pebble
Member
Hello everybody, I have this little story I've wanted to share. Before I get to it, just a little background so you know where what direction I came from.
LIFE WAS SHIT.
I don't want to bore you folks with the details and I'm assuming everybody already knows what shit is.
My greatest sin, most probably, is believing in the words of the creations more than the Creator's and trusting more in logic, reason, traditions, and culture than in Him.
Objectivity was the name of the game and solid, concrete evidence wins the day.
In May of 2010, something happened which forced me to reassess my life and my beliefs about a Creator. It has been a long and arduous journey since then, mentally and emotionally. Let's mark that fateful day as THE EVENT.
Before the event, our lives weren't going the way I envisioned it to be and I was always planning and worrying. We live from paycheck to paycheck on a very tight budget. Career-wise, I was in the doldrums and I can assure everybody that I'm not a lazy loser. It just seems like I'm a square peg in a board full of round holes. It was obstacle after obstacle after obstacle. The only things that kept me going like the pink bunny were my family and Invictus’s “my head is bloody but unbowed.”
Six months before the event, there was even an opportunity to make a lot of money. But it was such a stressful period and the little business we invested our savings in was wiped out by tropical storm washi seven months after the event. We were basically back to square one.
By that time I was already aware of the biblical truth on marriage and polygyny but I still cannot accept the word of God as the sole basis for my decisions. I was reading through random biblical topics by then, seeking truth. A vague direction of the path I have to take seemed to appear but, still, I side-stepped this direction and schemed instead to be transferred to another office, a field office preferably. These attempts failed.
Finally, there was a change in the top leadership (I serve as the executive assistant to the director) and I had the chance to get out and do what I love to out in the outdoors in October of 2012. But my elation lasted only for a whole month because the person who replaced me had a mild stroke and I was called back to my old position.
Now, there is a lot of “ifs” involved with the recall. If that other person had his mild stroke a week or two later at the start of November, I’d still be scot free. If another person had arrived as scheduled from a hiatus, in November instead of December, I’d have been free too since she was top priority by the new director. I have already approached the right officials in my grand scheme of things to be transferred to a field office.
Another thing involved was money. I am not particular about money or material things. It is just a tool. I place more value on people and relationships. But it has a key role in this little story.
I already have 17,000 pesos (around USD 378) lined up as a bonus for field work in November of 2012. Since I was recalled to desk work, I lost the opportunity to earn it and all hope of a nice Christmas for my family with it.
USD 378 is not much if we look at international standards but to a fixed-income Filipino family living off meagre government pay, that’s a lot already. A 5-person family could already have a meal on 1 kilo of rice that we can buy with one US dollar.
So I’m back at my old desk with visions of a grand Christmas feast gone kaput. This time, He got my attention, especially since the health of another person was on the line. But still I was timid about the whole obedience thing even while I kept digging for truth. I was already a frequent visitor of BF, poking through the articles in the resource page.
For the first half of 2013, I was just pussyfooting and keeping a low profile but devouring texts and articles on biblical concepts and ideas. Then finally, sometime in August or September, I finally came around to my senses and committed myself to total obedience to God, His guidelines, and His directions. It was all or nothing.
Then... things started to look better. First, money matters improved. People keep giving me money and I finally overcame my pride which hindered me to receive help. That’s right, people just outright gave me money.
We had this project to renovate our home and we started last September with just 5,000 pesos, barely enough for a few bags of cement and some gallons of paint but I told the wifey let’s start anyway and not to worry because He is looking out for our needs. We are nearly done now, from money people kept giving us.
Last Christmas, we were able to share our blessings because people gave us lots of stuff and money.
Here’re the kicker for me. I was planning to buy something for my motorbike last December which is really more of a want than a need. I asked my wife for a loan of 2,400 pesos, the cost of the parts. A day before I planned to buy the parts, I had the opportunity to earn a quick 2,500 pesos. Actually, I earned 1,000 pesos and somebody gave me 1,500.
And then the other night, I told the wifey we are going to go with her on a weekend trip (she planned to go solo because we can’t afford the fair for the kids and I) to meet some people. Of course, she feebly protested because but I told her let us just wait. Yesterday afternoon at 4:00 P.M. somebody gave me some money even after telling him he doesn’t have to. It was enough for us to go together on that trip tomorrow.
And there is the career. I had a really discouraging experience when it came to applying for promotion in my agency. If you know how our government runs for the past decades, you’ll get an idea why. The last time I applied for promotion was December of 2011. Despite my being the executive assistant of the director, I didn’t even make it to the top 10 candidates. Of course, I didn’t pull any strings.
Another round of promotion is coming up this year. This time I wasn’t even that interested in filing an application, knowing already that God will put me where He wants me to serve Him. December of 2013, my boss the director asked me “what is the desire of my heart,” referring to the promotions and then first week of January 2014, our administrative officer, who I’m not really cozy with, gave me the list of available positions and told me to choose the one I want (her act is independent from that of my boss). I mean, people are already scrambling and jostling just to get a shot at the offered promotions and the two people who can make it happen have basically told me to go pick one.
Of course, up to now I have not taken any option. I am leaving everything to God, I will go where He wants me to go to serve Him best. However, I did sent some feeler to my boss that I want to be assigned in the field... twice, once with the help of another official. My boss denied both requests, saying she needs me where I am right now.
And then, on January 6, 2014 I followed another of God’s direction (I know, I sound like I’ve totally gone off the deep end by now). The following day, in a meeting with all the chiefs of our agency, the boss asked me if I want to handle a field office. It was a complete change of heart and turn-around on her part. A week ago, she had flatly refused to let me go.
I realized It’s been staring at me all the while. In the OT, there is a pattern to the stories: obedience = blessings and disobedience = punishment.
I would like to disabuse readers of the notion that we need to do good things in order to harvest more blessings. The Prosperity Gospel is false teaching. Everything is according to the mercy and grace of God, not according to our deeds.
But career and money do catch people’s attentions.
I simply set out to obey. God, in all His grace and goodness, has offered me a glimpse of what awaits the obedient.
Even the personal relationship (which is more important to me than money) within my family has vastly improved.
Can you blame a simple fellow like me to finally “Trust in the LORD with all my heart; and lean not unto my own understanding?”
Back in college, an Adventist friend passed me a note with Matthew 6:33 written on it. I didn’t know what it meant nor was interested in knowing.
Now I know.
Thanks to all and all glory be to our Father in heaven.
LIFE WAS SHIT.
I don't want to bore you folks with the details and I'm assuming everybody already knows what shit is.
My greatest sin, most probably, is believing in the words of the creations more than the Creator's and trusting more in logic, reason, traditions, and culture than in Him.
Objectivity was the name of the game and solid, concrete evidence wins the day.
In May of 2010, something happened which forced me to reassess my life and my beliefs about a Creator. It has been a long and arduous journey since then, mentally and emotionally. Let's mark that fateful day as THE EVENT.
Before the event, our lives weren't going the way I envisioned it to be and I was always planning and worrying. We live from paycheck to paycheck on a very tight budget. Career-wise, I was in the doldrums and I can assure everybody that I'm not a lazy loser. It just seems like I'm a square peg in a board full of round holes. It was obstacle after obstacle after obstacle. The only things that kept me going like the pink bunny were my family and Invictus’s “my head is bloody but unbowed.”
Six months before the event, there was even an opportunity to make a lot of money. But it was such a stressful period and the little business we invested our savings in was wiped out by tropical storm washi seven months after the event. We were basically back to square one.
By that time I was already aware of the biblical truth on marriage and polygyny but I still cannot accept the word of God as the sole basis for my decisions. I was reading through random biblical topics by then, seeking truth. A vague direction of the path I have to take seemed to appear but, still, I side-stepped this direction and schemed instead to be transferred to another office, a field office preferably. These attempts failed.
Finally, there was a change in the top leadership (I serve as the executive assistant to the director) and I had the chance to get out and do what I love to out in the outdoors in October of 2012. But my elation lasted only for a whole month because the person who replaced me had a mild stroke and I was called back to my old position.
Now, there is a lot of “ifs” involved with the recall. If that other person had his mild stroke a week or two later at the start of November, I’d still be scot free. If another person had arrived as scheduled from a hiatus, in November instead of December, I’d have been free too since she was top priority by the new director. I have already approached the right officials in my grand scheme of things to be transferred to a field office.
Another thing involved was money. I am not particular about money or material things. It is just a tool. I place more value on people and relationships. But it has a key role in this little story.
I already have 17,000 pesos (around USD 378) lined up as a bonus for field work in November of 2012. Since I was recalled to desk work, I lost the opportunity to earn it and all hope of a nice Christmas for my family with it.
USD 378 is not much if we look at international standards but to a fixed-income Filipino family living off meagre government pay, that’s a lot already. A 5-person family could already have a meal on 1 kilo of rice that we can buy with one US dollar.
So I’m back at my old desk with visions of a grand Christmas feast gone kaput. This time, He got my attention, especially since the health of another person was on the line. But still I was timid about the whole obedience thing even while I kept digging for truth. I was already a frequent visitor of BF, poking through the articles in the resource page.
For the first half of 2013, I was just pussyfooting and keeping a low profile but devouring texts and articles on biblical concepts and ideas. Then finally, sometime in August or September, I finally came around to my senses and committed myself to total obedience to God, His guidelines, and His directions. It was all or nothing.
Then... things started to look better. First, money matters improved. People keep giving me money and I finally overcame my pride which hindered me to receive help. That’s right, people just outright gave me money.
We had this project to renovate our home and we started last September with just 5,000 pesos, barely enough for a few bags of cement and some gallons of paint but I told the wifey let’s start anyway and not to worry because He is looking out for our needs. We are nearly done now, from money people kept giving us.
Last Christmas, we were able to share our blessings because people gave us lots of stuff and money.
Here’re the kicker for me. I was planning to buy something for my motorbike last December which is really more of a want than a need. I asked my wife for a loan of 2,400 pesos, the cost of the parts. A day before I planned to buy the parts, I had the opportunity to earn a quick 2,500 pesos. Actually, I earned 1,000 pesos and somebody gave me 1,500.
And then the other night, I told the wifey we are going to go with her on a weekend trip (she planned to go solo because we can’t afford the fair for the kids and I) to meet some people. Of course, she feebly protested because but I told her let us just wait. Yesterday afternoon at 4:00 P.M. somebody gave me some money even after telling him he doesn’t have to. It was enough for us to go together on that trip tomorrow.
And there is the career. I had a really discouraging experience when it came to applying for promotion in my agency. If you know how our government runs for the past decades, you’ll get an idea why. The last time I applied for promotion was December of 2011. Despite my being the executive assistant of the director, I didn’t even make it to the top 10 candidates. Of course, I didn’t pull any strings.
Another round of promotion is coming up this year. This time I wasn’t even that interested in filing an application, knowing already that God will put me where He wants me to serve Him. December of 2013, my boss the director asked me “what is the desire of my heart,” referring to the promotions and then first week of January 2014, our administrative officer, who I’m not really cozy with, gave me the list of available positions and told me to choose the one I want (her act is independent from that of my boss). I mean, people are already scrambling and jostling just to get a shot at the offered promotions and the two people who can make it happen have basically told me to go pick one.
Of course, up to now I have not taken any option. I am leaving everything to God, I will go where He wants me to go to serve Him best. However, I did sent some feeler to my boss that I want to be assigned in the field... twice, once with the help of another official. My boss denied both requests, saying she needs me where I am right now.
And then, on January 6, 2014 I followed another of God’s direction (I know, I sound like I’ve totally gone off the deep end by now). The following day, in a meeting with all the chiefs of our agency, the boss asked me if I want to handle a field office. It was a complete change of heart and turn-around on her part. A week ago, she had flatly refused to let me go.
I realized It’s been staring at me all the while. In the OT, there is a pattern to the stories: obedience = blessings and disobedience = punishment.
I would like to disabuse readers of the notion that we need to do good things in order to harvest more blessings. The Prosperity Gospel is false teaching. Everything is according to the mercy and grace of God, not according to our deeds.
But career and money do catch people’s attentions.
I simply set out to obey. God, in all His grace and goodness, has offered me a glimpse of what awaits the obedient.
Even the personal relationship (which is more important to me than money) within my family has vastly improved.
Can you blame a simple fellow like me to finally “Trust in the LORD with all my heart; and lean not unto my own understanding?”
Back in college, an Adventist friend passed me a note with Matthew 6:33 written on it. I didn’t know what it meant nor was interested in knowing.
Now I know.
Thanks to all and all glory be to our Father in heaven.
