I've been in a monogamous marriage for nearly 20 years. "Mr. Froggie" and I have two wonderful (nearly perfect) teenage sons. Parents could not ask for better sons. 
Recently a co-worker of ours (we all work at the same place, in different departments, and on different shifts) offered to have me babysit her children on my evenings off, while she works the night shift, to help us out a little bit financially. She's also our neighbor, and a single mother of five children. (The children's father is in prison, for a felony assault charge) This poor woman is so overwhelmed and exhausted from the task of raising these children on her own. They range in age from 15, 10, 9, 6, and 5. The older four are all girls, and the "baby" is a boy. At least two of the girls have some hyperactivity/learning dysfunction/and developmental delays. They all require 100% eyeball supervision, 100% of the time, because they get into mischief if you take your eyes off of even one of them for just a minute! Seriously! But their mother works the night shift, and absolutely must sleep occasionally, lol!
So I have been babysitting the four younger children on the weekend nights while their mother works. I help them get ready for bed, and then treat them to a game at the kitchen table, and a bedtime story. They absolutely love it. Their poor mother simply does not have the time, energy, or patience to do any of this with them. I'm not judging her poorly, but rather, I have been touched with great empathy and compassion for her. I know she is tired and overwhelmed. Her children NEED another parent in their lives, even TWO more parents! And this neighbor NEEDS a helpmate, a best friend/confidant, and a partner(s).
And sooo.... I have had this nagging little idea forming in my head that maybe it would benefit all of us to consider a plural marriage, and have this neighbor/co-worker/friend merge her family with ours. The children would have an extra set of parents, and constant supervision. And she would get help with housework too, since she would have more time to herself (or with her children while I did the housework). And the monetary/material asset sharing would only be an extra side benefit to all the spiritual/emotional perks. (She makes more through her tips alone than my husband and I do by our combined hourly wages!)
But.... when I think about "sharing" my husband with another woman in the marital sense, I'm not sure I can handle it.
And... when I broach the idea with him, my husband has three responses: 1) Asks if marrying our friend would mean he had to sleep with her sometimes. 2) Insists he is not attracted to her in "that way." 3) Says her children would be way too much work, being as hyperactive as they are, and he does not want five more kids.
But this niggling idea just.... will..... not..... go away! I've been reading through this forum, and found it fascinating! I read and read for hours without end. I found the topics explaining how we must "visit the widows and orphans," and the Biblical definition of such ("husbandless and fatherless"), and I am struck by how much that description fits my neighbor, and it really strikes a chord with me.
Then this evening, I had a brief word with my husband--- not necessarily about the idea of plural marriage-- he merely related to me a recent conversation he had had with our friend at work (he works nights too, and I work days), and she had told him that her children absolutely LOVE me, and that I am the BEST babysitter they have EVER had.
And then she went on to say that she herself loves us--- our whole family--- and that if she has to pay our power bill for us to keep us here, she would do so! :shock:
Needless to say, that little tidbit of conversation did nothing to help this "idea" go away! HELP! Advice? Counsel? I'm really stuck here!
Oh and one more question: Supposing Mr. Froggie and I decided this is indeed what the Lord wants us to do, and that it is right, how do we go about "courting" this other family? Just how does that kind of "courtship" work? :?:
Thanks.
Recently a co-worker of ours (we all work at the same place, in different departments, and on different shifts) offered to have me babysit her children on my evenings off, while she works the night shift, to help us out a little bit financially. She's also our neighbor, and a single mother of five children. (The children's father is in prison, for a felony assault charge) This poor woman is so overwhelmed and exhausted from the task of raising these children on her own. They range in age from 15, 10, 9, 6, and 5. The older four are all girls, and the "baby" is a boy. At least two of the girls have some hyperactivity/learning dysfunction/and developmental delays. They all require 100% eyeball supervision, 100% of the time, because they get into mischief if you take your eyes off of even one of them for just a minute! Seriously! But their mother works the night shift, and absolutely must sleep occasionally, lol!
So I have been babysitting the four younger children on the weekend nights while their mother works. I help them get ready for bed, and then treat them to a game at the kitchen table, and a bedtime story. They absolutely love it. Their poor mother simply does not have the time, energy, or patience to do any of this with them. I'm not judging her poorly, but rather, I have been touched with great empathy and compassion for her. I know she is tired and overwhelmed. Her children NEED another parent in their lives, even TWO more parents! And this neighbor NEEDS a helpmate, a best friend/confidant, and a partner(s).
And sooo.... I have had this nagging little idea forming in my head that maybe it would benefit all of us to consider a plural marriage, and have this neighbor/co-worker/friend merge her family with ours. The children would have an extra set of parents, and constant supervision. And she would get help with housework too, since she would have more time to herself (or with her children while I did the housework). And the monetary/material asset sharing would only be an extra side benefit to all the spiritual/emotional perks. (She makes more through her tips alone than my husband and I do by our combined hourly wages!)
But.... when I think about "sharing" my husband with another woman in the marital sense, I'm not sure I can handle it.
And... when I broach the idea with him, my husband has three responses: 1) Asks if marrying our friend would mean he had to sleep with her sometimes. 2) Insists he is not attracted to her in "that way." 3) Says her children would be way too much work, being as hyperactive as they are, and he does not want five more kids.
But this niggling idea just.... will..... not..... go away! I've been reading through this forum, and found it fascinating! I read and read for hours without end. I found the topics explaining how we must "visit the widows and orphans," and the Biblical definition of such ("husbandless and fatherless"), and I am struck by how much that description fits my neighbor, and it really strikes a chord with me.
Then this evening, I had a brief word with my husband--- not necessarily about the idea of plural marriage-- he merely related to me a recent conversation he had had with our friend at work (he works nights too, and I work days), and she had told him that her children absolutely LOVE me, and that I am the BEST babysitter they have EVER had.
And then she went on to say that she herself loves us--- our whole family--- and that if she has to pay our power bill for us to keep us here, she would do so! :shock: Needless to say, that little tidbit of conversation did nothing to help this "idea" go away! HELP! Advice? Counsel? I'm really stuck here!
Oh and one more question: Supposing Mr. Froggie and I decided this is indeed what the Lord wants us to do, and that it is right, how do we go about "courting" this other family? Just how does that kind of "courtship" work? :?:
Thanks.
Showing that you really do love her is what it is about, I think.
)
