wife.

This was contrary to my previous assumptions that it was pretty much a guy initiated thing. I have begun to wonder whether that misconception goes further.

So, I named the post as such because I don't want anyone to get the wrong idea when I ask the question below, for I am actually just curious (and not trying to invite more than intellectual discourse), but:

Are there any women out there that are just interested in becoming someone's Concubine?

If so, what do you figure that looks like practically? Why would you find it (more?) preferable to being a 1st, 2nd, or 3rd wife?
 
OK, now I think you're just trying to cause trouble. The word "concubine" has done little but generate controversy here and no accepted meaning has become clear, so a question that relies on it is likely to go downhill fast.
 
Nope, I am not trying to cause trouble. I think it is unfortunate that you assume so. The question arises out of the fact that early on my quest into Biblical Polygyny studies, I came across a website called Piligesh Personals. The website has since gone defunct, but I have always remembered that there was at least one person advertising herself as wanting to be a concubine in the Hebrew sense of the word.

However you define it, and whatever your opinion, I figured that here, at least, I would be more likely to get opinions from more fair minded individuals.

The media talks about open relationships, Polyamory, and a whole slew of other sexual relationship constructs. Considering the Playboy Mansion, strip clubs, the institute of prostitution, and just the women who seem to prefer a package of financial and social benefits as well as sex over traditional models of being a wife lead me to contemplate whether the model of Concubinage would prove a more comfortable fit for some women.

After all, it is also spoken of in Scripture, and while it may not necessarily be most people's proverbial cup of tea, any more than polygyny..., it may provide a Biblical model to address women whose natural inclinations might otherwise lead them into such non-Biblical options as mentioned above.

Genuinely hoping to invite intellectual discourse. Really.
 
mystic, I understand where you are coming from, but I think jacob is asking a reasonable question.

I have a friend in Houston who since he has gotten to know me and my family over the years has started asking single women he meets if they would consider being a plural wife, just to see what they would say. In the course of that survey, he has actually changed his line of questioning somewhat along the lines jacob is talking about. "If I had a big, nice house, lots of amenities, pool in the back, and lots of bedrooms, and I stayed home and took care of everything, had dinner ready and did all the man stuff around the house, even was a father figure to your kid(s), and there were several other women (and any children they had) living at the house as well, would you be interested? 'Benefits' would be optional—fine if there's chemistry and mutual interest, but not a requirement of the arrangement. Whaddaya think?" And he's getting a very high positive response rate! They wouldn't even consider being a plural wife, but they have no problem entertaining the idea of being something like a concubine. On the practical side, they totally get the advantages of such a lifestyle. Go figure.

I think it's a legit question, whatever word we use to describe the relationship (the women I'm talking about above would not use that word to describe themselves). Not my cup of tea, and not necessarily promoting the idea for others, but as an exercise in thinking outside the box in a decaying and collapsing culture, I get it.
 
It really does depend on what your definition of concubinage is. We don't live in a society that is following biblical practices, and we are subject to the laws of our governments, which may promote concubinage in ways we haven't thought of, rather than marriage.
Here's an old thread that may be relevant.
And I don't think it's a problem for Jacob to bring up at all, especially since he's asking women to chip in on their thoughts.
I am in a one flesh relationship with Samuel for the rest of our lives. I couldn't care less if you call that marriage, slavery, or concubinage, I know what it is and where we are and have security in it. A label is just a label.
The way I see it is that concubines were slaves that were also wives and the only difference was that their children didn't inherit. Perhaps as slaves they had more jobs to do around the house, I don't know. Since I do it all right now, maybe I'm really a slave - hence a concubine?
 
It's mentioned in the Bible but never really defined or regulated. I've come to the conclusion that it's not one of God's forms of marriage but rather a cultural reality that the text describes when it's relevant to the story.
 
andrew said:
"If I had a big, nice house, lots of amenities, pool in the back, and lots of bedrooms, and I stayed home and took care of everything, had dinner ready and did all the man stuff around the house, even was a father figure to your kid(s), and there were several other women (and any children they had) living at the house as well, would you be interested? 'Benefits' would be optional—fine if there's chemistry and mutual interest, but not a requirement of the arrangement. Whaddaya think?" And he's getting a very high positive response rate! They wouldn't even consider being a plural wife, but they have no problem entertaining the idea of being something like a concubine. On the practical side, they totally get the advantages of such a lifestyle. Go figure.
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That is really hilarious. The day to day life, and practicalities isn't the issue. It really is just a programed response to the concept that shuts the thinker off, without actually thinking.
Brain fart. Lol
 
I have no idea what you just said....
 
andrew said:
mystic, I understand where you are coming from, but I think jacob is asking a reasonable question.

I have a friend in Houston who since he has gotten to know me and my family over the years has started asking single women he meets if they would consider being a plural wife, just to see what they would say. In the course of that survey, he has actually changed his line of questioning somewhat along the lines jacob is talking about. "If I had a big, nice house, lots of amenities, pool in the back, and lots of bedrooms, and I stayed home and took care of everything, had dinner ready and did all the man stuff around the house, even was a father figure to your kid(s), and there were several other women (and any children they had) living at the house as well, would you be interested? 'Benefits' would be optional—fine if there's chemistry and mutual interest, but not a requirement of the arrangement. Whaddaya think?" And he's getting a very high positive response rate! They wouldn't even consider being a plural wife, but they have no problem entertaining the idea of being something like a concubine. On the practical side, they totally get the advantages of such a lifestyle. Go figure.

I think it's a legit question, whatever word we use to describe the relationship (the women I'm talking about above would not use that word to describe themselves). Not my cup of tea, and not necessarily promoting the idea for others, but as an exercise in thinking outside the box in a decaying and collapsing culture, I get it.
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Okay, now what would the "concubine's" responsibilities be in this scenario? Did I miss it?
 
Totally legit question Jake. I like your brain:p.

I would think a subset of women who fear forming a bond with a man in a traditional, western sense, but can't deny the urge to seek "benefits", would be attracted to this.
 
The women, all of whom are making high five to low six figures, would pay rent, etc. Meanwhile he keeps the household running well and keeps the peace, maybe works out of the home
 
andrew said:
The women, all of whom are making high five to low six figures, would pay rent, etc. Meanwhile he keeps the household running well and keeps the peace, maybe works out of the home
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Utilitarianism at its finest?

What's love got to do with it? Not much.

But then again, do we really need romantic love in marriage (or in this case concubinage)? Not really.
 
More practical thinking and less idealistic dreaming might improve a lot of relationships.... :eek:
 
This is often the suggested solution I give my wife when she's overwhelmed by the high demand of being the keeper of our home.
"Just say the word darlin and I'll bring us home a concubine/handmaiden... And I don't necessarily have to be intimately involved with her... unless of course you'd like to be done giving me babies and choose to bare a few through her for us!" Lol :D

(For the record, my Dove does an incredible job being my homemaker.)
 
andrew said:
More practical thinking and less idealistic dreaming might improve a lot of relationships.... :eek:
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Yes, but then you run into that whole men are from Mars...women are from Venus thing.

Are women wired or culturally programmed to want roses, chocolates and deep emotional bonds while talking about their feelings?

Is that absent in this scenario?

Btw- must said harem boy wear speedos while cleaning the pool?:eek:
 
Mojo said:
Are women wired or culturally programmed to want roses, chocolates and deep emotional bonds while talking about their feelings?
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Don't know about wired, but culturally programmed? For sure. But all of these women are young-middle-aged, either been married or had serious boyfriends, typically a kid or two, and let's just say they have a more realistic view of what matters in a relationship.
 
andrew said:
Don't know about wired, but culturally programmed? For sure. But all of these women are young-middle-aged, either been married or had serious boyfriends, typically a kid or two, and let's just say they have a more realistic view of what matters in a relationship.
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Still bet they want chocolates and roses, though.;)
 
I heard, not sure if it's true, that a wife is one a bride price was paid for, and concubine there was no bride price paid. I tease my husband that I am his concubine.. Hahaha
 
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