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Goin' Live

Daniel DeLuca

Daniel DeLuca

Seasoned Member
Real Person
Male
I have registered the domain, and performed some preliminary work.

In a couple of hours you should be able to sign up, which will give me live data that I can work with, so you are going to have to trust me.

christianpolygamymatch.com

Take a look and feel free to post suggestions. I am promoting it here first, so don't be surprised if there aren't any potential matches available yet, especially if you are a family looking for a sister wife.
 
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Daniel DeLuca said:
I have regiostered the domain, and performed some preliminary work.

In a couple of hours you should be able to sign up, which will give me live data that I can work with, so you are going to have to trust me.

christianpolygamymatch.com

Take a look and feel free to post suggestions. I am promoting it here first, so don't be surprised if there aren't any potential matches available yet, especially if you are a family looking for a sister wife.
Click to expand...
:eek::eek: :)
 
:eek::eek: is right. I entered my own information in the Sign up page and I am not seeing it in the database. I need to do more research. In the meanwhile, you can look at the UI and make suggestions as you see fit. I will let you know when I have something where I can store and retrieve the data.
 
May Yah’s will be done in your adventure.
Please don’t interpret lack of participation as judgment of your efforts. I applaud from a safe distance.

(I think that this is one of those “don’t try this at home unless you are...well....Daniel”)
 
Yay! I can see a couple of entries from the Vent Your Rage page. Now I can see all the nasty comments that people want to spew! Progress!
 
Haha! I checked my email, and that is where the information from the signup page got dumped. Hold off on entering personal info, until I can correct this. It seems Word Press wants me to enter all this info into the database myself. Arrrrgggg!
 
Good on you Daniel for being the first to be proactive and actually try and make this happen.

Technical points:
  • You need to look at your DNS settings. When you get to the website, the URL displays as "http://gator2012.temp.domains/~christch/". You're using a simple redirect. You should adjust this so that the URL of the website truly is christianpolygamymatch.com (or at a bare minimum use URL cloaking to make it look like that site).
  • "Choose a State" assumes people live in the USA, but adds Canada and Mexico as if they are other US states. This looks weird and badly functional. I assume your intention is to find people who live near each other, but Canada is as big as the entire USA and has many provinces of similar sizes to your states. The simplest functional solution (that is easy to code) would be to have two dropdowns: "Country" containing a list of every country in the world, and "State" containing a list of US states with "Not applicable" being the first, default option. Then people can give you the information you are looking for without being limited, confused or even offended by your current simplistic dropdown.
I think you are making too many assumptions and giving too much fodder for haters with your blanket ban on divorced women. You're also unintentionally encouraging women to lie about their circumstances and not declare past relationships - a very bad way to begin.

You are claiming to cater for people from all denominations other than mormonism, yet immediately take a narrowly denominational position on divorce. I see this is a particular personal bugbear of yours, but I think you are undermining the entire website by making that narrow issue such a strong focus of your homepage and signup forms.

You also have no option for "widow" or "widower". Are they "single"? If so, might not a divorced woman seeking a family simply call herself "single" too, starting her entire interaction with deception?

Far better to let everyone sign up, encouraging them to be honest about their situation without fear of judgement. Then, once inside, hear their story. You might be able to find them a husband - by pointing them back to their first!

What's happening behind the scenes? Do you have dating website software, or a forum? Or is it just Daniel manually matchmaking people?
 
Also, in the "About" section, "The Bible specifically forbids polyandry and polyamory."
How are you defining polyamory? It's a broad term, and polygamy can be considered a subset of it, or not. To say that all polyamory is forbidden you first have to define it as something like "all relations other than polygyny and monogamy", which is rather technical. I'd drop the debatable modern "polyamory" term and just write what you actually mean.
 
FollowingHim said:
Good on you Daniel for being the first to be proactive and actually try and make this happen.

Technical points:
  • You need to look at your DNS settings. When you get to the website, the URL displays as "http://gator2012.temp.domains/~christch/". You're using a simple redirect. You should adjust this so that the URL of the website truly is christianpolygamymatch.com (or at a bare minimum use URL cloaking to make it look like that site).
  • "Choose a State" assumes people live in the USA, but adds Canada and Mexico as if they are other US states. This looks weird and badly functional. I assume your intention is to find people who live near each other, but Canada is as big as the entire USA and has many provinces of similar sizes to your states. The simplest functional solution (that is easy to code) would be to have two dropdowns: "Country" containing a list of every country in the world, and "State" containing a list of US states with "Not applicable" being the first, default option. Then people can give you the information you are looking for without being limited, confused or even offended by your current simplistic dropdown.
I think you are making too many assumptions and giving too much fodder for haters with your blanket ban on divorced women. You're also unintentionally encouraging women to lie about their circumstances and not declare past relationships - a very bad way to begin.

You are claiming to cater for people from all denominations other than mormonism, yet immediately take a narrowly denominational position on divorce. I see this is a particular personal bugbear of yours, but I think you are undermining the entire website by making that narrow issue such a strong focus of your homepage and signup forms.

You also have no option for "widow" or "widower". Are they "single"? If so, might not a divorced woman seeking a family simply call herself "single" too, starting her entire interaction with deception?

Far better to let everyone sign up, encouraging them to be honest about their situation without fear of judgement. Then, once inside, hear their story. You might be able to find them a husband - by pointing them back to their first!

What's happening behind the scenes? Do you have dating website software, or a forum? Or is it just Daniel manually matchmaking people?
Click to expand...
First point, duly noted. Having just gotten this thing live, that was one of the bugbears I noticed. I am hosting on HostGator, but I registered on Domains.com. That gave me fits for a while.
Second point...that was intentional, and it will stay that way for the time being, until this thing really grows, but once it does, I will certainly explore that option. I do want to avoid having a bunch of Filipino women flooding the site, when I don't think it is realistic for most American men who will not legally marry the woman.

This site is intended to cater more to families that won't acept the notion of marrying the wife of another man. Theoretically, families who are open to marrying a divorced woman, are not going to have as much difficulty finding a woman from an abusive marrige, who are willing to acknowledge that polygamy can be a much better solution than monogamy. I do anticipate having to remove some dishonest people from the site, if and when it comes to my attention that they are not who they say that they are. If some of them slip through the cracks and end up joining a family, I won't have a guilty conscience about it. After all, each family that decides to do so, will have to decide for themselves if that is what they want to do.

Thank you for the Widow/Widower suggestion. I will definitely take that under consideration, as it might be something that would make someone in that stage of life feel like they are not welcome. I will definitely make an effort to point any divorced women who sign up, back to their first husband, if and when I determine that this has occurred.

I do not have any dating software yet. I am a programmer, so I will have to figure this out myself, but I am definitely open to suggestions from other programmers who might be aware of free software that I could use. I don't intend to match anybody up, but I will try to keep the searches restricted to similar faith groups and regions, and try to make sure that women aren't courting multiple offers at the same time. Also, I want to make sure they are not overwhelmed by the men who are interested in them, keeping the number of females that they are able to engage in, limited to one per month, and only with women who are not interactively engaging with a family. That is how I envision it. Without having the data automatically entered into the Database though, I realize this is going to be a mammoth task, which I am hoping to complete this coming week, while I am still on vacation. Also I do intend to monetize this site with advertisements, eventually.

Thank you for all the suggestions. I really appreciate it!
 
FollowingHim said:
Also, in the "About" section, "The Bible specifically forbids polyandry and polyamory."
How are you defining polyamory? It's a broad term, and polygamy can be considered a subset of it, or not. To say that all polyamory is forbidden you first have to define it as something like "all relations other than polygyny and monogamy", which is rather technical. I'd drop the debatable modern "polyamory" term and just write what you actually mean.
Click to expand...
My thought is that most people who know what the term means, understand that it is how we understand it, as a non polygynyous form of polygamy.
 
Daniel DeLuca said:
Second point...that was intentional, and it will stay that way for the time being, until this thing really grows, but once it does, I will certainly explore that option. I do want to avoid having a bunch of Filipino women flooding the site, when I don't think it is realistic for most American men who will not legally marry the woman.
Click to expand...
I don't know why Americans always assume it will be Americans viewing their websites.

Also, I'm suggesting this from a development perspective. This is all going into a database field. If you start with a field in your database called "state" that also includes names of countries (Canada and Mexico), you're creating yourself a mess that you'll have to clean up later. If you start with both "Country" and "State", even if "State" only includes US states to begin with (or ever), it's a structure that is fully expandable and won't ever need to be altered. And if you don't give the option of other countries, and someone does decide to sign up from somewhere else, they'll just pick somewhere random that is on your list, making the mess even messier.
Daniel DeLuca said:
I do not have any dating software yet. I am a programmer, so I will have to figure this out myself, but I am definitely open to suggestions from other programmers who might be aware of free software that I could use.
Click to expand...
I know of no free dating software, but there are at least two paid dating software suites available for download, one of which from memory was a few hundred US dollars when I looked at it ages ago. In other words, the price of a couple of days of programmer time. Although I'm sure you could write yourself a whole dating software suite just for this website and go through all the fuss of troubleshooting it and ironing out the bugs and adding features all by yourself, I think this is a case where you'd be far better off just buying something that somebody else has already done that work on and putting your time into actually setting up the website.

I'm sure @nathan would be fully capable of writing forum software from scratch for this website if he had unlimited time, but he did the wise thing and purchased a xenForo licence, for the same reason.
Daniel DeLuca said:
This site is intended to cater more to families that won't acept the notion of marrying the wife of another man.
Click to expand...
I think you fail to appreciate the depth of complexity of the divorced women issue and the problems you are creating for yourself. Have a careful think about the following situations. Think about (1) whether you consider them divorced, (2) whether they consider themselves divorced, (3) whether you would consider them available for marriage and welcome to sign up, and (4) whether they would consider themselves welcome based on the text on the website.
  • A woman who married and divorced before she became a Christian. Since her conversion she has been single.
  • A non-virgin woman, who has never been legally married, but was in a de-facto relationship for some time before she became a Christian. Since her conversion she has been single.
  • A non-virgin woman, who has never been legally married, was in a de-facto relationship for some time as a Christian, but left because her partner was physically abusive. Since her conversion she has been single.
  • A non-virgin woman who has never been married or in a de-facto relationship, but has had casual sex she now regrets.
I think all except the first would consider themselves "single" and would sign up as "single" women. However, you would probably consider all except the last to be more accurately described as "divorced". Which are welcome? Which are not? How are they to know?

You're opening a massive can of worms.

I think you're far better off simply casting your net wide, making the site welcoming and friendly, bringing people in, and sorting them out later. Just like the parable of the net (Matthew 13:47-48). Otherwise you run too much risk of scaring away some women you'd actually want to welcome in but who got the wrong impression, and you're already going to struggle to have any women sign up at all.
Again, the kingdom of heaven is like unto a net, that was cast into the sea, and gathered of every kind:
Which, when it was full, they drew to shore, and sat down, and gathered the good into vessels, but cast the bad away.
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Kudos to you, @Daniel DeLuca, for taking the bull by the horn to create a dating site that fits in with your vision of what kind of matches would be acceptable in your eyes.

I happen to personally agree with @FollowingHim in regard to your choice to exclude divorced women, but it is your site, and therefore it is your freedom to choose who you want your patrons to be.

I'm also thankful for and impressed by @FollowingHim's level of detail in regard to the coding advice he's been giving you. I concur with him about the efficacy of purchasing preconfigured dating-site software that you can adjust to your specifics. You have better things to do with your time, and I suspect that, if you put the word out that you need some funding for it after you determine its price, brothers who share your vision of what the clientele for the site should be will be more than willing to toss you some investment money. I know I would be.

I won't be signing up, but only because I am unwilling to restrict myself from marrying women who have been divorced. At the same time, I do sincerely support your choice to tackle the difficulties of managing that can of worms, as @FollowingHim referred to it, because you are always consistent in your position that divorced women are off-limits to those whom you believe are following the proper dictates of Scripture.
 
Keith Martin said:
I happen to personally agree with @FollowingHim in regard to your choice to exclude divorced women, but it is your site, and therefore it is your freedom to choose who you want your patrons to be.
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Another situation you are failing to consider @Daniel DeLuca is that of the unjustly divorced woman - the woman who never wanted divorce, but whose husband has chosen to abandon her, and who has very clearly shown through both actions and time that there is zero chance of her ever reconciling with him. Is such a woman to be excluded?

Now, bear in mind that even if you personally think that such a woman is not an option for you personally, I trust you can recognise that this (like some of the other situations I mentioned earlier) is a grey area, and other men may choose to marry such a woman. Are those men welcome?
Keith Martin said:
...a dating site that fits in with your vision of what kind of matches would be acceptable in your eyes.
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The fundamental problem with this is that it makes the website seem like the work of one man, with only women who that one man would consider as options for him to personally marry being permitted. No scope for women who he may not be interested in, but other men may. This makes it come across as one man's way of fishing for his own wife, and not a service truly aimed at blessing the wider Church. I'm not accusing you of having this sole intention, I am being honest with you and saying this is how it looks. It's seriously offputting and makes it not attractive to sign up to.
 
Hi Daniel,
It looks like you're off to a great start.
I noticed in the drop-down on the vent your rage page, it says
"Polygaamy is more than one man, multiple women".
Is that supposed to say polygamy rather than polygaamy?
 
eye4them said:
Hi Daniel,
It looks like you're off to a great start.
I noticed in the drop-down on the vent your rage page, it says
"Polygaamy is more than one man, multiple women".
Is that supposed to say polygamy rather than polygaamy?
Click to expand...
Thank you @eye4them! I have made the correction.
 
FollowingHim said:
I don't know why Americans always assume it will be Americans viewing their websites.
Click to expand...


I wasn't making that assumption. I just don't know how well I will be able to manage the site, with more than one country.

Also, I'm suggesting this from a development perspective. This is all going into a database field. If you start with a field in your database called "state" that also includes names of countries (Canada and Mexico), you're creating yourself a mess that you'll have to clean up later. If you start with both "Country" and "State", even if "State" only includes US states to begin with (or ever), it's a structure that is fully expandable and won't ever need to be altered. And if you don't give the option of other countries, and someone does decide to sign up from somewhere else, they'll just pick somewhere random that is on your list, making the mess even messier.
Click to expand...

With that in mind, it may be better for me to remove Canada and Mexico, for the time being, until the site gets to a point where I am ready to expand.

I know of no free dating software, but there are at least two paid dating software suites available for download, one of which from memory was a few hundred US dollars when I looked at it ages ago. In other words, the price of a couple of days of programmer time. Although I'm sure you could write yourself a whole dating software suite just for this website and go through all the fuss of troubleshooting it and ironing out the bugs and adding features all by yourself, I think this is a case where you'd be far better off just buying something that somebody else has already done that work on and putting your time into actually setting up the website.

I'm sure @nathan would be fully capable of writing forum software from scratch for this website if he had unlimited time, but he did the wise thing and purchased a xenForo licence, for the same reason.
Click to expand...

I will see what I can get done in a week's worth of time. I will also have to price it out to see whether I can really afford the additional expense.

I think you fail to appreciate the depth of complexity of the divorced women issue and the problems you are creating for yourself. Have a careful think about the following situations. Think about (1) whether you consider them divorced, (2) whether they consider themselves divorced, (3) whether you would consider them available for marriage and welcome to sign up, and (4) whether they would consider themselves welcome based on the text on the website.
  • A woman who married and divorced before she became a Christian. Since her conversion she has been single.
  • A non-virgin woman, who has never been legally married, but was in a de-facto relationship for some time before she became a Christian. Since her conversion she has been single.
  • A non-virgin woman, who has never been legally married, was in a de-facto relationship for some time as a Christian, but left because her partner was physically abusive. Since her conversion she has been single.
  • A non-virgin woman who has never been married or in a de-facto relationship, but has had casual sex she now regrets.
I think all except the first would consider themselves "single" and would sign up as "single" women. However, you would probably consider all except the last to be more accurately described as "divorced". Which are welcome? Which are not? How are they to know?
Click to expand...
Nope. I would only consider the first one to be off limits. The men who defiled the non-virgin women, are responsible to marry them, but since they don't care what the Bible says, they are the ones responsible for her situation.

You're opening a massive can of worms.

I think you're far better off simply casting your net wide, making the site welcoming and friendly, bringing people in, and sorting them out later. Just like the parable of the net (Matthew 13:47-48). Otherwise you run too much risk of scaring away some women you'd actually want to welcome in but who got the wrong impression, and you're already going to struggle to have any women sign up at all.
Click to expand...

I am opening it up to those I believe I can in good conscience open it up for. If I had wanted only virgin women to sign up, I would have said so.
 
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