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How to live among ones that don't believe

P

pastor

New Member
Hello
Iam new here. Was a Pastor untill I resigned. Felt the Lord was telling me to take a Second wife. After much studing and my first wife agreeing.
Who I Love very much and very satisfied with just her.
Took a second wife.it has been about a year know. But still have alot of questions. Sometimes question if I did the right thing not that we are having problems.
Just feel that I am living a lie. Don"t see ever being able to preach again. Don't even go to church any more. Would be nice to have someone to share with. Well that is enough for now God Bless
 
I know of a church that supports the essential morality of polygyny, but still will not tolerate its practice within their congregation. It's unfortunate, because in my experience, the men who successfully husband multiple wives and a house full of children have an enormous amount of wisdom to share. (The men who aren't so successful at it are another story.) Women who successfully adapt to the polygynous lifestyle are frequently the most patient and kind people you will ever meet. Our churches need more people like them!

There is some hope, however. When Israel left Egypt they were overwhelmingly polygynous. The pattern of prophecy seems to indicate that great events such as the Exodus repeat themselves. I believe there is a greater Exodus coming and Isaiah 4:1 implies that the true church who comes out of apostasy will embrace polygyny as part of a larger mass repentance.
 
Hi "Pastor", and welcome. I know a bit about how your are feeling - we left active church life, for the "fringes", when I took a second wife, almost 12 years ago now. I'd like to say it gets easier - I'd like to say, but don't really think I can. :-) However, one thing has made a LOT of difference: fellowship with like-minded believers. I know that seems hard to come by - you may not even know anybody personally. But I'm here to tell you - there are more of us out there, but too many of us are also ALONE. The Internet can only help that so much. We need to met each other face to face - and that's what the Biblical Families retreats are about, and the church-planting ideas we have. Who knows, maybe you will pastor again some day. I hope you will stay in touch here, maybe your wives would like to met some of ours also - online a first. You are more then welcome to drop a personal email, and tell us where you are (if your in the US, it's quite possible you don't live that far from someone we already know, who'd be happy to get together with your family.)

Would also love to hear your story about how the Lord told you to take a Second wife! Share it in this forum, if you'd like.
 
Hi, pastor.

Just a word of encouragement (I hope!). I was involved in lay ministry in various capacities (worship music, youth, homeless outreach, teaching, etc., etc.) for almost 20 years. At first it was rather painful to "give up" on the institutional church. I have found a very full life and fellowship on the "outside", though, meeting with like-minded believers who also don't get along with corporate church (sometimes referred to around here as "McChurch"). Stay faithful to your calling and open to non-traditional, non-institutional avenues for fellowship (like, say, this forum and the retreats Nathan mentioned). Eventually, you're going to find yourself meeting with a few other like-minded families, probably in someone's home, and wondering why you didn't get out of the institutions sooner!

Hang in there, bro!
 
Hi again
Thanks for the notes I was surprised how many responses. here is a question for you all. Does anyone out there have kids with both of your wives? my first wife has 2 kids of her own that I really do consider my own. and then we have 4 together. and then one we adopted. Love to talk how you live. And I am trying to stay open to the things of God even when he offends my mind. Which has happened alot over the years. And also open to fellowshipping with like minded people. Which I do have to admit seems hard to believe there is that many people out there that are Christians. At this point even a nochristian some good.
Well I better get back to work. Bye the way self employed own a couple of store. didn't want any body to think I was writing this on someone elses time.
Truly Thanks again for writng and look forward to more
 
I have 4 children also, one with Julie, three with Nita (including twins) - ages 8-12. Of 12 years together we have done about an equal amount of living together, and living in two houses. The kids and I much prefer one, without question - but sometimes there are circumstances that make that two necessary. We are actually hoping to have a "connected" house later this year - think of it as 2 houses under 1 roof, and one "great room". Ask anything else you want - maybe we should take this discussion to a "family" topic.

You're not cold up there right now in Maine are you!?! You should think about a Florida vacation - especially if your kids are around mine in ages... It's 75 here today.
 
nathan
we can go any place you want for discussion just reply there and I will find it. Have 4 kids under 5 and the other 3 are 18,19, 22. So no kids the same as yours.
Thought of having a second house but would miss my kids to much. At work so much now. So it would interesting to hear what would be the benfits of having 2 homes. Would love to hear how people dealt with doctors and hospitals. Are you open with them when your 2nd wife gets pregant. enough for now
pastor
 
Wow, looks like my kids are in the middle of yours - my kids always enjoy younger kids though.
I'm guess your older kids are from your "first" wife, and younger from the "second"? (I dislike those terms, and I think we all understand why we don't want to denote that there's a "chief" wife - but when just communicating chronology, I don't have a better word choice yet - unless we want to fall back to "Julie, my wife of 12 years").

Can I ask how your older kids have received you having a 2nd wife? I am working hard with my kids now to make our family so important, that later when it's potentially an embarrassment to them socially, when they are trying to "fit in", that family allegiance will be stronger than any other pull.

I don't have much to offer in the way of "benefits" for 2 homes - if you are never in a situation where it is necessary, I think that's awesome. But sometimes someone is going through something so powerful (growing, hopefully!), that easing the stress on everyone by some partial separation may be helpful.
 
Believe it or not they are all from my first wife. How my older kids received the news about my second wife. when I told the girls one had been doing some checking online already. she had noticed me studing the subject so she was already prepared. Other one didn't say to much. My son kept it from him for several months thought he would go through the roof. He thinks allot of his mother. but when I finally told him he bascily said I trust you dad if you think it is of God then it must be. Wow I really am blessed with some really great kids. not to say we haven't had our problems. Don't know how they are going to act when this gets out. But they are pretty strong opinions of others doesn't bother them to much. They have seen what the people have done to me over the years being a pastor you get alot of hits sometimes.
 
This was an interesting thread that I don't think ever fully developed. Just bringing it back to life.

Blessings,
 
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