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hello folks

B

brother bob

New Member
I have been thinking about plural marriage for a long time and now have decided to get involved. I guess I need to know where to start I am 71 and able to support more than one loving wife. I can provide for any children of a union. I would like to start with a woman near my age at first but don't know where to find one with a pm attitude. any help would be welcome.
 
Bob its about getting involved in the community and developing friendships. There are no real shortcuts...and prayer.
 
Welcome Bob, glad to have you here. I encourage you to make the effort to get to know the men on this site. I think you will find some good support and wisdom.
 
Welcome Bob. This isn't really about hunting out a woman, but rather understanding and accepting God's will for our lives and the lives of others even where that goes against modern culture. Read through the old posts on the site and I look forward to getting to know you more.
 
Right. Its not about picking up women but providing them with a godly family and spiritual covering!!!
 
Relationship and community. It's what we were created for and the environment in which we shine. Seek Him first, apply yourself to relationship and community. Whether an additional wife (or wives) come to be a reality in your family, you may still be a blessing and a light to those you come in contact with.

Welcome Bob!
 
Amen, C4L!

Bob, I hope you don't feel put off by some of the responses. You asked a straightforward question and deserve a straightforward answer. The problem is that the only straightforward answer is that there is no formula and ultimately no simple, straightforward answer to your question. What we're trying to say here includes:

Be patient.
Get to know us and let us get to know you.
Check out some of what's already been written on the forums (but don't get lost in it and don't feel that you have to background check every point before you can ask a question).
The best approach may not be the direct "looking for a wife" approach, but an indirect "build the kingdom, build community, and see who you come in contact with" approach.
Be patient.

Many of us here are not so much about plural marriage as we are about being a certain kind of Christ-follower that is not afraid to buck the culture and the state church. Your particular expression of the spirit's work in your life may ultimately include another wife, or it may just go as far as awareness that our culture (including the state church) is completely jacked up in the matter of male/female relationships, assuming one's standard for these matters is the bible, and your particular brand of crazy might be something else. On the other hand, if your inquiry is limited to advice on plural marriage, we've got that too, assuming you're looking for a biblical pattern (which I hope is a safe assumption since you're looking for information here at Biblical Families).

On that note, props to you for already articulating that you recognize your responsibility to provide for any additional wife and children. That's a huge part of the biblical pattern, and the guys who rack up several wives and myriad children and end up on government assistance (let alone the Mormons that deliberately set out to 'bleed the beast') are a huge problem for us. Over and over again it gets called out in judicial decisions and political analysis that polygamists are a (one judge's words) "threat to the social safety net", and that kind of stereotype (that's all it is) is unfortunately grounded in some historical truth. So kudos to you for getting your willingness and ability to provide on the table up front.

Welcome to Biblical Families!
 
Sometimes, life just gets in the way.
The year before last, I had the great experience working with a 30-ish year old women who was firmly established in a relationship (but not yet married). She is thoroughly competent and professional in her work. I had always admired her, since we first me a year before that, but I had no romantic interest in her, as she was in a relationship.
Then last year, we worked in different sections, and just at the start of this year, as she was moving into my section at work, her long standing romantic relationship collapsed.
For the first half of this year we danced around very carefully, like two porcupines mating, and in July we settled down to a comfortable workplace friendship (I have massive interpersonal relationship hang-ups, and she was coming down from a broken relationship). She knows I am married, and knows a little of my home life. She has asked flatly 'why do I stay', to which I did not adequately respond but did say that I was doing the right thing by honouring my wedding vows.
She has indicated that she is not willing to share (she quoted Johnny Depp “if you love two people at the same time, choose the second. Because if you really loved the first one, you wouldn't have fallen for the second.”) - but that view does not fall into a Biblical understanding of marriage, because I do love two people, and am obliged to continue providing for the first one.
My work colleague is not a Christian, but knows that I am; we have had a number of conversations in and around work. The reason why her immediately previous relationship collapsed is that her boyfriend/then fiancé of seven years finally told her that he did not want children, and my friend definitely does.
My wife has said that she will not share, and that I 'should learn to be content with what (I) have'.

Life is interesting. I pray that God will save my friend's soul, and raise up a suitable husband for her, and if it is not me, then although I will be broken-hearted, it will be in her best interests - I will have to learn to get over it and move on.
God may never bring me a marriage relationship which had thought I would get (through mono or poly), and I may never witness effectively to the salvation of another soul; But at least I am in a better relationship with all our children now that they are adults, and can see their parents' relationship through informed adult eyes, and I trust that one day, God will take me into His eternal presence all because of the perfect and finished work of His Son, our Saviour, Jesus Christ.
 
Hi Bob.

Fascinating first post, and welcome to Biblical Families.

As someone said about Chick comics, "when you introduce a character with an eye patch, at least provide a back story...".

Cheers,

ylop
 
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