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Dealing with a Racist Childhood Friend

phaedrus

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Male
There is a man who I grew up with who is unmarried and is growing more racist by the day. To me, I see it as a resentful spirit that has grown as women have rejected him. I'm honestly a bit clueless on where to go with him. He's also a bit autistic--likely Aspergers to be pecise.

I would appreciate scripture and or general arguments for why he should not be racist.

Weird request... I know. I'd love to hear any angles y'all can come up with.

Side note: He claims to be a believer though I have more doubts as time goes on.

Side, side note: At what point do you decide to break fellowship?

Side, side, side note: Prayers for him are welcome.

Site, site, side, side note: He is white.
 
Is he racist against people with darker skin, or anyone from another race, even if they're white?
 
Is he racist against people with darker skin, or anyone from another race, even if they're white?
Just people who aren't "white". Which I personally find absurd but then again, I have been around the world a bit.

**addition** I've tried to tell him that he has less in common with Irish people (someone actually from Ireland) than he does with someone of a different ethnicity who grew up down the road from him but it's like talking to a brick wall.
 
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I'm sure someone will give you some great advice. I struggle with racism because it's just so absurd to me that anyone would think that way about anyone else.

If this is a sudden and extreme thing, then I would think about two causes.

1. (and in my opinion the most likely) this is demonic. You can't rationalise it out, because they're not rational about it. You gotta fight it how you'd fight any other demon.
2. What media is he consuming? What is he watching on social media? That stuff when it's repetitive will sink into your brain and start sounding realistic, even when it's not.

Also, as a side note, is this a backlash to all the 'racism' stuff that isn't actually racist? Like claiming that owning a gas stove is now racist. Or thinking that anyone shouldn't be overweight is racist. That stuff is such nonsense and really diminishes what the word actually means, and makes people start to ignore real and concerning racism.
 
I'm sure someone will give you some great advice. I struggle with racism because it's just so absurd to me that anyone would think that way about anyone else.

If this is a sudden and extreme thing, then I would think about two causes.

1. (and in my opinion the most likely) this is demonic. You can't rationalise it out, because they're not rational about it. You gotta fight it how you'd fight any other demon.
2. What media is he consuming? What is he watching on social media? That stuff when it's repetitive will sink into your brain and start sounding realistic, even when it's not.

Also, as a side note, is this a backlash to all the 'racism' stuff that isn't actually racist? Like claiming that owning a gas stove is now racist. Or thinking that anyone shouldn't be overweight is racist. That stuff is such nonsense and really diminishes what the word actually means, and makes people start to ignore real and concerning racism.
#1 possibly though it has been over a few years. Though before this he was super into Anarchism. Now it's White Nationalism. This is where the Aspergers may come in. Not sure. Not an expert on it.

2# also possible.

The side note: it's definitely not this.

AND Thank you for the reply. This one has me scratching my head because I also find it absurd. So absurd that I'm not sure how to combat it beyond platitudes.
 
Yah LOVES variety!! Look at flowers! Look at trees! Plants, etc... He LOVES variety! Period. We cannot even begin to wrap our minds around how very creative HE is and how much HE LOVES VARIETY!!

Not sure how to do battle in this area, but ... 300,000 species of beetles? Really?!? Did I mention variety??

Racism is so freaking myopic I can't even wrap my mind around it!! Heck, I'll take a wife in every shade.... :D Racism is for idiots!!
 
So, the dumb and obvious answer. #1) There is only ONE human race. We are all homo sapiens sapiens. So, yeah . . . if you see an homo erectus or an Australopithicus or something walking around . . . go ahead and call them "monkey boy" or something. The differences between all modern human beings of our genus and species accounts for less than 2%. "Racism" as a term really depends on (atheistic) evolutionary theory . . . (and even then a fairly ignorant variety) as such it really doesn't have a place in a consistent Christian world view. So given the fact that these are NOT "racial" differences . . .they are in fact differences in skin color, language, culture and origin. .. and usually they are steeped in an "in grouping/outgrouping" paradigm. I guess my only suggestions are . . . 1) to pray about it, 2) love him - which may mean "forebearing" at times or it may mean calling him out. It also wouldn't hurt if you happened to have friends in the group that he dislikes. Spending time with actual human beings who don't "fit our stereotypes" is one of the best ways to bring about change.

As to scripture the most compelling one (for me) has to do with being married. Paul never cautioned us about "interracial marriages." Not a thing. What he cautioned us about was being unequally yoked with unbelievers.

13 Now in a like exchange-- I speak as to children-- open wide to us also.
14 Do not be bound together with unbelievers; for what partnership have righteousness and lawlessness, or what fellowship has light with darkness? 15 Or what harmony has Christ with Belial, or what has a believer in common with an unbeliever?
16 Or what agreement has the temple of God with idols? For we are the temple of the living God; just as God said, "I will dwell in them and walk among them; And I will be their God, and they shall be My people. 17 "Therefore, come out from their midst and be separate," says the Lord. "And do not touch what is unclean; And I will welcome you. 18 "And I will be a father to you, And you shall be sons and daughters to Me," Says the Lord Almighty. (2Co 6:13-18 NAS)

So . . . whatever color of skin, whatever language, whatever part of the globe . . . if that person is a follower of Christ I have far more in common with that person (repentance, forgiveness, the LOVE OF CHRIST, adoption, communion, eternity, etc. ) than I do with a physical brother who lacks those qualities.
 
If he is not a Christian, there is no fellowship to break.
You may be asking if you should break friendship.
 
So . . . whatever color of skin, whatever language, whatever part of the globe . . . if that person is a follower of Christ I have far more in common with that person (repentance, forgiveness, the LOVE OF CHRIST, adoption, communion, eternity, etc. ) than I do with a physical brother who lacks those qualities.
I agree. I've told him the same thing. Honestly, it feels to me like he is being spiritually blinded. Nothing I say--no matter how biblical, logical, practical, reasonable--seems to make a dent.
 
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He grew up Baptist, goes to church on Sunday, and claims to be a believer.
But is your friendship fellowship?
Do you actually share about your faith with each other? That’s what fellowship is.
 
I really wonder if his racism is an overreaction against the wicked globohomo spirit of the age.

Everyone in the mainstream media/education/etc is lying to him about everything, and he knows the mainstream narrative to be profoundly false.

The mainstream also tells him that he is an evil racist merely due to the fact that he is a white male. He should hate himself.

Does he really believe that white people are better than others, or does he just notice that he prefers the company of people more like himself?

Does he actually think evil towards others? Does he understand that:
1. God created all of us in His image
2. We all came from Adam and are closely related
3. We are all fallen
4. Christ died to save people from all races
5. Those in Christ are a new race of men

I think there is something good and proper about some sort of nationalism. God Himself ordained the creation of the nations. The Bible seems to teach that they will exist to the end of history. At the same time, nations are not static. They change over time.

The global homogenization sought by team antichrist seeks to destroy the diversity established by God. Team globohomo hates God and is feverishly building the tower of Babel 2.0

Maybe you could point him towards some sort of Biblical or Christian nationalism, as an alternative to the atheistic nonsense of white nationalism.
 
Acts 17:26 KJV
[26] And hath made of one blood all nations of men for to dwell on all the face of the earth, and hath determined the times before appointed, and the bounds of their habitation;

God created all nations of one blood. We are all related by blood, we’re all from the same family. If you say you love God, and yet hate your brother, you are a liar and the truth is not in you.

Acts 10:28 KJV
[28] And he said unto them, Ye know how that it is an unlawful thing for a man that is a Jew to keep company, or come unto one of another nation; but God hath shewed me that I should not call any man common or unclean.

The idea of different races comes from the roots of darwinian evolution. “Racism”, the idea that one skin color or physical traits are inherently superior to another is anti-biblical. Christ died for all nations, ones’ level of melanin is irrelevant.
 
Now it's White Nationalism.
This can take two quite different forms in someone's mind.
1) Does he believe white people are superior to non-whites (more evolved - he might not put it that way, might not even believe that, but that's where this idea fundamentally comes from), and therfore should rule over and be privileged above the non-white people?
OR
2) Does he believe white people are a different nation, and his local area (town, state, entire USA) should belong to the whites, and non-white people are just as entitled to their own land but should go back to Africa or wherever as that's their place (and all the Jews should go to Israel).

In other words, is he a white supremacist, or just a white nationalist? Those two are quite different and should not be confused - one says "blacks should live here but whites should rule them", while the other says "all blacks should leave" - they're almost complete opposites when you think about it. Once you properly understand which you are dealing with you can have more intelligent conversations about it.

But you're not going to persuade him yourself with your own reasoning. He has to persuade himself. Just ask him lots of questions - getting him to ponder this might help you to steer his mind into better directions.

Assuming he's on the spectrum, he should enjoy working this out and explaining his views.

If he's a white supremacist - then he may harbour no animosity towards blacks, might even see valuable features in them (consider them physically stronger for instance, more suited for physical labour) - but may just think that whites are smarter and should rule them, in the old master / slave relationship. He'd like to have more blacks around, provided they do what he says...
If that is the case, ask him exactly what people group should be supreme, and for what measurable reason.
Ultimately find out whether the Asians should rule over the whites - in measures of either academic achievement or brain development, it is Asians that top the charts, not whites.
What about the Jews - are they a ruling or subservient class? Where do they fit in the hierarchy - above the whites or below them? Why?
With that line of reasoning - conducted by himself in response to questions, not suggested by you - he might decide this idea of supremacy isn't such a good idea and might give it up of his own accord, since he wouldn't actually be top of the pecking order!

On the other hand, if he's a white nationalist:
- What are the racial divisions he sees?
- Which land is assigned to each race?
- Why is that land assigned to that race, and not another race? For instance, why should the USA be assigned to the whites and not the native American Indians? Do the blacks get all of Africa - so do the Afrikaners have to leave South Africa in his ideal system? Do the Jews get Israel - and must they be deported from the USA and be sent there?
- How much area does each race get - is it based on population?
In other words, can he explain his own position using rational logic - or does it fall to pieces when he tries to do so?
 
There is a man who I grew up with who is unmarried and is growing more racist by the day. To me, I see it as a resentful spirit that has grown as women have rejected him. I'm honestly a bit clueless on where to go with him. He's also a bit autistic--likely Aspergers to be pecise.

I'm autistic/Asperger's and I will be right up front saying I do not like the majority of urban American black men. Not terribly fond of most urban American black women, either. I've had difficult experiences with them in the past and being in Wyoming where you almost never see urban blacks it's been much easier to let go of my feelings.

I do not consider myself 'racist' because my feelings are based upon personal experience and I also don't have any problems with actual African black people who to me are generally very nice people.

While I'm at it I will also say that Chinese Americans are pretty nice while most of the actual Chinese people I meet tend to be kind of rude and pushy. Plus they spit all the time and it's disgusting.

I say these things because autistics and Aspies don't really give a rip about political correctness. We will say what we will and we will act on our feelings regardless if anyone else is offended.

Oh, and I do not feel any different than Chris Rock feels (language warning):

 
I'm autistic/Asperger's and I will be right up front saying I do not like the majority of urban American black men. Not terribly fond of most urban American black women, either. I've had difficult experiences with them in the past and being in Wyoming where you almost never see urban blacks it's been much easier to let go of my feelings.

I do not consider myself 'racist' because my feelings are based upon personal experience and I also don't have any problems with actual African black people who to me are generally very nice people.

While I'm at it I will also say that Chinese Americans are pretty nice while most of the actual Chinese people I meet tend to be kind of rude and pushy. Plus they spit all the time and it's disgusting.

I say these things because autistics and Aspies don't really give a rip about political correctness. We will say what we will and we will act on our feelings regardless if anyone else is offended.

Oh, and I do not feel any different than Chris Rock feels (language warning):

LOL. I had that album back in the day. I laughed so hard.
 
This can take two quite different forms in someone's mind.
1) Does he believe white people are superior to non-whites (more evolved - he might not put it that way, might not even believe that, but that's where this idea fundamentally comes from), and therfore should rule over and be privileged above the non-white people?
OR
2) Does he believe white people are a different nation, and his local area (town, state, entire USA) should belong to the whites, and non-white people are just as entitled to their own land but should go back to Africa or wherever as that's their place (and all the Jews should go to Israel).

In other words, is he a white supremacist, or just a white nationalist? Those two are quite different and should not be confused - one says "blacks should live here but whites should rule them", while the other says "all blacks should leave" - they're almost complete opposites when you think about it. Once you properly understand which you are dealing with you can have more intelligent conversations about it.

But you're not going to persuade him yourself with your own reasoning. He has to persuade himself. Just ask him lots of questions - getting him to ponder this might help you to steer his mind into better directions.

Assuming he's on the spectrum, he should enjoy working this out and explaining his views.

If he's a white supremacist - then he may harbour no animosity towards blacks, might even see valuable features in them (consider them physically stronger for instance, more suited for physical labour) - but may just think that whites are smarter and should rule them, in the old master / slave relationship. He'd like to have more blacks around, provided they do what he says...
If that is the case, ask him exactly what people group should be supreme, and for what measurable reason.
Ultimately find out whether the Asians should rule over the whites - in measures of either academic achievement or brain development, it is Asians that top the charts, not whites.
What about the Jews - are they a ruling or subservient class? Where do they fit in the hierarchy - above the whites or below them? Why?
With that line of reasoning - conducted by himself in response to questions, not suggested by you - he might decide this idea of supremacy isn't such a good idea and might give it up of his own accord, since he wouldn't actually be top of the pecking order!

On the other hand, if he's a white nationalist:
- What are the racial divisions he sees?
- Which land is assigned to each race?
- Why is that land assigned to that race, and not another race? For instance, why should the USA be assigned to the whites and not the native American Indians? Do the blacks get all of Africa - so do the Afrikaners have to leave South Africa in his ideal system? Do the Jews get Israel - and must they be deported from the USA and be sent there?
- How much area does each race get - is it based on population?
In other words, can he explain his own position using rational logic - or does it fall to pieces when he tries to do so?
I'm not certain that he has that much clarity on his views. Something I've noticed about him is that he never has his own opinions. His opinions are always someone else's. It's like he needs to latch on to somebody else's ideology. From what I can gather, he is for a "white ethno state". So I think he is a White Nationalist--where obviously the US should be a white ethno state since I've never heard him say we should all go back to Europe. He see's white as European nvm that European as an ethnicity is itself vague and imprecise. Honestly, none of what he says makes sense and I'm leaning toward just putting him on the outside of the wall (breaking fellowship), being a friend, and praying for him. Not sure what else to do. Goodness, I had a 5 hour chat back in forth with him today about what a Jew is according to the Bible. It's just insane at some point. I rarely post personal issues here because I usually have a good idea of what I should do. This on the other hand really has me scratching my head. Sadly, I can't do the topic justice by typing it all out. In person, I'm sure we'd come to a much quicker resolution.
 
I'm autistic/Asperger's and I will be right up front saying I do not like the majority of urban American black men. Not terribly fond of most urban American black women, either. I've had difficult experiences with them in the past and being in Wyoming where you almost never see urban blacks it's been much easier to let go of my feelings.

I do not consider myself 'racist' because my feelings are based upon personal experience and I also don't have any problems with actual African black people who to me are generally very nice people.

While I'm at it I will also say that Chinese Americans are pretty nice while most of the actual Chinese people I meet tend to be kind of rude and pushy. Plus they spit all the time and it's disgusting.

I say these things because autistics and Aspies don't really give a rip about political correctness. We will say what we will and we will act on our feelings regardless if anyone else is offended.

Oh, and I do not feel any different than Chris Rock feels (language warning):

Did you have a hard time understanding comedy when you were young? I remember as a child always having to tell him I was joking. The interesting thing is that he would remember it so if I made a joke that was somewhat similar, he would start laughing. If it was something new, I would have to start over and tell him it was a joke. Never thought much of it as a child but as an adult, I started to wonder if he wasn't on the spectrum. Pretty sure he his.
 
You can't reason someone out of a position he didn't use reason to get into.

The irony for us is being accused of being racist for believing that Caucasians are Israelite, but not being racist enough for some folks we know because we also believe that the Mexicans are Israelite.....as well as many other people and groups of varying shades. We also believe that God changed the name of His servants to Christian, which doesn't exclude peoples from other families of the earth who believe.
I know people who are very convinced that interracial marriage is forbidden and still a sin today, but I look at verses that said He, YHWH, would sow Israel in all the earth. I also know that today no one really knows who an amortize, or moabite might be. Caananite? Who knows one?

The creator who made some things pollinate with wind certainly knew that sowing people all over would result in mixing. He said "Your descendants will inherit the nations." I think that may have been a reference to what has happened. ...I sure don't see those with the love of Christ driving out others and taking those nations by force.....but I suspect literal descendants of Jacob/Israel are more numerous then those that only look at "Jews" as Israel could imagine!!

The heridity of colors are interesting. I have white sheep that have black lambs, black sheep that have red spotted lambs, some with black pigmented skin and a black head that have totally white pink skinned offspring. Some litters of triplets born in three colors! They are all sheep.
The black pigment seems connected to more wool in these lines. One spotted lamb had a plush wooly coat wherever she was black, and the white spots were practically wool free, just hair that laid close to her body.
I have pictures of her showing her two dimensional coat.....on my old phone.

Just saw this today. I think our creator likes diversity. That means you can marry someone that looks like you, and have kids that are very similar, or if you feel that you have a future with someone who looks different, from another family of the earth, your children may look like a mix of you and the one you love. It is a deeply personal decision. I can't imagine choosing different then I did. We look European....so do our children, but I cannot see people who chose differently as living in sin. To me sin would be believing in God, and marrying someone who did not. Trying to segregate the body of Christ doesn't look possible to me....or His will. But that's just my opinion.

 
I'm not certain that he has that much clarity on his views.
I didn't think he would either. He has to have messy views to think that this is viable. My point was that if you were to take the time to ask him to clarify what he is thinking, he will probably find that it falls apart when he tries to define it. And he hasn't realised that yet as he has not yet tried to define it.

That will work if he is the sort to reason things out. But @Joleneakamama is right:
You can't reason someone out of a position he didn't use reason to get into.
 
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