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Female sexuality

Robeld

Robeld

Seasoned Member
Real Person
Female
So I will preface this discussion with a disclaimer:
No, I am not normally awake at this time of the morning but I'm still dealing with jet lag from crossing 7 time zones, so here I am.

Anywayyys, I have been reading some articles/comments from another blog recommended by a well known member and am feeling very compelled to start this discussion. This other forum is not a poly site per se, but does a very good job in covering all topics related to biblical marriage. I was reading the questions and comments at the end of one of the articles on this blog and was horrified and heartbroken at the same time. So many men were talking about their sexless marriages for one reason or another, mainly due to their feminist controlling wives, IMO. But I think, no I know, that there needs to be some legit counseling out there for women especially who are uneducated in how to be sexual beings! Thoughts anyone? Can we have some of those candid discussions here?
 
Go for it... interesting topic.
We’re already taught to be sexual, do it and you get what you want, withhold and you get what you both want... I’m joking. I think in the conservative Christian culture you have the idea that sex is for men, and to ‘play’ or enjoy it yourself you sin. Sex has also been treated as a treat for the man, or a form of abuse and not an act of love and a pleasureable responsibility.
 
I know of spouses who have lived in sexless marriages. I really don't think it should be called marriage though. If no sex means annulment of marriage (not a divorce) then I think years of no sexual relations should result in calling whatever you still have by another name.

I cannot personally fathom such a thing.
I find the week of mandated abstinence every month feels more like a month and is far longer then I like.

After reading and researching another controversial subject, I suspect that modern "all off" circumcision may contribute more then we know to the breakdown in relationships between men and women. The difference is a totally unknown element to most people. They only know the reality of their own experience.....which with moral people is limited.

Wrong thinking about sex abounds. It is up to each individual what they choose to believe, and how they choose to treat their partner.

To tell your partner "YOU have a problem" is like saying "YOUR end of the boat is sinking." To deprive your partner is to cheat yourself. Some have yet to figure that out.
 
Joleneakamama said:
Wrong thinking about sex abounds. It is up to each individual what they choose to believe, and how they choose to treat their partner.

To tell your partner "YOU have a problem" is like saying "YOUR end of the boat is sinking." To deprive your partner is to cheat yourself. Some have yet to figure that out.
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The boat analogy is awesome!! :D
You’re the Queen of words!
 
Most of the comments were made by men about their wives. I believe that is the most common scenario. It sounds like you are proactive and a reader/researcher like myself. I suspect we are kind of the exception to the rule, which is very sad. As much as I hurt for the men, my heart breaks for the women as well. Much work needs to be done in this area...
 
We live in a society where 1 in 4 or 1 in 3 women/girls ( depending on which stats you view) I am a survivor of rape and child sex abuse. The mainstream church just tells women to shut up endure and submit more if we are having a difficult time being intimate with our husbands. I am not saying that a sexless marriage is acceptable. It would help so much to overcome if there was biblical counselling available that was empathetic to survivors of sexual trauma.
 
SerenaJoy82 said:
We live in a society where 1 in 4 or 1 in 3 women/girls ( depending on which stats you view) I am a survivor of rape and child sex abuse. The mainstream church just tells women to shut up endure and submit more if we are having a difficult time being intimate with our husbands. I am not saying that a sexless marriage is acceptable. It would help so much to overcome if there was biblical counselling available that was empathetic to survivors of sexual trauma.
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Serena, I was a foster parent 20 + years ago and so I can attest to the truth of what you are saying. I was over at a friend's (also a foster parent) house one day, and of the 5 females present I was the only one who had not been sexually traumatized in some way. It woke me up to the reality. I had an older lady in the church I belonged to at the time who had been molested by an uncle. She had a heart for those in the church who had experienced a similar story and started a support group. It was life changing for many members. I will try to rack my brain as to what the name of the program was. I recall looking at the curriculum back then and thinking it was phenomenal.
 
SerenaJoy82 said:
We live in a society where 1 in 4 or 1 in 3 women/girls ( depending on which stats you view) I am a survivor of rape and child sex abuse. The mainstream church just tells women to shut up endure and submit more if we are having a difficult time being intimate with our husbands. I am not saying that a sexless marriage is acceptable. It would help so much to overcome if there was biblical counselling available that was empathetic to survivors of sexual trauma.
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Anyone else have this story that feels safe enough to share?
 
Robhar said:
Serena, I was a foster parent 20 + years ago and so I can attest to the truth of what you are saying. I was over at a friend's (also a foster parent) house one day, and of the 5 females present I was the only one who had not been sexually traumatized in some way. It woke me up to the reality. I had an older lady in the church I belonged to at the time who had been molested by an uncle. She had a heart for those in the church who had experienced a similar story and started a support group. It was life changing for many members. I will try to rack my brain as to what the name of the program was. I recall looking at the curriculum back then and thinking it was phenomenal.
Click to expand...
I found it!
https://theallendercenter.org/store/products/the-wounded-heart/
 
Sexuality is something I have struggled with for many years. I lacked long term relationships and because I am not overly girly many in my family accused me of being a lesbian etc.
I do have some rape trauma background and that has had an impact on my relationship with my husband. There are certain things he can't do or some ways he can't touch me because they are triggers. Sometimes, it involves us starting something sexual in nature and having to stop and work through it. I am greatful for the amazing hubby that I have that he would work through those issues with me.
 
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