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Deleting information from the forum

FollowingHim

Administrator
Staff member
Real Person
Male
Occasionally people for various reasons wish to remove content they have posted here, and/or leave the forum entirely.

When this occurs for a reason that is stressful, I tend to get contacted by people asking me to urgently do something about it. I then have to have a detailed conversation with them to figure out what is happening and what they are actually requesting, before I can then decide how to sort it out. Unfortunately often in such situations their need is urgent, or they are emotionally upset, and a long conversation is not what they were wanting to have.

In this post I want to outline a clear policy around removing content from the forum, to make it clearer and easier for everybody. The situation is very different for removal of personal information, and leaving the forum entirely, so I will address both separately.

From the perspective of the ministry, the past discussions on this forum are an invaluable teaching resource. Most of us spent many hours reading old discussions before signing up. We try to preserve old discussions as much as possible to retain their teaching value, and are reluctant to delete comments from them as this has the potential to make the conversation confusing and unreadable - or even remove one viewpoint entirely and leave it one-sided. When people were the minority view in a conversation their posts can be essential to retain balance and ensure future readers are not steered towards the opposite viewpoint. And when people are in difficult personal situations, their posts can be some of the most valuable contributions which others can learn from - even a disastrous situation can be invaluable, even if only as a warning. If a situation is something others could learn from, we would prefer to anonymise the details (names, location etc) and leave it visible than to delete it.

This policy simply puts in writing the way I have been balancing these competing interests for a number of years. It explains what you can do yourself, and when and how to ask for assistance.


Help, I shared personal information and I need it gone!

Specific posts:

  • Depending on how old the post is and your own privileges on the site, there may be "Edit" and "Delete" buttons under your post. If so, feel free to edit or delete the post yourself.
  • If these buttons don't appear, click the "Report" button to flag the post for a moderator to look at, and in the message ask the moderator to remove the post.
  • If someone else has shared personal information about you, or has quoted a post of yours that you want deleted, report their post also and ask the moderator to edit or remove as appropriate.
Entire threads (e.g. a thread discussing your own personal situation):
  • Click the "Report" button on the first post in the thread, and ask a moderator to remove the entire thread.
As a general rule, the staff will not do a blanket deletion of every post someone has ever made, because this breaks too many past conversations. If something needs to be removed, please be specific as to what and why. If the reason seems insufficient and the staff see more value in retaining the conversation for archival purposes we may reject the request, or just edit a post instead of deleting it.

Other content
You may have also posted content in these places, which you should be able to edit or delete yourself. Hover over your username (top right of the page) to view these:
  • Profile page. Edit under "Personal Details".
  • Signature. Edit under "Signature"
  • Messages on your "wall". Edit under "Your Profile Page"
Remember to click "Save Changes" on these pages after any edits.

General privacy
You can take a range of measures to determine who can view your profile page, and who can contact you privately. Check out your "Privacy" settings.

Private conversations
You can delete conversations from your own inbox, but just like with emails the other participants will still retain copies unless they choose to delete them also. Forum staff have no access to private conversations.

Chat
Chat messages are very temporary, and disappear after a few hours or when the chatroom is closed. But you can also hover over a message and click the red X to delete it immediately.

Username (e.g. you used your real name, but need to hide your identity):
  1. NEW FEATURE: You may now change your own username. Click on your username in the top-right corner of the screen, and select "Account Details". Type in a new username, and (for administrative reasons) a brief reason for why you are changing it. To avoid abuse of this system, you cannot change your username again for 30 days afterwards, so make sure you choose the right name in the first place.
  2. Alternatively (or if you made a mistake and need it corrected), send a private message to the administrator (@FollowingHim in the first instance, @nathan if he is unavailable), asking them to change your username to something else. This will be fastest if you can give more than one suggested username, so if your first is unavailable the admin can immediately change it to one of your other options rather than having a long conversation working out what the username should be.
The next time you log in you will need to use the new username - if you are unsure what it is, look at a post you know you wrote and the username will be beside it.


Leaving the forum

If you no longer wish to participate on the forum, the simplest option is to just log out and not return. There is no need for the moderators or administrator to do anything.

However, if you wish to disappear more thoroughly from the site and not be contacted in future, you may wish to first make a few small changes to your privacy and email notification settings. You may optionally:
  • Go to your "Privacy" settings and lock down your account so nobody can view your profile or send you messages.
  • Go to your "Contact Details" settings, and uncheck the boxes "Receive site mailings" and "Receive email when a new conversation message is received".
If you need any personal information removed or altered before you leave, see above.

Do not ask the staff to delete your account. We will not usually delete an account, because on the public forum all this does is to change the username to "Guest" and leave all the content up anyway, it does little of value. And it causes two serious problems: (1) If this wasn't exactly what the person wanted they have now lost the ability to use the account to contact the staff and clarify their request, e.g. to ask them to also remove sensitive information they had not noticed before; (2) If content was left up that should have been deleted, this now makes it far harder for the moderators to find that content as they can no longer search by username for it. So it is usually counterproductive. Changing the username is usually a far better way of achieving anonymity.


Conclusion

I hope that this helps people to consider what they actually wish to achieve, so when these situations arise they can either sort it out themselves or make clear and specific requests to the moderators / administrator.

Remember, once something is posted on the internet, it is in the public domain and could have been copied by anybody. If you wish to hide something from somebody, it may not matter if the staff here delete it - it may already have been seen and saved. Or somebody could simply go to an automated archiving site like the "Wayback machine" and view an older version of this forum from before the content was deleted. It is better to think carefully about what you write before posting it, than to post too much and then try to have it deleted later. So please do not pester the staff to do things and get upset if we would prefer to handle the situation differently - because whatever we do may be completely irrelevant anyway. Only post things on the public forum that you are happy to be in public in the first place. If you have a particularly difficult situation please use an anonymous username and keep other identifying information private, so that any people you would wish to keep the information private from are unlikely to find it or recognise it if they did. Use private conversations for especially sensitive information or sharing off-site contact details.
 
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Thank you very much as I had struggled with this situation shortly after joining BF. I'm very grateful for you, Samuel, taking the time to walk with me through this to what has worked well for me since then. I trust this information will be a blessing to others in the future. Shalom
 
I very much applaud what you've taken the time to write here, Samuel, and I thank you for it.

Great clarification.
 
Excellent explanation and instruction. Thank you.
 
Thanks Samuel.This will be a great resource to point to for reference in the future.
 
I appreciate this being spelled out. I don't know if you have made an official policy of stating that you will not sell or share non-public database info, but that is something I always appreciate. For example, I think it is nice when forums either do not record ip addresses or lock down the logs. If I'm really paranoid, or course I can VPN, but then again if I'm really really paranoid, I won't even trust the VPN.
Fun times.
 
I appreciate this being spelled out. I don't know if you have made an official policy of stating that you will not sell or share non-public database info, but that is something I always appreciate. For example, I think it is nice when forums either do not record ip addresses or lock down the logs. If I'm really paranoid, or course I can VPN, but then again if I'm really really paranoid, I won't even trust the VPN.
Fun times.
Also, I respect the labor of love of you and of everyone who did this website as a service to people like me (a consumer primarily). My previous comment was not intended to reflect any feeling that you have lacked at all in the generosity you have provided for us here.
 
I appreciate this being spelled out. I don't know if you have made an official policy of stating that you will not sell or share non-public database info, but that is something I always appreciate. For example, I think it is nice when forums either do not record ip addresses or lock down the logs. If I'm really paranoid, or course I can VPN, but then again if I'm really really paranoid, I won't even trust the VPN.
Fun times.
This might help https://biblicalfamilies.org/forum/threads/website-privacy-grade.15444/
 
Thanks for that. Honestly, I don't have concerns, but just seeing the thread made me think. Shiny penny syndrome. And then I was like, well, what if these topics are way off base, and me being here means I'm a really bad person? And of course, thinking through these things is not wrong or bad, but it just goes to show how taboo certain topics have been made, so that you feel weird even discussing them!
 
I appreciate this being spelled out. I don't know if you have made an official policy of stating that you will not sell or share non-public database info, but that is something I always appreciate. For example, I think it is nice when forums either do not record ip addresses or lock down the logs. If I'm really paranoid, or course I can VPN, but then again if I'm really really paranoid, I won't even trust the VPN.
Fun times.
We don't share any database information with others. We also don't use any external traffic monitoring services (like Google Analytics), or embed "like" or "share" buttons from social media sites (which are spyware), to ensure nobody other than ourselves has information on visitors. The only time the site will call to an external page are on those few pages where someone has embedded media from another site (e.g. YouTube videos) - that is unavoidable if you want a functional and enjoyable forum.
We do keep a few minimal logs internally which are available only to administrative staff.
 
Incidentally, I don't trust VPNs either. Given the amount of illegal activity you would assume would end up running through one, anyone starting one would be risking prosecution for facilitating illegal activity. Who could take that risk? Government crimefighting agencies of course, who are immune from such prosecution but very interested in tracking illegal activity. Remember tor was invented by a government agency also.

That makes it inevitable that at least a number of VPNs will be run by government agencies and will be lying when they claim to keep no logs. And if there are good, honest VPNs, it would be near-impossible to identify them.

I do occasionally use a VPN when I need to access something that is visible in the USA but blocked in other countries for some reason.

And if you were in a hostile country (e.g. China) and used a VPN that happened to be run by a friendly country (e.g. the USA or another western government) to escape the local censors but not do anything illegal in the host country, the VPN would be a valuable tool even if it were thoroughly compromised.
 
With the latest forum upgrade (thankyou @nathan) you may now change your own username. This is a feature I do not expect to be used often, but there are times when someone needs to quickly remove their real name from the site due to a personal situation, and this should allow them to do this without waiting for an administrator to do it for them, so it will be very helpful to a small number of people.

If you change it, you won't be able to change it again for a month, so think carefully before doing it! Though I am secretly hoping someone is going to get drunk and foolishly change their name to something ridiculous so we can all laugh at them for a month. At least it's less permanent than a drunken tattoo.
 
Tattoos can get drunk?
 
I guess I'm going to have to make sure my hand stays away from beer bottles from now on, then. What if my tattoos are mean drunks!
 
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