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Church pickup lines...

nathan

nathan

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So my two youngest just got home from Student Life camp at the beach, seemed like a good time, with Chris Tomlin and Louie Giglio.
Of course, what do they remember from the conference? "Church pickup lines", like...

"Say, I was just reading Numbers, and realized I don't have yours."
"If I walk around you 7 times, will you fall for me?"
"I'm pretty flexible--I don't think a woman should be submissive on the first date." (Actually, we agree with that elsewhere on this site!)
"Before tonight, I never believed in predestination."
"What do you think Paul meant by 'Greet everyone with a holy kiss'?"
"Is it a sin for you to steal my heart?"
"I hear there's going to be a love offering tonight."

!!
 
Excellent even if cheesy. Had me laughing (and I did take notes). :)
 
How would you like to join my Purpose Driven Life?
Unfortunately I cant perform miracles and I've only got enough bread and fish for 2 people.
It's obvious to me that you sprouted from the good kinda soil.
I believe one of my ribs belongs to you.
I just don't feel called to celibacy.
I'm a proverbs 32 kind of guy and you're a proverbs 31 kinda woman...
If we were around with Noah... then you, me... pair.
I'm pretty much considered an elder in the congregation these days
Me. You. Song of Songs: the remix.
When I read philippians 4:8, I think about you.
I would leave 99 sheep to come and find you... and then I would carry you home joyfully on my shoulder
Look, you're nearly 22. Most christians are 3 years into marriage by now... just settle for me.
You make me want to be a better Christian.
You make the Queen of Sheba look like a hobo.
Do you need prayer? because I am certainly willing to lay hands on you.
 
:lol: Ok, this is a fun venture... :)

Here are a couple with a slight plural twist:
Say, I already have the 99 at home and you're the one that's missing.
You're the second wife I've been looking for.

(ok,need some help here).
 
If I offer to work for your dad 7 years, will you marry me?
Sun, stand thou still while I chase this woman!
 
>>Do you need prayer? because I am certainly willing to lay hands on you.

LOL! OK, now we're moving into the direct approach.

"It's cold in this church. I'm claiming Ecclesiastes 4:11."
 
Nathan7 said:
>>Do you need prayer? because I am certainly willing to lay hands on you.

LOL! OK, now we're moving into the direct approach.

"It's cold in this church. I'm claiming Ecclesiastes 4:11."
Click to expand...

This one had me rolling... I think I'll leave the comedy to you guys... well played!
 
i have the sign-up sheet for the Abishag Ministry right here in my pocket, would you be interested?
1 Kings 1:1-3

(sorry, only works for us older guys)
 
:lol: Just how old does one have to be... :lol: (let me get my cane)
 
well....i spose it works for anybody that can get away with it ;)

i might not be decrepit enough but i might be able to fake it. a winter coat on a hot day "it is a cold sweat, honest". (although the lightning bolt might warm a guy up)
 
Guys, guys!!

As excellent as these all are, whatever happened to the all time classic, being tweaked with a "redux from the pew," and by that I mean, "You come here often?" :roll:
 
alit53, good point, don't give up on the classics! :)
 
I've been reading Joshua and wondered: If I march around you 7 times will you fall for me?
 
Perhaps the Bridegroom should market a little differently... round up all the potentials, send them to David's oil lamp market, with instructions to bring back lamps full of oil to the party venue, and if the get back in time, they may be eligible for the grand prize!
 
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