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How to Proceed?

payn144

payn144

New Member
About a year ago I had this feeling that came into me about PM. I was not attending church and had not for about 5 years. I could not get this ideal of PM out of my mind and heart. I started researching the all about PM and eventually told my wife. Now, like I stated we had not been to church in 5 years, and when I told my wife what I truely believed, her first question was it GOD or Satan telling me these things. At that time I could not answer her truthfully. I stated doing more searching and reading the scripture, and by no means am I a expert on the bible. After talking she told me she did not pray anymore and I asked why? I told her that I pray everyday to GOD, but I could not understand why she didn't. We started going back to church in the Fall. She told me she gave it to GOD on the issue of PM and she would except what GOD has in store for her life. Is she expecting a booming voice or a burning bush to make her believe this is right? We have talked a few more times about PM and it has not been received well from my wife. I love my wife with all my heart, but I do feel like this was a sign from GOD to get back in church and right with GOD. How, can I get my wife to understand PM and deprogram her from the belief that it is wrong and a sin? I feel like I am living a double like by believing in PM and her not understanding! Am I turning my back on what GOD has planned for us? How, so I proceed with everything without feeling guilty toward GOD and my wife? Any advice is welcome!

Thanks,
Chris
 
Hi Chris, there are people on this site far better suited to answer your question than me but I'll give you my two cents.

You're going through a very common stage of poly awakening. You are living a double life and likely will be for sometime. You have already gotten further than most men by even accepting it and telling your wife. She has gotten farther than most women by not running away screaming. My suggestion is to not talk to her about it at all. Study Godly manhood and womanhood and let things work themselves out. This stage can take a long time. Let it. Good luck!
 
Thank You for your response. I think most men are not patient at least I know that I am not! We make our mind up and want to go to work, but it doesn't always work that way!
 
payn144 said:
After talking she told me she did not pray anymore and I asked why? I told her that I pray everyday to GOD, but I could not understand why she didn't. ... How, can I get my wife to understand PM and deprogram her from the belief that it is wrong and a sin?
Click to expand...
Check your priorities. You have a wife whose relationship with YHWH is shaky. What is more important, strengthening her relationship with YHWH, or persuading her about a minor aspect of theology that happens to be something you're personally interested in (plural marriage)? I hope the answer is obvious.

There's no rush on plural marriage. How many years was it from the time you realised you could legally have one wife until you actually got one? How many years might it be from the time you realise you can have two, until you end up with two, if ever? Relax. You've got more important things to focus on.

Pushing an issue she's uncomfortable with may actually make it harder for her to get closer to YHWH.

If He has this in His plans for your future, He'll make it happen. In the meantime, focus on being the best husband you can be to the wife you have. It will be good practice for being a husband to more wives!
 
Well I'm about an hour and a half from Atlanta. We should do a meet and greet sometime if you're ever up this way.
 
Samuel is right, if your house has foundation issues, best to focus on fixing the foundation before adding another story!
 
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