I'm humbly requesting prayer for myself and someone near and dear to me.
This person, I met because of my search regarding plural marriage. It had been something on my heart lifelong, my examination rekindled later in life by certain events.
For almost a decade now, this person has been a part of my life. We have shared amazing moments, and though I'm usually the most rational about such things, I could credibly say encountering her at all was a divine thing.
We are on rocky ground right now. She has dealt with a ton of unchangeable, permanent conditions of both physical and mental health. She has experienced immeasurable amounts of abuse from others, including familial, relationship, and other types that are deeply personal and wounding. I also have not been the most present as of late due to a situation where I thought I was exercising provider wisdom, but instead, was actually clinging to pride and not hearing her true needs.
As a result, at this point, we are.. taking some time apart. In our last conversation prior to this, I came to realize there were a lot of faith struggles and changes in her perspectives that I hadn't realized. Some of which I dealt with too, over the course of my life, but we just stopped being able to talk about those things. I can't force anything on her, but I care about her deeply. I love her as the human being she is, regardless. And I know as much as I've loved her, God loves her infinitely more. It kills me to see her hurting, and not be able to do anything. I guess that's the guy thing, right? We want to just fix it.
But the fix for this one at least for now, is out of my hands. And yes, I know what I want with this person. But more than what I want with her, I want her to be safe, happy, confident in God's love for her. Not storm tossed by every emotion, uncertain of who she is, and what's real and what's not. And that's going to take a miracle, a mighty work. But something in me, sees something so beautiful and worthwhile in this human being, that I want and pray for that with every fibre of my being. And thank you to anyone who can join with me in that prayer.
This person, I met because of my search regarding plural marriage. It had been something on my heart lifelong, my examination rekindled later in life by certain events.
For almost a decade now, this person has been a part of my life. We have shared amazing moments, and though I'm usually the most rational about such things, I could credibly say encountering her at all was a divine thing.
We are on rocky ground right now. She has dealt with a ton of unchangeable, permanent conditions of both physical and mental health. She has experienced immeasurable amounts of abuse from others, including familial, relationship, and other types that are deeply personal and wounding. I also have not been the most present as of late due to a situation where I thought I was exercising provider wisdom, but instead, was actually clinging to pride and not hearing her true needs.
As a result, at this point, we are.. taking some time apart. In our last conversation prior to this, I came to realize there were a lot of faith struggles and changes in her perspectives that I hadn't realized. Some of which I dealt with too, over the course of my life, but we just stopped being able to talk about those things. I can't force anything on her, but I care about her deeply. I love her as the human being she is, regardless. And I know as much as I've loved her, God loves her infinitely more. It kills me to see her hurting, and not be able to do anything. I guess that's the guy thing, right? We want to just fix it.
But the fix for this one at least for now, is out of my hands. And yes, I know what I want with this person. But more than what I want with her, I want her to be safe, happy, confident in God's love for her. Not storm tossed by every emotion, uncertain of who she is, and what's real and what's not. And that's going to take a miracle, a mighty work. But something in me, sees something so beautiful and worthwhile in this human being, that I want and pray for that with every fibre of my being. And thank you to anyone who can join with me in that prayer.
