Explaining to the children

[rachelle1973]

My 3 year old asked this morning why we weren't going to church. Its because they have declared that we are sinning and that by going to their church we will make them look bad. To be honest there really isn't a church in this area that we could go to and not face persecution. So we have chose not to go to any church. How do I explain to all my children age 11-3 that we won't be going. It is a terrible loss of support and I feel that I am removing something important in their life.

 

[Joleneakamama]

I grew up going to church, and I think I understand your feeling here. You are feeling that it's a source of support, and you remember it fondly from the days when you attended and were accepted.
I would just like to point out to you, that what they offer is NOT fellowship, but is rather close to temptation. The fellowship they offer comes at the price of the truth, and caving into to man's pseudo morals in the marriage dept. The support they offer is conditional, and so really isn't support at all, and if you have to worry about it being recalled and taken back because of man's preferences.... why would you want it?
We don't currently attend anywhere, because we KNOW they wouldn't like us for long. Poly is only one of the areas where our views and not mainstream, and as soon as we were honest about the beliefs we do hold, it would be over.
I know though, that for myself, I would much rather have the confidence that comes with knowing what I believe, and why I believe it, and the surety that the truth is the way to freedom.
I wouldn't trade what I have, for the fearful, "have to worry about offending someone" sort of religion that most people seem to be living in. And don't get me wrong, I'm not out there trying to offend, but I have realized that people who are offended at the truth, are not the sort that have the staying power for conflicts, or the strength of character that makes them loyal and trustworthy. In short you can't count on them anyway, and it's better to know that before you get into a bad situation.
We still have contact with friends and neighbors that attend church, the only thing we are "missing" is the worry of being kicked out of "their" church.
Not a bad place to be in my opinion.
Really, what you are giving your children, by setting an example of living by the word, and standing on your own convictions, is worth so much more then what they would have if you just went with the flow.

 

[FollowingHim]

On Rachelle's request, I have moved this from Ladies Only to Family Issues, so the men can comment also. I will also repost two comments that myself and Jack accidentally made while it was in ladies only, and which I previously removed. I hope people are able to offer Rachelle further helpful advice.

 

[jack]

rachelle1973, I read Your post. My question to You would be; Why would You feel bad about leaving a so called church, where the people that went there were of opposit mind to You? If You look in the scriptures You'll see that most people don't have a clue what it says. I'll be willing to bet You that 90% or more of the people that go there, or any of the pagan temples, commit much greater sin than You, especially if they're only accuseing You of Polygyny, which is no sin at all. I believe the term was; dust off Your sandals, as You're leaving their presence. You should do some research into why the US government hated the Mormans, I have. Poly is The Creator's answer to the corporations, one man with multiple wives could become too powerful for the STATE to control. Also You'll find in the writtings of the perverted Congress, when they were planing what to do with the Mormans, their theory that if men took more than one wife, there would not be enough prostitutes for them. Their own words. My suggestion to You would be to teach Your offspring the Truth about all things, just be sure it is truth, even about other people. Most everything You've been taught in the Public Fool systems, and the Pagan Temples, is exactly backwards to the teaching of the Scriptures.

Jay

 

[FollowingHim]

My family stopped attending church when I was 9, after leaving each local church in succession for different reasons until my parents ran out of options, long story! Nothing to do with polygamy, other things. This was actually a great thing for me, and it set me up very well in my Christian walk, because my parents managed it extremely well at least in the first few years.

My father established a regular "church" time for us every Sunday morning. However "church" meant everyone had to read the Bible together in silence for half an hour. Each child had an age-appropriate translation (or illustrated bible story book for the youngest), so it was achievable for everyone. After half an hour we would briefly discuss what we had been talking about. "Church" always finished well before lunch, so we had plenty of time to keep reading after the formal time had ended if we were particularly interested and didn't want to stop.

This established the Bible as the sole authority for faith in my mind, rather than the words of a pastor. Along with Answers In Genesis literature on Creation, (which we'd often spend Sunday afternoon reading) it gave me a solid faith in the reliability of scripture. Ultimately it led me here, accepting polygyny as valid purely because the Bible does not condemn it.

Don't approach this as a negative. Approach it as a positive. You and your children now have a great opportunity to define your own walk with God, and study the topics that most fascinate you. Get the children enthusiastic about this idea. My father added some motivation to our bible reading by offering us a reward of $100 once we had read the New Testament from start to finish - it worked really well, but you don't need to do exactly the same!

Also, build up a stock of good Christian literature that supports taking the Bible literally and inspires young people to find this interesting and valuable. Creation literature is perfect for this, it is a fascinating topic (everyone loves animal etc), relates to what they may be learning in science in their schoolwork, and is the one critical area where the accuracy of the Bible is most frequently challenged by secular society. If Genesis is correct, the rest of the Bible is reliable. If Genesis is just a fairy tale, then anything else might be also, you can pick whatever bits of the Bible you like to believe and ignore the rest.

Ensure they have other times to catch up with friends so they don't miss the fellowship. Although we did not attend Sunday church, once we were old enough us children attended the local Baptist youth group, which was valuable as well. Your children won't be seen as heretics as much as you, and will probably be welcome to youth groups, even if only because the church hopes to convert them from your evil ways! This gives them a chance to get to know other Christian young people.

The one mistake my parents made in my mind was not working harder to maintain some form of adult fellowship, a home group or something. The Bible is clear that we must not neglect meeting together. Try to keep attending a home group or some sort of Christian fellowship in your area at least occasionally, to keep getting new thoughts through interaction with others. If you really cannot do this, then use Biblical Families as that fellowship. But fellowship with other believers is absolutely vital to your walk with God.

 

[FollowingHim]

AIG do condemn polygamy occasionally, however usually only as a side-comment during their frequent condemnation of homosexuality. You will struggle to find any Christian organisation that accepts polygamy, we'll never find anything we consider "perfect" unless we never talk to anyone outside a close wee group of like-minded people - and if you start down that route you end up in your own little cult. As Mark said, we just need to teach our children to trust the Bible itself, not blindly accept the words of any man.

The various creation science organisations do have excellent literature for even young children on how we must trust God's word in every area. As you get older and read further into it, you find that they are actually sometimes hypocritical about this, and don't always follow the principle themselves (such as with polygamy). However the principle itself is sound, and is taught generally well in their literature. It's a lot safer than most other things your children could be reading!