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Date Nights
- Thread starter DaPastor
- Start date
sixth_heretic
Member
Ok people I would really like some responses here. This is why I come to this forum so that I can learn how to do this from people who already live the plural lifestyle. Thank you.
You used the r-word, Randy?
The slippery slope: Romance->The Romans->"you be my everything, I'll be your everything"->until I don't feel it any more->move on to someone else.
OK, I made the point on why I don't like the "r-word". But I know what you meant, and of course I DO believe in giving individualized loving, attention to my wives. (Let's open the reply floor for nominations for a new word.)
Ideally, I try to take someone out every week (and we just rotate back and forth, for the most part - and try to line that up with anniversaries and birthdays), though busy-ness and children often stretch that out way too long. You don't have to spend a lot of money - but you do have to get your head out of your own world, and stick it into theirs! (As I'm still learning.)
I've known some who always try to do date night all-together, but it's hard for me to imagine that. We will do some special events all together minus kids (Alison Krauss concert, or Dallas retreat!), but that doesn't count as a "date" for us.
Yes, being a proper plural husband means really not having much personal time, guys. Unless you don't work and don't have kids!
The slippery slope: Romance->The Romans->"you be my everything, I'll be your everything"->until I don't feel it any more->move on to someone else.
OK, I made the point on why I don't like the "r-word". But I know what you meant, and of course I DO believe in giving individualized loving, attention to my wives. (Let's open the reply floor for nominations for a new word.)
Ideally, I try to take someone out every week (and we just rotate back and forth, for the most part - and try to line that up with anniversaries and birthdays), though busy-ness and children often stretch that out way too long. You don't have to spend a lot of money - but you do have to get your head out of your own world, and stick it into theirs! (As I'm still learning.)
I've known some who always try to do date night all-together, but it's hard for me to imagine that. We will do some special events all together minus kids (Alison Krauss concert, or Dallas retreat!), but that doesn't count as a "date" for us.
Yes, being a proper plural husband means really not having much personal time, guys. Unless you don't work and don't have kids!
I agree Nathan that "Romance" if not understood properly can really be a detriment to strong sound relationships. Perhaps another way of asking the question is "What do you do to help ensure that each wife has quality time with you as a husband?" or "What do you do with each wife to ensure ongoing relationship building?"
I guess we can just name it QT! lol
I guess we can just name it QT! lol
As far as Chaplains Rose and I are concerned, way before we even though about poly, her and I would go out on "date" nights. We would go and eat and then to a movie. We even have date night here at home, where we watch a movie in bed and just "dare" the kids to come into our room 
. We still do our regular date nights and we also try and have a date night with "J" during the week that I am home as well. "J" and I try and spend some alone time or "date" on those nights that Rose is working late but I hope in the near future that "J" and I can start having a date night regardless if Rose is working late our not. "J" and I need some time to build our relationship, just as Rose, "J" and myself need to spend time together to build that relationship as well as "J" and Rose need time together to continue to build on the relationship they already have. The building of personal relationships, IMHO, is one of the keys to a successful Covenant Relationship as the building of the group relationship is to the overall health of a Covenant Relationship family.
. We still do our regular date nights and we also try and have a date night with "J" during the week that I am home as well. "J" and I try and spend some alone time or "date" on those nights that Rose is working late but I hope in the near future that "J" and I can start having a date night regardless if Rose is working late our not. "J" and I need some time to build our relationship, just as Rose, "J" and myself need to spend time together to build that relationship as well as "J" and Rose need time together to continue to build on the relationship they already have. The building of personal relationships, IMHO, is one of the keys to a successful Covenant Relationship as the building of the group relationship is to the overall health of a Covenant Relationship family.