why do i seem to be a nut about........?
by steve » Sun May 31, 2009 8:41 am
why do i seem to be a nut about concubinage and various degrees of marriage?
because we have been given a deeper understanding of marriage and i feel that we are to be the ambassadors bringing this truth out. being the ambassadors, we have to know what we are talking about. we need to know it inside-out. we have to own it, understand its nuances and its peripheral relationships.
poly is not just about having more than one wife. we know how to marry a good christian girl, but what rav posted about rescuing the slave girl, wow. i had always wondered about how a couple would bring in a girl rescued from a lifestyle that was problematic. it did not seem that having her live clean on her own until she had "proven" herself was going to give her the loving encouragement and support that a fam would. she would need shelter from the emotions and feelings that she would have. but to marry her and commit to her "until death do us part"? are you possibly committing the fam to a neverending war with the enemy as she doesn't take hold of the tools and support given her and does not grow out of her past?
what about from her point of view? could she be expected to commit the rest of her life to an alien family style with a patriarch for a husband who has the responsibility to make the final descision on so many things? could living a deeply committed christian lifestyle get really old in a short while and she would miss out on all of the fun in life? could she really be sure that this was the right thing?
this is one of the situations where i could see that a marriage of, say, one year might be a good idea. the hope would be that it would work out and then everyone would want to commit to the "full meal deal" marriage. kind of " marriage light" as a precurser to the full deal. or maybe it wouldn't work so well but everyone would want to re-up for another year as they work the kinks out. or maybe all would realize that it just was not going to be a good fit and walk away (temporarily?).
please understand that i am not in favor of a marriage that is at all less than what marriage was designed to fully be. but because of the various non-perfect situations that we humans find ourselves and each other in, a partial or trial marriage may be the stepping stone to a relationship that YHWH could be proud of. whereas the normal all-or-nothing approach might end in failure giving the enemy something to be proud of.
one other situation that i could think of would be where a girl is concerned about whether the man is too controlling. a good question, no amount of measurement or promises or even interviewing his other wife/wives can tell her what it will be like for her personality. rather than walk away from a potentially blessed relationship because of a reasonable fear of committing to the wrong person for the rest of her life, do a trial marriage (concubine marriage) for a period of time.
again let me repeat that i want the fullest possible relationship with each one and will not be satisfied with less than the circumstances will allow.
another thing that i want to mention is that in is. 4:1 the women are asking for a concubine relationship. they promise to provide their own bread and clothing, something that the family working as a unit under the responsibility of the husband is expected to provide. i believe that he is already married to as many as he can afford to support and that is why they are only seeking a concubine relationship.
friends, we must mine all of the understanding of marriage so that we can discuss all of it with something that resembles intelligence when others scratch their heads and ask off-the-wall questions about things peripheral to the subject.
everything of course must be done as YHWH leads us. i am just advocating that we not be closed-minded to anything other than the all-or-nothing approach.
people were not drawn to Yeshua because of who he claimed to be, but because he had knowledge and understanding that he was willing to share. i want to be like him when i grow up
