Romantic_Rebel
New Member
As a person growing up in a Christian home I can say we're never family who prayed together. Being influenced from both sides of my family made me believe in Jesus still I never went to Church until my teenage years. Going to Church made change! I become a Christian doing what American Christians typically do; I guess. Going to Church, listing to the then Pope John Paul II, Once in a while going to the Christian book store. I only saw myself as a person who was a Christian. I never really aligned myself with Catholics, Mormons, or any type school of Christian thought. I did start to come and respect both Judaism and Islam. I loved leaning about those two faith while still having faith in my Christianity. As quick you read that so did I have struggles with my faith and the many reasons why I left my faith. Growing up in a family who is Christian and being a teen going to many Churches never really helped me establish a trust with the people there. From other problems of depressions, being made fun for being a Christian, and what not I felt spiritually and psychically weak as a young man. I told myself to tell Jesus I couldn't carry my cross anymore. I'm tired of trying to be a Church goer, I'm tired of being made of because of my faith, I'm just sick of it all! That night I did the impossible! I became an Atheist! Yes! I know. Me going against the world really did a number on who I am and my strong faith I build up from the ground was easy knocked down by others and myself. I abused my faith and then I became a bitter shell of a man for it. As an Atheist I quickly study what an Atheist was and how they act. I became my own demon after becoming an Atheist. I have nothing against Atheism. I just saw it as a way to vent my anger, appear more of know it all, and be in with all the new Atheist groups. Since last month I have been feeling there is a God out there. Or something of that nature on my tongue. I never really pray any more but studying on religion has made me want to return to my faith. Since being an Atheist I feel that I want to get with the winning team and do good. Atheism is just not that team for me. Right now I guess I can call myself a Deist. I would like to find a Church to go back to and see what I can find there. My body and some random thought is just telling me to go to Church! I just want to know which Church. I would love to become a Christian again. I just need the faith to become a Christian and not have reply like my youth. I did post a prayer on the forums and I'm glad someone reply to my message. Made me happy! I have a lot more back story I didn't include because I thought it would be to much for right now. Hopefully some of you guys can help me with my journey back to God.
