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Is you reason to live PM religious or personal?

G

Gillfam

New Member
I like to ask this question cause some people live PM because of religious beliefs others are either personal or even cultural. Me personally what can I say? I am a product of my environment. It's how I was raised and I'm not really in it because of religious views (though I believe it is biblical right). I live it because it has just happened to work out that way. I never went looking for it. But I know others who are looking for it all the time. I always told people I believed in it, but was never really sure if I would ever live it my self. Then Shelly came along and we just connected. So Shelly became my second wife with Becky's blessing. Then Shelly passed away and we were mono once again. To me I was fine being mono and Just supporting PM for those who did live it. Then Jennie came along and I have to say I just knew one day she would be my wife. But Jen had very strong objections to PM. So after a few years I just thought we were done and maybe she would never come around. So I told her if the opportunity came for someone else I would be with them, but if not I was happy for Becky to remain friends, but I could no longer be around her and her son due to me getting too attached. She asked me to marry her because she could not see her or her son with out me in their lives. I told her she already knew the answer, but she also needed to see what Becky thought. Becky being Jen's best friend for a few years now said yes. Then we were married. I find it funny though many people tell me that all my reasons for having Jennie as a second wife should have been biblical.

They are not however because too me though I justify it with scripture, neither time did I go looking. Neither time did I really think we would live this way. Too me it just happened and was meant to be from Yah. I never however felt called to go looking to live it. I have always just sat by and it has kind of happened on it's own. So I am wandering what are your reasons for living or wanting to live PM? I find it amazing what has lead some people to this path! Also what has kept the ones who are looking from loosing it? I see the stories all the time of bad thing goin on in the poly dating world. Ok I think this should be an interesting thread cause we all have different reasons for living PM! :D
 
I never thought that I would ever be even supportive of PM and actually because of the media's reports on PM made me against the idea and thought it would never work. But I married a man that lives his life for God and tries to do what God would want him to do and before I married him we actually talked about it and I knew he supported the idea so after we married I told him no I am not okay with PM and he said that he was okay that I wasn't. I began maturing in the Lord over the years and spending as much time doing what God wanted me to do and I started warming up to the idea. So I have decided that when the time was right he would marry the "right" woman and if she was a good fit as well. Then my reasons became also personal like always having a companion, another mother for my babies, being able to go out and do the things that I like to do and I wouldn't feel guilty for leaving my babies with a stranger. So I guess for us our reasons are both biblical and personal.

~Asia
 
Excellent question!

Although I don't live PM, I support others who do, and I hope that everyone choses to marry for PERSONAL reasons. I'm not religious, but I am married and I believe my marriage looks very similiar to christian ones. We're faithful, respectful, and very modest in our relationship with each other. The reason we married had nothing to do with religion and doesn't need religion to make it any more sacred.

I would be interested to hear from the other perspective, though, since - honestly - I've never heard of a religious inspired match being successful. I'm not saying that it couldn't happen, though.
 
In my opinion....
It would seem to me that at the end of the day it's primarily personal for most people. I suspect that the reasons are personal but the support for it can be drawn from the Bible. I believe, in part, that this is because we live in a society that has been and is monogamist in nature. Therefore, we end up believing that our personal reason is insufficient reason and as a result use the Bible and other argumentation to support our decision. In other words, if we lived in a society in which plural marriage was commonplace we wouldn't even need to have the discussion about whether or not it was Biblical. We would just do it... and those are the same reasons we do it today... in the current environment, however, it seems necessary to provide a defense against the charges of immorality.
My two cents.
 
Well I have seen people want to argue religion with me less and less, lol. They want science and statistics now cause the argument can go either way.
 
Gillfam said:
I like to ask this question cause some people live PM because of religious beliefs others are either personal or even cultural. Me personally what can I say? I am a product of my environment. It's how I was raised and I'm not really in it because of religious views (though I believe it is biblical right). I live it because it has just happened to work out that way. I never went looking for it. But I know others who are looking for it all the time. I always told people I believed in it, but was never really sure if I would ever live it my self. Then Shelly came along and we just connected. So Shelly became my second wife with Becky's blessing. Then Shelly passed away and we were mono once again. To me I was fine being mono and Just supporting PM for those who did live it. Then Jennie came along and I have to say I just knew one day she would be my wife. But Jen had very strong objections to PM. So after a few years I just thought we were done and maybe she would never come around. So I told her if the opportunity came for someone else I would be with them, but if not I was happy for Becky to remain friends, but I could no longer be around her and her son due to me getting too attached. She asked me to marry her because she could not see her or her son with out me in their lives. I told her she already knew the answer, but she also needed to see what Becky thought. Becky being Jen's best friend for a few years now said yes. Then we were married. I find it funny though many people tell me that all my reasons for having Jennie as a second wife should have been biblical.

They are not however because too me though I justify it with scripture, neither time did I go looking. Neither time did I really think we would live this way. Too me it just happened and was meant to be from Yah. I never however felt called to go looking to live it. I have always just sat by and it has kind of happened on it's own. So I am wandering what are your reasons for living or wanting to live PM? I find it amazing what has lead some people to this path! Also what has kept the ones who are looking from loosing it? I see the stories all the time of bad thing goin on in the poly dating world. Ok I think this should be an interesting thread cause we all have different reasons for living PM! :D
Click to expand...
Grateful for this
 
Gillfam said:
I like to ask this question cause some people live PM because of religious beliefs others are either personal or even cultural. Me personally what can I say? I am a product of my environment. It's how I was raised and I'm not really in it because of religious views (though I believe it is biblical right). I live it because it has just happened to work out that way. I never went looking for it. But I know others who are looking for it all the time. I always told people I believed in it, but was never really sure if I would ever live it my self. Then Shelly came along and we just connected. So Shelly became my second wife with Becky's blessing. Then Shelly passed away and we were mono once again. To me I was fine being mono and Just supporting PM for those who did live it. Then Jennie came along and I have to say I just knew one day she would be my wife. But Jen had very strong objections to PM. So after a few years I just thought we were done and maybe she would never come around. So I told her if the opportunity came for someone else I would be with them, but if not I was happy for Becky to remain friends, but I could no longer be around her and her son due to me getting too attached. She asked me to marry her because she could not see her or her son with out me in their lives. I told her she already knew the answer, but she also needed to see what Becky thought. Becky being Jen's best friend for a few years now said yes. Then we were married. I find it funny though many people tell me that all my reasons for having Jennie as a second wife should have been biblical.

They are not however because too me though I justify it with scripture, neither time did I go looking. Neither time did I really think we would live this way. Too me it just happened and was meant to be from Yah. I never however felt called to go looking to live it. I have always just sat by and it has kind of happened on it's own. So I am wandering what are your reasons for living or wanting to live PM? I find it amazing what has lead some people to this path! Also what has kept the ones who are looking from loosing it? I see the stories all the time of bad thing goin on in the poly dating world. Ok I think this should be an interesting thread cause we all have different reasons for living PM! :D
Click to expand...
@Gillfam, I don't know who you are or if you'll even be notified that we're responding to you, but I appreciate @Bina renewing this thread, because you provided a testimony that I believe serves as a good example to emulate.

Furthermore, I can't see any way in which your 'personal' reasons for marrying are not also consistent with Scripture. It seems to me that one could easily find multiple biblical passages that would encourage the approaches you took that led to the makeup of your family.

Bravo.
 
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