No Kids

[Shimon]

A lot of folks here seem way younger than my wife and I (50 & 56 respectively). The woman I am considering is also our age (57). There would be no minor children involved. My wife and I have been married 17 years and T, the woman I am thinking about has never been married or had children. I dated her in college (we both believed in and practiced chastity) and I broke off the relationship after I returned from a brief stint in SE Asia in '72. I came back with my head really messed up and eventually dropped out of school. I reconnected with her recently. One of the things she said to me was that I was the only guy she had ever considered marrying. Wow - that was a pretty heavy load to accept. At this point I'm not even sure if she'd have an interest in getting married and I haven't ever discussed PM with her. I do know she is a strong Christian. If my first wife and T were in agreement, I would add her to our family in a heartbeat.

I'd like some feedback about whether folks think this would still be within the Biblical purpose behind PM since we would be unlikely to have kids to rear. I have grandkids that I adore, But I'm not sure I'd even want to start raising another infant. :?

 

[CecilW]

The good Lord said, "It isn't good for man(kind) to be alone", before He said, "Be fruitful and multiply".

Still true, far as I know.

 

[Anonymous]

Shimon, I am 62 and I must agree with Cecil on the priority regarding marriage. In the last 15 or so years, I have come across 3 or 4 couples that were high school sweethearts and were now together. They seemed very happy. There is even a show on TV now called, "First Love, Second Chance". Kinda stirs up the romantic in me! I hope she is open to PM. I believe this could be a great blessing in all your lives!

 

[sweetlissa]

Our family is not in "childrearing" mode either. I don't think that you have any reason to doubt. God gave this as a choice. I consider the women that I work with on this board and in our church to be my "children" spiritually. I have never had any of my own and it doesn't look promising at 46.

SweetLissa

 

[Shimon]

Thanks for the support folks. My wife and I have some non-marriage hurts to work thru before anyone could be added to our home. Namely I would like her to have a chance to heal from the loss of our home and business recently - the business to the economy, and our house to a fire back in December that the insurance company still hasn't settled on, and won't until the PD gets the results back from the state forensics lab. Idaho ain't like CSI folks. Fortunately we were in the process of moving and many of our belongings were already gone from the house. I did lose my photo printer in the fire tho' - along with most of my images. I'd backed them up to disc, but didn't keep a backup outside the house. Those little document safes my protect flammables like paper, but anything plastic inside melts. Since I do fine art landscape photography and print my own, that's a huge loss.
Anyway, we've relocated to NE Oklahoma and our lives seem to be on hold until everything else gets settled. Life stinks, but God is good. He has always seen us thru in the past, and I'm sure he will continue to do so. My wife is working for Cherokee Nation. I'll need to find a lab and get busy getting some new images. It's the first time she has had to work for someone else in years and that hurts, but she will heal and we will bounce back. Just need to get that behind us first. I don't want her to feel threatened with another loss - as some woman here seem to have at first - until she is solidly together again.

Dave

 

[sweetlissa]

Sounds like you guys have had a rough time recently. Sorry for the losses of both home and business. Each carries its own kind of baggage. I am glad you are together and that you both were safe from the fire.

SweetLissa

 

[Nikismom]

Dave,

That makes me have a HUGE amount of respect for you! I think waiting until she is in a better place will help her be more open to PM. I know that in our family it was ME that God spoke to about PM first. I mentioned it to hubby and we started discussing it and reading and praying about it. Now we are preparing to bring our sister wife into our family.

 

[Shimon]

Dave,

That makes me have a HUGE amount of respect for you! I think waiting until she is in a better place will help her be more open to PM. I know that in our family it was ME that God spoke to about PM first. I mentioned it to hubby and we started discussing it and reading and praying about it. Now we are preparing to bring our sister wife into our family.

Thanks Gidget. Never one to look for pats on the back, just kinda plow ahead and try to do what's best for all concerned. He who would be first must put himself last - or whatever. One thing T taught me those many years ago is that if you put your partner's happiness foremost, you both come out ahead in the end. Call it the Golden Rule or whatever works, but it works for me.

Dave

 

[Shimon]

Sounds like you guys have had a rough time recently. Sorry for the losses of both home and business. Each carries its own kind of baggage. I am glad you are together and that you both were safe from the fire.

SweetLissa

That you SweetLissa. God never lets Satan dump more on us than we can handle, but he does stretch us at times. My lady has had a very hard life and is feeling particularly hard time emotionally with this latest loss. She is struggling not to blame Him and is very bitter about a lot of things. Today she wondered if I really understood what it was like to feel such bitterness. I told her that I push those feelings inside so as not to express that bitterness toward others - then, In private, I lay that burden at the foot of the Cross. Living with those feeling is not what He has in mind for us. Moving from SE Idaho is a Blessing. The area is so heavy with mormonism with all its judgementalism and lack of acceptance for those who won't convert to their way of thinking.

Dave

 

[Revgill87123]

Ok doesn't it say in the bible for a man to take in a woman regardless of childbearing or not? I mean it says to take in widows, less favorable and so forth? IMO I would think it is still biblically sound to take in that wife regardless if she can bare you a child or not.