Hi there, my name is Mariechen Higgins and I am the first wife of Ron Higgins. My sisterwife is Jan Louie and we have been in this lifestyle for 8 years.
The first 4 years were very rocky, as Jan had been my best friend for 28 years and Ron was my best friend and husband of 20 years. Her beloved husband of 37 years had died, and so we took her everywhere with us on our many trips around the country, to Alaska, Lousiana, Carribean, etc, as I did not want her to be alone. Living in AZ, we brought her down to stay with us for a year before this subject came up. I believed that we were to take in widows and care for them, but I did not think that we were seriosly considering poligamy.
Once the subject was brought up, I freaked. I did not know anyone who practiced this and if it was even scriptual. Over the years Ron and I had talked about it and intellectually I could see benefits, esp. for young mothers, senior citizens, widows, women who had never been married and wanted to be, and for many other situations, but not for me. So, I went on a journey through the bible to find out if it was ok scripturally. It was. Then what about the church history of it, if there was any? Again, it was a common practice until the 16th century when the Catholic church denounced the lifestyle for all people.
So, if it was ok with God, now how was I to cope with it? I felt betrayed, alone, angry, lost, that I was not 'good enough' for Ron, blaming both of them for hurting me, and it was terrible. However, I found out that Ron still loved me and he became a better, more loving husband towards me, not the other way around. I would try it for about 6 months and then I would kick Jan out of my home, and after 4 months I would invite her back in, then I would kick her out again. This happened twice, before finally I accepted the reality of this lifestyle. It was so hard on everyone and lots of fighting occurred. But I never stopped loving Jan and wanted only good for her.
So, over time, we all started finding our different roles and places within our family. As Ron often told us, this commitment before God was binding and could never be broken. As they had a covenant marriage, as or more binding that our own legal marriage, divorce was never an option. And, despite the advice from family, friends, and churches, I would never leave Ron! We lost friends, family members (although most of these came around), and church membership. (Ron decided to ask all kinds of pastors if they could prove, in the Bible, that this was against God's laws. Each time, the pastor would admit that he could not find anywhere that it was a sin. But all admitted that they would lose their congregation if they preached it from the pulpit.)
As I came around, the marriages flourished. Jan and I worked out our differences, as we both loved the Lord beyond our very lives, loved Ron absolutely, and each other as sisters. And we have found a better way to live, encouraging and supporting each other (treating each one with kindness and love).
Having been through the fire, I can truly say it is so much better than if it had been just Ron and me to face the future alone. Over time we realized, and God showed us, why He had brought us together in this lifestyle. It was to, together, face the future of Ron and his ALS. We have seen the need to support each other through it all. And it will get worse for us, this disease. But with God and each other, we will make it.
The first 4 years were very rocky, as Jan had been my best friend for 28 years and Ron was my best friend and husband of 20 years. Her beloved husband of 37 years had died, and so we took her everywhere with us on our many trips around the country, to Alaska, Lousiana, Carribean, etc, as I did not want her to be alone. Living in AZ, we brought her down to stay with us for a year before this subject came up. I believed that we were to take in widows and care for them, but I did not think that we were seriosly considering poligamy.
Once the subject was brought up, I freaked. I did not know anyone who practiced this and if it was even scriptual. Over the years Ron and I had talked about it and intellectually I could see benefits, esp. for young mothers, senior citizens, widows, women who had never been married and wanted to be, and for many other situations, but not for me. So, I went on a journey through the bible to find out if it was ok scripturally. It was. Then what about the church history of it, if there was any? Again, it was a common practice until the 16th century when the Catholic church denounced the lifestyle for all people.
So, if it was ok with God, now how was I to cope with it? I felt betrayed, alone, angry, lost, that I was not 'good enough' for Ron, blaming both of them for hurting me, and it was terrible. However, I found out that Ron still loved me and he became a better, more loving husband towards me, not the other way around. I would try it for about 6 months and then I would kick Jan out of my home, and after 4 months I would invite her back in, then I would kick her out again. This happened twice, before finally I accepted the reality of this lifestyle. It was so hard on everyone and lots of fighting occurred. But I never stopped loving Jan and wanted only good for her.
So, over time, we all started finding our different roles and places within our family. As Ron often told us, this commitment before God was binding and could never be broken. As they had a covenant marriage, as or more binding that our own legal marriage, divorce was never an option. And, despite the advice from family, friends, and churches, I would never leave Ron! We lost friends, family members (although most of these came around), and church membership. (Ron decided to ask all kinds of pastors if they could prove, in the Bible, that this was against God's laws. Each time, the pastor would admit that he could not find anywhere that it was a sin. But all admitted that they would lose their congregation if they preached it from the pulpit.)
As I came around, the marriages flourished. Jan and I worked out our differences, as we both loved the Lord beyond our very lives, loved Ron absolutely, and each other as sisters. And we have found a better way to live, encouraging and supporting each other (treating each one with kindness and love).
Having been through the fire, I can truly say it is so much better than if it had been just Ron and me to face the future alone. Over time we realized, and God showed us, why He had brought us together in this lifestyle. It was to, together, face the future of Ron and his ALS. We have seen the need to support each other through it all. And it will get worse for us, this disease. But with God and each other, we will make it.
. It was a pleasure to meet you and your other (thirds?) this past weekend. You all are a beautiful witness to the lifestyle and to its Great Creator. Bless you. ~Moriah
