Sarahwhispers32
New Member
Hello everyone,
I do not know how far I actually want to go into detail at this point because I do not know how my boyfriend/ husband would appreciate it. There are a few things I would like to put out there though to help ME through this difficult time.
To start I should give you should give some background information. First, I have been with my boyfriend only since the end of August. I have to say I already feel like I have been through a life time of issues in this short time. For those of you that may remember me, this is Jenna. I was on this site at the end of the year last year up until about March. Okay, so since meeting Josh, I have to say my protected little world I have been living in for the last 3 years came to a complete halt. He and I meet by chance and that was it for me. I have not looked at or even felt any need to look at another man. The first couple of weeks I had to deal with ex girlfriends and even times when I knew he was out doing things with other women. I let it go because I wanted to show him that I am not the kind of woman to start something and not finish it. Meaning, every person in his 35 years has done nothing but leave, walk away, only care when they need something, and never support him when he has tried to clean his life up. So we got through that rough patch with smiles on our faces and thank fully my children were not too involved because my younger son was in a boarding school at the time and my other son was only here on weekends.
On those weekends we not only had my children but we had his as well and became an instant family, but still, at this point everything was very new to Josh. I have had my fair share of not being a good woman, not being understanding, overreacting, and just mean in past relationships, but for some reason unknowing to me at this point I feel compelled to try something different.
Okay, so since we have been together Josh has hit me three times pretty bad. This is nothing new for him, this has been his way for many years. Since the last time this has happened, we have seen a doctor and he has been put on an antidepressant which for him is something he has always refused to do in the past. He has been very good about taking every night without me reminding him to do so. He has confessed to the doctor what he has done and in my opinion genuinely feels guilty for doing what he did to me.
The next part of this story is about our children. His three children just moved to Arizona with their mother which was a very hard decision for him to make. We are in Pennsylvania so you can imagine how hard that decision was for him. The same day we drove to go say our goodbyes to them before they leave is the same day we got the call from my son's, Nicholas', school telling me that he attempted to hang himself in the student home bathroom. Nicholas is 11 years old with a passion for life and an innocence that most can not even compare to. So this news was a complete surprise. Josh and I were on our way home from seeing his kids when we got the call and he immediately took control of the situation and he drove me to the school to see Nick. On the way, Josh puts his foot down and says, that's it, Nick is coming home and I am going to be his father! That night we had to leave Nick behind because the school wanted him to go to the hospital to make sure he was not going to try and hurt himself again. We came home and Josh stayed up and prepared Nick's room for his homecoming. To my surprise Nicholas asks me if he is allowed to call Josh Dad. And without even a thought I said yes. Nick started school here at our home town and is doing very well and everything at home has been working very well. Until yesterday when I received a text message from a young girl telling me she is pregnant with Josh's baby.
So I called this young girl and reassured her that everything would be okay. The hard part about this is that he slept with her only a month ago and it only happened one time. I am whole heartily sure that this is the last time Josh has stepped out on me but was not going to tell me about it because he finally realized that I am not going anywhere and this is the life that he wants to lead - with me and our children. Together in our home he is my husband and I am his wife. I am unable to marry him right this second because we are having a hard time coming up with the money to get my divorce from my ex husband. Yes, Josh and I have been living together since literally day one and I know how all of you must think about that, but everything just feels right to me. So, for now I am dealing with this in a manor I am not familiar with in myself. I did not freak out, I did not yell or start any blaming. I simply told this girl that she will need to come to the house and that we all need to figure out what to do next. I am not even sure that this is Josh's baby because she did have a boyfriend as well who is no longer in the picture. I don't know if this is a desperate girl looking for help or wants Josh for herself, but I was very clear that I was not leaving him and that she can never try and pursue Josh again. I made her aware that I am a believer in Men doing the right thing and that I believe in plural marriage but this is not the way to go about it. So here is my thinking at this point. I am not going to allow this woman to see Josh without me, and wait until a test can be done to prove that Josh is the father. Josh does not even want to consider having another woman in our lives at this point. He feels very strongly that we are to have each other.
So the prayers I need are this: for me to be strong enough to get through this "gracefully" as Cecil says. Prayers for Josh to realize he can tell me anything and I am his best friend. Prayers for this young woman to get through this and the baby stays healthy. Prayers for my children because they are going to have a very hard time excepting this. Prayers for Josh and I's continued success in getting through things and being good parents that Nicholas needs. And anything else I may have missed. Oh and any comments or scriptures I can read would be very helpful.
Thank you all for taking the time to read this.
Jenna
I do not know how far I actually want to go into detail at this point because I do not know how my boyfriend/ husband would appreciate it. There are a few things I would like to put out there though to help ME through this difficult time.
To start I should give you should give some background information. First, I have been with my boyfriend only since the end of August. I have to say I already feel like I have been through a life time of issues in this short time. For those of you that may remember me, this is Jenna. I was on this site at the end of the year last year up until about March. Okay, so since meeting Josh, I have to say my protected little world I have been living in for the last 3 years came to a complete halt. He and I meet by chance and that was it for me. I have not looked at or even felt any need to look at another man. The first couple of weeks I had to deal with ex girlfriends and even times when I knew he was out doing things with other women. I let it go because I wanted to show him that I am not the kind of woman to start something and not finish it. Meaning, every person in his 35 years has done nothing but leave, walk away, only care when they need something, and never support him when he has tried to clean his life up. So we got through that rough patch with smiles on our faces and thank fully my children were not too involved because my younger son was in a boarding school at the time and my other son was only here on weekends.
On those weekends we not only had my children but we had his as well and became an instant family, but still, at this point everything was very new to Josh. I have had my fair share of not being a good woman, not being understanding, overreacting, and just mean in past relationships, but for some reason unknowing to me at this point I feel compelled to try something different.
Okay, so since we have been together Josh has hit me three times pretty bad. This is nothing new for him, this has been his way for many years. Since the last time this has happened, we have seen a doctor and he has been put on an antidepressant which for him is something he has always refused to do in the past. He has been very good about taking every night without me reminding him to do so. He has confessed to the doctor what he has done and in my opinion genuinely feels guilty for doing what he did to me.
The next part of this story is about our children. His three children just moved to Arizona with their mother which was a very hard decision for him to make. We are in Pennsylvania so you can imagine how hard that decision was for him. The same day we drove to go say our goodbyes to them before they leave is the same day we got the call from my son's, Nicholas', school telling me that he attempted to hang himself in the student home bathroom. Nicholas is 11 years old with a passion for life and an innocence that most can not even compare to. So this news was a complete surprise. Josh and I were on our way home from seeing his kids when we got the call and he immediately took control of the situation and he drove me to the school to see Nick. On the way, Josh puts his foot down and says, that's it, Nick is coming home and I am going to be his father! That night we had to leave Nick behind because the school wanted him to go to the hospital to make sure he was not going to try and hurt himself again. We came home and Josh stayed up and prepared Nick's room for his homecoming. To my surprise Nicholas asks me if he is allowed to call Josh Dad. And without even a thought I said yes. Nick started school here at our home town and is doing very well and everything at home has been working very well. Until yesterday when I received a text message from a young girl telling me she is pregnant with Josh's baby.
So I called this young girl and reassured her that everything would be okay. The hard part about this is that he slept with her only a month ago and it only happened one time. I am whole heartily sure that this is the last time Josh has stepped out on me but was not going to tell me about it because he finally realized that I am not going anywhere and this is the life that he wants to lead - with me and our children. Together in our home he is my husband and I am his wife. I am unable to marry him right this second because we are having a hard time coming up with the money to get my divorce from my ex husband. Yes, Josh and I have been living together since literally day one and I know how all of you must think about that, but everything just feels right to me. So, for now I am dealing with this in a manor I am not familiar with in myself. I did not freak out, I did not yell or start any blaming. I simply told this girl that she will need to come to the house and that we all need to figure out what to do next. I am not even sure that this is Josh's baby because she did have a boyfriend as well who is no longer in the picture. I don't know if this is a desperate girl looking for help or wants Josh for herself, but I was very clear that I was not leaving him and that she can never try and pursue Josh again. I made her aware that I am a believer in Men doing the right thing and that I believe in plural marriage but this is not the way to go about it. So here is my thinking at this point. I am not going to allow this woman to see Josh without me, and wait until a test can be done to prove that Josh is the father. Josh does not even want to consider having another woman in our lives at this point. He feels very strongly that we are to have each other.
So the prayers I need are this: for me to be strong enough to get through this "gracefully" as Cecil says. Prayers for Josh to realize he can tell me anything and I am his best friend. Prayers for this young woman to get through this and the baby stays healthy. Prayers for my children because they are going to have a very hard time excepting this. Prayers for Josh and I's continued success in getting through things and being good parents that Nicholas needs. And anything else I may have missed. Oh and any comments or scriptures I can read would be very helpful.
Thank you all for taking the time to read this.
Jenna
Jenna